Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim story or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Also, if it has not already been made clear, I respect fan fiction as a great form of expression and creativity. Just remember that…

A/N: The sabbatical is over! Time to start another Scott Pilgrim fan fiction. I have not yet decided if this one belongs in the same continuity as my other ones (probably not, as the story is almost too outlandish). Hopefully though, this will provide some enjoyment. I know I'm going to enjoy writing it, if only because I get to once again write long fight sequences, and we all know that's what I'm best at. :-D So… without further ado…

Ramona Flowers vs. The Timewarp (Apella Zant Note: No... not the dance)

Chapter 1

"I really don't know if this is such a good idea."

Ramona Flowers (Status: Hoping her boyfriend doesn't end up electrocuted… or worse…) watched as Scott Pilgrim (Status: Not only ready to hook up this contraption of epicness… but also SO ready to be the hero of another ApellaZant story) bustled from one side of his small living room to the other. Usually, the room was mostly empty, but at the moment, it was crowded with electrical equipment.

"I mean… why do you NEED every game system known to man hooked to one television?" Ramona asked, her eyes following Scott around the room.

Scott stopped for a moment. Then he looked back at Ramona and shrugged his shoulders. "Because it's awesome?" he replied.

Ramona rolled her eyes, but didn't have time to press her exasperation on Scott, as Neil Nordegraf (Status: That's right… NO LONGER Young Neil… NEVER AGAIN! HAHAHA!) bounded through the door, holding a Dreamcast high in the air.

"I found it!" he yelled.

Following closely behind him, arms folded, was Stacey Pilgrim (Relationship: Sister to Scott, Girlfriend to Neil… friend of Ramona's, but not that kind of friend!). As Neil and Scott looked over the mass of video game systems, looking for a place to put the Dreamcast, she joined Ramona in the corner of the room.

"This is… there aren't words," she sighed.

"How do two slackers even have the money for all of this?" Ramona asked.

"Here!" Scott pointed to a small area of space. "We can put it right between the Famicom and the Xbox! It'll fit, right?"

"You bet!" Neil answered as he began busily hooking cables to the Dreamcast.

"Seriously… this thing is a fire hazard," Ramona said as she inspected the pile of video games (Ramona Flowers Note: They have a Gameboy Advance? How did they hook a Gameboy Advance to the television?).

Scott wasn't paying attention though. He was busily turning on all of the systems, one by one. The NES… the Super NES… the Playstation… the Sega CD… on he went turning each system on in turn.

Stacey looked on in horror. "Okay… the fact that you have them all connected to the television is okay, but why in the world would you want to turn them all on at once?" she questioned.

"We just want to see what'll happen," Neil answered her, joining Scott in turning on machines.

"What do you think will happen?" Stacey demanded. "Do you think it's gonna rip some hole in the space time continuum or something?"

"Actually, I think this'll just make the electric bill impossible to pay this month," Ramona added as she walked over toward Neil.

"Hey Ramona!" Scott said (Scott Pilgrim Note: Obviously doesn't care about his electric bill). "You wanna do the honors?"

"Honors for what?" Ramona replied.

"Turn on the last system," Neil answered. He pointed to the Dreamcast, the only console in the mass of electronics that wasn't humming to life.

Ramona thought for a moment. "If I do that… will you please take all of this apart and choose ONE game system to play at a time… I'd even settle for two."

Scott and Neil looked at each other in disappointment, but slowly nodded.

"Okay… so how do you turn this thing on?" Ramona began examining the Dreamcast. It didn't take her very long at all to find the power button (Ramona Flowers Note: I may not know video games well… but I can at least turn the crap on!). She pushed it and the Dreamcast began whirring.

Ramona then turned back and smiled at Scott, but his smile faded almost as soon as she found it.

"Wait… oh no... what have we done?" he pleaded.

Ramona glanced around her. The machines were all running, and all of them were beginning to take on an otherworldly glow. Sparks began to fly around her. She looked again in panic at Scott and Neil. Stacey yelled for her to get away.

Then the world went white. Something pulled Ramona backwards so hard it knocked the air out of her, and then everything went black…

…

"Ungh…" Ramona groaned as feeling came back to her. There was a pain in her ribs, where it felt like she'd been smacked by a truck. As she opened her eyes, she blinked at the sudden brightness. Somehow, she'd ended up outside. She slowly turned over on the asphalt, for the moment just glad she could feel something on her hands again.

"What happened?" she asked no one in particular.

A vaguely familiar voice answered her. "You look like hell, Rammy…"

Ramona slowly turned her head toward the voice. She couldn't make out the face behind it. Her eyes were still adjusting to the bright sun she'd been thrown into. In fact… she thought she remembered it being cloudy when she'd gone to Scott's apartment… and it had been July, which was contradicted by the coldness of the asphalt under her hands.

Finally, Ramona could make out a silouehette. The form was feminine… short (Ramona Flowers Note: Maybe a bit chubby?)… hair up in pigtails…

Ramona's eyes grew wider as more recognizable features came into view. Blonde hair… black eye makeup… black hoodie….

"R… Roxie?" Ramona gasped.

"Glad it didn't take you three guesses," Roxie answered as she knelt down next to Ramona.

"But… but..." Panic was creeping into Ramona's voice. It was impossible. She'd seen Roxie killed, by Scott… so how was she…

"How am I alive?" Roxie answered her unspoken question. "I'm not."

"So… am I…" Ramona started another question.

"Are you dead?" Roxie raised an eyebrow. "No… you're not, despite that goof's best efforts."

"So… where am I?" Ramona asked sleepily.

Roxie scoffed. "He must be rubbing off on you or something… you're still in Toronto," she answered. "That's not the question we're worried about…"

Ramona sat up stiffly. Her ribs protested every time she moved, but the pain was slowly beginning to dull. "What do you mean?"

Roxie stood up and once again her face was masked by the light coming from behind her (Ramona Flowers Note: That's Roxie for ya… always dramatic). "The question isn't where you are… it's WHEN."

Ramona's eyes popped open. "When?"

"I don't know how… but it looks like your little boyfriend managed to tear a hole in the space time continuum (Stacey Pilgrim Note: See? I knew it was a bad idea!). And somehow… YOU got thrown through it," Roxie answered.

"So why are you here?" Ramona said as she began to cautiously get up. She knew, if a fight was coming, it would be better if she was standing for it.

"How should I know?" Roxie replied. "You'll have to ask the author, but I figure I'm here because I'm the only ex that wouldn't kill you on sight after the hell you put us through."

"Why wouldn't it be any of my friends?" Ramona asked. "Why would it be you?"

"You don't have any friends, Rammy," Roxie said with just a hint of a smile. "I just said you traveled back in time. You haven't met your friends yet."

"Well then… why don't I just go meet them?" Ramona said.

Roxie grimaced. "I'm afraid it's not like that…"

"No… it isn't," Ramona replied, now starting to steel up her nerve. "I'm dreaming… I have to be. There's no way a bunch of video game systems sent me back in time, but even if they did, I'm not taking help from you. I'll go find Kim… or Stephen (Scott Pilgrim Note: …Stills… and why am I not the hero of this story? WHY APELLA ZANT?)… not you. You'd love nothing better than to see me and Scott apart."

Ramona turned on her heel and almost knocked into another woman.

"HEY! Watch where you're going, XXXXX!"

Ramona looked at the woman now standing in front of her. Recognition again flowed through her.

"Julie?" Ramona said.

Julie Powers (Status: On her way to work… leave her alone!) put her hands on her hips. "And how do YOU know my name?" she demanded.

Ramona stopped. It couldn't be. She whipped back around to look at Roxie, but she was gone. Ramona quickly turned back to Julie. "Umm…"

"Look… if you're done being crazy, some of us have jobs to get to," Julie spat as she pushed past Ramona and started walking away.

"Wait Julie!" Ramona yelled after her.

Julie turned around and crossed her arms. "What?"

"Do you know where Scott is?" Ramona asked in a smaller voice than she was used to using with Julie.

Something flashed in Julie's eyes, but before Ramona could think too hard about it, Julie started in on her. "Scott Pilgrim? That clueless lady killer jerky jerk? He's at his little XXXXhole apartment with Wallace Wells, I imagine."

"What?" Ramona's jaw dropped.

"If I were you, I'd stay away from him… he's nothing but trouble," Julie continued. Then she began walking away again. "Trust me," she yelled over her shoulder as she disappeared into a music store.

Ramona stood still for a long moment before being roused again by the voice of Roxie Richter.

"What?" Roxie said. "You didn't believe me? Typical…"

"No…" Ramona said slowly. "I'm dreaming… I have to be… there's no way this could happen!"

"I'm telling you…" Roxie started.

"NO!" Ramona yelled as she broke into a run. She sprinted past Honest Ed's (Ramona Flowers Note: But… but…). She looked all around for a subspace door, but if there were any, they weren't where she remembered them. As she silently cursed to herself, she wondered if whatever cosmic event had been different had somehow affected the position of the subspace doors. After finally finding a cut across through Hillcrest Park, she bounded up those familiar stairs and went to knock on the door when someone opened the door.

"Sco…" Ramona's voice cut off in her throat.

"Can I help you?" Hollie Hawkes stood in front of her.

"Umm… can you tell me where Scott Pilgrim is?" Ramona ventured.

"Scott Pilgrim?" Hollie said with a smirk. "You're a girl… who wants Scott Pilgrim?"

"Yes?" Ramona said, suddenly very unsure of herself.

Hollie suppressed a laugh. "Well… he lives with Wallace Wells a few blocks that way," she said as she pointed north.

"Thanks…" Ramona was still confused from the entire exchange.

"Good luck," Hollie said as she closed the door.

…

Ramona was almost numb by the time she reached that familiar front door. She wasn't sure if it was from the cold, or the revelations that had been made, but she didn't really care. The only person who could stop this nightmare lay (Ramona Flowers Note: From the position of the sun, quite possibly literally) on the other side of the metal door.

She reached for the door. As she watched her hand, she could see it shaking. She drew back. What was wrong with her? She was dreaming… this couldn't be real… at worst she was in some coma with everyone gathered around her, and seeing Scott would finally rouse her and she'd be back home, with her friends. She knocked on the door.

A few moments later, the door opened a crack. "Hello?" a voice said from inside.

Ramona's heart literally leapt at the sound of the voice. "Scott?"

"Yeah?" Scott opened the door a little more, squinting into the sun.

Ramona didn't answer. She was waiting to wake up. After a few moments of awkward silence, Scott finally spoke.

"Umm… who are you?"

Ramona's jaw dropped. The words were like a white hot stake to her heart. And she hadn't woken up… this… this was real.

"I'm… Ramona Flowers…" she said softly.

"Oh… hi Ramona," Scott said with a smile. "What do you want?"

"You don't remember me…" Ramona replied.

Scott looked confused. "No… should I?"

"I'm your girlfriend," Ramona pleaded.

Something flashed across Scott's face. "Umm… I don't think so… but you ARE kind of pretty… hey… do you think you'd wanna hang out sometime?"

"What?" It was Ramona's turn to be confused. Even with everything she knew, hearing those words come out of Scott's mouth still jolted her. "But… we already have…"

Scott turned his head to the side, grimacing. "No… I don't know who you are, but I'd really like to know," he said.

"Fine… meet me at Hillcrest at 7?" Ramona finally said, flustered.

"How did you know I was going to say that?" Scott said.

"Intuition," Ramona answered. "And tell you what… don't be late… I'm not going to be late, and it's cold."

Scott smiled. "Okay! Sounds great! See you then!"

Ramona sighed as Scott closed the door. As she turned to walk away, she once again saw Roxie, who was shaking her head.

"Okay… I believe you… how do I get back home?" Ramona asked in a flurry as she walked toward Roxie.

Roxie just continued to shake her head. "You shouldn't have done that Rammy…"

Suddenly, Ramona was shoved hard into a nearby tree! As she tried to recover, she was smacked several times across the face. The blows stunned her, but she finally managed to block one of the punches and spin away from the contact. As she whirled toward her attacker again, her eyes went wide.

"JULIE?" she said incredulously.

Julie Powers was standing in front of her, fists up in a fighting pose. "I SPECIFICALLY told you not to mess with Scott!" she yelled as she rushed forward, swinging wildly.

Ramona easily stayed ahead of Julie's punches, but refused to counterattack. Julie finally managed to connect with a punch and then kneed Ramona hard in the ribs, driving the air out of her.

"You've got to fight her Rammy!" Roxie yelled from the sidelines.

"I can't fight Julie!" Ramona wheezed as she spun away from another of Julie's knees.

"Then you're going to die!" Julie screamed as she followed Ramona.

Julie continued to swing at Ramona, seemingly never tiring. Ramona dodged one punch, then another. Her mind was racing, but there was no solution she could see that didn't involve hurting Julie.

"You look like you could use help, Ramona," Roxie said.

"Then help me!" Ramona screamed.

"That's what I was waiting for," Roxie said under her breath as she drew her sword. Then she yelled for Julie's attention. "Hey! Four eyes!"

"What?" Ramona and Julie said in unison.

Julie didn't have long to be offended (Julie Powers Note: Seriously… "four eyes?" I haven't heard that one since grade school…), as Roxie was immediately on her, swiping this way and that with her sword. "Need your little girlfriend to save you, Ramona?" she yelled.

"Ex-girlfriend," Roxie said through her teeth. "A lot like you."

Julie was about to reply with a smart aleck remark (Ramona Flowers Note: What other remark does Julie know how to reply with?), but suddenly Roxie disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Julie looked with surprise at Ramona before Roxie appeared in another cloud of smoke behind her, stabbing her from behind with the sword!

Ramona was about to scream her protest, not wanting to see her friend impaled, but she was cut off as Julie exploded into a few dozen coins. Ramona could then only look on in shock as Roxie put her sword back in its sheath.

"Wha… wha…" Ramona stammered.

"What happened?" Roxie ventured. "What was that? What kind of place have you landed in?"

"All of the above?" Ramona replied.

"I already told you where you are… you're in the past." Roxie stated.

"A past where Julie Powers has lost her XXXX mind?"

Roxie bit her lip. "Okay… I may not have been ENTIRELY honest with you…"

The shock was too much. Ramona sat down on the ground. Roxie walked to her and sat down facing her as Ramona looked down at the snow.

"This is more than the past… it's an alternate timeline," Roxie admitted.

"Okay… that makes even less sense," Ramona said.

"This is a fan fiction of a story that was fanciful enough already," Roxie replied. "Why did you expect it to make sense?"

"Fair enough…" Ramona cautiously agreed (Apella Zant Note: I resent that…).

"There's some event in the past that is slightly different from the version in YOUR timeline… and it's caused a multitude of effects," Roxie said. "Not the least of which… Scott is the one with evil exes this time."

"So… Julie was Scott first evil ex-girlfriend? I didn't even know they dated…" Ramona said.

"I'm not sure… I suppose that COULD be in that 'multitude of effects," Roxie said thoughtfully.

"So… how do I get home then? CAN I get home?" Ramona pleaded.

"You can," Roxie answered. "All you have to do is defeat Scott's evil ex-girlfriends, probably through making him fall in love with you all over again."

"Okay…" Ramona said slowly, trying to make sense of everything in her mind. "Who do I fight next then?"

"How the hell should I know?" Roxie demanded. "I don't know that goof's whole dating history."

A thought occurred to Ramona. "Wait… if this is an alternate timeline… will I run into myself?"

"No," Roxie said flatly. "Only one version of a character can exist in a universe. When you appeared here, this timeline's Ramona was phased out. I'd imagine the same thing happened with this timeline's Roxie."

Ramona digested that for a moment. She had a moment of mild curiosity at what her life would have been like with the effects of whatever difference there was between the timelines. For that matter, she wondered what this timeline's Roxie was like.

"So… let me get this right," Ramona started. "In order to get back to my own life and my friends… I have to defeat Scott's evil exes?"

"That's right," Roxie said as she started to get up.

Ramona looked back down at the snow. She said a mental prayer that the events of this timeline would change the parts of Scott's dating history she knew about from her own time. "Alright… so what next?"

Roxie offered her a hand to help her up. "Well… as much as I hate to say it, you've got a date with Scott Pilgrim to get ready for, so let's go to your new old apartment."

Ramona looked at Roxie's hand. Goodness knows she didn't expect help of this kind, but she was glad she had it. She took Roxie's hand and stood up, brushing the snow off of herself before the two walked off in the direction of where her old apartment had been.

…

What the hell just happened? I have no idea, but somehow, it looks like Ramona got blown into a completely different timeline. But, as always seems to be the case in my stories, that begs some questions. Namely… what event could cause such a difference as to completely switch Scott and Ramona's roles in the story? Why is Roxie trying to help Ramona? And did Scott really date Julie (Apella Zant Note: *shudder*)(Ramona Flowers Note: You're tellin' me…)? You know the drill by now… stay tuned to find out!