A/N Hey everyone! This is my first fanfic ever, so don't be surprised if it needs improvement! I really feel that Carlisle and Esme NEED to be explored more. Also, I just think they are the cutest couple, and there isn't enough of them in the Twilight series, so I hope people enjoy this. I would really appreciate reviews from readers. If you have any suggestions for possible future stories, it is greatly appreciated! This plot has been used before, but I wanted to try it out for the experience of it all (and sorry for any mistakes). ANYWAYS, here is the first chapter and I hope you enjoy it. I might do a short follow up in Carlisle's P.O.V. if people would like…

WARNING: Fluff at the end!

*DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. IT IS ALL OF STEPHENIE MEYERS "TWILIGHT SAGA".*

Esme P.O.V.

I don't know how long I've been staring out this window. It seems like I've lived a life time, just sitting here, waiting for it to end. I'm sure there is something on the other side of the glass barrier, something beautiful, but I see nothing. I only see myself reflected in the cracked glass. I see my face, stunning yet flawed from the worn out windows of our new house.

Since we relocated to southern Canada, everything, all the memories, good and bad, were left behind. We didn't move far away from forks, but far enough away that there were faces that wouldn't recognize us. The whole family came along, including Jacob, but we were not surprised considering the situation with Nessie. The children were not exactly thrilled, but I was. He has grown to be such a huge part of our lives, I can't help but think of him as a son, and I love him as would any mother would love her son.

I gazed at the woman in the reflection, and as she gazed back, I pictured a little boy in her place. The boy had soft caramel hair and a pale complexion with red freckles sprinkled underneath his bright blue eyes. I recognized the boy all too well. The sight of my little boy caused my lip to quiver ever so slightly. He died ninety years ago on this day, and unfortunately, I remember it so very clearly. Out of all my human memories, this is one that decided to permanently chain itself to my mind. It continues to punch and kick me until I breakdown in unshed tears. Almost every year, a tide of memories creeps ever so slowly to drown me in the past. And always on this day, do I wait for the despair to end. It never gets any less painful, never stops abusing me until I break. It just gets easier to hide from my family and Carlisle.

Carlisle. So loving and gentle, yet so protective and worrisome. He's the only one who can take away my pain and sadness and replace it with the comfort and love I need. He had offered to take off time from his work to stay with me today, but I had to deny his offer. I wanted to say yes so dearly, but I knew that I had to be strong, for I was not going to make him worry more than he already does. When I hurt, he hurts just as much as I do. So, I pretend I am well, and wait till he comes home. I don't lock eyes with him, and I try to stay silent as long as I can. I know I am hurting him, being so detached, but it's better that I stay strong, that I stay in control until I am alone and secluded. In the meantime, I sit staring unseeingly into the unfamiliar landscape.

Every once in a while, when the blindfold is lifted, I manage to see the beautiful, rolling hills of the countryside, the green, lush forests painting the horizon, the glistening blue water, restless in the wind. It's absolutely stunning, but it means nothing to me. The ghostly figure of the boy clouds my vision once more before another wave of punching and kicking guilt drowns me, and brings me to the depths of its ocean.

My head falls to my hands as the force of another spasm of sobs shake my body. When will this ever stop? Please, please don't let Carlisle see me like this. I prayed and prayed he would get delayed at work. I needed so desperately to pull myself together. I have had my time to grieve. Pull yourself together, Esme.

After what seems like hours of deep breathing, I gave in to the guilt. It was too much to stand. I just needed more time. I needed to get away from this window, from the reflection that showed just how broken I really was, from the little boy. I needed time to rebuild my façade, before Carlisle got home.

I ran down the old wooden stairs and out the nearest door. The grass was cold and damp as my feet briefly grazed the soft blades of green. The wind tangle my hair as I ran, led by my feet. I had absolutely no idea where I was going, all I wanted was to get away from that window. My jeans ripped on the jagged branches of trees as I frantically tried to dodge them. I ran at a speed any vampire would be jealous of, until I got to the top of a mountain.

My eyes gazed the mountain side, looking for somewhere to hide from the pain. My gaze locked on a cave, engraved deep in the mountain side. I began my descent down the cliff, no fear, just longing. Longing to have my son in my arms, his heart beating, the sun shining down on us. I wanted that more than anything. I wanted to have another chance to hold my new born child close, to tell him how special he was, to tell him I loved him no matter what. Is it too much to ask for a second chance? If only that chance lasted for sixty seconds…Is that too great a wish?

My back slowly slid down the side of the cave, as reality punch me in the face. "He's not coming back." I told myself. It was foolish of me to think otherwise, but the dream was so appealing. I sobbed even harder as the reality hit me again, harder than before. My head fell in my hands once again with the rising tide.

*~oOo~*

I continued to stare out at the ocean. Something about the waves calmed me. Maybe, it was the smell of the salt water, carried by the breeze. Or perhaps it was the cycle of the waves. The way they swell to their capacity, crash hard into the cold sea, then start again. It seemed as though they were desperately trying to reach the sandy shore. Even though they crashed hard, they kept going, and eventually, they reached their desired goal. I smiled when the waves that caught my eye, peacefully washed on shore. It was like watching a sad movie with a happy ending.

I pulled my knees to my chest, my jeans ripped and damp, and wrapped my arms around my legs. I want to be a wave. I want be able to start again. I buried my face in my knees. I'm so broken.

I didn't move from my position, not even when I heard somebody else in the cave with me. I finally lifted my head to find Carlisle sitting cross legged in front of me, his golden eyes waiting patiently for me to look at him. I gave into his gaze, seeing the worry hidden beneath the surface. I could see pain and sadness, deeper down, yet what he saw in me, I don't know. I didn't try to break the hold his stare had on me. I just tried to hide what I could, and it took everything I had. I couldn't hold it much longer.

"Please." He whispered. "Don't."

I broke then and there. He sounded so heartbroken, so sad, in those two words. The mental wall fell as I let him in. I lasted five seconds in his gaze before it became too much. Sobs shook my body like an earthquake, as I broke away from his painful gaze. He moved closer to me and took me in his arms, as his hands traced comforting circles on my back, and stroked my hair slowly. He let his lips linger on a spot just above my right ear, saying nothing. We sat there for what seemed like eternity, not saying anything, just comforting each other.

I knew this was hurting him, seeing me fall apart right in front of his eyes. He should never see me like this. It's not fair that he should be hurting as well. He did nothing wrong, he didn't cause me this grief.

I pulled away from his embrace and looked at my hands between my knees. "You shouldn't have to see me like this Carlisle. I'm so sorry." My voice was barely audible. "I don't know why this is so hard for me. It's been ninety years since…"I couldn't finish that sentence. I just sat staring at my hands, not wanting to meet his gaze.

After a minute of silence he spoke. "Esme, I can't begin to understand how hard this is for you, and I never truly will. I just…I can't sit here and watch how this hurts you. I want to help so badly. I can't tell you how much I want to take away your pain." I raised my head to look at him and I was met with sadness, worry, and overpowering guilt.

"I'm a doctor and I can't even heal the one person that means the world to me." His voice cracked in the last second as he spoke. "You're the strongest person I know, Esme. You've been through so much, and most of it alone. I understand that you need time alone, just please…Let me help." His eyes and voice filled with longing and love as I gazed back at him. Our noses were almost touching now, some unknown force drawing us together.

"I still don't understand." I whispered. His eyes filled with confusion as I spoke those words.

"I don't understand how you can love someone, left shattered and broken, with pieces scattered everywhere, some of them impossible to find...and others missing. It doesn't make any sense." I looked down at my hands once again, ashamed of reality.

"Esme, look at me." He said, disbelief coating every word.

When I didn't move, he put his finger under my chin, and gently raised it, his face close to mine.

"You're broken and you're shattered," His voice was soft and loving. "One of the many things I love about you." I looked into his deep golden eyes to find he was telling the truth.

"I've made it my job to put you back together, even if it's the hardest task on earth, I will never stop trying. If I can't put you back together, so be it. No words will ever describe how much you mean to me."

There was so much passion behind those eyes; there was no denying what he said.

"Carlisle…" I began to protest, but I was cut short when his lips found mine.

He kissed me like never before. Never had I felt so much love, love that overwhelmed everything else. My hands tangled in his hair as he kissed me again, this time more softly. This kiss was lighter, and shorter but filled with his passion. I never wanted to let go, I wanted to make this moment last forever. His hands held the sides of my face gently as he softly pressed his lips to mine once more. All the pain and agony left as soon as his lips touched mine. Never would I doubt how much he loved me, again.

We sat together on the cold cave floor, noses touching, foreheads resting against each other, not saying anything.

"Thank you." I said, meeting his eyes.

"For what?" he asked softly.

"For putting me back together."

A/N Thanks for reading! If there are suggestions regarding my writing, or future stories, they are greatly appreciated. Thanks again!