Title: If You Ever Have Need

Fandom: Merlin

Rating: T

Warnings: Slight violence and mild language. No beta. All mistakes are my own

Pairings: Mostly Merlin/Arthur friendship. Some mentions of Arthur/Gwen romance. No Slash

Spoilers: Through the end of season 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the world of Camelot. They belong to BBC.

Summary: When yet another creature attacks Camelot, Merlin is forced to reveal his powers. Unable to kill his closest friend, Arthur sends him away. What does that mean for their destiny?

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. It was a combination of a very hectic life that didn't leave me even the least bit of time for writing and then the first half of this chapter was an absolute pain to write.

Chapter 16: Beginning

Merlin and Gwen stood outside the king's chambers, waiting for something to happen. They'd been stopped at the door when they arrived with Arthur and Morgana as the king, apparently wished to speak to Arthur first and Morgana simply wouldn't take no for an answer. That had been nearly twenty minutes ago. Both Merlin and Gwen were becoming more anxious.

"I'm sure it will be fine," said Gwen, as much to reassure herself as to reassure Merlin. "You've done nothing wrong."

Merlin glanced toward the guards before answering in a low, barely audible voice, "Since when has Uther actually needed proof to condemn someone, Gwen? And I did go running into his chambers and send him to sleep. Someone less paranoid than the king could find a way to blame me for all of this."

She didn't have an answer to that. It was all too true. With nothing else to do, Gwen slid her hand into Merlin's. He took it with a grateful smile.

The time ticked by slowly. The two friends stood side by said, saying nothing. Both tried not to think about what might happen to Merlin. They both knew that he could escape, that he could protect himself, but neither of them wanted it to come to that. The past few months had been difficult enough. If Merlin had to flee, it might well be years before he could return.

Arthur and Morgana stood on either side of the king's bed. Morgana was playing the concerned ward perfectly. She was fussing over Uther, smoothing his blankets and rearranging his pillows. Arthur stood rigidly near the foot of the bed. His face was carefully blank, but Morgana knew that he was as worried as she was.

"Are you all right, father?" he asked.

"I believe so," said Uther coldly. "What happened?"

Arthur quickly launched into the tale he, Merlin, Morgana, and Gwen had agreed on. He was careful not to make it sound rehearsed. Morgana jumped in, giving details he "missed" and correcting him. They made it sound as though Merlin had heard about the attack from some men and women who had managed to escape when he was returning to the city. Concerned for Gaius, he'd hurried onward. Upon his arrival, word had reached him that something was happening in the throne room. He'd snuck in during the fight between Morgause and Emrys. He'd pulled Morgana and Gwen out of the way of falling debris (Morgana went on about that in great detail) and kept them out of the way while Emrys ended the fight. The sorcerer himself disappeared moments after Morgause did, taking the other sorcerers with him.

"That does not explain why that boy came bursting into my personal chambers mere moment before I succumbed to a sleep that lasted for two days," the king growled.

"When Gaius fully described the effects of the illness that was affecting the city Merlin remembered an old story," Arthur hurried to explain, "about a witch who used a crystal to drain the life of a nearby village. He remembered that Morgause had a crystal."

"How convenient," Uther muttered.

"We're lucky Merlin put it together," said Morgana. "He warned us just in time. Morgause began draining the people for enough strength to raze the kingdom. You were one of the first to succumb."

"There was a disturbance downstairs," interjected Arthur. "We all went running and we found Morgause on the floor above the cells. We took her by surprise, but she very nearly killed us then and there. It's only luck that she wasn't paying any attention to Merlin. He managed to get close enough to grab the pendant from her neck and smash it on the ground."

"It nearly killed him," added Morgana, looking absolutely distraught. "He was thrown across the hall. Morgause shrieked and then she collapsed."

"She doesn't have power anymore. Gaius thinks she bound herself too closely to the crystal or something like that," said Arthur. "We have her down in the dungeons. There were some casualties. Many of those who were older or very young were greatly affected by her spell. Some of them didn't survive."

"And the boy?"

Arthur and Morgana exchanged the briefest look. "He was badly injured when he was throne across the hall," Arthur explained carefully. "Gaius saw to him. He was unconscious for two days."

"He is not imprisoned?" the king snarled.

Arthur made a show of looking confused. "Why would he be?"

"Are you really this naïve? He returned to the city at the same that a mysterious sorcerer, your so-called Emrys, drags you into the throne room. He was conveniently the only one who recognized this crystal. He came out as the hero in this, and that doesn't strike as the least bit suspicious?" He was nearly shouting by the time he finished.

"Uther, you know the boy," said Morgana. "He's harmless. You yourself appointed him to the household because he saved Arthur's life. Merlin drank poison for Arthur. He's been by Arthur's side through thick and thin. You can't possibly believe he'd be involved in this! Half the city is talking about what he did to stop Morgause."

"Much can happen in the course of five months," Uther snarled. He pushed himself up on his pillows. Morgana immediately fluttered around him again. "This Emrys may have approached him."

Arthur glared at his father. "That's absurd, father. Merlin wouldn't do anything to hurt Camelot. He's got too many friends here. He considers it his home. What's more, Merlin has been there alongside me against magic more times than I can count. I know that he would not aid a sorcerer."

"You cannot say that for sure," said Uther dismissively. "How well can you possibly know a servant?"

"Well enough," growled Arthur. "I've spent nearly every day with him for two years. Merlin is loyal. Insanely so. I will not have him punished for selflessly risking his life for this kingdom!"

"I will not have this kingdom fall to magic!"

"Magic has nothing to do with this!" cried Morgana. "If you punish Merlin for selflessly sacrificing himself to save everyone in this city, you will lose the faith of the people. How can they trust you if you punish someone who did not but save the kingdom?"

"That is enough," Uther snapped. "I'll hear no more of this."

Arthur stepped forward, slipping unconsciously into the warrior-prince who gave orders on the battlefield. "Neither will I. Merlin is my friend, servant or no, and he ran headfirst into danger for this kingdom. That is not an act that is punishable under the law."

The king eyed his son dispassionately. Arthur stared back. He knew how it looked for Merlin. He also knew that his father was jumping to conclusions because of his own insane prejudice and refusing to even consider any other possibilities. Whether Merlin had magic or not, he was not a villain. Arthur would not let anything happen to his friend.

"Call him in."

The tension, already almost palpable, rose. Morgana went rigid. Her hands gripped the front of her dress convulsively and Arthur thought he saw the barest hint of gold in her eyes. Arthur nodded once to his father and went to the door.

Gwen and Merlin were standing against the wall not far down the hall. They both looked pale and they jumped slightly when the door creaked. Arthur wished that he could say something reassuring, but not with his father listening. Merlin paled further, but he straightened his shoulders and followed Arthur back into the king's chambers.

He stopped just behind Arthur, keeping his head bowed respectfully, playing the perfects servant that he very much wasn't.

"Step forward," the king ordered.

Merlin did, making sure to keep his head down.

"Look at me, boy."

Reluctantly, he did. For a long moment, no one said anything. Merlin fidgeted slightly, but kept the king's gaze. Morgana glanced between them anxiously.

"My son seems to think that you are a hero," said Uther abruptly, after such a long period of silence that Merlin startled at the sound of his voice. Even Arthur and Morgana started. "He seems to think that you could never be tempted to betray this kingdom. What have you to say for yourself?"

"Nothing, sire," said Merlin quietly. "I consider this my home as much as Ealdor. Gwen is a friend, I respect Lady Morgana, and my loyalty is to Arthur. I would never let them come to harm. "

"What is your view on magic?"

Arthur drew in a sharp breath. He could only hope that Merlin could be convincing. If he didn't manage to pull this off, the king would have him killed.

"I believe that it's illegal," said Merlin carefully. "It's done a lot of harm to Camelot. I would never help a sorcerer."

Uther's scowl deepened. "A carefully worded answer. Exactly what I would expect of a traitor."

Merlin was practically vibrating with fear. He was impossibly tense. Every line of his body radiated fear. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to bolt or fall through the floor and given his propensity for magic, the latter might very well happen. Making sure that the king couldn't see him, Arthur grabbed the back of Merlin's shirt to make sure that he didn't do something stupid. He knew that, no matter how panicked he was, Merlin wouldn't do anything to put him in danger. Arthur glanced over Merlin's shoulder at Morgana. She looked as though she was about to jump forward and place herself between Uther and Merlin. Arthur caught her eye and shook his head. The last thing Merlin needed was for the king to think that there was an inappropriate relationship between Merlin and Morgana.

Uther noticed none of this.

"Both the Lady Morgana and Prince Arthur have spoken on your behalf," he said. "For that reason, and that reason alone am I allowing you to walk free. Mark me, boy. I will be watching you. If you give me even the smallest reason to suspect that you are fraternizing with sorcerers, if you even neglect your duties, I will have your head before the sun sets. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sire. Thank you, sire. I'll not disappoint you," Merlin managed to stammer out, bowing awkwardly with gratitude.

"Get him out of my sight," the king snarled.

Merlin bowed again and very nearly sprinted out of the room.

"Thank you, father," Arthur said quietly. "You won't regret this."

Uther glowered. "I already do. His actions are on your head. As future king, you'll have to deal with the consequences. Leave me."

Morgana fussed a few moments longer, but Uther's patience was clearly at its end. He waved her away irritably, scowling all the while. Arthur inclined is head to his father before moving to the door to hold it open for Morgana. She swept out, every inch the lady she was. She was walking almost as quickly as Merlin had. Arthur followed her without looking back.

Merlin was sitting on the floor opposite the door. His head was in his hands and he was shaking slightly. Gwen and Morgana knelt to either side of him. Gwen had an arm around his shoulders and was looking intently at Morgana, who was muttering fiercely under her breath. Arthur guessed that Merlin had come out and muttered something to the effect of "The king's not going to kill me" before sinking onto the floor, leaving Gwen very confused and probably very worried.

Crossing the hall in two strides, Arthur gently grasped Morgana's upper arm and pulled her to her feet. "We should be elsewhere. Gwen, can you help Merlin or should I?"

"I can walk," Merlin muttered.

"Without tripping over your feet?"

"I don't manage that on a regular day, as you are usually fond of reminding me."

"Then I doubt you'll mange it now."

"I'll be fine," grumbled Merlin. He rose slowly to his feet and smirked triumphantly at Arthur when his knees held.

The prince rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes. Quite an accomplishment. Come on. Let's get back to Gaius' chambers. I'm sure he wants to know that you kept your head and I rather think we have things to discuss."

The four friends trooped slowly back to Gaius' quarters. Despite his claims otherwise, Merlin was a bit unsteady on his feet. Arthur bit back the sarcastic teasing for once. It was just as likely that the battle with Morgause was still taking a toll on him. Merlin had only woken a few hours before and even he was a bit shaken after confronting his father.

Gaius was up and across the room the moment they entered his chambers. "What happened?" he demanded.

"Father let him off," said Arthur. "But not lightly."

The physician looked up sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Uther is suspicious, as he always is, and looking for someone to blame," Morgana explained, her voice dripping with frustration. "He wants nothing more than to blame Merlin, but Arthur and I were convinced otherwise and word's already gotten out that he almost single-handedly saved the kingdom, as I told Uther. He may be a paranoid fool, but this kingdom means too much to him. Even he could see the folly in crucifying a hero."

Merlin flushed brilliantly red with embarrassment. "I'm not a hero."

"Oh tosh," she said, steering him deftly toward the low cot Gaius kept in the main chamber for patients. "You've saved Camelot more times than Arthur has, and without the ego. I'd say that makes you a hero."

"Oi!"

Morgana tossed him an angelic smile. "It's true. Don't deny it. How do you feel, Merlin?"

"All right, I suppose," he shrugged. "A bit light headed, if I'm honest. My magic feels all strange, too. Sort of like it's trying to settle. I feel like I'm going to accidentally make half the room float."

"That's a natural reaction when one has used as much magic as you did," said Gaius. "It may be a few days before you feel settled. You'd best be careful until it had or you will end up using your magic without even realizing."

"That would be very bad," Arthur said darkly. "Father will be looking for any sign of magic, real or imagined. Merlin can't afford to do anything suspicious."

"But it's always been that way for Merlin, hasn't it?" asked Gwen.

"Not like this. Father will be keeping a particular eye on him now. He's trying to convince himself that Merlin had something to do with Emrys."

"I did," Merlin pointed out.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Yes, but father has no way to actually know that."

"Uther doesn't need proof," scoffed Morgana. "Paranoia is all it takes."

"I'm aware of that, thank you very much. We'll all have to tread carefully until father lets this go.'

Morgana rolled her eyes disdainfully. "He'll never let it go. He never lets anything go when magic is involved, or when he imagines it is. Merlin won't be safe until Uther is dead and you know it."

"Don't talk like that," Arthur said tiredly. "He is still my father and the king."

Gauis winced apologetically. "She does have a point. Merlin is too close to you, sire. The king will be looking for a way to condemn him simply to get Merlin away from you. It's a miracle that you managed to convince him not to. He rarely listens where magic is involved."

"I don't suppose you had something to do with that, Merlin," joked Arthur weakly.

Merlin's lips twitched. "That's magic beyond my reach. I've not yet learned how to do that. I'm lucky I can mange to speak with my thoughts the way the druids do. I suppose it might be an effect of Morgause' spell and mine."

"The king is not as young as he once was," Gaius said. "The enchantment used by that witch may have had a lasting effect on his health, but I doubt it had any effect on his mind."

"Perhaps he is showing mercy," suggested Gwen.

Arthur shook his head. "He's teaching me a lesson. He's convinced that Merlin is the enemy and he wants me to learn it in the worst possible way, when that betrayal is impossible to ignore. He wants it to happen so that he can rub it in my face as proof that servants don't make worthy friends for kings. He wants me to learn not to trust anyone," he said bitterly.

Gwen hurried over to Arthur and slid her arms around his waist. He immediately returned the embrace, pulling her closer.

"I'll prove to him that he's wrong," he whispered.

"We all will," said Morgana.

"If he finds out that you knew about my magic, the king may see that as the grossest betrayal and he may be ruthless for it, even to his son and ward," said Merlin, looking between Morgana and Arthur. "If he's keeping such a close eye on me, he might discover your magic as well, Morgana. Especially if I'm teaching you."

She looked up at him sharply. "Are you saying you won't?"

"That's not what I meant," he said quickly. "If you still want me to, I will, but it'll be even more dangerous now that Uther's actively looking for a reason to burn me at the stake."

Morgana shifted closer to him on the little cot, cocking her hips so that her knees were pointed toward his, nearly brushing against him. She took his hands in hers and looked almost pleadingly into his eyes. "Merlin, I can't keep living like this. I can't keep having these dreams. I can't continue to fear myself. I don't have magic the way you do. I don't have any instinctive control over it. I have no idea what I'm doing and I need help. But I can't ask you to put your life at risk. It has to be your choice."

Merlin seemed genuinely taken aback by the uncharacteristic vulnerability Morgana was displaying. Unconsciously, he twisted his hands in hers to twine their fingers together. "I chose my own safety over yours once and I saw what it did to you. The Great Dragon has warned me of you, but I refuse to believe he's right and I will do everything I can to prove him wrong. We'll start as soon as you're ready."

"You mean as soon as you're ready, Merlin," interjected Gaius. "Your magic needs time to settle."

The warlock rolled his eyes. "Of course, Gaius. That's what I meant."

Gripping his hands more tightly in hers, Morgana beamed up at Merlin. "Thank you," she whispered.

Merlin blushed. "It's the least I can do. I get the feeling that it's my responsibility to help those with magic. Kilgharrah's been annoyingly tight lipped about my side of this whole destiny thing."

"Responsibility or no, I'm grateful. You'll never know how much."

His blush deepened.

Arthur and Gwen exchanged a knowing glance. It was odd to see Morgana so obviously head over heals for someone. Usually, she rejected anyone who showed her even the slightest bit of interest so thoroughly that they ran off in tears. As for Merlin, he seemed to be almost completely oblivious, or at the very least, deliberately so. This was going to be quite amusing to watch, so long as they didn't get caught.

Gently detaching herself from Arthur's side, Gwen walked over to Merlin and gave him a fierce hug. "You don't have to be alone anymore," she whispered. "We'll help you, no matter what it is."

"No more saving Camelot on your own," said Arthur. "I want some of the glory as well, seeing as it is my kingdom."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "It's not your kingdom yet."

"It will be, won't it?"

"Isn't that a bit treasonous?"

"Of course not. I've been officially appointed crown prince."

"Crown prat is more like."

"You know, he does have a point, Arthur."

"Oi! I'll not have you two ganging up on me."

"Well, those of with magic do have to stick together."

"At least Gwen's on my side. Right?"

"I am Morgana's maid."

"This is unbelievable."

The four friends shared a look and burst out laughing.

Author's Note: Well there it is. This fic is finally over. I'm not entirely happy with the ending, I'll admit. Uther is really difficult to write. Before you ask, I am considering a sequel. There are absolutely no guarantees.. I only have half an idea for the plot, but I do plan to write one in the future…eventually…maybe, lol. R&R. I'd love to know what you'd like to see come next. Thanks for sticking with me for the long haul.