A/N: Hi, all. Just wanted to let you all know about the 'Support Dan Green and the twins – Card Games for Charity' event that had recently been announced by LittleKuriboh on his YouTube account, CardGamesFTW. As some of you may know from the net, Dan Green's wife, Michal Friedman, has unfortunately passed away after childbirth complication from giving birth to their twins, on November 25, 2011. So please, even if you do not choose to donate to the Dan Green Guestbook that has been set up to support him and his twins, pass the news on, either through your own Yu-Gi-Oh (or other fandoms) fanfics, or through social networking. Again, please see the latest video on LittleKuriboh's YouTube account for details on how you can help/donate. Have a safe and Happy Christmas, everyone.
Christmas Special
Opening Crawl
Yami: Hey, guess what? We're back! Those ridiculous rappers can wait another day!
"Urgh! Oaargh!" Yugi whined as he tossed and turned in bed back home, unable to get his mind off the pharaoh. Quite disturbing…
'God, this is sheer torture!' he thought. 'Whoever thought that going on for a whole week without a delinquent spirit in my mind could be so difficult?'
"Oh, quit your bitching, Yugi!" a familiar, booming voice suddenly berated him, making him lurch out of bed.
"Huh? Pharaoh? Is that really you?" Yugi gasped, rubbing his eyes.
"Of course, Yugi. Who else could possibly be in your bedroom at this hour?" Yami rolled his eyes at him.
"Well, I always hoped that somehow Tea would be in here with me and-"
"Pfah!" Yami mocked. "You wish, Yugi! Even Fernando Torres has a higher chance of scoring than you!"
"Hey, lay off, man!" Yugi complained. "It may take years, but rest assured, I will get to that stage where I can proudly say that I had lost my virginity! …Hopefully…"
"Yugi, don't you remember anything at all from the BBT Abridged Movie that was released just a few weeks ago? The facts will disappoint you, I'm sure of that."
"Y'know, I never was told whether or not I actually got laid in that movie. All I remember was Paradox laughing like a maniac, and that I had an unexplainable urge to strangle Jaden in his sleep!" Yugi scratched his head. "Hey, but anyways, how the hell did you get here anyway, pharaoh? Weren't you supposed to be…y'know…gone for eternity?"
"Duh, you're dreaming, Yugi," Yami rolled his eyes. "Who else could possibly dream of an impeccably handsome Egyptian in his bedroom?"
"…Pegasus?"
"Nicely played," Yami admitted.
"Okay, but…is there an actual reason why you're here, pharaoh? Cos it's creepy if you're here for no reason and taking up my dream, when I could be dreaming of much more pleasant things, like Tea's panti-erm…I mean…umm…" Yugi chuckled. "Pans! Frying pans! She's got some of the greatest in the world!"
"Oh, nothing, really. Just wanted to give you a mental momento of all the things we did, that's all," Yami shrugged. "That, and I got quite tired of Mana's incessant 'requests', if you know what I mean."
'Lucky bastard…why does he get to score with the Dark Magician Girl every day?' Yugi jealously thought to himself.
"Yugi, I can hear what you're thinking…" Yami dully noted, then brightened up. "But never mind! I have a fan-tucking-fastic way of cheering you up from your melancholy, Kubrick-esque mood!"
"And how is that?"
"A story! Everyone loves stories, Yugi!" Yami laughed.
"Oh God, not another poem…" Yugi slapped his forehead.
"Alright, then, here goes. Ahem!" Yami cleared his throat, then proceeded with his long monologue.
There once was a boy named Yugi Muto
A mini-man they called him, the size of a Kabuto.
Who had a knack for card games and looking up girls' skirts,
But couldn't do either on motorcycles, as he thought it hurts.
(^o^)
He was invited one day to a madman's card game tournament
And to the Shadow Realm his irritating grandpa was sent.
He had no choice – he had to go to that place
Where gay clowns, enormous chins and little boys dressed as bees were based.
(^o^)
He had to overcome several obstacles, that he did severely detest,
Though to his surprising delight, two of them were Mai Valentine's breasts.
He finally came to Pegasus's castle,
But lo! There was Kaiba, ready for battle!
(^o^)
When all was against him, the cowardly man walked,
Towards the ledge of the castle – what an emo-like dork!
He challenged the pharaoh to make an open attack
But disappointingly, the baby panda tracked back.
(^o^)
The rest of Duelist Kingdom I'll skip,
For I'm certain you know,
Of what happened in that anticlimactic trip,
When the animation quality was low.
(^o^)
Along came the Battle City tournament,
Where every good duelist competed,
But whoever gave Mai Valentine consent
To enter the tournament, he truly must be f***ed in the head!
"Hey, what's up with the sudden pause, pharaoh? Not that I'm complaining or anything," Yugi said. "But I thought that you were going to recount our entire adventure together, right up until you went back to the afterlife and-"
"Are you kidding, Yugi? You could hardly ever fit all that into a ten-minute YouTube video!" Yami blurted. "Besides, I really can't be bothered at the moment. Not with the Council meeting that's going to be coming up real soon."
"Council? What council meeting?" Yugi gripped his bedsheets.
"Another one of Marik's. Apparently, it's his second Good Council of Salvation, and every good Yu-Gi-Oh cast member's been invited...although it's obvious that everyone else will just turn up anyway. What a gay name that is for a meeting," Yami chuckled.
"Oh, God, no…" Yugi sighed and shook his head.
(Meanwhile…over there!)
Marik's Good Council of Salvation #2
Marik: Greetings, fools! It is good to finally have every member of the Yu-Gi-Oh cast with us on this very special day! Does everyone know what day it is?
Evil Teddy Bear: Just Get ON wITh iT, yOU fOol, oR SatAN shall devour yOUR soul!
Marik: Frigging frigg-stick! Talk about a bad attitude! This is supposed to be a Good Council of Salvation from now on, remember? Lousy *EFF!*ed-up tart…Anyways, it's that one special time of the year again, when we all celebrate-
Yami Bakura: Not yet, Marik.
Marik: What? But it's-
Yami Bakura: December the 23rd. Hardly a cause for celebration just yet.
Zorc: You tell him, darling!
Marik: Hey, *EFF!* you, kitty! You should know by now that it's Christmas season! Everyone's been hanging up decorations all over shopping malls and undertaking all sorts of lunacy two months in advance!
Tristan: What in the name of Seth MacFarlane is going on?
Yugi: Just don't talk at all, Tristan, and you'll be fine. Hopefully.
Marik: Ahem…SILENCE!
Yami Bakura: Marik, that was blatantly unnecessary.
Marik: Your accent is unnecessary!
Rex: Ahuhuhuhuh…burned.
Weevil: Yeah! Fire! Fire! Yeah! Yeah! Ahiiihihihihi…
Steve Luna: Your pathetic Earth drabbles are so outdated.
Steve Umbris: Outdated, like a packet of moon prostitutes!
Steve Luna: On the moon, our arguments will cause you to s**t your effing pants!
Steve Umbris: S**t them beyond washing, man!
Johnny Steps: Hey! Johnny Steps will not be ignored!
Steve Luna: Yes he will, because if Johnny Steps does not stay quiet, we shall flay him into submission with our superior moon whips!
Steve Umbris: Like a baus!
Marik: Silence! I was just about to announce our guest members for today. May I present, from Dragonball Abridged; Goku, Gohan, Krillin, Yamcha, Piccolo, Vegeta, Ghost Nappa-
Ghost Nappa: Oh, yeah…s**t's gonna get real all up in this bitch…
Vegeta: Oh, god-dammit, Nappa! Shut the hell up!
Marik: …Lord Guru-
Super Kami Guru: Foolish brown Namekian. You shall refer to me as…Super Kami Guru.
Nail: Sir, I don't think that's necessary in an occasion such as-
Super Kami Guru: I'm about to give you 'an occasion' where you won't ever forget iiiit!
Nail: …Yes, Lord Guru…
Marik: Moving right along…Nail, and finally…Dende.
Krillin: No! It's 'Little Green'!
Marik: It says Dende. Right here.
Dende: For once in a while, I see a human whom I can actually respect. I thank you, sir!
Yami Bakura: Fwahahaha!
Marik: What's so funny, kitty?
Yami Bakura: I find it absolutely ludicrous and laughable that 'Marik' and 'respect' can fit into the same sentence!
Chiaotzu: Hey! You forgot me! *(sees Nappa)* Oh…s**t…
Ghost Nappa: Oh my God! It's that Pokémon again! I've got a prototype Master Ball waiting to strike you after I land a critical and use Sing on you…Hey, is there any Pokémon here that knows Sing?
Tristan: I do! (sings) Lean on me~~When you're not stro~ong…And I'll be your friend…
Ghost Nappa: Aww, Vegeta, it didn't work! Again!
Kaiba: Urgh… *(chucks Mokuba towards Nappa)*
Mokuba: Whoooaaa!
Ghost Nappa: Urgh! A…a Chiaotzu…and a shiny Mokuba! It's just like catching a Mew and a Celebi with one-…oh god-dammit, I only have one Master Ball!
Marik: Frigging hell! We've already wasted more than a full minute on introductions! I'll get through the others quickly! From Naruto Abridged, joining us are Naruto and Tsunade!
Naruto: Where do you keep the cigarettes?
Tsunade: I say, this Council room sure is awfully cramped.
Mai: Hey! Move it along, sister! My breasts do not tolerate your presence in this building! My sisters Faye and Ivy are bad enough, but you, I will never tolerate!
Tsunade: How dare you, you filthy little slu-
Hair Guy: Attention duelists! My Hair wishes to inform you that violence of any sort will not be tolerated in this building!
Gruber: Zat ist correct! Ve shall clamp down upon zose who vill in any vay compromise ze safety of der Fuhrer!
Kaiba: That's…kinda unnecessary, guys…
Hans: But mein Fuhrer! It ist our sole rezponzibility to zee to your zafety, as officers of your noble Kaiba SS!
Kaiba: I said it's unnecessary.
Hans and Gruber: Ja, mein Fuhrer! Heil Kaiba!
Yugi: Why are there only two characters from Naruto Abridged here?
Yami Yugi: What Abridged, now?
Yugi: Naruto Abridged! Y'know, our Abridged partners from a Galaxy far far away who smoke too much and get way too much plastic surgery on themselves.
Yami Marik: Hey, Yusei, do you know what Yugi's talking about?
Yusei: Can't say I do, Yugi.
Yami Yugi: No, Yusei…nor can I…
(Careless whisper plays, and Yami and Yusei are staring at each other like in the BBT Abridged Movie)
*(Caption: ALL OF THE HOMO!)*
Tea: Hummanahummanahummana…
Yusei: …I get that a lot.
Jack: HUMMANAHUMMANAHUMMANA…
Yusei: …Yes. Thank you too, Jack.
Jack: YOU'RE WELCOME, YUSEEEEEI!
Jaden (muffled voice from outside door): Hey, let me in! This is supposed to be a joint Christmas celebration!
Yami Yugi: Yugi, do you hear anything?
Yugi: Can't say that I do, pharaoh.
Gohan: Nope. Me neither.
Jaden: Come on, guys! This is so bulls**t! Why are you keeping me out by locking the- gaaah! *(chainsaw sounds)*
Sideshow Bob (entering the room, singing): Ding dong, the rapper's dead…Oh…Hello…mind if I join in?
Marik: What the *EFF!*? I didn't invite him! What is this bullsh*tery?
Super Kami Guru: Naaaaaaaaaaaaaiiil!
Nail (frustrated): Whaaat…
Super Kami Guru: There is another mutant Namekian standing before us. I detest the light that is reflecting off his yellow skin. Kill him immediately.
Sideshow Bob (gleefully): Oh, I don't think that's quite necessary, good chap…
Nail: Uhh…sir, although he does have a very low power level, I…don't really wanna touch him...
Super Kami Guru: Touch him, Nail. Touch him where it hurts.
Piccolo: Oh, come on! You call yourself a Namekian?
Nail: Coming from a bitch who couldn't even recall his own people's language…and doesn't even have any apps besides Minesweeper.
Piccolo: Oh, HA HA!
Yamcha: So, what's with-
All others: Shut up, Yamcha!
Mokuba: Phew! Finally someone else has taken away the burden from-
All others: Shut up, Mokuba! …and Yamcha!
Marik: As I said before, what the *EFF!* is he doing here?
Yami Bakura: Well, I thought that if anything could knock you back into your true nature and state of mind, it would be a real villain who is an acquaintance of mine. I did consider bringing Melvin, but…let's just leave it at that, shall we?
Sideshow Bob (evilly): Hoooow do you do?
Yami Bakura: Fancy some croutons and tea, Bob?
Sideshow Bob: I most certainly do, Bakura. With a little blood on the side, of course. And by a little, I mean a fountain.
Yami Bakura (chuckles): Oh, how British you are, Bob!
Sideshow Bob: Right back at you, Bakura, my good old chap.
Both: Oh, we're so incredibly British!
Yugi: Oh, God! Tea, hide me in your cleavage!
Mai (unzipping jacked sound in background): Here. You can hide in mine, Yugi!
Joey: Hey, no fair! I thought only I was going to be allowed into your breasts, Mai!
Mai: Please, Joey. These breasts are a freelance service. Much like an Officer Jenny going from town to town, offering certain services on a motorcyc-
Jack: CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!
Yami Yugi: Well, of course! What else could be more pleasant than card games with an Officer Jenny, eh?
Grandpa: …I wet myself…
Dartz: Everywown! Are we gonna keep on bitchin' about some waaandom *EFF!*in' cwap, or are we gonna start some seewious mass-debatin' about savin' da world? We gotta start mass-debatin' wite nooow! Everyone…all at once! …Togedaa.
(all silent)
Goku: …what?
Marik: Yes, indeed. What the *EFF!* are you talking about? And who gave you the *EFF!*ing right to steal my *EFF!*?
Dartz: Yo' what?
Marik: You heard me – my *EFF!*
Rafael: Boss, I think he means you stole his f***ing trademark censor.
Dartz: Wha abaoout his *EFF!*ing trademark?
Alister: You…really don't get it, boss?
Dartz: Get what? What the *EFF!* are yo tawkin' abaouu, maaayn?
Valon: Never mind, boss. It's not that important, anyway.
Dartz: Whateeeva! We needa start some seewious mass-debatin' about what coaase o' action we gon' take!
Pegasus: Ooohohohoohoo! I know that I certainly would like to take part in such an activity!
Zombie Cecilia: Braaains! ("I'd certainly want to, as well!")
Joey: Ooohh, looks like someone got replaced!
Zombie Boy: Yeah, whatever. I couldn't care less. There's way too many clichéd catch-phrases in this series anyway.
Bandit Keith: In America! …I mean…In Canada!
Zygor: Deeeeh, what happened to your name, Bonz? I thought it was umm…err…I thought it was…
Yami Bakura: …Bonz?
Zygor: Yeah! That!
Zombie Boy: Well, obviously the author of this fanfic is an idiotic little d*ckhead for forgetting such a trivial fact in the previous Council meeting.
Shadi: Jagshamesh! I apologize for my late arrival. Some Jew had once again stolen the donuts hanging from my ears, which I had to go and retrieve using the trusted old method of unadulterated violence! Is nice?
Yugi: Oh God, it's him…
Bee Boy: Hey, no fair! I thought disguising myself as a bee would allow me to camouflage in all the yellow sand while I acquired some donuts!
Yami Yugi: Well, you can hardly blame yourself! Your annoying voice makes you as noticeable as a gay clown standing in the middle of a circus ground! …Hey, where did that random kid just go?
Sideshow Bob: *(whistles to himself while holding a knife behind his back with both hands)*
Yugi: …Suddenly I'm beginning to appreciate Marik's evil half.
Melvin (making a sudden entry, his theme music playing in the background): Yeeees? Did someone just say my name?
Tristan: Hooray! Hugs all around!
Tea: No, Tristan! He's going to make your life a living hell!
Mark: Frigg! Bakura, hide me!
Melvin: Now that Uncle Melvin has joined the party…Who wants a hug?
Tristan: I do!
Marik: What the *EFF!* happened to security? You were supposed to deal with it, you frigging frigg-stick!
Odion: Yes, Master Marik.
Marik: Not you, Odion. I'm talking about the...the guy with the pointy hair and stuff.
Hair Guy: Attention duelists! I have no idea what you're talking about! My Hair only accepts one contract at a time, and My Hair is currently contractually obligated to Mr. Seto Kaiba!
Kaiba: Winning…
Melvin: Silence!
Marik: Hey, you *EFF!*ing frigging frigg! That's my line! Only I get to say, 'Silence!'
Yami Bakura: Marik, I sincerely suggest that you calm down – and back down while you're at it. It could be…I don't know…dangerous…
Marik: Oh…okay, then, I um…I'll stay silent. For now.
Melvin: You see, Marik? This is exactly the reason why you needed me in the first place! Without me, you're nothing but a weak, whiny little bi-
Ishizu: I predict that you assertion will be a hundred percent wrong. My brother is strong now. Strong enough to stand up against your tyranny and your-
Marik: Ishizu, protect me! Wah!
Rex: Ahuhuhuhuhuh…check it out, Weevil – it's the SILF.
Weevil: Yeah! Ahihihih…fire, fire! Hihihihih…
Ishizu: O…k?
Melvin: I see now that none of you hold the strength or ambition to lead this little group of ours. Very well, then. I call for a change in leadership! Starting with a vote of No Confidence in Marik!
Yami Yugi: What is this, 'The Phantom Menace'?
Melvin: Silence, pharaoh! I said I call for a vote of No Confidence! Who here agrees?
(all blurt out of fear)
Yugi: Me.
Joey: Me.
Mokuba: Me.
Ryou Bakura: Me.
Zombie Boy: Me.
Zorc: Me.
Krillin: Me.
Naruto: M-*(starts coughing uncontrollably, caption skips to 1 minute later)*…Me…God, I need to quit smoking...
Melvin: Excellent. Now then, who shall everyone vote for? I suggest that you all vote for Yours Truly, otherwise I will-
Yami Yugi: Ghost Nappa.
Pegasus: Ghost Nappa.
Tea: Ghost Nappa.
Piccolo: Ghost Nappa.
Goku: Ghost Nappa.
Mai: Ghost Nappa.
Ghost Nappa: Yaaaaay! Now we can all play 'Follow the Leader'!
Vegeta: Oh, god-dammit!
Melvin: W-what? Impossible! I command you all to vote for me, otherwise I will-
Yami Yugi: Yes, yes, yes, we all know what you can do, Melvin. But erm…Nappa's a ghost. Nuff said. I wouldn't want to take the risk of incurring the wrath of a supernatural being.
Yusei: I thought you were also a supernatural being, Yami.
Yami Yugi: No, Yusei…you've always been mine…
(Careless whisper plays, and Yami and Yusei are staring at each other)
Yusei: Yes homo?
Yami Yugi (smiling): Definitely.
Melvin: No! This is not right! You must all obey me, and me alone!
Ghost Nappa: Oh, yeah…sh*t just got sizzling real, all up in this bitch! Oh, I know! We'll rename this Council of ours!
Marik: No! It must remain 'Marik's Good Council of Salvation', in order to reflect its new purpose!
Ghost Nappa: Boooring! Hey, let's play a game! It goes like this: The name of the council starts with 'Nappa's', and then we randomly add one word to it to make up a council name! Okay, okay, here goes…Nappa's.
Yugi: Super Special Awesome?
Goku: That's not a word!
Yami Yugi: It is, to him. Now let's not speak any more on this little subject – Yugi can bitch on for ages if you allow him to!
Nappa: Okay, so…so far we have 'Nappa's Super Special Awesome'. Anything else?
Tsunade (looking sideways disdainfully at Mai, who is standing beside her as they both have their arms crossed): Council…
Mai (glaring back at Tsunade): of…
Ghost Nappa: Oh, yeah, we need those two words, don't we? So…final takers?
Joey (drooling as he stares at Mai and Tsunade): Breasts…
Shadi: Sexy Time!
Piccolo: 'Nappa's Super Special Awesome Council of Breasts Sexy Time'?
Super Kami Guru: Naaaaaaiiiilll…our friends from Earth require your assistance in naming this sh*tfest of a council. You must help them.
Nail: Lord Guru, they've…already chosen a name for it.
*(A sudden knocking is heard at the door)*
Goku: What's that?
Naruto: Whatever it is, I'm going to smoke it!
Joey: Nyeh? Just how many people are invited to this Council meeting, anyway?
Yami Bakura: Well, technically no-one, seeing as this is now Nappa's Super Special Awesome Council of Breasts Sexy Time, instead of Marik's Good Council of Salvation.
Melvin (holding his chainsaw behind his back): Hehehe…oh, please do go ahead and open the door. I'm literally dyyying to get a hug!
Sideshow Bob (holding a knife behind him): Seconded…
Evil Teddy Bear (with glowing red eyes): ThiRDeD.
Zombie Boy: Uhh…thirded isn't a word…
Kaiba: Screw English, I have money!
Marik: …Okay? Well, let's open the door, shall we? Zombie Boy, I command you to open that door at once!
Zombie Boy: Oh no you don't. Remember this isn't your council anymore, asshole!
Ghost Nappa: Ohhh yeah, f***ed up like a mofo! Well…I say open the door!
Zombie Boy: Okay…let me just peep through a tiny gap and see who's- gaaah! *(is promptly picked up and eaten)*
Slender Man: Hey, guyyyyyys! Hey guyyyyyys!
Yami Bakura: Urgh…
Marik: Ohhh, frigg…
Melvin: Hmm? What's wrong, Marik? Scared of a little faceless man, are we, Binky Boy? Ahahahaaha! Ahhh, it's been too long since I had the enjoyment of wrenching the guts out of an organic being. *(walks towards the Slender Man with chainsaw)* I think I'll start with his rib cage and then- *(Slender Man takes and eats chainsaw)*. What the-…ohhhh, f**k.
Slender Man: Hey guys, can I be a part of your Council, too?
Marik: No! *EFF!* off!
Slender Man: Oh, come on, guyyyys! Just for a few minutes!
Mokuba: Please make him go away! *(hides behind Kaiba)* Seto, hide me!
Kaiba: Hmm? What's that? I'm afraid I've just recently used a Max Repel, a.k.a an Armani perfume. Plus I have three Level 100 Blue-Eyes White Dragons. In other words, I can't be touched at all by wild Pokémon. Not that I see any here.
Mokuba: But Seto!-
Kaiba: I said…can't be touched at all.
The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future: Correction! I think you'll find it that you can and will be touched, Kaiba! As I have foreseen.
Kaiba: Oh God, no...
Shadi: Jagshamesh! That is not true! Only I can foresee the future, and have therefore been breaking the Fourth Wall since 1998!
Ishizu: I predict that your prediction that only you alone can predict the future is a false prediction!
Toolo: …I can see the futuuuuuure!
Espa Roba: YOU ARE ALL WRONG! ONLY I CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE!
Yami Bakura: Oh, great. Now there's been a total failure of security. Good work in choosing this location, Marik.
Roba Brother: Excuse me, would you like this baby?
Yami Bakura: Oh, piss off!
Tea: Ooh! Is it cute?
Roba Brother: Yes!
Tea: And a panda?
Roba Brother: No…But it can sing as a soprano and do cartwheels as well while singing! We haven't seen it yet, but err…we're pretty sure he can!
Cybernetic Ghost: No! As the father of Kaiba and indeed the father of you all, only I have the power to predict the future as well as your fates?
Yugi: You're our…what, now?
Cybernetic Ghost: What's what? What are you talking about.
Yami Yugi: You…said that you're the father of all of us, just now. That's…kinda disturbing, considering the fanfiction couples in this series and all.
Cybernetic Ghost: Oh, right. But it's true! I am your father!
Tristan: Noooooo!
Cybernetic Ghost: If you would let me explain, you fussy curs! Because you see, thousands of years ago, before the first woman was made from Adam's ribcage, there was-
Kaiba: Wawawait a moment, hold on a sec.
Cybernetic Ghost: What is it?
Kaiba: Didn't you tell me in that one video when I was looking for my real father that there was no God?
Cybernetic Ghost: I dunno. Did I?
Kaiba: Yes. So what's with the whole story about the magical apple and the snake and that other crap?
Cybernetic Ghost: Oh, right, I forgot about that…well, you naturally get things muddled up when you know so many things as I do.
Yugi: Wait, aren't you a robot? Aren't you supposed to be all-knowing and all?
Dende: Not to mention smarter than the average Earthling.
Krillin: You tell em', Little Green!
Dende: No. Dende. Say Dende.
Krillin: Umm…Dende? What's that?
Dende: It's my name, you ktaa…
Krillin: No it's not! Your name is Little Green! Always has been, always will!
Dende: …toochbak… ("Douchebag…")
Cybernetic Ghost: As I was saying…thousands of years ago, in a galaxy far far away, when the skies were filled with Alduins, Dovahkiins and Little Greens, I was very alone. Until I found a mate from whom I have now been separated from for millennia, and still hold great affections for. A robot with whom I could share my most intimate secrets and spoiler alerts. A robot known as…Bender.
Rafael: Umm…what?
Cybernetic Ghost: You heard me. Bender.
Alister: Umm…are you serious?
Dartz: Sewiously, what da *EFF!*'s up with yo' heawin, maaan? I heard him cwearwy da fuurst time! He said 'Bend-oooowa'! Now, do as he says, or I will foaoce you down mahself!
Mai: Oooh…sounds exciting.
Tsunade: You're such a slut.
Mai: Shut your cleavage, you bimbo!
Yugi: You…do realize that Bender is a…guy, right?
Cybernetic ghost: Correction – unlike you lower-class meatbags, we robots are of a higher societal tier altogether. We do not have male and female. We only have the one.
Kaiba: Uhh…right. And you're telling us that…we all came from you and Bender?
Cybernetic Ghost: That is correct!
Gohan: Suddenly, I miss being on Namek. Can we go back? We still haven't finished fighting with Frieza yet. He said he'll give us three hours, but…I can't really trust him on his word.
Ghost Nappa: Oh, oh! Can I? Can I come and watch, Vegeta? I always wanted to see a shiny bald Pokémon! Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?
Vegeta: OH, GOD-DAMMIT, NAPPA!
Yugi: Huh…so…we're all the offspring of two transvestite robots from the future from the past?
Kaiba: This is…kind of awkward.
Nail: Hah! Sucks to be you humans!
Piccolo: Shut up, Nail...
Yami Bakura: So…you're telling me that…I'm related to Marik? Urgh…
Marik: What? What's wrong, kitty?
Yami Bakura: I believe this is the end of Thiefshipping, Marik.
Marik: You believe this is the what of what?
Zorc: Don't worry, darling! There's always time for more Zorc and Pals!
Yami Bakura: Oh, huzzah…
Yamcha: what's Zorc and Pa-
All others: Shut up, Yamcha!
Yami Yugi: Wait, wasn't this Council meeting supposed to be about saving the world from certain destruction and evil? Whatever in the name of Ra happened with that?
Melvin: 4Kids happened, that's what.
Steve Umbris: Like a baus!
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!