His brother is saying his name again, and the way that he enunciates those syllables just sends anxiousness and fear— shuddering, overwhelming fear— into his gut. "What have you done?"

Rael wants to say nothing, wants to tell him that he didn't do a thing, but it comes out anyway, strangled and so nervous, like a half-truthful excuse, "Those humans were just filth, hyung!" Saying that gives him a little strength— remembering the incident that had led to those foolish men becoming bloody smears drains the worried hesitation from his voice, fills him again with indignation. "They disrespected me, disrespected us, and deserved what they got." If there was one thing that Rael could not handle, it was being talked down to and underestimated by a pack of foolish creatures so very below them. Couldn't they see he was different? That he was special—

"Rael," his brother says— no, it is times like these that this is not his older brother, but the head of the Kertia clan instead. "Does it make you happy?"

That is not a question to which Rael knows the answer. It silences him immediately, puts him back on alert— he knows how to answer the usual questions (Rael-what-did-you-do, Rael-why-can't-you-restrain-yourself, and then finally, eventually, always, Rael-do-you-know-why-I-am-doing-this), but this fits none of those templates. This question leaves Rael in the cold, worried because in all his five hundred years, he has never heard his brother be so abstract. "Hyung..?" comes from his throat. He feels like a child again, so lost in his apprehension.

The next words come like an arrow, shot straight into Rael's stomach. "Does bullying those weaker than you make you that happy?"

"Of course not!" Rael rejects that accusation, struggling to mount a defense against it, "They just—" He lets righteous anger flow through his veins again, feels justified as he spits out, "When they insulted me, they insulted us— they insulted you! How could I have let that stand?"

"Rael Kertia," his leader says, and Rael can feel those red eyes staring down, demanding an answer. "Do you think you are so worth the Kertia name?"

Shame. Shame floods his body from the tips of his fingers to the core of him, the wonderful high from slaying a few impudent humans disappears in an instant, leaving him feeling so damn hollow and worthless. His brother has never sounded so disappointed in him, not since the last time they'd spoken.

"Of course I am." It's ridiculously weak, tentative, because he knows what comes next. Those quick, dexterous fingers reaching out to curl against his waist, making Rael shiver with something between anticipation and unease.

Rajak's voice is right against his ear, not judging, never judging, always so indulgent and frighteningly indifferent. "Prove it to me, then."

Ever since Rael was a child, he had been conceited beyond measurable compare, naively prideful of his lineage. That had always caused problems for him, turned courtyard jeers into bloody battles because Rael didn't know what tolerance and sophistication was no matter how many times Rajak explained them to him.

"He is my younger brother," Rajak was always having to say. He had started to say it so much that Rael begins to hate the sound of those words as much as the truth behind them. Whenever Rael causes a problem, there Rajak is, as though he could smell his younger brother's mischief from a mile away. "It is my fault for not teaching him properly." Another tired lie. It's not his brother's fault at all, of course, but no matter how much Rael longs to interject, he can never argue with Rajak when things get like that— the future of their clan on one knee, begging for forgiveness all because of him.

"I'm sorry," always comes out afterward, once they are alone. He clumsily grasps at whatever excuses he can, anything to prevent Rajak from blaming him. "I just get so angry, and..."

"Stop," his brother used to say, in such kind tones that Rael can hardly even imagine it now. He used to put his hand on his shoulder, gentle, reassuring. "You are my responsibility."

Rael doesn't recall exactly when that kindness begins to fade, but he remembers the first time the reality of it hits him fully. Rael doesn't even know what he had done that time, only remembers Rajak's red eyes dark and burning, remembers nausea and worry, that voice with every bit of warmth sucked out of it: "If you were truly sorry, you would learn, Rael."

If he had been a lesser entity, the sound of that voice would have broken him there, but Rael is a persistent boy, and foolish. "I am sorry," he insists, "I can still learn— I will," so eager to make his brother pleased with him again, proud of him (as if Rajak had ever been either of those things, forced to be his own brother's keeper and accept the consequences of his actions, as though every offense had been delivered by his own two hands).

Rajak hadn't believed him then either, gave him those same four words that Rael has since learned to fear: Prove it to me.

Oh, but Rael hadn't known what exactly that meant, only begged and pleaded until, "Hyung, I'll do anything," slips free from his young mouth and Rajak's eyes flicker with something. Rael catches that and allows himself a little optimism, relieved that he can still fix things and make Rajak forgive him. "Anything," he repeats. This time, Rajak's whole face changes, his cheeks rising just a fraction, his eyes almost beginning to glint and then, Rael realizes with surprise (surprise and anxiousness and rising dread), Rajak is smiling.

He reaches out to touch the underside of Rael's chin, his fingers hot to the touch and chilling to the bone as he dips in to speak soft and quiet against his ear, "I will teach you properly. You had better learn this time."

With those careful words, Rael had expected a death sentence. He still isn't sure if Rajak's mercy had been better or worse.

Rajak's fingers pull at his clothes, press hard at his skin and Rael forces himself not to pull away from his brother's invasive touch. He reminds himself that this is what he had promised, that he had never before seen these depths of Rajak's anger. He stands stock still as Rajak strips him to the skin, shivering solely from the cold and not from the sound of authority rife in Rajak's voice. "You need to learn control, humility, responsibility." Rael is not a fool no matter how much his brother is convinced he is, knows what punishment he's accepting when Rajak sinks his fingers in his hair and pushes him to his knees.

Rajak is not gentle by any means, thrusts hard into his throat, making him choke and gag around his cock. Rael sucks at the length as Rajak commands, keeping his mouth open wide and head tilted to make it easier. His eyes shut as he disconnects, trying to recall some distant memory from childhood he held dear, anything he can think of to put a barrier between his body's actions and his mind. This is just a necessary chore, punishment he had to endure to make Rajak believe in him.

"Even like this, can you still call yourself a part of the Kertia clan?" Rajak's sneering words force him out of his thoughts and into indignation. Of course, he could. He was who he was regardless of actions— the same blood that flowed to Rajak flowed through him, and he was Rael Kertia. Rajak doesn't seem to be pleased with that response. On his next movement, he thrusts in deeply, holding Rael there with lips wrapped around the base until all that pride is gone from his head and he can think about is the press of Rajak's dick against the back of his throat and how much he wants to breathe.

"You are nothing," Rajak tells him, a startling sense of finality in his tone. Rael doesn't have the chance to even form a groan of objection before Rajak is fucking his mouth, thrusting harder, faster. Injured pride burns red and collects behind his eyes and he's never felt so relieved when Rajak's cock finally pulses on his tongue. He pulls out immediately, spurting his release over Rael's face and Rael can feel that gaze traveling over him with satisfaction. His ears are hot, face red with humiliation and impotent anger as Rajak tucks himself back into his pants, and commands, "Remember this shame."

While Rael can never forget, he can never learn either.