Disclaimer: All recognized characters belong to Stephanie Myers.

Author'sNotes: You guys probably thought it was a miracle that I finally posted up chapter 3 after months of not posting, but here I surprise you again with another chapter, think of it as a present from me to you for all your wonderful support. I wish you all have safe and happy holiday and hope you guys have a happpy new year!

Previously:

"Dude, we need to rent Hangover 2, I hear it's better than the first one" Quil said.

"We're totally renting that" Seth said.

"I don't know… I don't feel comfortable with Seth watching something like that" Bella said.

"But Bellllllaaaaaa" Seth whined, "I'm old enough, I'm turning 15 in a few months."

"Fine, we'll watch it next week, but at Sam's house" Bella said.

"Excuse me?" I said, not believe what I just heard.

"Well it is logical. Only your house or my house or Jacob's house will fit everyone in their living room. Don't be such a downer Sam" Bella said, ending that discussion until further notice.

BELLA POV

When the guys arrived one at a time today, especially when the first person to show up at my door step was Seth, we instantly knew that the guys were hungry. So we decided to play with them a little bit, make them sweat a little, especially Quil.

Us girls wanted to watch 'The Wedding Planner', while the boys wanted to watch 'the Hangover', but in the end we decided that we would watch the girl's movie first and then we'll watch the boys. The Hangover was, I have to admit, pretty funny in a weird way.

Quil started talking about watching the Hangover 2, Seth was excited, he was always excited about everything, about watching the next instalment, but I refused to let Seth watch it after what I saw, I knew that the second one would be just as bad, but I couldn't say no when Seth did the cute puppy dog eyes. It was the cutest, I could never say no to that.

The guys made too much of a mess, so I suggested, no more like demanded, that we do it at Sam's house, more room. But I guess Sam didn't like that idea, but I didn't care at the moment, I just did want it at my house and Sam has never said no to me, ever.

The pack ended up leaving around midnight leaving us girls doing all the girly things like gossiping and doing our hair and nails.

It was a fun night, just hanging out with the girls and listening to what the latest gossip was. It felt good to be socialising again.

As my time before I left Forks & La Push for New York grew near, Paul and mine's relationship had developed a little more. We started off with hating each other, but as days and weeks passed we had gotten to know each other better. He became my friend, then my best friend and then the brother that I could count on. But somewhere in my heart, I knew that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want Paul as a brother, I wanted more. I wanted to be happy. I had finally gotten over "douchward" as Paul likes to call him.

We were sitting on the couch, me sitting on his lap, just talking like always while watching a movie with the pack. We were always unconsciously touching yet we never noticed until Quil pointed it out.

"Hey man, do you mind keeping your dirty hands off my baby sister" Quil said to Paul.

"Excuse me? My dirty hands? If I recall, you've been fantasizing about Bella doing all these nasty things to you, and you're accusing me of touching her?" Paul said in return

"Well yeah. Wait, haven't you noticed?" Quil said

"No? Noticed what?"

"Get to the point Quil" I said feeling irritated.

"You haven't noticed? Really? They way you guys gravitate towards each other? Always touching? It's like you two imprinted or something" Embry said like it was the simplest thing ever.

"It's true. We thought you knew. Actually we thought you were just trying to keep it a secret from us" Jacob said. That had explained all the staring coming from the pack. They were observing us. Typical.

"Well have you?" I asked looking up at Paul.

"I… I don't know" Paul said not making eye contact with me "I don't know how to explain it, but I feel as though you're a part of me that's missing from me. When you go home at night I feel so empty, like there's a part of me missing, but when you're near me, like right now, sitting on my lap, I feel somewhat complete." That was one of the most romantic things I have ever heard come out of his mouth in all the time I spent with him.

"Paul" I whispered, my hand cupping his cheek as I leaned forward but instead got interrupted when I heard a chorus of 'awws' and 'ngawws'

A deep blush appeared on my face when I remembered that the pack was watching our every move.

"They just had to ruin everything good don't they?" I said to low for normal humans to hear, walking out the living room to the kitchen to grab a cup of water or maybe a can of coke if there were any.

"I take that as an offence!" Seth yelled.

"Good" I yelled back cracking open a can of coke and rum that Sam always had around.

"You better not be drinking Bella" Sam yelled.

"Well I am! Am I not allowed to drink a liquid of some from? Do you want me to get dehydrated? Don't get your panties in a bunch, geez woman, Emily tame your dog" I yelled back receiving a few chuckles. And then I had an Idea. I put the can down on the table.

"LEAH!" I yelled walking towards the living room, "We'll be back, oh Sam I'm in the mood for a bonfire" I said leaving the house with Leah following. Once we were out of hearing range, well for the wolves I simply said "Alcohol" instantly understood. We came back with around 10 bottles of Vodka, 10 bottles of Tequila, a few mixers like orange juice and coke,and a few girly drinks for the girls. I was just as good as holding my alcohol as the next person, I had pretty good metabolism so I didn't get drunk as easily.

"PARTY TIME BITCHES!" I yelled walking through the door with 4 bottles of Vodka, calling out to Embry and Quil to help Leah.

Quil, Paul and Jacob had called a few people and in a few minutes Sam's house was full of teenagers to young adults. We let Quil and Embry man the bar, Jacob became the official DJ for the night.

I was making my rounds, making sure that everything was okay and there was no funny business, when I spotted Mike fucken Newton coming my way. Someone must have invited him, so I spent the rest of the night avoiding him as best as I could. I tried dancing with any of the available pack members so I wouldn't have to dance with Mike, I knew Mike was secretly scared shitless of the pack cause of how huge they were so when I was with one of them, I was in the safe zone.

After a few hours, and a lot of drinks, everyone started to go home. The pack was the only one left and we decided to sit around the still flaming bon fire all doing shots,Emily decided to sit out on this one and decided to stick with beer. We were all pretty wasted, including Emily and she only had a few beers, Kim was a wild drunk and declared that we were playing Truth or Dare.

"Alright people, I'll go first, Jacob, Truth or Dare" I said pointing to Jacob.

"Dare, give me what you've got" Jacob said.

"I dare you to… I dare you to skinny dip into the ocean" Kim said hiccupping. Jacob ran to the water removing his shorts and jumped into the water and came back out after a minute.

"Alright, Leah, truth or –"

"Dare" Leah said.

"Okay okay. I dare you to… make out with Quil… For 5 minutes" Jacob said.

"A little childish don't you think Black?" Leah said, walking towards Quil, they made out for 2 minutes, but time didn't matter at this point.

"Okay Bella, Truth or dare?" Leah asked.

"Dare, give it to me bitch" I said.

"Dare you to make out with Kim" and I did, I could tell that some of the boys were turned on; it was funny, because all of them were trying to readjust their pants trying to look unaffected.

We continued to play truth or dare until the wee hours when there was only me and Paul left awake, everyone was asleep, Jacob's head was on my lap sleeping and my head was on Paul's shoulder, his arms around my waist like his life depended on it and if he let go I would leave him, I could tell he was sleepy, but it seemed that if he closed his eyes long enough and when he would open it again, I would be gone.

"Paul, sleep" I said.

"Hmm… I'm not tired" he murmured fighting to keep his eyes open. We sat in silence. I was too deep in thought to notice Paul had fallen asleep, his cheek resting on top of my head. I was mindlessly combing through Jacob's hair, I loved Jacob's hair, it was always so silky soft, I wondered what kind of conditioner he used.

Paul had been acting strangely, ever since I told him I was leaving he had been a little clingy, it was cute. He was always by my side, touching me and holding me whenever possible and it didn't even bother Jacob and Sam. Weird. Neither did my little boys, Colin and Brady. They had phased recently, it was horrible, they were only 14 and to phase so young and take on so much responsibility I took it in me to look after them, make sure they were properly fed, handed in all their homework in time and everything. I was like a mother to them. Their parents had died in a car crash only a few years back and so they lived with their grandmother on the reservation, and of course with her being so old she knew about the wolves.

Sitting here, watching two of my favourite boys sleeping, I felt content, it was nice. I felt like a mother watching over her children, but that was weird in away, Jacob was like an older brother to me, but Paul, god Paul was different. I wanted something more than friendship, I wanted to be with him, but I was too afraid that the feelings weren't mutual.

I couldn't sleep, maybe it was because there was so much on my mind, and so instead of trying to fall asleep, I sat there watching the sky, the midnight blue fading into a beautiful orangey red reflecting off the water, this was a truly beautiful sight. Eventually Jacob stared to stir. I didn't want him to wake up just yet, so I started singing a song that I recently found on YouTube.

Baby just drop the problems and don't worry about a thing
Tilt your head back and listen to me sing
Get lost in the simple melody
Baby it's you and me, you and me.Drowsy eyes, saying goodnight
This is your lullaby.
Take a breath, lay your head down
Baby I'm right here, don't worry you're safe and soundOur hearts beating in perfect harmony
Our breaths create an amazing symphony
Imagine our fingers intertwined
Your body against mineVisualize the perfect evening
Pure love, an indescribable feeling
We can drop the stress and kickback
So close your eyes, and relaxBaby just drop the problems and don't worry about a thing
Tilt your head back and listen to me sing
Get lost in the simple melody
Baby it's you and me, you and me.

(Kim Vallido© - Untiled Lullaby)

Eventually Jacob went back into his deep slumber.

"You should sing more" said a sleepy voice.

"Awww fuck. PAUL!" I screamed jumping slightly when I had heard his voice; I instantly looked down to make sure Jacob wasn't startled awake, nope still sleeping like the dead.

"Crap Paul, when did you wake up" I whispered harshly.

"I've been a wake for a while" He said.

"And you didn't tell me because…?" I said

"Cause you looked beautiful. What's going in that pretty mind of yours? Paul asked.

"Nothing" I said quickly, I probably looked like a tomato at this point. He chuckled at my facial expression.

"Well, whatever it was I hope it was me you were thinking about" Paul said jokingly. I laughed cautiously. Not sure of what to say because to be honest I was thinking about him, I was always thinking about him. He never left my mind, and I went crazy if I wasn't near him or I haven't seen him for a while. Normally Charlie would send me down to La Push when I went all psycho.

For a moment, Paul had locked eyes with mine and all I could see was him, nothing else, nothing else mattered, because all I could see was him. I could see the love in his eyes love. Pure love and admiration and for some strange reason I felt a pull, I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to be close to him, I wanted a life with him. And I did, out lips locked for a moment, I felt him pull me closer, wrapping both arms around my waist pulling me to sit on his lap. Totally forgetting Jacob and his head made a thumping sound as it hit the ground. He was still sleeping.

We continued to kiss like our life depended on it, and if I was honest it felt un-fucken-believable. It was one of those kisses where you think "damn, this is good, I never want this to end" and at some point when out lips met I swear I could see firework. He had deepened the kiss; it became more heated, until we heard someone clearing their throat in the background. We reluctantly pulled apart, looking at the culprit.

"It would be nice, if you guys would do that" Jacob said, waving his hands between me and Paul "in the confinements of your own places. And Bella, drop me softly or at least move my head next time I think I got a bump or something" Jake said rubbing his head.

"Sorry Jake" I said sheepishly. Paul just chuckled and shaking his head from side to side. I smacked him on the chest regretting it the moment my hand made contact with his chest.

"Oww" I said nursing my hand "seriously I thought the Cullen's were supposed to be made of rock or something." Jacob and Paul just laughed in unison.

"You guys are funny. Really funny" I yelled at them before standing up and storming off to go to my car. God, what idiots, didn't even ask if I was okay. Jerks didn't even bother to say sorry. God what do I bother? WHY?! Maybe if I just went home, had a nice warm shower or maybe even a bath I would feel better. Yeah that would do, or maybe I should go for a run, I haven't done that in a while, it used to always calm me back in Phoenix. Yeah that's what I'll do. I'll go have a quick run before taking a nice long much needed warm bath.

You know that saying out of sight out of mind? I had completely forgotten about the kiss. Literally, not until Emily had asked me what it was like to kiss Paul the next day, I hadn't spoken to either Jacob or Paul since the other day. Crap, I couldn't believe I had forgotten that. I decided to keep quiet. Telling her how it felt would only fuel her inner gossip. Fork's was a small town and I didn't want everyone to start planning the Chief's only daughter's wedding.

Did I even hear myself right? This was what I wanted right? To kiss Paul, to maybe being with him, but no I wanted to keep quiet. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME! I yelled at my inner self. Inner self, I've completely went all spiritual like Renée. I snickered. Loudly I might add, that earned me a questioning look from Emily, I just shook my head signalling to her that it was nothing. I was so deep in thought I hadn't heard the boys walk though.

"Bella? Bell-aaahhhh" some said waving a hand in front of my face. I instantly came out of my thoughts and smacked the hand away.

"Was that necessary?" I asked looking at the person who was stupid enough to interrupt my thoughts, it was Paul.

"Yes" he simply said.

"Well, you can go fuck yourself, because obviously you're not needed here pup" I snapped at him, I was still mad at him, why? No clue, but I felt as though I needed to be mad at him.

"Did you just dismiss me? Really Bell, that's low" Paul said.

"Really Paul, are you sure you want to fuck with me today? Because right now I'm mad enough to rip your balls off and force feed them to you. Do you want that to happen? Cause so help me God I will" I screamed, storming out. When I reached home, I realised why I was so moody today, great. I was on my period. Perfect. But hey at least I wasn't pregnant.

For the next three days, I was treated like a princess, since the day I snapped at Paul and almost murdered him with my death glare; all the boys knew not to mess with me until my period was over. One week of hell was truly what I needed to make this week better! YAY GO PERIODS! I thought thick with sarcasm. I really need to stop talking to myself. I might as well go crazy now. I was to leave in like 6 weeks, and I hadn't even started packing. So I thought, Sunday afternoon, nothing better to do, why not start to pack up some stuff? I thought, yeah I'll do that, better now than never. I was in the middle of deciding on what I needed to pack now, and I wouldn't need later when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come on in" I said. I heard the door creak open, but heard no footsteps; I instantly knew it was one of the wolves.

"Hey" I heard Sam say sitting down on my bed.

"Hey" I said turning around to a room full of half naked men. Odd I thought. "So… what do you want? Cause as you can see I'm busy." I said waving my hand in front of my luggage.

"Sure you are Bells. Just wanted to check up on you that's all" Jarred said.

"Ah-huh, you do this all the time when you're trying to change my mind. I'm positive I want to go to New York, and I want to learn how to cook if that's what you want to know. I want to do this. I really do" I said, trying to convince not only myself, but them as well. For now, I was still unsure if I really wanted to go, but this was a once in a life time chance, I was going off to school to do something I loved. I got accepted into the Culinary Art School in New York. I could be training with the top chefs, and I would be a fool to turn this opportunity down. So I told myself, this was a good thing. I was going to do something that benefited myself and the others as well. I would make everyone proud and that's what I wanted.

"If that's what you want Belly" Seth said.

"It is and I want you guys to be supportive of this. I'll come back during the holidays, I'll call and e-mail you guys' everyday" making a promise to them, "But I'm not leaving for another month or so."

"Wait, I thought you had 6 weeks left" Embry asked.

"Same shit" I said, "c'mon guys, I'm going up there for a few days to get settled in and then I'm going to come back to get the rest my things shipped because sadly I do not trust Charlie with shipping my stuff and then I'll be back whenever I can. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I there's a tugging in my heart telling me not to leave. But I want to go. This is what I want." I said ending the conversation. They understood and stood up giving me a hug and saying their good byes before leaving my room.

This is what I want. This is what I want. This is what I want. I repeated to myself. This is a chance to leave the old Bella behind and start again. Start afresh. New slate and when I come back I will be different. But boy was I wrong about that. Fate had other plans for me.