A sadder way Lisbon and Jane could turn out…and, unfortunately, something that really, if you looked at all the facts, could happen. Read and Review People!
Oh, and I own NOTHING…..wish I did though! =)
ONE LAST LIE.
"Lisbon" Jane pleaded. "Lisbon, PLEASE talk to me"
Lisbon didn't answer, her green eyes staring resolutely at the wall behind Jane's head.
She didn't want to be here. Not one bit.
She'd avoided this moment for weeks, four and a half actually, but one of those was spent in hospital and the other two at home on medical leave.
She'd only just gotten back to the CBI building one week and four days ago.
And now…..she was here, in the LAST place she wanted to be, standing in front of her best friend as he looked up at her, blue eyes full of disbelief as she refused to speak.
Talking meant she forgave him, talking meant that she accepted what he did.
She didn't.
He'd KILLED a man. All those years spent trying to fix him, to make him see that there was so much MORE to life, wasted.
All those days, all those nights…those weeks and months and YEARS spent trying to fix him amounted to nothing.
She couldn't begin to describe how hurt she was, how BETRAYED.
She'd thought they were friends.
He'd PROMISED to always be there for her, to protect her. How the hell was he supposed to accomplish that behind bars?
She didn't let herself react to his pleading, his begging…she was only here because Van Pelt asked her to be.
And after all her Junior Agent had been through, Lisbon couldn't refuse her this.
"He's asking about you" Van Pelt had said, her wide, innocent brown eyes full of pain she shouldn't have had to bear.
Lisbon's eyebrows furrowed reflexively at the memory-no, she couldn't deny Van Pelt. So, even though it hurt like hell, she had gone to see Jane three times already.
It was always the same each time-she'd walk in, and just stare at the wall, ignoring her best friend as he implored her to speak to him, to LOOK at him.
She couldn't.
Mostly because she didn't want to see the LACK of regret in his eyes. Oh, she knew he wasn't sorry that he'd killed Red John, but she didn't want to face it.
Facing it would mean accepting that she wasn't important to him, that she'd just been a pawn in his long game with Red John.
So Lisbon never looked at him, never spoke, never acknowledged his presence. For half an hour, twice a week, she'd go in there and then leave, feeling a sort of sick, twisted satisfaction that he was hurt by her actions.
Maybe, just maybe, he understood what she felt a little.
They were postponing the trial for as long as possible.
The DA wanted to wait until the Media forgot, and stopped painting him as a hero, to have a trial that wasn't influenced by Public Support.
Lisbon wasn't fazed by it. Justice would be served, eventually. Jane would go to jail for his crimes, and she'd move on.
"What do you want me to say Lisbon? That I'm SORRY?" Jane asked bitterly.
Lisbon didn't respond, perfectly still.
"Well, I'm NOT. You KNEW this was coming, you had warning-" Lisbon sighed mentally and tuned him out.
He'd tried to wind her up in recent visits, still hoping to get a response.
Lisbon had learnt something in all those years working with him though. She had thick skin, and as long as she didn't look at him, she'd be fine.
She was getting better at holding it together, at ignoring him and at quelling the hurt inside.
She'd come to terms with what he did-not to Red John, but to her team.
He'd integrated himself into their lives, played them all and done it single-mindedly to achieve his goal.
He'd changed all of them on the way, and now that Lisbon looked back on it, it hadn't necessarily been for the better.
She'd been so by-the-book once, a straight-laced, no-nonsense, down-to-earth cop. Honest, trustworthy, reliable…
Then she'd broken and bent every rule to accommodate Jane, doing it all for a dazzling smile or a playful wink.
Lisbon had been utterly and completely enraptured by him, infatuated almost. He'd played on that to meet his own ends.
What happened to her morals, her integrity and her independence? She'd been a good cop once, but then she relied too much on Jane, and lost her insights into cases, lost that once state-famous 'Lisbon Intuition', where she would find a Murderer through a combination of her own gut feelings and tried-and-true cop methods.
But that was just her.
Cho had been a brilliant Agent. He had an unblemished record, a well-known master interrogator…he was going places. Two, maybe three more years, and he would have been snapped up by the FBI, or given a team of his own.
Rigsby had been much the same. A little too obsessed with food, but he had the making of a brilliant Agent.
And Van Pelt…..oh, Lisbon had seen her potential the moment she laid eyes on the gorgeous redhead. Smart, street-wise and patient, she could have amounted to so much MORE.
Lisbon once had high hopes for Van Pelt.
Now, all three had been corrupted by Jane. They were 'wild cards', 'rogue agents', and no one but Lisbon would keep them. No one would hire people who were well-known for going against direct orders. It was too dangerous, they were too…unpredictable.
"-I don't WANT your approval Lisbon-" Lisbon thought about talking, to surprise him and shut him up….but he'd just smile that smug smile, and think he'd won.
Lisbon stayed silent, and checked her watch.
Oh good, her time was up.
She walked out, and nodded to the guard, who walked her out as Jane was put back in her cell.
"Still not speaking Agent?" He asked. Lisbon shrugged.
"I have nothing to say" She said simply.
She pushed down the hurt and guilt inside as she saw Rigsby's accusing glare as he waited for her in the SUV outside the prison.
She closes her eyes for a moment, trying to control the anger…the anger at Jane and the anger at herself.
She was supposed to fix him.
All she ended up doing was breaking herself.
It's been three months since she started visiting, and Jane has tried everything.
He's begged, he's screamed, he's shouted and now he's begging again.
She's not listening, but not because she's forcing herself too, but because she simply doesn't care.
She's truly indifferent to him now, and he hasn't realized it yet.
He thinks she's still angry, hurt and BETRAYED, but she's past that now. She realized a while ago that to him, it was all a game.
She was no more than putty in his hands, something to be molded, bent and shaped to his will. They all had been.
Objectively, she thinks it was a little cruel of him to integrate himself into their lives, knowing full well he wouldn't be around for them forever.
And it was a little stupid of them to be taken in by his flashy smile, his parlour tricks and his bright, sparkling eyes that always hid a little madness.
It was stupid of her to have tried to save him, and even stupider to have fallen in love with him.
Oh, how she had fallen. She'd hung off his every word, gone to giant lengths for just a smile….
Lisbon wanted to smile a wry smile-she was an idiot.
Her father once said there was a fine line between love and hate. Well, Lisbon had crossed it, and then ceased to care.
Because, honestly, she doesn't see the point. She doesn't care about him anymore.
She tried so hard for so long to help him, to fix him and piece him back together….and now she was ready to give up the job.
Saving Patrick Jane was impossible, and too much trouble. It wasn't worth it, and it never had been.
Jane had been right all that time ago-sometimes there were some things you just couldn't fix.
Lisbon wanted to laugh ironically.
All the energy that Jane was putting in to fixing whatever…twisted relationship they had was futile. It was broken, forever. Unfixable, like him.
She wondered idly if he'd gotten the memo yet.
Judging by his behavior, he obviously hadn't.
Lisbon sighed and examined her fingernails. It was boring, standing here and listening to Jane grovel and plead for her to speak.
"Lisbon I'm SORRY"
Lisbon tensed slightly.
That caught her off guard.
Through all of this, he'd never apologized. Not. Once.
Something inside Lisbon….snapped. It was like the last, tiny thread connecting her to Jane had been broken once and for all.
She was…free.
Finally free.
Free of all that hurt and betrayal, free of the being led around and played and tricked and nearly FIRED.
She was free of the emotional baggage, of the need to fix him and of…..everything.
She was finally free of HIM.
Lisbon smiled then, and laughed.
That final lie, those three words, had freed her of him forever.
"No you're not" She said firmly. Jane looked confused-that was a first.
"But do you know what? I don't care" She was grinning now,a slightly manic grin, looking Jane right in the eye so he knew she wasn't lying.
"Lisbon-" He whispered, his voice thick with emotion. Lisbon ignored the sorrow in his voice, still high on the feeling of complete and total FREEDOM.
"I honestly….don't care….and do you know what Jane?" She asked. Jane looked up at her, eyes wide and full of disbelief.
"Lisbon-"His voice cracked on that one word. Lisbon didn't hear it-he didn't know what he had, until he had lost it.
"Not caring…..it feels good" Lisbon walked out of the Cell, ignoring the pleas for her to come back, and she grinned like a madman.
The burden she had been carrying for the better part of seven years had been lifted. She was….free.
Jane, in that last ditch effort to regain her, had finally let her go. No more running around after him, no more being pushed and tricked, no more betrayal and anger….
He had freed her, with one, last lie.
Woah….angsty and depressing much?
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Lotsa love-BlackCatFullMoon