DISCLAIMER: All canon characters and the Wizarding World belong to J K Rowling. Everything else belongs to me.

WARNINGS: OOC!Draco, Tormented!Ron, Female!Harry, Implied Draco/Harry, Implied ... um, other stuff, Malfoy madness.

A/N: Hello! Or, um, what's an appropriate greeting from someone that's making a comeback after five years? ^^;

I'm sorry for my long hiatus. It was something that couldn't be helped. But yeah, I'm finally bringing this fic back like I'd mentioned earlier on my profile. Head on over there for a more detailed note on my plans for the fics I left on this site, including a short explanation for my inactivity.

That aside, I'm really pumped to finally return to this story :D I should warn you that my writing style is probably a bit different from earlier, considering how long it has been. But I hope you enjoy it, dear readers! :)

PART TWO: A Flaw in the Madness

'What the bloody hell is wrong with Malfoy?'

Following the mind-boggling incidents of that day's Charms class, that question had been their topic of conversation all throughout dinner and even later while doing - or attempting to do - homework in their favourite armchairs by the Gryffindor Common Room fire. Hermione had atypically already completed her work three days ago, but absorbed as she was in the mystery that was Draco Malfoy, even she did not nag Harry and Ron to focus on their Transfiguration essays as they came out with idea after idea as to why Malfoy had ... well, acted the way he had done.

'Reckon he hit his head somewhere today?' Harry finally joked with a small chuckle as she dropped her quill on top of her empty parchment, giving up all pretence of getting any work done that night.

Ron snorted and leaned back in his armchair. 'Mate, I've always thought he was dropped too many times on his head as a baby. One more bump would've made no difference.'

They sniggered loudly while Hermione, lips twitching, nudged Ron's arm in disapproval.

'I guess we can't know,' Hermione said with a smile that faded into a thoughtful frown. 'But I doubt he would've done that for no reason. It was too weird.'

'Maybe he was bored?' suggested Ron hopefully, scratching his head. 'You-Kno - I mean, Voldemort's gone and all the excitement has died down since it's been nearly a year -'

'And I like it that way,' interrupted Harry with a roll of her eyes.

' - and even Malfoy and the other Slytherins who came back seem like they've adjusted back to normal life,' Ron continued without missing a beat. 'So maybe he thought it'd be fun to mess with my head -'

'Because he was bored?' Hermione finished dryly. 'Bit ridiculous, don't you think?'

'I'm just saying.' Ron raised his hands defensively. 'I mean, why else would he act all chummy?'

That made Harry look up. 'About that ... you know that bloke Malfoy hangs around with now?'

'Zabini?' said Hermione and Ron nodded.

'Yeah, he was next to me in Charms and I asked what Malfoy was up to and ...' Harry paused, frowning. 'He said maybe Malfoy was trying to be nice?'

There was silence for several seconds. Ron and Hermione were both sporting identical sceptical expressions.

'Nice?' Hermione repeated doubtfully.

'Malfoy?' Ron raised an eyebrow slowly. 'Being nice? To me?'

Harry and Ron gazed at each other for a long moment. Then,

'Nah.'

'Nope. Bored, definitely.'

Hermione just rolled her eyes.

That was how the topic was finally closed and a nonverbal agreement reached that Malfoy's apparent madness had probably been restricted only to that day and normalcy would resume the next. They exchanged cheerful goodnights as they separated to the girls' and boys' dormitories for bed, and none of them brought up the topic of the Slytherin as they headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning.

It was only after Harry had settled at the Gryffindor table across Ron and Hermione, and was reaching for a platter of toast that she caught sight of something that froze her in her seat. Her eyes widened, lips parting.

Hermione was the first to notice her reaction. 'Harry? What is it?' she asked, turning round to look as well. Ron glanced up from his scrambled eggs and sausages.

'Ron,' Harry breathed in a low voice, not looking away. 'I think ... Malfoy is a bit more bored than we thought.'

Draco had the distinct feeling that Blaise was beginning to question the wisdom of his befriending-Potter's-friend plan when the latter stopped dead in their dormitory doorway, staring with raised eyebrows at Draco sitting cross-legged on his bed and pouring over his timetable.

It was right after dinner and Draco's mind was already a whirlwind of half-formed ideas and what-ifs (and some lingering resentment towards Weasley's Mood-Maker Charm earlier that day with its mortifying side-effects - he still could not believe that he had clung to Weasel Bee and sobbed all over him and begged him not to break his heart, sweet Merlin! - but that had not put Draco off the be-civil-to-Weasel train yet). He was looking forward to how else he could approach the Gryffindor tomorrow, but his face darkened as he scanned Tuesday's column.

'I don't have any classes with Weasley and Potter tomorrow,' he complained, disappointment leaking into his tone. 'Arithmancy in the morning, though; Granger will be there, but what use is that? I have to wait until the day after - we have Transfiguration.'

'You know, I'm beginning to worry,' Blaise commented as he shrugged out of his robes and flopped down onto Theodore Nott's empty four-poster next to Draco's.

'No, we can make up for tomorrow. It's double Transfiguration and Charms on Wednesday. Brilliant!'

Blaise rolled his eyes. 'Not about you and your chances of wooing Hariah Potter, Draco. I'm worried about Weasley.'

Draco looked up, eyebrow raised.

'With your aggressive approaches? He might swoon. Literally.' Blaise looked like he was biting back a smile. 'Have some mercy on the poor fellow.'

The blond snorted and returned to his timetable. 'He'd deserve it, what with that Mood-Maker he cast on me today. I was so humiliated.'

'About as humiliated as he was by the Mood-Maker you cast on him, I don't doubt,' his friend drawled.

'Besides, the looks on his and Potter's faces are so worth it,' Draco continued as if he did not hear, enthusiasm rushing back into his voice. Falling back onto his pillow, he grinned across at Blaise.

'It was fairly amusing,' Blaise conceded with a chuckle. 'Potter, in particular. She asked me during Charms whether you had, well ...' He snickered, '... any malicious intentions towards her best friend.'

Draco's grin fell. 'What?! I stuck by Weasley and was civil to him -'

Blaise gave a much undignified snort.

'- and even tried to make him laugh -'

Blaise actually cackled this time, partly in amusement, partly in disbelief.

'- and Potter thought I was trying to be malicious?!' He was sitting up on his bed now, face full of righteous indignation. 'Well, I never -'

Immediately sensing an impending Rant that Blaise was in no mood to indulge in, he hastily interjected, 'It's understandable that she's a bit shocked, of course. It's her first time seeing you making any attempts to, er, be civil to Ron Weasley, after all. Just ... keep being friendly to him, Draco, and soon she'll realise there is more to it than she thinks.'

He breathed a sigh of relief when Draco visibly calmed down as he pondered Blaise' advice. When the peaceful silence continued, he smiled and stood up to prepare for bed.

Draco, however, was not entirely satisfied yet. He remained as he was, thinking. He knew their plan was still in its early stages, but that Hariah Potter was still not giving him the benefit of the doubt was bothering him. He could not afford to waste the whole day tomorrow away from Potter - and Weasley - while they settle back into normal routine under the misguided notion that nothing had changed between them and Draco Malfoy.

Oh no, he was not going to let that happen.

Which was why when they entered the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning, Draco stalked right past the Slytherin table with single-minded purpose. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Blaise falter and then slowly follow him like Draco had known he would. Satisfied, he strode past the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, heading directly towards the Gryffindor table. Or more accurately, towards a certain pair of Gryffindors, whose presence he had sought immediately upon entering the Hall.

His lips curled into a smirk when he saw his approach had clearly been noticed. It widened even more when he saw the expressions on their faces.

Oh yes, this dally was going to be quite entertaining.

Harry was aware of her jaw slackening - like Ron - as she watched Malfoy's cocksure approach with mounting disbelief. The three of them were not the only ones to have noticed him, either. Heads were turning down the adjacent tables of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff as students realised there was an obtruder in their midst. It was rare enough for a Slytherin to wander over, but that Slytherin being Draco Malfoy of all people - silence, infused with curious whispers, followed in his wake.

The whispers broke out into excited muttering as Malfoy, with supreme indifference to the attention he was drawing, unceremoniously planted himself right between Ron and Hermione. Ignoring the latter, who had been forced to hastily scoot aside to make room for him, Malfoy turned to the incredulous person on his right and cheerfully said,

'Good morning, Ron. Feeling well today?'

Nobody replied. Ron looked lost for words, Hermione was trying to peer over Malfoy's shoulder in concern, and Harry - she had abruptly realised that Malfoy was not the only Slytherin to have joined them. Someone settled into the empty spot to her left and she looked round distractedly only to be met with the friendly smile of her unexpected Charms partner from yesterday.

She was beginning to sense a pattern here.

'Hello,' Blaise Zabini greeted her pleasantly, as if he had been joining Harry for meals every day. Looking quite unconcerned with the situation he and Malfoy had placed the three Gryffindors in, he reached past Harry - who had to lean back uncomfortably - for a pot of tea.

Meanwhile, Malfoy had yet to divert his focus from Ron, who looked flummoxed. When there was no reply forthcoming, Malfoy smirked and grabbed a piece of toast, saying airily,

'You know that silence equals yes? So, I take it that you are doing well -'

'What the bloody hell are you doing here, Malfoy?' Ron burst out, face darkening into a suspicious frown as he got over his initial disbelief.

'It's breakfast time, what do you think?' Malfoy shrugged as he took another bite of his toast, but his eyes were gleaming with glee.

'I think Ron means, why are you having breakfast here, with us?' Harry finally spoke up, watching the blond with narrowed eyes. She was about to outright ask why he had been approaching them at all since the end of Potions yesterday, but Malfoy spoke first,

'Flitwick said we'll be practising the Mood-Maker Charm all week.' He threw a disarmingly smug grin at Ron. 'And he did mention we'd improve best if we stuck with the same partner.'

Ron's eyes were like saucers. 'He did not say that!' he hissed.

'Of course, he did, were you not listening?' returned Malfoy flippantly.

'And practising the Mood-Maker involves eating breakfast with your partner? And that, too, on a day without Charms?' said Harry sardonically, folding her arms on the table. Beside her, Zabini chuckled under his breath as he sipped his tea.

'A partnership is better off with more positive interaction, wouldn't you agree?' Malfoy grinned light-heartedly at said partner as he finished off his toast.

Ron's frown had deepened and the sarcasm in his voice matched Harry's as he growled, 'You put on this stupid dramatic spectacle just to be partners during Charms?' He waved his arm in a gesture encompassing the Great Hall.

A quick glance showed Harry that the majority of the student body was still looking their way, whispering among themselves. The Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs in their vicinity were clearly listening in on their strange conversation, while several teachers were eyeing them, too, no doubt on standby for a possible Gryffindor-Slytherin stand-off. Harry thought Professor McGonagall looked even sterner than usual, though she had made no move to leave the Headmistress' seat. Yet.

'Pretty much,' Malfoy answered Ron without bothering to look around himself.

'I'm not buying that crap. Why the bloody hell are you actually here?'

'I just said, didn't I? Go clean out your ears, Wea -' Malfoy paused and then took a deep breath.

'Well, I never said I wanted to be your partner,' snapped Ron, hands balling into fists. Harry saw that his ears were as red as his hair now.

'Too bad. We're stuck together now, aren't we?'

'Piss off! I'm not partnering with you again.'

Malfoy chuckled low in his throat, his grey eyes glinting. 'Oh, but I'm not done with you yet, Ron,' he intoned in a voice full of promise, and silence fell over the three Gryffindors at once.

Zabini choked on his tea.

With a supreme smirk, Malfoy swiped a sausage off Ron's plate and stood up to leave.

'What the hell are you up to, Malfoy?' asked Ron. His voice was lower and laced with confusion as he watched the two Slytherins leave the benches. 'All that crap since yesterday - what are you really after?'

His answer was an infuriating grin thrown over a shoulder, accompanied with the goading words, 'Oh, I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun thinking on that. See you in class, partner.'

With that, Malfoy sauntered away, nibbling at the stolen sausage and simply exuding self-satisfaction. Zabini followed from the other side of the Gryffindor table and Harry saw that he was shaking his head to himself.

'Proud of yourself, aren't you?' drawled Blaise as they left the Great Hall, which was still abuzz.

Draco just smirked and popped the last of the sausage into his mouth. As they began to head up the marble staircase, he caught sight of Blaise opening his mouth to speak and then snap it shut again.

'What is it, Blaise?'

'Nothing. It's just ...' he added quickly when Draco threw him a pointed look. 'You were quite loud back there, Draco. I'm sure several people overheard you.'

'Oh, I know.' Draco relaxed into a grin. 'Isn't that a good thing? When more people see I'm trying to get along with Weasley ... that will get Potter's clogs turning even more, right?'

Blaise did not reply, but Draco did not notice the pensive look that crossed his face.

'Speaking of whom,' he continued more enthusiastically as they reached the first floor, 'this thing is definitely working on Potter! The woman finally spoke to me! And she didn't even shout.'

'Miraculous. But she was being sarcastic,' Blaise could not help pointing out, amused. Seeing the frown on Draco's face, he rushed to add lest Draco got needlessly worked up again, 'But as we were saying last night, Potter's reaction is understandable for now. In the future...'

'Yes, yes, I get it, Blaise,' said Draco impatiently.

'So ...' Blaise peered at the blond. 'You're satisfied for now?'

'It's working out well,' replied Draco with a grin.

'And you're enjoying yourself. Clearly.'

'Weasley's face is surprisingly entertaining.'

'You barely had anything to eat, though,' pointed out Blaise. He made a face. 'And I only had some tea. We should've gone back to our table. Or at least finished breakfast with Potter and her pals.'

'Blaise, please,' Draco sighed deeply and shot him a patronising look. 'I'd just managed to spectacularly get on Weasley and Potter's brains. Making a grand exit then was more important than filling your bottomless pit of a stomach.'

Familiar as he already was with the Malfoy's dramatic flair for theatrics, Blaise merely concealed an eye-roll as they headed towards their Arithmancy class. He could only hope that the tiny little issue that had been niggling at him since they left the Great Hall would remain as that: a tiny little issue.

Else everything would backfire in Draco's face.

In fact, Blaise mused to himself as he side-eyed his friend, he was not sure whether Draco even realised that he might have created a tiny little issue back at the Gryffindor table.

He's getting too into this.

Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at each other, speechless, after Malfoy and Zabini had disappeared through the double doors of the Great Hall. The whispers and mutters had fallen into a momentary lull, and Harry was distinctly aware of students turning around to stare at her and her friends instead, anticipating their reactions.

'Well,' began Hermione, scooting to occupy the vacated spot next to Ron again. The three of them gazed from one to the other for a long moment, trying to string together scrambled thoughts into coherent reasoning, but before any of them succeeded -

'Is it just me ...' began someone none too quietly, and Harry looked down the Gryffindor table to see Seamus Finnegan watching Ron with an odd mix of mirth and perplexity.

'It's just you,' muttered Dean Thomas across from him, but Seamus continued without missing a beat, his voice like a cannon,

'... or is anyone else getting the vibe that Malfoy's gay for Ron?'

A moment - an eternity - of dead silence met his words. And then the Gryffindor table erupted.

With a breathless chuckle, Harry shook her head incredulously at Seamus. Meanwhile, students around them had broken into laughter, gasps, whooping and gossip as Seamus Finnegan's unexpected theory was carried forward to all corners of the Great Hall in a mass domino effect.

Ron looked gobsmacked. Mouth hanging open, he gaped at his dorm mate.

'Draco Malfoy? Liking Ron?' said Neville Longbottom, who was seated next to Dean. He looked torn between horror and laughter.

'Yeah, come off it, mate.' Dean rolled his eyes at Seamus, ignoring the excitement around them.

'Malfoy said he ain't done with Ron yet. If that doesn't scream he wants to get off with him, I dunno what does,' Seamus said stubbornly.

Harry looked over at Ron and had to bite down on her lip when she saw the look on his face.

'And since when does he call you Ron?' Seamus continued, peering almost maniacally at Ron.

Ron finally came back to his senses. 'That's mental, Seamus. You're all mental,' he added, glancing at his clamouring peers. Grinning faces looked back at him.

'What he said,' agreed Dean.

Seamus paused, mock-frowning. 'Yeah? Well ... he did eat Ron's sausage.'

'SEAMUS!'

Giving up self-control, Harry buried her face in one hand and laughed, listening to Seamus and the others guffaw in glee.

Ron glared at her, betrayed. 'You're supposed to be on my side,' he complained.

'I am,' Harry chortled, 'but, ah ... maybe Seamus has a point, don't you think?'

'Harry,' Ron growled.

'You don't think Malfoy harassed you for all these years because he secretly likes you, do you?' Harry could not help saying, nearly choking on her giggles.

'Well, then, by those standards, he must've been bloody in love with you,' Ron shot back with a huff.

Harry shut up at once.

That was when Hermione abruptly got to her feet. Putting down her water goblet with more force than necessary, she gathered up her bag, tight-lipped.

'Hermione?' asked Harry slowly.

'Arithmancy,' was the curt reply before Hermione stalked away.

Harry and Ron looked curiously after her, distracted from the hysterics of their friends by the sudden change in Hermione's demeanour. As she watched Hermione nearly storm out of the Great Hall, it occurred to Harry that Hermione had been the only one who had not reacted to, and remained eerily silent after, Seamus' outrageous theory.

In hindsight, Draco should have sensed the danger.

After all, he had noticed Granger glaring at him over her shoulder with eyes that could have frozen the Great Lake ten times over during their Arithmancy period.

The first time he had caught her eyes across the classroom, he looked back coolly for a few seconds and turned back to Professor Vector's lecture. He had almost fallen back into his old reflex of sneering at her, but checked himself with the swift reminder that he was currently on a noble quest to prove to Hariah Potter that he can be civil to her friends. It had been a close call, though.

The second time he had noticed Granger, who he could have sworn looked like she was trying to separate his head from his neck with the force of her eyes alone, he did a double take. While stink eye exchanges between him and Potter's friends had been a daily routine in their previous years, it was unusual for Granger to initiate it. Especially without a reason.

Not one he could think of anyway. Except maybe teasing Weasley during breakfast earlier, but then again, Blaise had said - nagged, several times - that Potter's suspicions towards Draco would not be alleviated this early in the game, and Draco had half-heartedly projected that reasoning onto Granger as well.

He had not spared her another speck of attention after that. He had more important thoughts on his mind, most of them revolving around Potter and Weasley (with a few around the lesson in progress; he did like Arithmancy and Professor Vector was quite strict).

When the bell rang signalling their first break, Draco hurried right past Granger with Blaise, eager to discuss some ideas he had for the next day.

'Blaise,' he said enthusiastically, after dragging his friend over to the next corridor which had relatively fewer students walking about. 'I was thinking about what to do during double Transfiguration and Charms tomorrow -'

'About Weasley again?' asked Blaise, eyebrows raised.

'What else?' said Draco in a voice stating the obvious. 'I'm all set for Charms, of course, but Transfiguration will be tricky. We don't have partner or group work yet, and McGonagall won't let me get away with much unlike Flitwick -'

'Draco!' Blaise cut across him, a hint of exasperation leaking into his voice.

'What?'

'You need to slow down.'

'What do y-'

'You're getting carried away.'

'With what?' Draco huffed indignantly.

'With trying to get into Weasley's pants, as how some people would say,' said Blaise, rolling his eyes. 'Tone it dow-'

'It's true?' a voice interrupted them. 'You're trying to get off with him?'

The two Slytherins looked round, startled, to see Hermione Granger, calm and expressionless, bearing down on them. Only the fire in her eyes and tightening grip around her wand gave away the cold fury she was containing.

Looking right at Draco, she took one step forward.

That was when he finally realised that he had been rather slow on the danger warning uptake.

The rumours spread like fiendfyre through the halls and corridors of Hogwarts, fuelled by eyewitness accounts and reports, until all that the students could talk about by lunch was,

'Did you hear? Hermione Granger punched Draco Malfoy in the face!'

'She had him by the throat, pinned to the wall!'

'It's true; I saw it with my own eyes! Professor McGonagall actually had to pull her off him!'

'They were fighting over Ron Weasley!'

The most zealous of the gossipers was one Romilda Vane, who excitedly quoted Hermione Granger's (allegedly) exact words to everyone she came across, 'She was pointing her wand right in his face and I swear, she said, "It took me years to finally have him and I'm not about to have him stolen away by the likes of you!'

'Wait, so - Malfoy actually does fancy Weasley?'

'Haha! Sweet Merlin, who would've ever thought!'

Lunch found Hariah Potter and Ron Weasley standing in the eye of that whirlwind of rumours. Words failed them. As the information finally sunk in, they looked at each other in unison and Ron summarised the mayhem in just two words:

'Bloody hell!'

~tbc~

A/N: This chapter was going to be longer, but I couldn't resist that ending hehe. Writing this chappie was such a joy, I'd had these, er, circumstances, planned from the very beginning! XD

This fic is basically crack treated seriously (and an excuse for me to mess with Ron. And now Draco, too). This is still going to be short - another chapter or two at the most - but there is still more to come, including *gasp* character development?