This if my first real one-shot :3 I'm kind of excited about it.

Warnings: Slight ooc, attempted suicide, Murder, torture, mental breakdowns, Blood, slight smut

In this story, I'm very sorry that Lovino, Antonio or any others are slightly ooc. I tried my best. ^^ That's all that matters, right? Hahah... NO.

I'll try to add all translations at the end, but If I forget any, please tell me and I will add them. I like constructive criticism and don't take it personally at all (unless your Korah) But compliments are nice as well.

Please review!

X X X X X

Lovino clutched his damp side, weakly crawling backwards. He shook his head, staring at his blood stained hands. The horror was knowing it wasn't only his blood coating his body...

He let out a small choke, losing all strength, and resting his head against the wall behind him. His eyes slipped shut, and he took shaky breaths, working up the courage to view the carnage before him.

He peeked an eye open, expecting to be back in Antonio's house, resting on the couch, while the tomato-bastard cooked some dish up in the kitchen, checking on Lovino every so often to tease him, blanket him in his strong but slender arms, and kiss him on the cheek. The Lovino would blush, deny it, and grumble profanities to himself.

Instead he was met with blood, pooling on the ground and sending the smell of death throughout the entire room.

"Fuck you!" Lovino cried out, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes.

A gleam flickered in the middle of the room. Lovino stared at it, his hands starting to tremble. Blood trickled over the edge of his fingers, spilling out onto the floor and adding to the mess.

Bloodied gleaming metal. The blade of a knife.

Lovino felt a sudden punch in his stomach, and he buried his face between his knees.

"Get down, you whore!" The man shouted, slapping Lovino across the face. The man dug out his knife, digging it into the sobbing and angry Italian's side.

Lovino's head started to spin, and he tried to focus his eye sight on anything. Then he realized how much blood he had lost.

Pain shot up his sighed, causing him to wobble and collapse on his side. His mind started to black out, and he closed his eyes, accepting his soon to come death.

X X X X

"Lovi... hold on! Y-you'll be fine!" A distressed voice entered Lovino's right ear and bounced around in his aching head. He was immediately sent back into a world of nightmares and terrors, only able to hear the muffled voices and beeps that echoed all around him.

"L-Lovi!" The familiar distressed voice rung in the room. Lovino's senses were blinded by a massive headache that gathered. A cold metal prodded his chest, sending a stinging throughout his entire body. It reminded him of the knife that had penetrated his skin, and he jerked away from it, wanting only to hide in his shell of darkness.

"Hold him down!" Someone barked out, sending chills through Lovino's entire body. He knew he should stop, stop resisting, but the memories that haunted him prevented his mind from functioning correctly, and he did all he could to avoid the pain of the real world.

A sharp stinging spread through his entire body, engulfing him in flames that burned like hell, forcing his headache to slightly die down but send him into eternal pain. He was suddenly unable to move, trapped in the darkness that had a different pain. It took on a shape of its own, creating a color that must have been other worldly. A picture of himself, withering away into the flames and his worthless body's ashes were the only reminder he had ever existed, another speck on this world of hurt and crime.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine." Lovino ignored the man, still stumbling. After leaving Antonio's house, he had slipped in the ice from the freezing weather, and fallen outside the grocery store. He was on his way home, but from the way his head was fogged, he was sure he had gotten lost at some point. The man gripped his shoulder, spinning him around. Lovino lashed out blindly, before being forced to the ground.

"Let me the hell up!" Lovino ordered, being dragged across the alley, rocks cutting his shirt to fragments and destroying the skin on his back. The click of a door handle, the crash of a van door, and he was thrown onto the cushiony seat in a car. The door slammed shut behind him, and he struggled to get a sense of things. The car rumbled around him, sending vibrations through his body. His head was dangerously close to giving out, letting his mind go to rest, and he pinched himself lightly, hoping to go back to reality. There was a faint screech of tires, and he tried to sit up, escape the forceful hands of this man, but he wasn't quick enough. He was torn from his perch, and dragged into a house, where he was rested on a wooden floor. He had been able to see properly at this point, and made out the shape of a man, sitting on a tattered and worn out couch, strings scattering the area around it. The small room had a dank smell to it, one of old food, spoiled meats... and blood.

X X X X X

"Fratello, please wake up soon~!" A familia- no that was Feliciano. It was his bubbly brother's soft voice, and his matching hands brushing over hid forehead. His fingernails nipped the ends of Lovino's hair, tugging slightly. Lovino's head still pounded, and he slipped open his eyes, glad for the warmth of his brother and someone he knew.

The odd room was all white, and to describe it in one word... fluffy. The walls were a soft white that let off a shine but still brightened up the room. There was a small white television propped on a desk, that was, as could of been guessed, white. The floors were the only thing that didn't pierce your eyes and burn at your subconscious mind, a dank cream tile with specks of brown littering the sparkling clean floors.

Feliciano's tired eyes lit up when he spotted the Italian's brown eyes, Feliciano's being a few shades lighter then his own. Lovino inspected his face, noting all the little details that were the same, his grin that seemed to always be in place, the man's scars from the bullies at grade school, and the sparkle that was always present in his round globes of hope. Then there were the differences, the bags that had collected under his eyes, the blood that seemed to have drowned from his face, and the frown marks that had worked their way onto the corners of his lips.

"..." Lovino couldn't talk, the effort seemed to take the strength of an elephant at this point, and he had nothing to say.

"Fratello~!" Feliciano lurched forward, embracing him tightly, soliciting a small squeak from the injured man. Lovino raised his arms to push his brother off, his stiff muscles protesting the entire way, but the deed was done for him. Lovino's eyes met hard blue ones, that matched with his skin tone perfectly, contrasting and complimenting to make the perfect harmony for the strong man's personality and bone structure.

"Feli, He's not strong enough for that yet." Ludwig informed him. Feliciano looked apologetic, and beamed at Lovino in return.

"I'm just happy you're awake!"

Lovino nodded, finally being able to work his head again. He glared the the German, working up a whole line of swears and insults, before he was attacked by another body. He expected them to be removed right away, but it felt different. It wasn't as desperate or needy, and not so full of hyperness. The embrace at the moment, had that hint of relief and sorrow, glee and love, excited by calming. It could only be...

"Get off me, tomato-bastard!" Lovino winced, the effort of yelling depriving his short amount of energy saved up. It rattled through his bones, sending any pain straight to his bandaged wound.

Lovino turned to glare at the Spaniard, who smiled innocently as he withdrew his arms.

"Lovi~ I'm so glad your awake, mi poco de tomate~!"

Lovino's face reddened, and he swiftly turned away, crossing his arms. Antonio laughed, working his arms around Lovino's forearms and gently pulling him closer. Lovino took notice, but didn't try to stop it, only thankful he was out of that world of horror.

"Lovi~" Antonio whispered softly in Lovino's ear. His voice had a tone of seriousness that set Lovino on edge. "What happened?" Lovino took a second to process it, still feeling the aftereffects of his blood loss and possible a concussion, as the scene came flooding back to him. His hands shot up to cover his mouth as he felt the guilt and pain come flooding back.

The man approached Lovino, kneeling next to him. Lovino stared up hatefully in return, but sure his eyes showed some hint of his terrified state by the way the man smirked.

"I'm not going to dirty you, if that's what your thinking." The man laughed, digging a knife out of his pocket and displaying it for Lovino to see. His eyes silently trailed down the sharp blade as he tracked the man's movements, unsure of why he was here.

The blade was suddenly thrust down, penetrating the soft skin in Lovino's leg, but only just cutting the skin and not causing to serious of damage. Lovino choked out a sound between a sob and a gasp, before the knife was promptly removed from his skin.

"I'm a sick sick person... that's why I need to satisfy my needs!" The man gently grazed the skin of Lovino's stomach, pulling his shirt up to bunch around Lovino's ribs.

"Fuck you!" Tears rolled to the floor, wetting the dusty ground beneath him.

Lovino kicked, hitting the man in the jaw, blood spilling from Lovino's cuts, He scrambled to his feet, dizzy and wobbling, but able to stand, before being struck across the cheek. in the face.

"Get down, you whore!"

"Lovi~!" Antonio shouted once more, shaking the shaking man. Lovino had begun trembling as soon as he entered his nightmares, reliving the moments. Antonio had been forced to pin him to the bed when he started to lash out, striking Feliciano on the face. Feliciano sat in the corner, clutching his puffy and red eye, staring worriedly at his older brother. Lovino snapped awake, eyes full of surprise as he caught a glimpse of Antonio's worried face, and ceased his attacks at once.

Ludwig released his hold on Lovino's ankles, checking on Feliciano's eye.

"Should I take him to another doctor here?" Ludwig asked.

"You aren't taking him anywhere potato-bastard! What the hell happened anyways?" Lovino demanded. He noticed the Spaniard's grip that stayed on his wrists and he glared at the older man. Antonio let go, allowing Lovino to sit up, but stayed close.

"Lovi, how about we tell you later?" Antonio asked lightly.

"No!" He snapped in reply. "What happened?"

"This really isn't a time you should be worry-"

"You hit him." Ludwig said indifferently, leading a tearing Feliciano out of the room.

"I did it? What are you talking about, jackass? Bring him back here!" Lovino demanded, hopping to his feet. As soon as he had stood, he regretted it, as he tumbled to the ground. The wound in his leg throbbed, his limbs still aching and unable to support the sudden weight, but he was also dizzy.

"Lovi~!" Antonio reached for him, tumbling off the bed and landing next to him. He grit his teeth, grasping Lovino's wrists. Lovino tugged away, glaring at the Spaniard.

"I can do it myself!" Lovino unsteadily worked his way up into a sitting position, and used the bed to slightly stand propping himself on the edge of the mattress. Antonio rose uncertainty, plopping on the bed next to Lovino. He clutched his right wrist and held on, despite Lovino's short lived fight.

"I need to know what happened Lovi~" Lovino froze, then looked away.

"It's my business, and my business only."

"Lovi, tell me."

"Why the heck-"

"Please." Antonio looked straight in his eyes, completely being serious. Lovino shrunk back at the hard look he gave him, not knowing he could be so... cold. Lovino looked down, muttering under his breath, before he started to explain it.

The man tugged the knife out, throwing it on the floor and standing, certain the Italian was going to die. Lovino closed his eyes tightly, the pain spreading to his fingertips and back. He heard the footsteps walk to the couch, and the creak of springs before the television flickered on. Lovino's eyes slightly opened, and he spotted the discarded knife, silently groping for it. His fingertips grazed the hilt, and he kept his eyes trained on the cruel man, still trying to grip the knife. The man shifted his weight, looking like he was about to stand. Lovino trembled, knowing the man would kill him the first chance he got, and he stretched his arm farther. He was barely able to slide the knife closer. He batted the knife towards him, before he was actually close enough to get a grip on it. The man stood, scratching his head. Lovino got a grip on the knife, retreating his arm. He scrambled to his knees, as the man turned coming face to face with Lovino. Before the man could react, Lovino was on his feet, and thrust the knife upwards.

There was a sickening silence that followed, accompanied by a crack. The man slumped to the floor, the knife sticking out from his forehead. Lovino stared at the man's body, blood now trickling out from the wound. He fell backwards, landing on his rear. He took one look at the knife, and pulled it out, as blood suddenly came out in a steady stream. Lovino stared, horrified, the tears drying to his cheeks, at his own handiwork. Him, Lovino Vargas... had just killed someone.

Antonio watched Lovino tremble as he told him the story, feeling guilty. If he had just walked with Lovino to the grocery store instead of letting him go on his own... this wouldn't have happened. Lovino wouldn't be in pain.

Tears had begun to roll down Lovino's cheeks, and Antonio scooped him up into his arms.

"Lovi, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He whispered, stroking Lovino's matted hair.

"I'm fine! I can finish telling you!" Lovino snapped, but it came out as barely anything more then a whisper. Antonio kissed his forehead, one arm around Lovino's torso while the other was resting under his legs.

"We're back!" Feliciano bounced into the room, now wearing a small eye patch, before spotting Lovino clutching onto Antonio. Antonio looked up, giving Feliciano and Ludwig a reassuring smile, before he whispered in Lovino's ear. The Italian hadn't even noticed the two others come in, and continued to clutch onto Antonio's shirt, crying softly as he recalled the horrors of it all. Antonio gently picked him up, settling him on the bed. Lovino opened his eyes as he was set down, Antonio sitting on the end of the bed, and he spotted Feliciano and Ludwig. He forced himself to stop crying, wiping the tears away and glaring at Ludwig, though his eyes still stung and the tears were building up and were dangerously close to spilling out.

"Now what happened to Feliciano."

"Lovi~... You were having a nightmare and you accidentally hit him." Lovino crossed his arms, glaring at nothing, and he slapped himself mentally. First he hurt Feliciano... who would he end up hurting next?

"We should go, Lovi~Let you get sleep." Antonio stood, bending across the bed and kissing him on the top of the head. Lovino blushed, staring the the covers between his knees. Feliciano followed Ludwig out, waving and calling Ludwig's name as he caught up with him. Lovino curled up to himself as he laid in the darkness alone, blinking. It was a very unpleasant feeling, and he was reminded of the fire that burned away at his body...

Sick of the emotions, he jumped out of bed, searching for his clothing. Unable to find it, he strolled out of the room, making a random left. The hallway was slightly darkened, and all the nurses were checking in on their patients.

Lovino turned right when he got to the end of the hall, before hearing loud talking behind him.

"My patient is gone!" A woman screamed behind him.

"What?" Another nurse asked, slightly irritated.

"H-he was here a second ago! I was coming to check in on him, but he had visitors. I-I didn't want to interrupt them! Cosa posso fare? Se n'è andato! E se si fa male ... o peggio, cosa. Se mi licenziato?" The nurse that had come to help grabbed her shoulder, stopping the panicking woman.

"We will find him. He's mentally unstable, right? He probably just wanted fresh air." Other female and male nurses and doctors had gathered outside to see the commotion

"Okay guys!" The biggest nurse yelled, clapping her hands. "We have a missing patient! His name is Lovino Vargas and he has a curl on top of his head! We need to find him! Bring him back to me once you have found him!" The people nodded, before taking off in different directions. Lovino chewed on his lower lip, knowing that people were coming to get him. It was better to just turn himself in now...

Before he knew what he was doing, he had spun on his heels as the burly nurse had started walking his way. He charged down the hallway, throwing open the metal door at the end of the hall. He quietly shut it, and leaned against the door, listening for footsteps. After hearing none, he turned, glancing around him and stopping cold. He was in the mortuary.

X X X X X

He forced himself to walk through, all the dead bodies being covered, and shivered at how cold it was. The breeze had that slight sting to it, and he wrapped himself as far in on himself as he could go. The air had the vague smell of rotting flesh, but the refrigeration kept the bodies in good shape. Lovino's foot caught on a piece of cloth, and he fell backwards, taking it with him. He recovered quickly, about to throw the cover back on when he noticed the man's face... specifically the slit in his forehead.

Lovino stared, dropping the tarp. He wasn't able to move his body as his knees trembled.

One thought kept replaying.

'I took his life...'

'I killed this man...'

'It's all my fault...'

Lovino sunk to his knees, staring at the man's body.

'I killed this man...'

He stared at his hands, the pain of the knife entering his body, the terror, the blood... It was all fresh in his mind. Lovino's shivering body slowly tipped to the floor, and he held his knees close to his chest.

'I took his life...'

The pain spread through his body, and the feeling of desperation echoed through his entire being.

'It's all my fault...' Lovino closed his eyes, not caring if he was every found. Too late. The door slammed open, before he was spotted. Someone bent by his side, feeling his forehead, and called out to the others. The woman whispered gentle words in his ears. He kept his eyes shut, not wanting to see any of this horrible place anymore.

'It's all my fuckin' fault...'

Lovino's eyes snapped open, awaking from another night of terrors. He peered at the fluffy room, trying to sit up, before he remembered his wrists were bound to the bed. He pulled at the ,thick fabric, starting to undo the black straps that connected him.

"Lovi~" Lovino flipped his head, spotting a grinning but obviously saddened Antonio. The Spaniard's hands reached forward, gently brushing hair from Lovino's eyes.

"Mr. Carriedo? May I speak to you." A nurse has popped in, giving on look at the pissed off Italian. "...Outside." Antonio nodded, kissing Lovino's forehead and following the woman outside the door. Lovino set to work on his binds, loosening them slightly with his teeth. He looped his fingers around to undo the rest of the right bind, then set to work on the left. He easily pulled that one off, then sat up, rubbing his red and aching wrists. Antonio entered the room, waving goodbye to the nurse, before spotting Lovino. He stopped, shaking his head and laughing.

"What's so funny?" Lovino demanded.

"You. You're so cute, Lovi~" Lovino blushed, and continued to rub his wrists. Antonio grabbed both of his hands, stopping him, before leaning over to kiss him. Lovino let his eyes flutter shut, and his fingers intertwined with Antonio's. He pulled away, flushing thoroughly, and crossed his arms.

"Lovi... They said they want to put you in a mental facility." Lovino looked up, eyes wide, before he scowled.

"I'm not crazy!" Lovino shouted.

"I know your not Lovi, but because of what happened with the man, you've been pronounced mentally unstable. It would just be for a few days so they can help you." Lovino shook his head grabbing the sheets.

"I won't go."

"Lovi~"

"No!"

"I don't want to argue with the doctor's."

"Go to hell."

"You still have murder charges, Lovi~" Lovino looked out the window, releasing the crinkled fabric beneath him.

"What's the other option?"

"Jail for 2 months." Lovino nodded.

"Or?"

Antonio blinked. "Or?"

"There's always another option."

Antonio shifted on the bed, pulling his feet up on the bed. "The other option would be pills...But you're not going to chose that, right Lovi~?"

Lovino didn't respond, and continued staring at his hands.

"Lovi~?" Lovino scowled, looking at Antonio. "Is something wrong? You are going to chose the therapy, right?"

"Does it matter at the moment, jackass?"

Antonio shook his head, grinning at the Italian.

"You should probably get your binds back on, if you don't want them to strap you fully to the bed." Antonio laughed. Lovino grumbled, before sliding down and working on the left strap. When he had finished, Antonio did the right one. He pecked his lover on the cheek, before opening the door to leave.

"I'll be back tomorrow, mi rubor tomate" Lovino didn't know what it meant, but he had a feeling he would have to hit the asino at a later time.

"Lovino! Are you alright?" A sweet voice called into the room, before Tino entered, smiling warmly. He was wearing his white dress that went mid-thigh, and had a small white hat on with a red cross in the front. For the past week Lovino had been here, Tino had been his nurse, and they had become more or less friends, though Lovino would never admit or show he liked the Finnish man.

Lovino only nodded, leaning back to lay down in the bed. Tino's smile fell slightly, and he started twiddling his thumbs.

"Did you here the news?" Tino asked. "About your treatments."

"I don't see what the hell is wrong that I need a fuckin' treatment..." Lovino muttered.

"Have you decided what you're going to do?" Lovino sighed, nodding.

"And it is?" Tino asked, curious to see what he would have chosen.

"The last option... I'll take the stupid pills."

X X X X

Lovino huddled closer to Antonio, glad to be back home. Being able to sleep in the tomato smelling bed, using the familiar green sheets and lighter green blanket, it felt oddly... comforting.

Antonio chuckled, pulling Lovino closer in turn. There was no use denying it, but something about the Italian was off. He seemed more... tense.

"Lovi~ Did you work out a date with the therapist at the hospital."

His lover visible winced, before nodding into Antonio's chest. Warm hands fell to the curl atop Lovino's head, tugging it slightly. Lovino took in a sharp breath, glaring at the grinning man. Antonio kissed the strand of hair, before nibbling on it. Lovino closed his eyes, trembling as a sense of pleasure and pain spread through his body, mixing and causing him to feel glee... but also sightly aroused.

He blushed at the thought, scowling. Antonio smirked, pulling away to capture Lovino's lips in his own. He let out a slight moan before pulling away, slightly out of breath. The doorbell rang downstairs, and at first Lovino ignored it.

"I'll go check who it is, Lovi~!" Antonio sang, about to go downstairs. Lovino glanced at the clock on the bed stand, noticing it was already 12 pm, and hopped out of bed. He pushed past Antonio, knocking him into the wall.

"It's mine, jackass!" He shouted, heading downstairs. He threw open the door, meeting the surprised face of Tino who carried a pale pink box.

Lovino stepped out, shutting the door behind him.

"Lovino, I have your medication!" Tino answered happily. He opened the box pulling out a small vile of red capsules.

"These are the night tremors control pills. Take one every week at about the same time of day." He put them away, bringing out a second vile.

"These are for your mood. It's a new type of drug, actually; a mix between anti-depressants and mood balancers. It should help keep you from breakdowns." Tino stuffed the pills back in the box, handing it to Lovino.

"Lovi~ Who is it?" Antonio opened the door, spotting the two standing there. He stopped when he saw the box planted in Lovino's hands, eyeing it suspiciously.

"I came by to drop off Lovino's things for his treatment." Antonio nodded, a fake-smile plastered on his face.

'Why is it all in a box?' Lovino tucked it behind his back, pushing past the Spaniard. Tino frowned, turning to Antonio.

"Is everything all right with him?" He asked, cocking his head.

"I don't really know. Did he get all the papers he needed for the therapist?"

"Papers?"

"For his treatment? He's seeing the therapist, right?"

Tino cast his eyes to the floor.

"What was in the box, Tino?" Antonio asked, eyes narrowing.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Carriedo. Lovino is a legal adult and you are not his spouse, so I am not at liberty to tell." Tino turned on his heels, walking down the steps to get in his car. He stopped, turning with a happy smile on his face.

"You can ask him, though! I'm sure he'll tell you!" Tino thought once, then waved. "Have a nice day!" Antonio returned the gesture, before stepping inside the house.

"Lovi?" Antonio started up the stairs. "Lovi~" He turned the corner, finding the bathroom light on. He knocked lightly.

"Are you okay?" Lovino answered with a grunt. "Can I come in."

"No." Lovino said flatly. Antonio stood there, waving slightly, knocking once more.

"Do you want to talk about something, Lovi?" Silence. "Are you mad at me?" Silence once more. "Lovi-"

"Can I have any fuckin' peace?" Lovino shouted, tearing open the door. Antonio caught sight of something red sitting on the counter, before the door was thrown shut.

Antonio was shocked, and he backed up slowly, before walking into the room next door. He plopped on the bed, crossing his arms and resting them on and resting his knees. Lovino passed the room, not even glancing in, as he started downstairs. Antonio watched him go, deciding there was only one way to find out what was happening.

Lovino crept into the kitchen, stowing the medicine away in the broken drawer under the sink. He covered it with a kitchen towel, letting out a sigh and heading back upstairs.

X X X X

"Lovi~ Do you want anything to eat? I'm going to go order from the restaurant down the street."

Lovino looked up, shaking his head. Antonio had noticed differences since the man had come back from the hospital. He claimed to be seeing the therapist twice a week for an hour, and he would come home afterward, slightly irritated. Lovino also had dark bags under his eyes, accompanied by how thin he had become. And lastly, the usually calm Italian had started to become tired, but couldn't sleep. Tino had said it was best to let it play out, and had asked Lovino took come in for an appointment. When he came back, the man had stomped up to the bedroom, locking the door and refusing to come out.

"You sure? It's no trouble." Lovino closed his eyes, laying back against the edge of the couch. Antonio took that as a no, and decided to just go. He walked into the almost stain-less kitchen, grabbing the phone. Dialing in the number, he noticed it had stopped working, and checked the batteries.

"Hm..." He reached into the cabinet above the sink, brushing against the drawer. The front of the top one came off, and Antonio sighed. He was about to put the piece back on the drawer, since it came off...a lot, before noticing a towel in it.

'That's odd...' He though, pulling out the drawer, 'This must of been put in the wrong spot.' Two bottles fell out along with the dish towel, rattling to the floor. Antonio was taken aback, before picking them up and reading the labels.

"Lovi, what are these?" Antonio threw the bottles next to Lovino, who sat up, startled. He picked them up, the only blood that was in his face draining. He looked up, before scowling and tossing them on the floor.

"None of your business!" Lovino shouted, crossing his arms and laying down, refusing to talk to the Spaniard.

"Lovi~ It IS my business! How could you hurt yourself like this?" He stood next to the couch, staring down angrily. Lovino popped open an eye, feeling slightly intimidated. Antonio was taller and stronger then him after all.

"Piss off." Lovino pushed Antonio away, stomping towards the door. Antonio groped angrily at his wrist, pushing him towards the nearest wall.

Lovino gasped at the sudden pain that shot up his arm as it was twisted in an awkward position.

"Prendi il cazzo di dosso? Testa dicazzo!" Lovino spit. Antonio glared down at him, starting to tremble.

"I love you, Lovino." Lovino stopped struggling for a moment, caught of guard. Antonio never called him by his name.

"I've tried to make you happy... I've tried to keep your safe and don't you think for a single moment I haven't tried my hardest." Lovino was about to speak, but Antonio wanted to continue. "But... you take the stupid pills. Do you know what they do to you after a while? And the side effects? You're destroying yourself! If you don't want me to be there for you, and you want to slowly die, go on ahead!"

Antonio released Lovino's wrist, turning around and storming up to the room. Lovino stood there, dumbstruck, as the door slammed shut, shaking everything in the household. Lovino sunk to the floor, not taking his eyes off the door. Had Antonio really just... yelled at him? He looked so serious... that happy glimmer of hope being replaced with rage. Not only that, but he had given up on him.

"If thats the way you want it... I'll fuckin' leave!" Lovino shouted, throwing on his shoes and tearing outside, tears starting to stream down his face freely. He made a right on the sidewalk, pushing past a family. They stared after him, as he stumbled down the street.

Antonio heard Lovino's shouts, his eyes widening. He was about to run out, to grab the Italian, before the door downstairs slammed shut.

'H-He really left...'

X X X X X

Lovino sat on the bench at the park, his head resting in his palms. He had already been away from home for three days, and had been forced to sleep outside, not willing to go to Feliciano's house for help. He rested on the park bench again, curling in a ball.

"Ludwig, can we get churros?"

"Feli, we can't keep Antonio waiting." Lovino chose to ignore the voices, curling up farther into his fetal position. The recognition buzzed at the back of his mind, but he pushed the feeling farther away, only wanting to sleep this early in the morning.

"Is he okay?" the second man asked.

"Feliciano... we are running out of time." the obviously gruffer person replied.

"I just want to check if he's okay, ve~!" before Lovino could move, sensing it was him, a finger poked him in the cheek. He pulled the hoodie up over his face, ignoring the person. The finger poked him once more.

"Excuse me~ Are you hurt?" Feliciano asked. Lovino froze, sudden realization flooding in.

Lovino flipped over, not wanting to be spotted. The humiliation when that potato-sucker spotted Lovino alone, hungry, and sleeping outside...

He had just barely bitten back his anger and urge to kill Ludwig before Feliciano was swept away.

"There's Antonio, Feli. Leave the poor man alone." Feliciano's disappointed voice rang out, before it lightened up again and echoed across the park.

"Antonio!" He cheered. Lovino poked his head out, spotting his Lover laughing and walking towards a half-smiling Ludwig and Feliciano. As he got closer, Feliciano took off running, glomping Antonio who laughed and hugged back. He set the Italian down, his arm wrapping around Feliciano's shoulder. Lovino couldn't tear his eyes away as Antonio babbled excitedly, grinning and holding Feliciano a little to close for comfort.

'He already forgot about me...' Lovino's vision blurred and he shook his head, forcing himself not to cry. Why should he care that Antonio basically kicked him out? Why should he care that now he liked Feliciano...

The Spaniard suddenly leaned down, kissing Feliciano's forehead. The younger man didn't turn away, or blush, or anything of the sort. He just... smiled...

Lovino stood, his hood falling down, but he didn't noticed. He crossed the playground, heading to the house. Antonio had abandoned him for Feliciano... how was he supposed to just watch?

He entered the house, eyes vacant as he steered himself to the only place he could bear to be.

X X X X X

The drawer slid open easily, as always, and Lovino eyed the contents before picking out the item he felt suitable. He plucked it out, wondering how it felt so heavy in his hand. It glimmered as it passed the light, forcing Lovino to shudder. Tears refused to come out, as he was resigned to what he was about to do.

Lovino flipped the knife between his fingers, sighing.

'Antonio... you fuckin' bastard... I love you...' He placed the blade to his wrists, praying his silent goodbyes, face indifferent, before slowly pressing it into the skin.

"Lovi! What the hell are you doing?" Lovino pressed the knife farther, blood dribbling from his wrist. His hand holding the knife was seized, the knife being cast to the floor. Antonio fell to his knees on the floor next to Lovino, who closed his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks. Antonio stared at the blood falling from his wrists, before embracing the crying man, holding his head to his chest.

"Lovi, why would you do this?" Antonio whispered, petting Lovino's hair. Lovino shook his head, wrapping his arms, around Antonio.

"... I have no reason in hell to live..." Lovino whispered.

"You can't say that!"

"O-Of course I can... idiota... I killed someone... then l-lied to you... If I need pills to live, then w-what's the point? I'm n-not worth anything... You even left me for my stupid Fratello..." Lovino clutched further onto Antonio, not wanting the man's warmth to fade.

"What? Feliciano?" Lovino nodded into his chest, blushing slightly.

"Do you mean at the park today?" Lovino nodded again, tears still spilling onto the older man's shirt.

"I-I was just being friendly Lovi... I love you, and only you. That will never change. The only thing you'd accomplish by suicide is making everyone depressed!" Antonio half-laughed, holding the man closer. He pulled back slightly, reaching for Lovi's bloody wrist.

"We should get you to the hospital." Lovino silently nodded, withdrawing his wrists, not wanting Antonio to see the blood...

X X X X

"Is it the only way?" Antonio asked quietly. Tino nodded sadly, opening the door to the room. Lovino was lying in bed, silently sleeping at the moment.

"Does he know?"

"We told him before we told you. Doctor and patient confidentiality." Antonio looked down at his sleeping tomato. His wrist was bandaged along with a simple I.V. running up his arm. His chest silently rose and fell, a pattern that was hopefully never going to be broken.

Antonio caressed the sleeping man's cheek, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his forehead. Tino smiled warmly, standing.

"They will be here in the morning for him. Stay as long as you want." Antonio nodded as the nurse silently left the room, this time dressed in normal blue scrubs. Lovino stirred, his eyes slipping open.

"Lovi~ I'm happy your awake, my little tomato." Lovino ran an eye over him, covering his wrist under the blanket. Antonio noticed the slight gesture, his eyes softening.

"So you know what's going to happen tomorrow morning?" Lovino nodded, looking away. Antonio reached forward, clasping his lover's free hand. The italian's fingers tightened against his own, hands trembling.

"Lovi~ Don't be scared! It's only for 2 months!" Antonio beamed, the depressed tinge still gleaming in his eyes.

"I'm not scared!" Lovino insisted, before settling down. "I'm just gonna..."

"What was that?" Antonio asked, smirking.

"I'm just gonna..." Lovino was already flushing, looking like he wanted to crawl under a rock.

"Hm?"

"I-I'm just gonna miss you, dio dannazione!" Lovino cast his eyes aside, sure to find Antonio laughing. Instead, his head was pulled sideways, Antonio pulling him into a kiss. Lovino's hands tangled in Antonio's hair, trying to deepen the kiss as far as he could. Antonio gently prodded Lovino's bottom lip, gaining entrance to the others mouth, and tasting all the corners of his hot cavern, not leaving a spot untouched.

Lovino gently pulled away, catching his breath and panting, looking at Antonio with a blush plastered across his cheeks. Antonio pulled him forward, eager to get another kiss in before he had to leave.

X X X X X X

"Someone's going to hear us!"

"If you stop moaning they won't."

"F-fuck Antonio!"

"Do you want a nurse to spot us?"

"If you would s-stop touching m-me!"

"Ah, but you don't want me to... do you, pervertir mi lindo"

"Antonio ... fermarlo prima che qualcuno ci sorprende!" Lovino closed his eyes, letting a small moan escape his lips as his companion smirked from behind. A mop hit Lovino over the head and he rocked forward, causing Antonio to chuckle.

"This isn't a good idea!" Lovino whispered, hands pressed against the wall. His ass was close by the door, his outstretched body taking up most of the room. Antonio had one finger inserted into Lovino's puckered hole slowly working it in and out to get the man used to the feeling. Lovino rocked his hips with the rhythm, letting a small groan and profanity leave him mouth. Antonio inserted a second finger, scissoring it. Lovino trembled as the Tomato-bastard continued finger-fucking it. At this point it wasn't exactly pain, but it also wasn't comfortable. Antonio inserted the last finger, grinning when Lovino let an entire line of curses float into the air.

"A-Antonio..." Lovino moaned, his head bobbing up and down. Antonio took his fingers out, staring at the beauty before him. Lovino's face was deep red, but a cute frown was placed upon his face.

"You ready?" Antonio asked sweetly, hands running up and down Lovi's thighs. He nodded in reply, before being kissed by Antonio, who slowly worked him to the ground. They're bare bodies touched, sending shivers through both of their bodies. Lovino's pack was pressed against the floor as Antonio withdrew his lips.

"C-Can't I lay on my stomach?" Lovino asked, looking away.

"Then I'll miss all your tomato faces, Lovi~!" Antonio complained, before picking Lovino's legs up and putting them over his shoulders. He directed his already hardened member to Lovino's entrance pressing the tip in.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Lovino nodded, head laying on the ground. Antonio pushed in slightly, before thrusting in all the way, almost moaning at how tight Lovino's walls were.

"What the hell?" Lovino stage whispered, wanting to yell out at the feeling of pain... it was also mixed in with the feeling of pleasure, the feeling that made him want to grab onto Antonio's neck and demand he hurried up with the job.

"You said you were ready!" Antonio accused him, withdrawing slightly and pushing back in.

"Antonio!" Lovino said a little louder. Antonio clamped his mouth down on the 21 year old's mouth.

"Don't want anyone to see you like this, do you?" He asked, grinning, before thrusting back in.

It took effort, yelling, cursing, and a few painful slaps, but the two had finally gained a steady pulse, and Lovino had to wrap his arms around Antonio for support. At this point, his legs were tightening around the seme's back, holding on for dear life as he slammed into him countless times.

Suddenly, Lovino's vision turned white, his vision blurring and a warm heat spreading through his body.

"Right there..." He groaned, burying his head in the crook of Antonio's neck.

"Here?" Antonio asked, playfully teasing the spot. Lovino bit the exposed skin, turning it red.

"You know where!" Lovino hissed.

"Fine, fine." Antonio hit the spot once more, sending indescribable amounts of wants and fulfillment through his body.

"A-Antonio... I think I'm going to-"

"Me too, Lovi." Antonio whispered, ramming into him twice more. A heat that had begun building up in Lovino's stomach dripped out, his cum getting on their bare chests. Antonio thrust in before Lovino's walls muscles tightened around his cock, sending him over the edge. He came inside the Italian, before Lovino slightly collapsed on him. To tired to hold himself up, Antonio laid on the side, pulling out of Lovino. He pulled Lovino closer to him, snuggling up with the man.

"Antonio..."

"Hm?"

"I don't want to go tomorrow..."

"I don't want you to leave either, Lovi, but what can you do?" Lovino nodded, breathing slowing slightly.

"You can't fall asleep yet, mi amour~ We have to get you back to your room!"

"I'd rather stay here... and..." He trailed off, lightly snoring before he could finish. Antonio smirked, feeling tired himself, and stood cleaning himself off and wiping down the the Italian, dressing him in the hospital gown. Lovino's bandaged wrist was laying under his head, and Antonio was reminded of what would happen in a couple hours...

Lovino would go to the mental hospital for two months.

X X X X X

Antonio's fingers drummed on the desk in the lobby of the hospital. He glanced at the time. Only 5 more minutes til 10. Five more minutes.

"Sir, will you finish filling the forms out please?" the spaced out man looked up, giving the woman a dazzling smile.

"Of course. Mi dispiace... I'm just eager." He continued to write in information he didn't give a crap about, before reaching the bottom of the page and anxiously handing it to the woman. She scanned over it, putting it in the bottom drawer.

"Very well, Mr. Carriedo. Mr. Vargas will be out in a second." Antonio nodded, tapping the top of the desk impatiently as the woman went to talk to another customer. He glanced at the clock. It was already a minute past 10. Where the heck was he-?

"Antonio?" his thoughts were broken and he turned anxiously to his right, spotting a scowling and blushing man. Antonio broke into a wide smile, expecting Lovino to stand there as the Spaniard held him and kissed him all over. Instead, Lovino's frown turned to a normal expression, before the corners tilted up into a grin. Antonio was taken by surprise, before scooping Lovino up, snuggling into the Italian's chest. Lovino laughed from above, before pulling Antonio's chin upwards and kissing him, hands wrapping eagerly around his neck.

"Oh god I've missed you." he whispered into the Spaniards hair.

"I've missed you too, Lovi~" Antonio gushed, holding him closer.

"I-I love you..." Lovino said, almost silently, but not quietly enough that Antonio couldn't even hear.

"I love you too, mi tomate. More then you could ever know."

I'm sorry for two things.

1) the ending sucked

2) My writing sucks

3) The translations may be wrong.

4)For saying I only had two

Thanks for reading!

Spanish Translations

Mi Tomate- My tomato

Mi dispiace- I'm sorry

Mi Rubor Tomate- My blushing tomato

Italian translations

Cosa posso fare? Se n'è andato! E se si fa male ... o peggio, cosa. Se mi licenziato- What do I do? What if he gets hurt... or worse. What If I get fired?

dio dannazione- god dammit

fermarlo prima che qualcuno ci sorprende- stop it before someone finds us

Fratello- Brother

Bastardo- Bastard

Idiota- Idiot

Prendi il cazzo di dosso? Testa dicazzo- Get the fuck off! What the hell

Asino- Ass