Letters to Nobody: Extras
Warning: What you'll read below will be a mess of hastily written thoughts. Half-formed or stupid. And definitely unpolished. I normally don't post my snippets or my story notes, so this is a first.
This page contains the following:
Chapter snippets
Miscellaneous Drabbles/Non-Drabbles
Dubious Character Outlines
I dedicate this to the people who've left reviews and to the silent stalkers who've added this story to their alert list and favorites page. Of course I also dedicate this to you, who are currently reading this. c:
Here is the "backstage" of this story.~
I added small notes here and there to explain my insanity. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 prologue draft: from the pov of an inanimate object

"Hey."

"Excuse me."

Everyone is ignoring me. All I ever receive is a passing glance, and whoever it is moves on. Am I that undesirable? I have lost count of the people who have passed me by since I found myself stranded on a busy sidewalk. Everyone seems to be in a hurry.

"Hey, I'm lost."

The day wears on, and I stay where I am. Dust and smog start to clog my skin, and I feel dirty. Maybe my master will come and pick me up when he realizes he has left me behind in an unfriendly street. My master is an idiot.

I sigh wearily as I feel the winds shifting. Rain is coming soon. I...don't do well in the rain. If I am left out any longer, I will wither.

I will die.

I don't want to die.

I feel someone staring at me, and I look wildly around, trying to spot who it is. The sidewalk was crowded with people. Milling and moving like a mass of cells. In what seems like eternity, the crowd parts, and I see her. Our gazes lock, and something in me thumps wildly. This is it. She is my last chance.

She is walking slowly, taking pains to not get noticed. It is impossible; her hair is meant to stand out. It catches the attention of everyone around her; and though they move on after a moment's notice, she has captured their attention all the same. She stops in front of me, and I look hopefully up at her as indecision crosses her features.

"Please..." I pray. "Please. I don't want to die."

Slowly, hesitantly, she reaches for me, and relief so profound flooded throughout my whole being that I eagerly reached for her waiting hand. I know, then, that I am going to love this woman forever.

Chapter 4 at the cafe: from the observations of Rin

Something weird was going on with Miku today. She hardly paid attention to what she was doing all day; had it not been for me and the rest, she would have lost her job by now.

I mean, come on. Who pours maple syrup into someone's coffee? Seriously.

More suspicious still was her running off just before rehearsals started. And I knew something was going on when that blue-haired dunce came in looking like someone had just kicked his puppy. I watched as the dude calmly endured the diva's verbal lashing like it was nothing to him. Gumi next to me was looking on, too, morbidly fascinated. I just wanted to know what was going on.

So, after a well-meant text message to one of the intended parties and receiving the expected response, I decided to play up the sympathy act.

"Oh no, Gumi," I said out loud, making sure that the dude with the blue hair and the sulky slouch was nearby. "Miku is sick again!"

The girl, bless her soul, was looking at me like I was insane. After winking at her and jerking my head back to where I assumed the dude was hovering nearby, she finally got it. "Oh my," she said aloud, covering her mouth with her dainty fingers. "And she lives alone, the poor thing! She was sick last time too, wasn't she? We have to look after her!"

"Why are you two talking like a bunch of—oof!" Len doubled over as I 'accidentally' elbowed him in the gut.

"But we have work tomorrow, Gumi," I complained loudly to my friend, who was trembling in her seat to contain her laughter. "We can't just skip work to check up on our sick friend, no matter how well-intentioned our excuse is!"

"Hatsune-san is sick?" someone asked behind me, and I grinned winningly at Gumi.

The things I do for friends. And love. What a life.

Chapter 5 mistake: when I'm sleepy, my mind shuts down and I sometimes type weird things

There on the low-lying table was the culprit disturbing me from sleep. Its thin screen lit up and blinked an unfamiliar number as it rang. I frowned. There was a guy creeping around outside my window. His dog was pooping in the yard. What a jerk. I hope he picks up his dog's poop. He's bald. He's fat. He's scratching his head while looking right into my window. I wonder if he can see me. If so, it probably wasn't smart to sit in front of the computer in just a camisole. I wonder if he's a peeping tom. Ah. He's gone. [Had a lot of similar occurrences happening throughout the writing of this story.]

Chapter 5 honesty : what I think Ema-san really wanted to say

"You're going out in this horrid weather, are you?" she asked, looking past me at what I assumed was the man behind me. Her brows furrowed into a disapproving frown. "This must be the idiot who made you walk home in the rain yesterday. Hey. You. What's up with that? What kind of man takes a woman's umbrella when it's raining, huh? Is your penis that small?" [Honestly have no idea how penis sizes literally correlate to being a gentleman, but it's a typical expression. I love Ema-san dearly.]

Chapter 5 red card: what I think Kaito should have done

"I insist," he said softly, and I repressed the urge to shiver. He was so close. I could feel the puff of his breath along the shell of my ear as his arm brushed along my back. My skin, even clothed, tingled where he came in contact with it. I closed my eyes for just a moment. "Shion-san..."

"Hatsune-san," his voice dipped an octave lower, and I openly shivered as I felt the rush of his breath. I squeaked when his tongue slid slowly along the outer shell of my ear and tried to step forward, but he snaked his hand around my waist. "Wait," he whispered. His hand was warm on my belly as he pulled me flush against him. I could feel his warmth radiating down my back, sending thrills racing up and down my spine.

"Why are you doing this..?" I whispered shakily as his free hand lightly cupped my cheek. His lips were oh, so soft as they ghosted along my jaw, his warm breath brushing against my chin. A flush of warmth crept up my neck as he pulled back his lips and nibbled on the edge of my jaw. His teeth were hard and unforgiving, but his tongue was warm and wet as he laved at the marks he was leaving.

Around us, shoppers were continuing about their business, oblivious to the scene they were missing out on.

"I can't help it," he confessed to me softly, making me gasp as his hand on my belly idly slipped under my top, brushing against my hip. I shivered again when his unnaturally warm fingers caressed my navel. "Our writer is a pervert," he said, "though I admit I really like this. Don't you, Hatsune-san? Please say you do..."

It took me a while to say something past the fog clouding my brain. He was such a solid body against my back. His hands were so distracting. His mouth even more so, especially when he wasn't using it to talk. "I've..." I breathed, "never done it in public..."

"I can fix that," he offered. He probably wasn't even aware of how devious he sounded. "But maybe in another fic. Shh..." He soothed me with a soft kiss to my nape; I hadn't even realized I had whimpered in protest. "What I want to do with you will definitely be beyond the boundaries of this rating. Even talking like this is already a T-rating."

"But I can't wait," I mewled and he chuckled against the underside of my jaw. Leaving it with a kiss, he nuzzled his way up the side of my face. "Temptress," he murmured hotly into my ear, and I felt a surge of triumph as I sensed a change in him. "Your wish is my command."

[...:D.. I'm unsure about writing smut!fics for Vocaloid; especially since I'm pretty sure the majority of this community is most definitely under drinking age. Plus writing smut in first person is oddly too self-serving and very creepy.]

Miscellaneous Drabbles/Non-Drabbles

What Leon does during lunch break.
Every lunch break, Leon always disappears. This has been a [not-so-troubling] dilemma among the rest of the staff, because he always shows up when break is over. What puzzles them, however, is to where exactly their resident uncle goes during those breaks.

So Len suggests quite brilliantly one morning to follow their leader to wherever it is he usually goes. The only problem is that their break times aren't exactly synchronized. Miku and Gumi thus refuse to participate, leaving Len and Rin with each other in their misadventure.

As Leon's lunch break nears, the siblings start to get ready. They observe the blond from across the room, their twin gazes tracking him like he is prey. Stealth is key, after all. They trail behind him as he disappears behind the bar, both trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. They hide around the corner of the hallway he walks down, and cautiously peek when they hear the sound of a door opening. They manage to catch the man's leg disappear behind a closing door.

Huh. Leon is only going to the Boss's office. Rin and Len discuss among themselves as to whether or not this truly is the head waiter's usual destination, and both agree to wait and see if he comes out.

Five minutes pass at the rate of eternity, and the twins slowly creep towards the closed door bearing the simple sign 'Manager.' No sounds come from within, but that is to be expected with the kitchen operating nearby. So, like a pair of low-budget spies, brother and sister both lean their ears against the door.

What they hear traumatizes them, quite possibly, for life.

"Mmh..." a distinctly female voice moans. "You have the hands of a god, Leon..."

"You flatter me, Ann," comes a gentle rumble. "Hush now, just enjoy."

"Oh , yes..." their boss sighs, then gives a great audible gasp. "Yes! Yes, right there. Ohhh...do that again..."

Brother and sister both stare at each other with identical horrified expressions on their faces. The shock worsens when they hear a particularly high-pitched gasp through the door. They flee the scene and return to work, and for the rest of the month they can hardly bring themselves to look their superiors in the eye. Silly twins.

What Leon really does during lunch break: give Boss a back rub.

When Kaito accidentally walks into the women's changing rooms.

"KYAAAAAA! KAITO PERVERT!" Insert lots of screaming and throwing of things here.

When Len accidentally walks into the women's changing rooms.

"FINALLY! PUT THIS SKIRT ON!" Insert the mauling of an effeminate male body here. Add on frills. And lace. And makeup. And a wig.

As I write this, I feel no pity for Len at all. I shall happily be your fag hag, Len!

When Gakupo accidentally walks into the women's changing rooms.

...What? He doesn't get caught. He's friggin' ninja.

When Meiko and Luka accide—purposefully barge into the men's changing rooms.

"Put 'em up, boys. It's time for your monthly inspection."

Sometimes Boss joins the observation. It is a rare privilege to ogle the bodies of fine male specimen. For free. Without going to the red-light district. The night shift women of Tête-à-Tête take advantage of this opportunity with an eagerness comparative to a pack of hyenas taking down a gazelle.

The men take it like men. They cry on the inside and think of the paycheck they will receive. (Al and Leon proudly boast their assets, however. British men are very stiff-upper-lippy; keeping calm and carrying on, and thinking of England.)

I'm proud of you, men.
(Of course, in the real world this is sexual harassment at the work place. xc x )

How Big Al was hired at Tête-à-Tête.

His target had been sighted leaving his home at precisely four in the morning. For the past six days of surveillance, this had been the target's routine. He had holed himself up in a cramped, ratty room in an apartment building directly across his target and had done nothing since but sit and wait. The days had been long, the nights even longer. He ate and slept little. Stakeouts worked that way.

He was tired of waiting. It was the sixth day, and Al was more than ready to step up his game from surveillance to tailing. So when the man left that cloudy morning, Al was trailing after him.

His target was a threat to his government. According to the dossier his agency provided him, this man was a key suspect in a lot of covert, secrets-within-secrets offshore operations. How the man was still alive today only proved his skill in keeping himself six steps ahead of everybody else; even those whom he worked with and for. Al's line of work had a name for targets such as these: lone wolf. Lone wolves were the most dangerous of operatives; which was why Al, a lone wolf himself, was given the job.

It had been a stroke of luck to actually track down the elusive target to a specific address in a specific country. Al hadn't been expecting something so simple, thinking that his target would be operating under the belief that his pursuers would be aware of such a blatant move. Then again, if Al were to truly think about it, as a pursuer he would assume that such a genius of a target wouldn't do something so obvious. Then again, he would think that his target would like him to think so, or wouldn't he? It was a basic principle that had tacticians run around in circles, chasing their own reasoning.

Al's solution had been a practical one: cover all the bases. If the target wasn't at one point, then he was at the other. Al had narrowed down his search to two hypothesized locations derived from a very faint trace of paper trail; and it turned out he had been right on his first hunch and the other had been a decoy.

Damn, he loved his job.

He trailed his target through various train lines. If he wasn't confident in his ability to remain hidden, he would have thought his target had figured out he had a tail. As such, his target finally emerged from the train station at a brisk walk.

Al stayed a block behind; the street was barren of any pedestrians or traffic that he could blend in with. He hadn't taken into account how early mornings meant less people. Peeking from the alley, he spotted his quarry turn a corner, and he swiftly moved to pursue him.

What his target had walked into was a locked side entrance. Al retreated, and walked towards the front of the property.

"Well bugger me to death," fell from his slack mouth as the sign Tête-à-Tête greeted him in true Parisian cafe-style. The sign hung from a wrought iron bracket molded to the store's edifice. Below the froufrou words bore the legend 'maid and butler cafe,' and below that dictated the hours of operation through the week. Something white flashed out of the corner of his eye, and he saw the HIRING sign taped to the cafe's clear glass door.

He grinned.

The next day...

"Welcome, Master!" he was greeted by a cute young thing with long, teal blue twin tails. The girl's fair skin glowed from the traditional black French maid's ensemble she wore perfectly. "How are you today?"

"Good, now that I've seen you," Al easily said, leaning down to look the girl in the eye. To her credit, despite his appearance, the girl smiled and tittered good-naturedly. "Oh, Master," she said. "It makes me so happy to hear that. My name is Miku! Let me show you to your seat~"

"Actually," the man said, straightening up. "I'm here about a job."

"Did somebody say 'job'?" a deceptively soft voice said from behind the bar. Al walked further into the cafe, absently patting Gumi on the head with a murmured thanks. A buxom blonde figure leaned over the bar's surface, displaying an impressive set of breasts straining behind a simple white button-up. "Ah," she said as she spotted Al. "Stop right there, please."

Al raised his eyebrow, but stopped just before he reached the first stool. The blonde eyed him from head to toe, muttering to herself ("Good physique. Mysterious marks. Sharp eyes.") before saying, "Turn, slowly."

Again, Al obeyed, amused at being treated like a piece of meat. He smirked when he caught the words "nice rump," from the blonde, and made sure to flex them for her benefit before facing her once more. A satisfied smile curved along the blonde's cherry red mouth. "Qualifications?" she asked.

"Served as a waiter at numerous hotel restaurants and catering companies over the years. Sacher, Novotel Plovdiv, the Four Seasons in Prague, Titania..." Half-truths, all of them.

"You move around a lot?"

"Used to. Now I think I'm going to settle down for a while."

"Where did you get the scar on your forehead?" the blonde asked.

"Where did you get the scar on your neck?" he asked in return, playful smirk in place.

The blonde leaned back, her hand automatically reaching up to cover the choker around her neck. Her bright blue eyes narrowed. "Leon!" she barked.

Silent as a whisper, a tall blond man appeared behind the woman. Upon spotting Al, he tensed, his own eyes narrowing in recognition. Al turned his smirk to him, his manner subtly shifting to predatory. "Is there a problem, Ann?" the man named Leon asked.

"Not at all," Ann said, straightening up and turning to her employee. "Meet your night shift counterpart. You, what's your name?"

"Al," he supplied.

"Al," Ann said to Leon. "Leon will show you the basics of what you'll do. Your shift starts at night, five to twelve; five to eleven on Sundays. Come by the office later." Sparing her new employee a saucy smile, she said, "From today on, I'll be your boss. Call me Mistress."

"Yes, Mistress," Al parroted, making the blonde's smile wider. With a wave and a pat to Leon's arm, she disappeared down what Al assumed was a blind corridor.

With the Mistress gone, Al and Leon faced each other; smugness was met with animosity. "Well," Leon said after a few beats. "Come behind the bar, I'll show you to the dressing rooms."

To the passive eye the two men seemed, by all accounts, two co-workers walking together. They passed the kitchens, a broom closet, and the manager's office before coming to a stop before a door marked 'Changing Rooms: Male.' Across the hall was a similar door for the females, and further down the hall was the employee water closet.

Leon opened the male changing room door and went inside. Al followed, and was immediately slammed back against the door, jarring it shut. The blond's hand had Al's neck in a vise grip, and he hissed as he leaned close to the big man's ear, "What the bloody hell are you playing at?"

Al grinned, and coughed after taking in a wheezing breath past his abused windpipe. "Couldn't I see an old friend?" he asked.

"I've already retired, you prig," Leon shook him, which was a rather demonstrative mention of his strength, for the man had less bulk than Al did. "How many times must I tell you people to leave me well enough alone?"

"Nobody retires," Al said, looking the blond straight in the eye. "You should well know by now. For people like us who do the things we do, nobody retires."

Leon shoved him off, taking a step away from him and turning around. "Have you come to kill me then?"

That was the question, wasn't it? Here was a man, a highly-prized defector and terrorist, sought after by every known agency in the world; and he was a waiter in a maid cafe. For the past two years, this man had been living comfortably in plain sight dressed as a butler and playing teatime with customers.

Al smirked.

"You'll die on my time. Until then, let's work together."

When the cafe learns a new word.

"Shenanigans," Leon says.

"She—what is?" Len asks, his face scrunching up in confusion. [heh. Nani ga is 'what is.' -gets shot for being lame-]

The rest of the morning shift gather around the bar. It is a slow day; and everyone is hoping for any kind of entertainment that isn't Yuu-san belting out his favorite enka songs.

"Shenanigans," Leon repeats. "For example, your following me around during my lunch hour. Don't think I don't know, Len-kun, Rin-chan."

"What!" the boy exclaims, his face turning an embarrassing shade of puce that does nothing at all for his appearance. "I don't know what you're talking about!" he adds defensively, lightly elbowing his sister in the ribs.

"Shenanigans," Rin says, ignoring his brother's imploring gesture and looking at Gumi.

"Oh really?" Leon asks. "I heard whispers in the corridor..."

"That wasn't me!"

"Shenanigans," Gumi repeats, glancing happily at Miku.

"...and I couldn't mistake that mellifluous alto of yours. It's very unique."

"You must have heard Pii-san! And don't make fun of my voice!"

"Shenanigans?" Miku asks Leon.

"Pii-san doesn't have yellow hair," Leon said serenely, reaching over to pet Miku's hair in praise for her effort. He loves doting on the staff; it's a big part of his day. "Indeed, Hatsune-san, shenanigans. Oniichan is proud of you."

"It wasn't me with the she-hey!" Len insists, pointing an accusing finger at the blond foreigner. "You! That thing you just did! That's she...shena...shenanigans!" [srsly pushing it now. Na is masculine version for Ne; both can mean 'hey.']

"The last person in the class has finally mastered it," Leon announces proudly, raising his hands to clap them together enthusiastically. Leon can be scary with his overzealousness sometimes. "I feel so accomplished."

Len, thoroughly harassed, silently vows revenge.

The next week goes by with everyone saying shenanigans at least thrice a day, defying the logic of grammar and generally butchering the word meaning.

"So this customer asked if we could serve an extra large jumbo, and I was like: whaaaat?"; "Hahaha! What's up with that shenanigans!"

"What did you do to your hair? That's shenanigans!"; "Well, your face is shenanigans!"

"Shenanigans my foot. I've done nothing wrong!"; "You're still on about that shenanigans?"

One fine morning, the day shift employees are loitering along the corridor, chatting animatedly like a flock of twittering birds. The managerial staff, consisting of one, finally snaps. The door to the manager's office slams open, and everyone present will swear to you later that they have seen low-lying fog billow menacingly from the room within. The corridor lights start blinking in and out, sputtering in fear. The monster has awakened, and the monster is angry.

"STOP ALL THESE SHENANIGANS NOW!" the monster bellows, and everyone cowers in terror. "You buggering, bumbling band of baboons!" [sorry for defiling McGonagall's quote]

Silence reigns in the corridor, everyone afraid to make a move lest he or she angers the demon queen. Said demon queen gives each of them a lasting, nightmare-inducing glare before shutting herself back into her cave—office. The fog dissipates. The lights mysteriously start working well again.

A few seconds later...

"Buggering."

...the cycle starts anew.

Dubious Character Outlines

Characters: Tête-à-Tête (I feel sad I didn't get to play with all of them in this story. Crap doodles: i51 . tinypic . com / k1q9na . jpg [copypaste and remove spaces])
Sweet Ann (aka Boss, Oneesama): She's the [scary] boss lady. May look pleasant but is actually a closet pervert. Loves to dress up her employees. Can drink anyone under the table and does it with a very serene face; is the cafe's reigning champion of booze. Turns into a dictator when her cafe is threatened.
Leon (Head Waiter and Bartender – day shift): Has a complex; thinks he's everyone's big brother, but is more like an overly affectionate uncle. Takes care of everyone except Al. Specialty: makes the best shakes.
Miku (Waitress – day shift): Actually takes her job seriously to the point that she's like a wind-up doll. Has a secret love for Pii-san's creations, but is still too shy to ask for them. Loves simple food. Can live on toast and ramen water for weeks.
Len (Waiter – day shift): Doesn't do his job, ends up following Rin around to make sure she doesn't get hit on or harassed.
Rin (Waitress – day shift): Can take care of herself. Stupid Len.
Gumi (Waitress – day shift): Is friends with everyone. :D She's a very happy morning person. Loves frogs and humming. Sleeps promptly at 11pm five days in the week. Her boyfriends don't like it. Pesters Pii-san about recipes she can do at home. Personality is a little similar to Ranka Lee. Love love Macross! Love love Nakajima Megumi-sama! I mean.. come on—she sang "Watashi no Kare wa Sengoku Bushou/My Boyfriend is a Sengoku Warlord," a parody of the original Minmei song which Ranka covered, "Watashi no Kare wa PILOT/My Boyfriend is a Pilot."
Yuu-san (Head Chef – day shift): Ex-military serviceman (navy). Is graceful under lunch hour pressure. Bald by choice. Actually has very nice eyes. Can hold his breath for 5min48sec. Runs a very clean kitchen. Hogs kitchen radio to play enka station all day.
Pii-san (Patisserie Chef – day shift):Passionate about desserts. Has actually won awards for the cafe, but is a big wuss. Prone to being driven to suicide attempts. Leon always stops him. Yuu-san drugs him sometimes to keep him calm, but Boss doesn't like it.

Big Al (Head Waiter – night shift): Worked a crap-ton of odd jobs before landing in the cafe. Nobody knows exactly what he has done in his life. Rumors go around saying he is a retired SAS agent. Is the same age as Leon, and works hard to piss him off. They're like a bunch of grumpy old men.
Kiyoteru (Bartender – night shift): Is an accountant by day. Really, really loves money. Is the star of the cafe's night life, providing booze to everyone. Gets cranky when someone doesn't tip him. Can't imagine him as anyone else but Ootori Kyouya from Ouran Koukou Hostubu. Heh.
Gakupo (Waiter – night shift): Nobody knows what's going on in his head. Seriously. Has been scouted many times in the past for his looks and his voice. Has been sent a bomb once. Just once. Al disarmed it. If Gumi is Ranka, then this Sengoku bushou is Alto, more or less.
Luka (Waitress – night shift): Is actually working to put herself through med school. Loves to flirt with the customers to get extra tips for buying shoes. Scary thing is that it actually works. ...Sheryl. T_ T Serial dater type: casual.
Meiko (Waitress – night shift): Dreams of being scouted. Usually drinks when things don't go well. Usually drinks when dates don't go well. Is really terrible at holding her liquor. Is roommates with Luka. Serial dater type: intense. Just realized I drew her hair in a pixie cut yet wrote that she wore a bob. Uh oh. Inconsistency.
Kaito (Waiter – night shift): Loves to sleep. Doesn't fully wake up until after 6pm. Is a sentimental bastard. Often forgets to comb his hair. Keeps a lot of paper in his pocket to write songs.
Characters: Others (I really hate coming up with names.)
Enzo-san (cafe patron): Is a look-but-not-touch type of person. Because his wife is super strict, he is reduced to visiting maid cafes instead of strip bars. He's a normal working man who regrets being married. Poor baby.
Acchan and the Nameless Blonde (women who found Kaito's letter): Best trait: extortion. Both love karaoke. Very vain. Are the types to freak out over a wrinkle or chipped nail polish or split end. Total valley girls.
Ema-san (Miku's Landlady): Grandmotherly-type. Enjoys cute-shaped bread and animal crackers. Loves to invite single tenants to tea and give them oranges. Best tactic to get them to do things for her. Is really a very sneaky person.

(080511)