20 Reasons Hermione Granger Should Have a Baby

With Ronald Weasley

A/N: Okay, so my dumb self found a way to download stories from my laptop...I know, I'm stupid. So instead of waiting til next week for an update, here you are. Updates may not take as long. Yay! Anyways...

I also got an anonymous review and I thought I should address it on here.

I don't think my stories demeans women, I am one after all. Ron is only kidding on the notes! It's suppose to be funny. ugh.

Two, dirty talk turns anyone on, trust me. It's part of having sex, correct?

Three, my character portrayals are realistic right? Something Ron and Hermione would say or do?

Fourth, now I don't mind criticism but flaming? Honestly, find something better to do with your time.

I'm so grateful for all the positive feedback you all contributed to this series. Especially to those who reviewed and added it to their favorites, I'm so honored lol. Onward...

"Herms why not?"

Ron was begging again, can you blame him? Hermione was stubborn.

"I said no, Ronald!"

"Hermione please! I'm begging you. Why cant we," Ron whined to Hermione.

"Because you act like a child, I don't want to have to take care of two children."

Well, that was bloody insulting. It's not like he acted like a child all the damn time. Hermione could be such a bint sometimes.

Ron opened the door to the bathroom, Hermione was standing in front of the mirror getting ready for work.

"'Mione, please? I think we're ready," Ron said calmly, looking at his wife.

"I don't know, Ron. We're both so busy all the time. You have being an Auror to worry about and I just got promoted to undersecretary of Magical Law Enforcements. When can we possibly have time to raise a child," Hermione asked reasonably.

"We can make time, love. Harry and Ginny find time for James and she's even playing quidditch!"

"Ronald, she quit quidditch."

"Right..."

Ron grimaced. He knew that one of them would have to quit working. He also knew neither of them would want to. It was hard enough convincing Hermione to have a baby, it was another to quit working.

When Ron didn't say anything she spoke again, "Look, I'll think about it alright? We can discuss this after work. I love you."

Ron gave a small smile. At least it wasn't completely shot down this time. Hermione walked passed him as her returned her endearment. He also made his way down stairs and they both made their way to the Ministry.

"-and he never lets it go no matter how reasonable I'm being. He thinks its like how it was raising Scabbers! He doesn't realize its a responsibility, and we're so busy all the ruddy time. We barely have time to have sex, let alone raise a child! I might as well think of sex as a precious memory..." Hermione finished.

Ginny scrunched her nose, "Okay, first of all, gross. Second of all, that's my brother so that just made it even worse, and third, 'Mione, having a kid isn't as sacrificial as you think, my and Harry have sex all the time."

It was Hermione's turn to grimace. "But honestly, it's so rewarding." Ginny had that look on her face of pure contentment, like nothing was missing anymore. It was true, she did have everything.

Hermione shrugged and looked even more defeated, "I know Gin, it's just that I'm not ready. How can I convince him to give me more time?" Hermione looked at her with such defeat Ginny had to help her best friend. It's not everyday Hermione asks someone else for help.

Ginny's smile radiated as she answered Hermione, "You have no idea how awesome it is to finally give you help," Hermione tsked, "Okay, but seriously, this what we do..."

Ron was so excited to finally be off, paperwork was a nightmare and he could barely keep his eyes from drooping shut; even now that he was home.

As soon as he made it on the couch he sighed and put his legs up on the table. Relaxation, finally. He closed his eyes and leaned into the couch.

"Ouch!" Ron opened his eyes to be greeted by blue ones. Wait, Hermione's eyes were brown. He sat up and really looked. James?

"What," Ron asked, only accomplishing one syllable due to the shock.

"Oh, Ginny and Harry wanted a night to themselves. She asked if we could take care of James for the night," Hermione replied, a little to happily. Usually having to take care of James brought a grimace out of her as well. Ron let it go and groaned, not today he thought sadly.

Hermione beamed in the inside. He'll be forgetting about the baby in no time. Everything was going according to plan.

Ron was even in a more bitter mood stepping outside of the bathroom, finally able to get into bed. James decided to soil his diaper, Hermione forcing him to change it because she was still cooking dinner. It was bloody awful, it smelled liked dragon dung.

It was fine during dinner, being able to play with James and cooing with the little bugger. He was a cute child. Too bad the little git decided to play with his food and get it all over Ron's face when he leaned in too close at the wrong time. It even had the nerve to laugh. He did not find peas sliding down his face very amusing, though Hermione did. He glared at her.

Ron even found himself getting the little boy to bed. Changing its diaper once again had not been any less dreadful, it pooped out everything it took in at dinner, blimey. The smell was bloody horid. To make it worse it took the kid two hours to fall asleep, two bloody hours! Where the bloody hell was Hermione the whole time? Nowhere!

Ron was passed exhausted, he was two steps away from dead. He grudgingly made his way towards the bed where Hermione laid, looking like she didn't even realize there was a damn baby! This just pissed Ron off more, he still didn't know why. He was even more pissed when she had a secret smile on her face, like she was up to something. Naturally, he flared.

"What the bloody hell, Mione?"

Hermione snapped her head up, eyebrows narrowed, "Excuse me?"

"You made me watch James all night! I'm bloody exhausted."

"I'm sorry, Ronald. I've been busy as well," Hermione replied looking back to the magazine she was reading.

"Hermione! You haven't done a damn thing, woman!"

This time Hermione closed her magazine, it oddly satisfied Ron for a moment until he realized she was going to open her mouth and say something. Fuck...

"I beg your pardon, Ronald? Did I or did not cook for you this evening?"

"You did.." Ron grumbled. Here we go...

Did I or did I not make you desert after wards?"

Again, he nodded.

"Ronald-"

"I bloody got it, woman," Hermione pouted at being interrupted, "I'm sorry. It's just that today was particularly tiring. I had to stay extra hours completing a follow up to the raid, then I come home and tried to get a nap and James is here. It's so tiring! I feel like pulling my eyes out."

"You're the one who wanted a child, Ron. Expect this every night."

Hermione watched Ron ponder that thought. His face slightly contorted due to thinking. She hoped he would stray away from wanting a child. That was the reason James was here after all.

It was bloody tiring, he couldn't even think about going through that every night. Then again playing with his nephew and watching those cerulean eyes light up with glee was mesmerizing. He wanted to be someone's center of attention, their idol. Then again the diaper changes and putting them to sleep was dreadful.

"Maybe you're right, Herms. I just want to sleep," Ron finalized, making his way into bed.

Hermione snuggled into his side, "Are you sure, love," she asked while taking in his earlobe into her sleek mouth. He could feel his cock stir. He was a man after all, with a sexy wife. Damn sleep to hell.

"Maybe I can stay up a little longer..." Ron sighed.

"Good," Hermione replied continuing her ministrations as she made her way down to his neck.

Merlin, this felt good. It had been a while since they both had time to get intimate.

She grazed her hand over his bulging erection and was rewarded with a strangled moan. Hermione straddled him and Ron wrapped his arms around her slender waist, thrusting occasionally to create friction against his cock.

He began breathing harder into Hermione's neck, feeling the arousal coil hotter in his groin. Ron took it as his cue to start undressing her, taking off her sleeping dress, leaving only her bottom knickers. Hermione dipped her hand into his pajama bottoms grasping his hardened flesh into her delicate hands.

"Fuck, Hermione," Ron groaned, dipping his head to taste her rosy nipples. Ron wanted to cum right there, hearing Hermione keen in pleasure. She was always so responsive.

Ron removed his fingers from her waist and pulled down his bottoms lower, freeing his eager erection. He removed her hand from his erection and positioned her at the head of cock. Teasing them both while he rubbed along her entrance, wet from her arousal.

"Oh, love please. I need you."

He thrust into her heat and he forgot all about his earlier exhaustion. He continued to pump into her heated core, hearing her moan and call his name after almost every thrust.

Ron could feel his orgasm approaching, inviting it to wash him over in blinding ecstasy. He opened his eyes to meet with Hermione's, eyes blown out from lust just like his own. It only hurried his orgasm along. Their skin was sleek with sweat, his fingers curling into her messy hair. He could feel her erected nipples sliding along his bare chest. He dipped his head and took it into his mouth once again, Hermione thrusting down unto him harder from the pleasure. He lapped at the rosy bud, occasionally nipping into the sensitive flesh. It brought Hermione closer along, her thrusting become erotic as she rode his cock.

He felt his balls begin to tighten, he was so close, just one more thrust...

"WAHH!"

Hermione gripped his shoulders and pushed him, his cock slipping out of her core.

"Wh- what," Ron asked, confused and disappointed. His release dissipating. Just one more...

"The baby, Ron. It's crying," Hermione replied, all traces of passion wiped off their face from the interruption, eyes concentrated on the hallway. Damn it!

"It can wait," He tried lining up his slowly softening cock with her entrance, just wanting to finish.

She shook her and got off of him, putting her sleep wear on, "I think I'm going to go check on our nephew, love."

Definitely not going to finish Ron thought with a grimace. He flopped back down into the linen, curling his hand against his prick as Hermione walked out of their room.

He was so glad it was Saturday, his nephew didn't go to bed until four in the fucking morning! When he woke up he made his way downstairs, back hurting from the awkward angle he had slept in.

He walked into the living room to see James running around the living room with his pants down, Hermione chasing him. The little bugger thought it was the funniest thing to watch his aunt trying to chase him around like it was a game. He probably thought it was a game Ron thought.

What came next took Ron out of his tired stupor, James began to pee as he was running, Hermione looking horrified.

"JAMES! Ronald! Help me," Hermione looked exasperated. James was still laughing, harder even.

Ron ran into the living room and picked James up, tickling the little monster. He sat the boy on his lap and smiled. It wasn't so bad. A little magic could clean up the mess.

"You naughty boy," Ron said, looking into the shining eyes while ruffling the red hair. James just chuckled clinging unto his uncle. This is nice Ron thought...

Ploop.

All was quiet. Hermione looked at Ron horrified. Ron looked at James like he was holding a hippogriff.

"Rona-"Hermione warned, ready for the outburst.

"BLOODY HELL!"

Ginny and Harry decided that was the time they would make an entrance. Ron stood up, almost dropping the baby, "Wingardium Leviosa," Hermione pointed at the baby, already prepared, All three sighing in relief as Ron was still outraged.

"It fucking pooped on me!"

Ginny and Harry snickered, they've been victims before. It was always funny when it wasn't you. Ron turned around outraged, "This isn't bloody funny," Ron yelled turning on them, "look at me, I have dung running down my trousers!"

"Ron, it's just poop," Ginny replied rolling her eyes like it happened all the time, "He's done it to me and Harry before."

"Honestly, mate," Harry replied taking James from Hermione, "he thinks its the funniest thing. It's why we always put sticking charms on his diapers."

Maybe James did do it all the time.

Ron grumbled obscenities under his breath as he walked away, much to Hermione's annoyance. Definitely no children.

A week has passed by and Hermione was pleased. No more baby talk. She was setting up and getting ready to go home. She couldn't wait to see Ron. She was later than usual so he made it home before her. She flooed out of the fireplace and was greeted by an empty living room and kitchen, though the lights were on.

She could hear pouring water in the distance, Ron was showering. She made her way towards the kitchen wanting to drink some tea. She was so tired, all she wanted was a cuppa and get some sleep. As soon as she made it into the kitchen she poured herself a mug and sat at the table, there she saw an all too familiar note. It had been a while since Ron had written her one. She set her mug down and took the parchment into her hands, peering down to read. She was mysteriously nervous, though it was already the third one she had received from him.

Dear Hermione,

I know you hate discussing this, but I can't help it. I want a kid. I know you don't think we're ready but I do. I can sacrifice, love. It's been on my mind since James was here. I don't care about the nasty things the little bugger did. I can only remember the good, the giggling, the look of curiosity then looking pleased when he liked it. I want it 'Mione and I hope eventually you will too. Bloody hell, 'Mione can you picture me being a da? I can and I can't help the goofy grin it brings me. So here it goes 'Mione, for the third time...

Hermione put the note down. Even through the chaos that was James, she could remember Ron, how happy he was when he was playing with their nephew. He looked right, like he belonged. Even in moments of outrage, he reacted like how a father would. She didn't want to continue reading. She hadn't planned for a child and she didn't want to jump into things. Unfortunately, her curiosity got the best of her and she continued, knowing it could possibly change her mind...

20 Reasons Hermione Granger Should Have a Child

with Ronald Weasley

1. We're married, naturally it's the next thing to do.

2. Mum wont stop yapping about how we're the only ones who don't have kids (Charlie doesn't count). She needs to get off my back already. Help me! I mean, I cant go and have it with anybody else.

3. She has a point, even Ginny beat me to it. I know, its not a competition but still. I'm older than her!

4. Can you imagine a mini Ron running around.

5...or a mini 'Mione? It'll be bloody amazing.

6. I don't care about the crying

7. Or the pooping

8. Or even the pissing

9. And don't be shocked, but I don't mind the interrupted sex either, just as long as I get to shag you sometimes.

10. Love, I'm mature enough, I know it wont be like Scabbers, Ginny told me you told her that. I'm not a bloody child, woman!

11. I want what the rest of our family has...a family of our own.

12. I want someone who looks up to me

13. Who thinks me being clumsy is funny.

14. I want to teach it quidditch

15. Or let it be brilliant like you.

16. I'd make a great dad

17. and you a brilliant mum.

18. Blimey, I want to see those bright eyes shining at me with adoration, like I could do no wrong. I tend to disappoint people. It's nice to be admired.

19. Someone calling me daddy, or you mummy.

20. Lastly, I want to have a full house, well except for Friday nights. We need to call in all those favors from Harry and Ginny. We need to make more babies after all. It is lonely just us two with four rooms. Plus if they're full, mum wont visit so often.

Mione, please love. I need this. Its time. We have money saved up and enough vacation time to take turns staying with the kids. 'Mione I don't want you to give up your dreams but don't you think we've serviced the Ministry long enough, like they're own bloody house elves? I want to do what I want, to do it with you. Please, 'Mione? Do this for me, for us? I love you Hermione. I always will, but I have enough for one more and I'm sure you do too. Give it a try, aye? It'll be brilliant!

P.S. Seriously though, mum wont visit so often! She gets so naggy. I love you!

-Ron

Hermione didn't realize the tears until it fell like large drops unto the paper. She looked up only to meet her husbands cerulean blues shining right back, hopeful.

She strode over to him, getting on her toes to give him a chaste, loving kiss. She broke the kiss and could almost feel her doubts melt away when she saw that silly grin he always held after she read one of his letters, like the cat that got the cream. Damn, he was always so persuasive.

"We better start now then aye, love," she asked with a playful and promising tone.

Ron grinned and picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Thank you, thank you! You wont regret this 'Mione. I promise," he replied carrying her to the room almost tripping on the rug guarding their chamber's entrance, kissing her everywhere he could reach.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Ron definitely is highly persuasive.

A/N: I wanted this to be on the funny side, like the first one. I hope you guys enjoyed this one as much as the others. Let me know what you guys thought of it. As always, reviews are highly appreciated. It does only take a minute...