Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries. Characters, etc. belong to LJ Smith, the CW, and any other respective owners.

A/N: And so it begins! My first Bamon multi-chapter fic! This goes through season two adding in some nice Bamony twists, mostly because the entire season broke my heart by being one big Delena promo. Needless to say, there will be major spoilers throughout this entire fic.

This begins after 2x02: Brave New World, after Bonnie deep fries Damon and also touches on the events of 2x03: By the Light of the Moon. It's a bit on the short side, but hopefully the chapters will lengthen as this story does :)

Enjoy!

1. Blame

He was the last person on the face of this planet that she wanted to see tonight, but she just didn't have the energy to tell him to go away. She didn't even feel like saying a single word to him and he didn't move to speak either.

Elena had made sure she got home safely and even asked Bonnie if she wanted her to stay the night. Bonnie had almost told her yes, that she needed someone there after she realized that Caroline was no longer Caroline, but a part of her also blamed Elena.

Elena was the one who had to go and fall for a vampire who had a homicidal maniac as a brother with a crazy ex-girlfriend for added baggage. If it wasn't for her, things could still have been normal.

Maybe she would have gone on believing that Grams was a senile old woman. Maybe she would have never realized she had powers. If it wasn't for Stefan and Damon, she would have never even needed them in the first place.

It wasn't entirely fair to blame Elena. Bonnie knew that, she really did. It wasn't like one got to choose who they fall in love with. Stefan made Elena happy and she deserved to be happy after all the tragedy that had befallen her.

Stefan…she couldn't help but blame him a bit, too. Even more so than she blamed Elena, yet slightly less than she blamed Damon. If Stefan had never come back to Mystic Falls, Damon wouldn't have followed him and neither would have Katherine and again, Bonnie would have gotten to keep her nice, normal life. She already knew Stefan felt guilty enough for about a majority of what he had done in the hundred plus years of his life.

She ended up telling Elena that she didn't need to stay with her. That she should go find Stefan or go get some sleep or something. Bonnie had planned on getting sleep anyway.

She laid in bed for what felt like hours. In reality it hadn't even been more than half an hour. Either way she couldn't sleep and she knew just lying there, tossing and turning wouldn't help her achieve her goal anyway. Sleep had been harder and harder to come by ever since Gram's death.

She hastily threw on the clothes she had been wearing early, not even sure where she had been planning to go at first, but she eventually found herself in the woods outside that stupid tomb. The place where her life had started going downhill.

It wasn't unusual for Bonnie to come here. Grams' burial site was far away where Bonnie's extended family lived, so this place had become a sort of makeshift memorial for her. She ended up sitting there, cross-legged, staring blankly ahead, not even sure what to think.

She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there, but the next thing she knew, Damon was sitting right next to her. They didn't look at each other or even acknowledge each other for that matter.

Bonnie supposed that this was where Damon's life began falling apart, too, when he found out that Katherine hadn't been in the tomb. She didn't have it in her to dredge up any sympathy for him, though.

After what felt like an eternity, Bonnie was the first one sto speak. "I blame you," she whispered. "I blame you for everything."

What she didn't tell him and never would was: I blame you and everyone else for everything that goes wrong because it's so much easier than blaming myself. It's not like you really give a damn about it, anyway.

"I know," he told her. He still didn't look at her.

She probably should have left it at that, but more words came tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Elena should have let me finish torching you."

Damon let out a soft scoff. "Of course."

"Everything bad that happens around here is your fault. It always connects back to you one way or another."

"Mmhmm," he hummed. He had stayed nonchalant through her entire tirade and Bonnie figured that he really didn't have a conscience or a heart to care.

"If you had left town or not even come back in the first place, a lot of lives wouldn't be ruined." Especially mine, she didn't add.

"You know, I'm curious about something, Glinda," he paused for dramatic effect. "Does projecting all your guilt onto me really make you feel any better."

That comment hit a little too close to home and she wasn't sure if she should hurtle him into a world of pain with her powers or run as fast as she could. The last thing she wanted was to be psychoanalyzed by anyone, lest of all him.

She scoffed at him and pushed herself off the ground, brushing bits of dead leaves off her clothing. "What are you even doing here?" she snapped.

"I was taking care of the body left over from our new vampire Barbie and I sensed a little witch nearby," Damon replied conversationally.

"Do you ever find your total disregard for life disturbing?" Bonnie spat at him.

"Nope."

"And yet you wonder why there are some many issues between us." She turned and headed back to her car, not wanting to let him respond. She could feel his icy eyes boring holes into her back.

The next time she saw Damon was at night, the same day she had reluctantly spelled a day walking ring for Caroline. She had stopped by the Grille to grab a quick dinner when he found her there.

She threw money down on the table to cover the bill and attempted to make a quick escape when he took a seat at her table.

"What do you want?" she snapped. She picked up her back, still intent on making her getaway.

"Well, there's many things I want. Fame, fortune…"

She glared at him.

"Oh, you mean in this particular instance? Well, I came here for a drink or two or maybe even ten and then I saw my favorite witch and decided I may as well stop for a friendly chat," he told her.

"Our conversations are hardly friendly," she replied, tapping a short fingernail on the surface of the table. Her nerves had been frayed for months and she found herself constantly chewing on them. She turned to leave, but before she could he had to open that amazingly huge mouth of his again.

"I came here to ask how you even have any friends, considering the way you treat them."

"Funny," she scoffed, feeling a wave of defensiveness and anger rise up in her. "I wonder the same about you."

"I'm serious," he said, reaching out to grab her wrist and pull her back into her previously vacated seat. "Caroline could obviously use the support of her friends, so she doesn't lose it and go on a rampage and you couldn't make it any more obvious that you hate her."

Bonnie felt her mouth actually drop open at the one. It took her a moment to regain her speech. "How…" she shook her head, her dark curls slapping her cheeks. "How could you possibly say that to me after everything you've done to Caroline?"

"It's me. People would expect it from me. Not from you."

"What, are you trying to get brownie points from Elena for this or something?" Bonnie asked snidely.

"Not a bad idea," he mused. "I'm not exactly of BFFs list right now."

"Shocker. I mean all you did was try to kill her brother," she replied sarcastically.

"You can try to be self-righteous all you want, which I'm sure you find it ironic that I'm the one calling you that," she interjected when she saw his mouth open to make a smart comment. "You failed to consider one thing, though. What about me?" she asked.

It was a question that had been bubbling up in her for a while now and she never thought she'd be asking Damon that question, but she was on a roll now and there was no stopping.

"Caroline has Elena and Stefan and apparently even you and you all have each other in your dysfunctional little support group, so what about me?" she asked. "I didn't even know vampires existed until you were literally ripping my throat out. I already know I'm being a horrible friend. I don't need you to tell me that. I'm not stupid. Right now, I'm trying to deal with my own issues."

She stood up to leave once again. "You should try doing the same before you really screw things up again. Elena's a very forgiving person and she'll probably end up forgiving you after a little while, but everyone has their limits."

Bonnie turned and left, wishing that she had just kept her mouth shut. She had just shared more with Damon than she had with Elena for a very long time and she was sure it would come back to bite her in the ass. Every little thing she did nowadays seemed to do that.

A/N: So, honestly, I'm a bit nervous about posting this first chapter here because I feel like it's pretty intense for a first chapter, but TVD itself tends to be an intense show, so yeah…this fic is probably going to end up being filled with lots of angst...

I'm also nervous about my characterization because Bonnie and Damon are pretty complex, but hopefully I didn't entirely butcher it.

I'm hoping to have the next chapter up sometime next week!

Comments, constructive criticism, etc. is very much appreciated!