Reason 21

They're quick to point out, "Look, there ain't anyone else here banging down your door."

"What in the name of whatever deity you choose to insert here, are you doing showing up at my apartment door at ungodly-dark-hundred in the morning, McGarrett? And stop grinning like a dog who just got his favorite chew toy."

"I've finished my Saturday To-Do List, so I thought maybe you might have a To-Do List I could work on."

"Are you—it's six-thirty on a Saturday morning and you've already finished your To-Do's?"

"Wasn't much on the list."

"Let me guess, and just come in, will you? Neighbors do not need to see me in my altogether. Let me guess what you did this morning between your rise and shine some time around four-thirty and now."

"Okay."

"I will guess that you cleaned your entire arsenal of weapons, even though you cleaned them just last Saturday and, barring any clandestine, covert operations you've been performing while normal people sleep, haven't been used since then."

"That's a pretty good guess."

"And, and, I would say you have probably cleaned your entire house from the very tip-top to the corners around the front door."

"I'm not quite that anal retentive, Danny, but yeah, I did some cleaning."

"Right, and I suppose you've done your laundry already, too."

"No, Sunday's laundry day, you know that. You come over to my place to do it!"

"Good. Just making sure I didn't miss out on quarter-free washing."

"Want to know what else I did this morning?"

"Judging by the fact that you're bouncing on the balls of your feet like Grace does when she wants an ice cream cone, I'll bet it was something that you deem superbly fantastic."

"It was! Is, I mean. Is."

"Okay, well, while I'm making myself some coffee since obviously I'm not allowed to sleep in on my days off, why don't you tell me what's got your skirt blown up? Bad choice of words."

"Well, it's, uh, something I did at my house. I'd like to show you, you know?"

"McGarrett, really? This couldn't have waited four more hours so I could, I don't know, actually get some more sleep?"

"But it's something specifically to do with you. In a way."

"You're making a new face."

"What?"

"A new face. What is that face, and why have I never seen it before?"

"Well, what's with your tone?"

"I do not have a—"

"Yes, you do."

"Oh, my God, you know, you're really impossible. Why do you do this to me on my days off? For all you know, I could've had a hot date last night, could've had someone sleeping here in my bed and then have my partner waltz in saying he wants to take me home-"

"I didn't say I wanted to take you home, Danny—"

"And how, why is it my life that you are always the one barging into it?"

"Well, it's not like you have anyone else beating your door down!"

"That's because you scare everyone off!"

"I don't do it intentionally!"

"Unfortunately, I believe that completely. All right. All right, but you have to let me shower and get some coffee into my veins, and get some food into my stomach before—"

"I made breakfast."

"Come again? You're mumbling, why are you mumbling?"

"I made breakfast. It's at my house. On the warmer."

"You made breakfast."

"Yes."

"Out of what, poi?"

"No, Danny, that's not breakfast food, it's a—"

"Spare me, it doesn't taste like anything, I've tried it. So what's this breakfast, then? Protein shakes? Granola bars? Cream o' Wheat?"

"I don't eat Cream o' Wheat, Danny."

"Right. Too many carbs or something, probably."

"Actually—no, never mind. Just…never mind."

"Wait, where are you going? You promised me breakfast!"

"Well, get in the shower and you'll get some!"

"That did not sound right, Steven."

"Good. I'll wait in the truck."

"You? Are a nutcase."

"Thank you."

"Why are we going to your second floor?"

"Because, Danny, that's where the thing I did this morning is."

"Okay, you know what? That's just TMI, my friend, there are some things a man does that his partner absolutely does not need to—"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Danno."

"Okay, okay, fine, show me, then."

"Open this door."

"Isn't this Mary's old room?"

"It was Mary's old room. Open it."

"Fine, fine, oh—my. You painted."

"Yes."

"And redecorated."

"I did."

"And why is my daughter's name stenciled onto the wall above a brand-new canopy bed?"

"Because it's her room."

"Her…what?"

"Well, you know, she and I had a talk the other day when we were going through Mary's toys and books, you know, when you brought her over for some beach and barbecue with the team, and she said she wished she could have a room like that."

"So you conspired with my daughter to give her a bedroom of her own in your house? Does none of that seem odd to you, giving your partner's daughter a bedroom in your house?"

"Um…no. Well, it's not like it'll get used by anyone else, Danny."

"You know, I see this for what it is. I see it so clearly and if I didn't love my baby girl so much, I would string you both up by your toenails from the nearest coconut tree."

"What are you talking about?"

"This is an attempt to get me to come over here every single time I have Grace, because now she knows she has her own room in my partner's house, she will not want to stay in my apartment with me. You are seriously disturbed, you're rubbing off on her. You are not a good influence, and you are taking way too many liberties with my father/daughter time, McGarrett."

"So…you don't like the room? Grace picked everything out."

"That's low. That is so low. I really do not like you right now."

"Well, when you go to pick her up today, don't tell her that. She thinks you like me a lot."

"She…why would she think that?"

"How would I know? It's just what she said."

"Okay, you and Grace? No more alone time together. As in, ever. And now I want that breakfast you promised me."

"Sure, come on. So you, uh…you like the room?"

"It's beautiful, Steve, really. I'm sure she'll squeal loud enough for Maui to hear, maybe even Los Angeles, when she sees it. But where exactly am I supposed to sleep? And why exactly is it you're grinning like a Cheshire cat?"

"Because there are two more bedrooms, Danno. I'll show them to you after breakfast."

"Oh, my God, you made me a bedroom, didn't you? Oh, my God, this is so wrong on so many levels."

"Just eat your breakfast, Danny."

"Sausage? Eggs? Toast? Bacon? And pancakes? Holy shit, you can cook?"

"Of course I can cook. Now, you and Grace, you're staying here tonight, right? In your new rooms?"

"In our new…I do not know what to do with you. But you'd better watch it, or I'll start showing up at the most inopportune times, like when your pretty lieutenant is visiting."

"She, uh…won't be here anymore. She's gotten herself engaged to someone."

"Oh. Well, I might just have to make my visits even more frequent, then."

"Okay, maybe making the rooms for you and Grace was a mistake. It wasn't an invitation to move in, just a place that's nice to keep Grace at."

"What if I like it so much I just won't leave? Houseguest from hell who's desperate for a real bed, that's me. Besides, it'll keep you from getting lonely."

"I don't get lonely."

"Yes, you do. That is why you get up at two-thirty in the morning—"

"You said four-thirty before."

"Yes, but now that I've seen what your To-Do List entailed, I've revised my estimate. You are lonely, you can't sleep, you paint rooms and clean your house and God knows what else and then come to wake me up at six-thirty on my day off."

"So? What makes you think that means I want you hanging around here all the time?"

"Well, let's face it, McGarrett. It's not like anyone else is banging down your door."

Author's Note: Well, folks, that's the end of this list of reasons! I hope you've all enjoyed these, they were an awful lot of fun to dream up!