WARNING: This chapter contains mature content!

A/N: For everyone still following the story, and especially those who reviewed, thank you. The support you all give makes this worth doing. The story continues, so enjoy the latest chapter!

Solace

I'm lying in bed in my apartment with the lights off, trying to figure out if I can go back to sleep before morning. I haven't exactly been sleeping well for the past few days. My schedule has turned into me going to sleep late and waking up really early, and it seems today won't break the cycle. This has been going on for a long time, but it really hit me after the girls' party.

It's been about two weeks since then, but apart from my sleeping issues, it doesn't seem like much else has changed. Sure, the party did bring everyone together like it was supposed to, but life goes on now that it's over. Parties don't last forever, after all.

I turn and stare out my window at the sky—which is still dark because it is so early—before observing the village itself. Ever-growing and changing, at least it still feels like home to me. It's expanding, which is great because I love to explore what new districts are appearing; there's always new shops to wander into, new roads to walk, new people to see...

But despite all the new, the old remains.

I can't help but think about my friends. We're all remnants of the village from the days I knew growing up. Things were simpler then, despite everything that was to come for us… and the things that were to come for the village itself.

Sasuke is the same old Sasuke. He's still arrogant and looks down on me, the jerk. Amazingly enough, the friendship we have remains intact... Of course, he's been more or less welcomed back into the village. I'm glad to have one of my oldest friends with me as I continue on in life. But it's not like we've been spending a lot of time together. He's always busy restoring the old Uchiha compound, training, watching after Karin, and going on the occasional trip outside the village. His new friends don't seem to cause any problems; I assume because he's incredibly stern, like a father or watchful older brother or something.

It does kind of hurt that he spends more time with the three of them than he does with his old team… But having him around is better than the way things used to be when he left all those years ago.

I've been spending some quality time with Sai a lot recently. We've spent a few nights staying up late just talking about things, most of which I can't even remember. But that's the thing. I don't need to recall every single thing we talk about to know that I enjoy his company. He did tell me a story about walking up on Kiba in the baths and how they nearly got into a fight. Honestly, I think he might have a crush on Kiba and is just unaware of it or something. He's always teasing him…

Anyway, I have come to find comfort in him. It's good to have another guy I can sit down and talk to, ya know?

Ino's been a bit persistent with her nosiness lately. She's always asking me about what Shikamaru and I are up to, and I always have to brush it off. I still haven't told anyone that he and I are taking a 'break' from each other, and it seems he hasn't either. It's our little secret, I guess… Maybe that's a good thing…

Rarely, I can spend time with Ino, and perhaps with some others joining us, and kind of talk. I never knew her super well, and frankly found her to be kind of annoying, but she's very genuine and real. Occasionally she cracks a funny joke. I like those things about her, if nothing else.

I bumped into Karin a little while back and managed to make her sit down to lunch with me. She's happy with Sasuke and their living arrangement, which is exactly what she told me. She kind of opened up to me, instead of shoving me off or putting on a tough front like she used to. I still don't know her that well, though… Her baby bump is starting to show, too. I wonder what she's having...

I don't know why, but I do want her to be content in life. She's not a bad person, and she's incredibly funny at times. It seems like she's just been through a lot, and it's human nature to want someone like that to find some happiness.

Sakura-chan has been exceptionally busy lately. She's aiming to take over as a head medic at the hospital. In order to do that, she's been studying more techniques, learning about more diseases, how to cure them, and things of that sort. To my surprise, she actually invited me out to spend a day in the park together once on one of her days off, and we wound up talking the whole day away. Apparently, we both agree that even if we're not close like when we were kids, it is good that Team Seven is together in the village again. Apart from that, she didn't really talk about Sasuke, which kind of surprised me. It seemed like she just wanted to be hanging out with me.

She laughed a lot that day…

I'm glad I could make her smile again.

Honestly, it was the date I always wanted… But…

I still miss Shikamaru so much.

I miss his smile, his constant need to look out for me, his seriousness matched by surprising and rare bursts of goofiness that made me think he'd make a good husband, the way he looked at me during sex, the way he'd hold me in the afterglow… I just want him back in my life. Not as just a friend, either. I've got enough friends.

I need him to be mine again.

I sigh heavily and close my eyes for a moment.

Now that he's not with me, I remember the small things about him. How he always had to beat the rain, but whenever we got caught in it, he'd let himself get wet and say we have a place to go to that's warm and dry. How he had the habit of organizing things in my house, especially in my kitchen and bedroom, even when I told him it was useless. I miss his hair and how stubborn he was about always wearing it up in a ponytail. I miss falling asleep on him when we were watching movies together, and him telling me it was okay, even though I knew it wasn't. I miss the comfort of knowing there was always someone there, wanting to be with me and wanting to understand me as much as humanly possible.

Going on without him has been very hard.

Sure, he convinced me that this break was for the best, but that doesn't mean I like it.

It's so unfortunate that we can grow so attached to people, and then they go away from us for one reason or another. Yet there're some people I see regularly who I can't seem to shake. Life is weirdly unfair in that way.

Shikamaru and I do see each other around, but it's not like it was when we were dating… or even before we started dating. I used to see him all the time back then. Heck, he was just a friend who was always around in those days. But now that all is said and done, it's like we've drifted apart, and it hurts so much.

I ran into him the other day—not literally, but you get it. It was two days ago, to be exact.

We wound up seeing each other in Tsunade-obaa-chan's office. I was just there to visit and see if I could help with her moving her things out, but he was being sent on a mission that has kept him out of the village until today—Inauguration Day.

Kakashi-sensei is being named the Sixth Hokage today. The village is ecstatic about it, too.

When I saw Shikamaru, I caught him in the hall and I asked him if he'd go to it with me. He told me it'd be fine as long as he was back in time. Then he suggested we bring Sakura-chan and the others as well. I wasn't opposed to this, but it effectively dashed my hopes of spending some time alone with him… as friends. It's been so long since we were alone together.

I guess I should be happy he agreed to hang out with me.

And I know he didn't say we should bring the others to avoid being alone with me. I can tell because when he said it, it seemed like it just came out naturally. Because we're all friends, ya know.

I've grown pretty good at reading him now that we're not together—a skill that I wish I could've had when we were together. It might have helped me prevent our separation in the first place.

I'd heard that old saying that you don't really know the one you love until they're gone…

The thought makes me tear up a little because it's incredibly true. If we had a second chance, it would be so much better…

Another thing, tomorrow I'm leaving for Mt. Myoboku to complete the training I planned. I really hope I get to say goodbye to Shikamaru and the others; Shikamaru most of all because he'll be going away for about a year to the opposite end of the world. I doubt we'll be able to see each other even once.

Eventually, I gave up on falling asleep. But when I tried to get out of bed, I found that I lacked the will to do it. So I just kinda stayed in place, my mind wandering aimlessly.

Before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep again.

When I woke up, I saw the sun in the sky. It appeared to have just risen over the mountains on the horizon, meaning I hadn't slept too long.

Feeling better rested, I was finally able to get out of bed and get ready for the day. I guess I should wear something nice. It is a pretty big thing and this will also probably be the last time I'll be able to see any of my friends for a while.

I picked out a dark blue undershirt to wear with my short-sleeved orange vest—which I left unzipped. I also chose a pair of black slacks that I hadn't seen in several months. It took a while, ironing everything and actually combing my hair, which isn't super long since I recently cut it, but I think I look pretty nice.

On my way to Sakura-chan's house, I couldn't help but notice a lot of girls giving me attention, blushing and crowding around each other, watching me as I walked. It's kind of embarrassing to be honest. I never did like this kind of attention. I admit, the things I liked about Sakura-chan was she was bold and different—someone I could talk to and be myself around. The same could be said of Shikamaru, who I always felt pretty comfortable around. He came onto me and blindsided me with his feelings; I'll never forget that day. And that was attractive to me, even if it took a while to realize it. The fact that he's a guy made it something to get adjusted to… but I was glad to have opened myself up to him.

Though, it's not like I never noticed him when we were kids…

I don't know.

Sexuality isn't something I'm sure about… I like girls, but I also apparently like guys.

"Naruto," Sakura-chan's voice caught me by surprise.

I looked over my shoulder and saw her coming my way with a smile as she weaved through the people crowding the streets.

"Sakura-chan!" I said, a bit more enthusiastically than I first realized.

When she reached me, she patted my shoulder a little roughly. "How's it going today? Ready for the inauguration?"

"Yea! I'm psyched! We haven't done this in years, since Tsunade-obaa-chan!"

Sakura-chan's eyes lit with fondness as she recalled it. "Wow, that was so long ago… We were so young."

"Now look at us. All grown up…"

"Mostly." She commented, giving me a look that suggested I wasn't fully matured. "You miss those days?"

"In some ways, yes. But mostly, no. I'm so much closer to you and everyone else now than I was back then. That means something to me."

"Well, Ino and Choji are waiting outside the Hokage mansion. There's a crowd already."

"Where's Kakashi-sensei?" I ask. I haven't seen him in a while, actually. Wonder if he's keeping a low profile to read his pervy books.

"I don't know."

"Hmm…" I take a moment and think it over, "Let's just head to the mansion then. He's gotta show up to the ceremony."

"Alright." She shrugged and started walking with me. As we made our way through the village, I happened to notice girls giving less attention to me, and more negative attention to Sakura-chan. This was specifically something I noticed when I saw a girl from before giving her the stink eye.

Did they think she was my girlfriend?

"Something wrong?" she asked, looking up at me curiously.

"N—no! Nothing.." I reply quickly, hiding it from her. I can't say why, but the thought of someone mistreating Sakura-chan still gets me riled up…

As we came up to the main street facing the mansion, we were more or less blocked from proceeding due to the concentration of people crowding the area. There was so much talking that I couldn't hear anything Sakura-chan said to me.

When I felt someone grab my arm, quite roughly, I turned and saw Ino and Choji attempting to get closer to Sakura-chan and myself through the crowd. I pulled Ino by the arm and she fell into me, dragging Choji along with her. The three of us bumped into Sakura-chan, who was knocked into a stranger.

We all laughed it off as we attempted to find a less crowded place to watch.

"We tried to get here earlier, but someone was taking too long to get ready!" Ino told us once we'd all migrated to a rooftop.

"It's fine. We actually just got here, too." Sakura-chan said.

"Where's Shikamaru?" I asked his teammates.

"I don't know." Choji told me. "He wasn't back in the village last night."

"Big plans for today?" Ino raised her eyebrow and gave a suggestive look.

I felt myself growing warm all over, "No, nothing like that, jeez. I was just wondering where he was."

I was very disappointed. Shikamaru needed to be here today… I needed him to be here with me.

Before I knew it, the Inauguration had begun. Some Jonin came out to the large balcony on the Hokage mansion and gave their speeches about Kakashi-sensei, who was standing out of sight. Even Yamato-sensei gave a speech about him, which was a bit long-winded.

His speech was the last one before Kakashi-sensei emerged and the crowd gave a thunderous cheering applause for him. I smiled, pretty glad he was being so well-received. I can't help but think back to the first day I met him as he spoke out to the village.

Man, time sure has passed…

I gasped when I saw Sasuke-teme and his friends watching the ceremony on a far-off rooftop. He noticed me noticing him and smirked at me. I could tell even from this distance.

"Shikamaru!" Ino and Sakura-chan's voices chimed from behind me. My heart felt like it was gonna jump out of my chest.

I whipped around, and there he was. My Shikamaru was standing there under the sun and being greeted by the others. He doesn't even know how much I've missed him. Sai arrived literally a few seconds after he did, meaning we were all together again.

While the others were engaged in brief conversation, Shikamaru made his way to me and greeted me with a hug. I stood there frozen for a moment before returning it, closing my eyes and burying my nose in his sweater.

"How are you, Naruto?" he asked when we parted.

I hid my emotions and gave him a smile. "Pretty good. And you?"

"Same. My mission took a bit longer than I thought, but I'm back in time for the ceremony. Just like I said." He said as he scratched his head.

"I'm glad you're back."

"Yeah, it's good to see you again." He singled me out, which was a relief to hear.

Nervously, I motioned for him to follow me to a quieter place. He obliged and we found a higher rooftop to sit on, hanging our feet over the side. I sighed and tried to hide my feelings, but he noticed anyway.

"You okay, Naruto?"

I breathed in quickly and avoided looking at him. "I'm holding up. I really miss you, ya know. I hate being apart…"

He didn't reply right away. But what he did do surprised me. Gently, he reached out and put his arm on my shoulders to pull me closer. "I know. But really, we're going to be apart for a long time. You've got your training and I've got mine… I want to get stronger, just like you."

I rested my head on his shoulder. I couldn't really reply, fearing I might get too emotional. This was supposed to be a happy time—a celebration. So instead of saying anything, I rested against him and just appreciated the gesture he'd made. At least he still wanted to be close to me.

After Kakashi-sensei's speech, there were many festive explosions of confetti and the crowd gave applause for longer than I thought a crowd could. I'd noticed that Sasuke and his friends were gone by then. And once the ceremony was over, we all made our way to Choji's place.

For most of the day, Shikamaru was more or less preoccupied with the others. Then we all got into a big conversation about the training he and I had planned. It really only served to depress me, since I wouldn't be able to see him or the others for such a long time.

Day soon became night and, after some drinks were served, the girls and Sai all agreed they'd be spending the night. Choji had a guest room and his living room could house a few people for an overnight stay as well.

Having had a drink or two, I felt fine to leave, but Shikamaru was my reason to stay. I pretended like I wasn't going to make it home tonight, and it worked like a charm.

When the girls slipped off bathe and Choji and Sai started to eat, Shikamaru asked me to his room.

Once there, he locked the door and sat down on the bed. I didn't know if he wanted to talk or just wanted me to sleep with him tonight, but either way, I turned off the light and let the moonlight from the balcony light the room. I sat down very close to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'm going to miss you, Shikamaru." Is the only thing I could bring myself to say. The thought of being away from him for so long even after the time we've already spent apart is too much for me.

He returned my hug, weaving his fingers in my short hair. "I'll miss you, too." He told me.

We stayed like that for a while. I could feel his heartbeat, and his breath as it left his nose as well. He eventually pulled me down on top of him and kissed my cheek. After that, he took my hand and guided it to the bulge in his pants. I got very hot as I gripped his dick through the soft material.

"Shikamaru… we shouldn't…"

Immediately, he released my hand and looked me in the eye. "I'm sorry. If you… if this makes you uncomfortable-"

"No…" I quickly stopped him because that wasn't the case, "It's just that we're… more or less not together…"

I could see disappointment in his eyes. "I know. But I was just thinking we might both regret it if we didn't spend a night together before being apart for so long. It'll be just us and our hands after tomorrow."

I straddled his stomach and considered what he'd said. But there really was no need for consideration at all. I wanted him so badly, and hell, this was more than enough proof that he wanted me and missed me.

"You're right." I told him, then moved a little further back so his bulge was pressed against my ass. "You're right." I whispered in his ear before kissing it. "You're always right, Shikamaru."

"Naruto," I could hear him grin, "You want to…?"

"I'll always want to with you." I replied, then connected our lips. His were a little dry tonight. As his tongue found its way into my mouth, he slipped his pants off and I felt his dick hit my ass immediately after he did.

I wasted no time in pulling my pants off, somewhat awkwardly since I was sitting on top of him. He smiled against my lips when he took hold of my dick and ran his thumb along the tip. He smeared the precum all over it before bringing his thumb up and sucking it clean.

This turned me on even more and I kissed him again, wrapping my arms around his neck to hold him tightly.

"Fuck, Naruto…" he exhaled, then coated his fingers with spit. I bit my lip and buried my face in his neck as he started to finger me, preparing me for his entry. "Alright, you ready?" he asked.

"Yea, fuck me, Shikamaru. Please…" I said, then bit his skin lightly.

After positioning himself, he squeezed his way inside me and exhaled when he'd fully entered. I smiled and kissed him, encouraging him to begin. He returned the kiss as he started moving. I helped him along by riding him, and I could tell this made him feel good because he moaned so loudly I thought the others might hear him down the hall.

"Shikamaru, don't let the others hear us." I whispered with a smile.

"I don't even care if they do." He said, then flipped me over onto my back and fucked me even harder. "Jack off for me."

I nodded and took hold of my cock with one hand, and used the other to hold Shikamaru's cheek as he plummeted into me over and over again. I timed my stroking with him, and blushed when I felt a bead of his sweat drip down onto my face. Shikamaru stopped for just a second to pull his shirt off and toss it to the floor, then continued his assault.

I slowed my stroking when I felt my climax approaching. I had to know he was going to cum first. Before I could tell him I was close to the edge, he spoke.

"Shit, Naruto… I'm gonna cum…!"

"Cum for me," I told him, then pulled him close and kissed him.

Shikamaru wrapped his arms around my torso tightly and sped up. I could actually feel him cumming inside me, his pace slowing and becoming less powerful as his orgasm washed over him. He moaned and whimpered and panted against me. I took this chance to stroke myself faster, somehow more turned on than ever at hearing the amazing sounds he made. I came with a pleasurable moan, shooting all over his stomach and chest.

Breathless, Shikamaru collapsed on top of me and I could hear him smile as he panted. I smiled as well, running my hands up his back and then running my fingers through moistened his hair.

"I love you." I exhaled.

Shikamaru looked up at me for a second, and then his eyes cast down to my chest.

"I'm sorry… I knew this wasn't…" I looked up at the ceiling and sighed, unable to finish.

"Naruto, it's okay." He said, and I looked down at him nervously. "I'm glad you still have feelings for me despite everything that's happened. I still love you. I feel like I always will."

His reassuring words hung in the air for a moment before I bit my lip and felt my eyes start watering.

"Oh, I didn't mean to make you cry!" he continued.

"I'm not…!"

"I never meant to hurt you…"

I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I just let them fall. I sniffled and sighed before replying, "It's fine. I just wish we'd had more time together, ya know…"

"We just may, someday." Shikamaru said before he rolled off me and then wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.

I buried my face in the space between his chest and the sheets. After clasping my hands on his bicep, I told him good night. I couldn't bring myself to say anything else. I could only lay here with him and appreciate that he hasn't lost his love for me. Tonight, we didn't get back together… Tomorrow, we'll split up for a long, long time.

Even so, we still love each other. That's enough solace for now, I guess.