A/N: Don't own anything!

WARNING: Contains slight Yaoi, slight swearing and smoking.

Chapter 1

Kaoru sucked in on the cigarette and felt the warm sensation fill his lungs. The smoke rose around him, filling the alley around him with a white mist of smoke.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Kaoru?" a smooth voice asked, making Kaoru jump slightly. He turned his head and looked into a face that was identical to his own.

"Hikaru?" he whispered.

"No it's Santa Claus, yes, of course it's me. You're standing in our backyard, idiot," Hikaru said angrily and crossed his arms over the chest. "Do you have an explanation for me or should I just start guessing?"

Kaoru sighed deeply, letting the hand with the cigarette fall to his side. Hikaru had no right to command him around. He had hurt him so deeply that he might never recover... and he didn't even know it. But regardless he didn't want to hurt his twin.

"It's not like you think-"

"It better not be, because what I see is my baby brother smoking a cancer-stick and if I am not mistaken, that is a empty bottle of alcohol on the ground, so please, tell me that it is not like I think," Hikaru said, his voice struggling to keep calm.

Kaoru opened his mouth, but closed it when he didn't have a good enough explanation. By the movement Hikaru let out a pained moan and flung both hands through his spikes.

"What the hell, Kaoru!" he spat and had to turn around to gather himself. "I'm gone one weekend and you basically fall apart, what the fuck!"

One hell of a weekend.

"I'm sorry," Kaoru mumbled and put the cigarette to his lips again and inhaled. He didn't want to upset Hikaru, not at all, but it helped him calm down. The warm sensation of smoke elope his lungs made all worries disappear in that one moment.

He closed his eyes, taking in all the warmth the cigarette provided.

Well, he did, until it was yanked out of his fingers and thrown on the ground.

"STOP IT!" Hikaru snarled and stepped on the cigarette twice to make sure it was crushed into the ground. Kaoru sighed again; he had made his brother sad. Even though Hikaru looked more furious than sad, Kaoru could see right though him, he had always been able to.

He twin had been able to look through him. Once.

Hikaru crushed his brother into a hug. Kaoru gasped out a little by the sudden yank, but let his brother hold him. He could hear Hikaru's frustrated pants by his ear and felt his heartbeat go way too fast to be healthy.

"Don't smoke, don't drink, don't ever be so reckless, I can't bear it Kaoru," Hikaru pleaded weakly. Kaoru huffed.

"You smoked once too, you drink, you left me a whole weekend to be with Haruhi," he tried to sound passive, but the hurt and pain could easily be heard in his words.

Hikaru pulled him away a little bit. "That's what this is about? Me having a girlfriend?"

Yes! Give the boy a price!

"Forget it," Kaoru spat and turned to leave, but Hikaru grabbed his wrist in a quick movement.

"No, answer me!" he begged. Kaoru winced and struggled to get free, but Hikaru was stronger at the moment and Kaoru's attempt to get away was half-hearted. "I'll break up with her for you, you know that. I thought you were happy for me, but- but if… but if she comes between us, I'll end this. Kaoru you know I will. Just tell me what to do-"

"Shut up! You're being stupid!" Kaoru exclaimed. How could Hikaru be so dumb? Of course she came between them! How could she not? She had taken all his time with Hikaru and worse… they had started living together, his bed had never been so cold and empty as it was now.

He hated Haruhi, but he loved Hikaru. Haruhi made Hikaru happy, and ergo he couldn't hurt him, by breaking them apart. It was so cruel.

He hadn't been able to bear the loneliness of losing his only brother, so he had started drinking. First a little bit in secret, but then a little more and a little more. And when Hikaru left on a weekend-trip with Haruhi, he had started smoking. First day it was just a single one… then three… then a whole packet. How could Hikaru be so blind to this? He knew nothing! The anger filled Kaoru slowly and he tensed his whole body.

"Just shut up, Hikaru," Kaoru whispered again and fought back the tears. He didn't know how he had any left, he had cried so many already.

Hikaru didn't let go, just stared at Kaoru with stunned eyes.

"Leave me alone," Kaoru begged, his legs threatening to collapse under him.

"Kao-"

"Leave me alone, please," Kaoru tried to yell, but it just turned into a whiny sobbing mess. He couldn't even struggle when Hikaru pulled him back, so they were facing each other and pressed his mouth gently toward his lips.

The tears fell.

His brother hadn't kissed him for so long, not like this. He knew he shouldn't do this, but he was just so lonely. He leaned into the kiss with a small sob and wrapped his arms around his twin's neck.

Hikaru pulled away slightly to say. "You stink like an ashtray." Before he continued the kiss. Kaoru's lips parted and it only took Hikaru seconds to let his tongue out.

How he had missed this. His twin knew just what he wanted, when he wanted.

Hikaru's smooth tongue caressed his own and Kaoru almost lost balance by the ecstasy of his kiss. How could Hikaru's kiss give him more pleasure than a million cigarettes? It was just weird.

Without breaking their kiss, Hikaru started walking Kaoru backwards and with the trust of a brother he followed, without even opening his eyes.

He winced slightly when he hit his back against the hard stonewall behind him. Hikaru pulled away, panting just as excited as he.

"Sorry, did it hurt?" he asked lovingly. Kaoru shook his head. Now Hikaru recognized the tears and his face turned panicking. "Kao, what's wrong? You're crying," he put both palms on Kaoru's cheeks. "Did I hurt you? Don't you want me to kiss you? Damn it, why don't I know what you want? I don't know what you're thinking anymore, please- please, tell me what you want."

Kaoru lowered his head, making Hikaru sigh.

"Talk to me, please. You always talked too much before, especially in bed," his voice was teasingly at the end, making Kaoru shudder in excitement.

"Hikaru, you- we can't, you have a girlf- girlfri- … you have Haruhi," he couldn't make himself say the word, "girlfriend", it hurt too much.

"I told you," Hikaru said and forced Kaoru up against the wall again, his body pressed against his. "I would break up with her for you, it's just a temporary state, besides," he kissed Kaoru on the tip of his nose. "You were the one who told me to "go for it," remember?"

He did remember. It had seemed so much smarter then. Breaking their walls, see other people. Not anymore.

"Just say the words, Kaoru," Hikaru whispered close to his ear. "I will end our relationship for you."

Kaoru hesitated. Most of all he wanted to yell, "YES! Fuck, yes! End it! Throw her out the window and sleep with me again!", but he heard the edge of sadness in Hikaru's voice and stopped himself. Hikaru loved him, but he loved Haruhi too – if not more. How could he take her away from him? He wouldn't- no, that's wrong – he couldn't.

No matter how much it hurts.

"No, she's probably waiting for you,"

As if planned out, Haruhi's voice broke through the air, making Hikaru blink twice in surprise.

"Hikaru, are you out here?" she called. He turned his head after the voice.

"Y-yes, I'm here," he stuttered back and stepped a step away from Kaoru. Kaoru forced a smile on his lips, but it must not have been very convincing, because Hikaru immediately frowned in worry.

"There you are," Haruhi said with a smile, appearing from around the corner. "I just wanted- hey, what are all these smokes?" she asked stunned and looked around the ground – Kaoru's personal ashtray.

Hikaru's eyes brightened up when she showed, and it was not something Kaoru missed.

Hikaru was about to open his mouth to cover over him, but he hurried to answer before Hikaru got a chance.

"I took up smoking," The younger brother whispered and stepped around Hikaru to face her. Haruhi's face had turned into a worried expression.

"Kaoru, that's horrible, I just made your brother stop that," she complained, gesturing to the cigarettes, but Kaoru just shrugged in apology.

"He stops today!" Hikaru's palm fell determined on Kaoru's shoulders, making him wince again. "Right Kao?"

All Kaoru did was nod and look down.

"That's nice," she smiled to Kaoru, before turning to Hikaru. "Ready to go, Hika?"

Kaoru's eyes turned red in anger when she used the nickname. That was his nickname. He called him "Hika" and Hikaru called him "Kao", that was how it had always been. How dared she ruin it?

"Um… I guess," Hikaru answered and looked at Kaoru one last time, but his twin's expression had turned blank.

"It was… pleasant, seeing you both," Kaoru said, giving them an unconvincing smile and reached down his pocket for another cigarette.

Hikaru caught his tone and frowned, but Haruhi just smiled and grabbed Hikaru's hand.

"Nice seeing you too, Kaoru. Are you coming, Hika?" she asked and Kaoru's fists clenched around the pack of cigarettes by the nickname.

"Y-yes," he said flustered and let her drag him along, but halfway he looked back. "Sure you're okay, Kao?"

"Peachy." Kaoru said with a small voice and turned to leave.

"Just leave him alone, Hika," Haruhi whispered and that was when Kaoru snapped. He twirled around on his heel and yelled with all the air he had left in his lungs.

"DON'T CALL HIM THAT!"

Both Haruhi and Hikaru jumped a little in surprise and put on matching expressions of shock.

"K-Kao- What the hell?" Hikaru whispered stunned.

Kaoru stared at his shocked expression for another moment before he lowered his head and ran the opposite way. Ran. Ran, as fast as his legs would carry him.

"H-hey! Kaoru!" Hikaru called, but the fragile teen ignored him and ran blindly down the street. Away from the house, from the brother he loved and the girl that had come between them.

He looked back and saw Hikaru look after him. His face confused, but he didn't run after him. Thank god, he would just see how weak he was at the minuet.

He rounded a corner and lost sight of his brother. Panting and sobbing he slowed down, walking in a rushing pace, but he was too exhausted to run anymore. The cigarettes were getting to him.

He stopped and fumbled with his cigarette packet. He needed the sensation. He needed it right now! He needed to forget and drift away.

He kept walking as he lighted the cigarette and sucked at it greedily. Making himself dizzy and sighed deeply as the smoke flooded out his slightly parted lips.

"Problems?" A cool voice asked. Kaoru moaned angrily that someone had pulled him out of his world so soon, but widen his eyes when he saw who paced beside him.

"Kyouya?" he spat. "What are you doing here?"

"Those won't get you that far," he explained, ignoring his question, and gestured to the slim cigarette in his fingers.

Kaoru frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I heard about your brother," Kyouya told and to Kaoru's surprise he put his own cigarette to his lips, he looked professional too. He had no idea the shadow king smoked. "You most be pretty down to start smoking. You seem like the good one of the two of you - or used to be."

"Maybe," Kaoru said dismissing and focused on the tobacco in his mouth.

"I wanted to run away too, once," Kyouya told him. Kaoru scowled toward the tall teen. Was he trying to make him feel better or something? He would usually be ecstatic to find out more about the mysterious man, but today he was just too depressed to listen to others problems.

But Kyouya continued. "I started smoking and drinking too, but those things just don't help that much, am I right?"

"It is all I got, so it's fine for now-"

"I have something that does work," Kyouya said smugly and Kaoru suddenly turned curious, stopping in his tracks. Kyouya had something that could make him forget Hikaru. Something that could make him feel better in all this pain?

Kyouya seemed to feel the change in atmosphere, because he smiled.

"Interested?" He asked and Kaoru nodded.

"What is it?"

A/N: Can you guess what Kyouya's cure is? Hehe. ^^

Thank you for reading and please leave me a review if you want me to continue this idea. The next chapter might be a little more extreme and it will definitely contain more yaoi... so be prepared. xD But I won't continue if it's crappy, so please tell me your thoughts. : )

Review please. ^_^/