As you stare in utter disbelief at this chapter I hang my head in shame. To be completely honest I lost all motivation to write and basically abandoned all of my stories. I feel like a shithead.

Disclaimer: No own Ring Lord of The or RuToNa

Kakuzu cast a blank look towards his former target. He had never been one to enjoy the company of animals, Hidan alone was too much for his patience, but he had to admit that the horse's loyalty to his owner was admirable.

"Fucking smelly thing! Kakuzu, you gotta let me kill it, seriously" whined Hidan as he brandished his beloved scythe at the beast.

"Peace Hidine, Brego is my mount and while I am injured I cannot travel at your pace without her" said Aragorn trying to calm his vulgar new "ally" but just inadvertently making it worse.

"What did you call me you worthless heathen?!" shouted Hidan as he charged towards his former target with full intent to sacrifice him and his fucking horse.

Luckily for Aragorn, Kakuzu threw a kunai that pierced the Hidan's right hand that brandished his scythe moments before the red monstrosity severed Aragorn's kingly head. The pain of the wound didn't cause Hidan to pause, but the exploding tag attached to the kunai certainly caused a bit of a distraction.

Turning away from Hidan, who had managed to avoid having his hand blown to bits but was now trying to extinguish his robes which had caught fire from the small explosion, Kakuzu gave Aragorn a deadpan stare.

"If you value your life brat, then you'll stay silent for the rest of this trip. Hidan's hot headed and an idiot that won't hesitate to kill you and sacrifice you to his fake god."

Aragorn bristled at the strange man's words. He was not arrogant enough to think that he stood any chance against these unnatural warriors but he refused to back down from their threats; he had seen too much in his long life for him to be intimidated by their violent mannerisms.

"We have agreed to an alliance Kakoozoo. I respect your strength and understand your plight but I won't be treated like a lesser man."

Kakuzu twitched at the mangling of his name but still felt a bit of grudging respect for the dirty man in front of him. He had met hardened shinobi who had cowered and begged after being exposed to his partner and himself. That, of course, didn't mean Aragorn would be treated like an equal.

"You better have as much value as you say you do" said Kakuzu with a smirk hidden beneath his mask as he walked ahead, leaving an irritated ranger behind.

It had not been easy for Aragorn to convince the masked killer that he and his partner were better off joining forces with the people of Rohan and the scattered remains of the Fellowship. Only when he had, in a fit of desperation, told Kakuzu that he was the heir of the throne of Gondor and would pay him a small fortune once he claimed his mantle, did the money loving shinobi agree to help. Aragorn was a man of his word of course, and would pay the man his due should he live to become king, but he knew it was likely the Halls of Mandos would claim him long before that.

"How, in the name of Jashin-sama, do you dirty heathens survive when you all fight like a bunch of pussys?"

Hidan had managed to extinguish his Akatsuki robe and, being bipolar as he was, had calmed down enough to make conversation with their former target.

Aragorn, being the unfortunate one, tried to keep a cool head at Hidan's crude, offensive way of speaking.

"I'm not sure how cat's fight, but we survive through the sword, the axe, and the bow. Our skills are passed from father to son through the ages and they have served us well."

Hidan snorted and with the quickness of an S-ranked nin, he grabbed Aragorn's sheathed broadsword and held it up to eye level for inspection.

Aragorn, with impressive reflexes, made a grab for the sword but Hidan had already danced out of way and started to swing around the sword with deliberately mocking slow clumsy movements.

"This things heavy and loud; you'd be better off swinging around a log."

Kakuzu, who was watching the display indifferently from the sidelines, silently agreed with his partner. He had never been much of a swordsman but he had never seen any skilled samurai use a sword like Aragorn's.

Aragorn narrowed his eyes at the childish man, taking in the blood red bladed weapon strapped to Hidan's back. He had never seen such a weapon in his eighty plus years of life wandering Middle Earth.

"We seem to come from two very different cultures, friend. Your weapon is as strange to my eyes as mine is to yours."

"Don't call me friend scum! Your sword isn't strange it's fucking useless; I barely tried when we were fighting with those things! Fucking blasphemer..."

Aragorn looked at Hidan with confusion. We have not fought before…

Kakuzu watched impassively as Hidan let slip to Aragorn his part in his capture. He did not think that the future king would make the connection but, judging by the way Aragorn's face betrayed his sudden disbelieving shock, he seemed to have underestimated the man's intelligence.

It suddenly hit Aragorn; the orc he had fought before being captured by Kakuzu had been unlike anything he had encountered before. Too much strength and skill for a foot soldier, and the look on the orcs face. Aragorn could easily see the same mocking smirk the orc held in the pale face of Hidan.

"You and the orc are one in the same are you not? What dark magic did you use to achieve such a disguise?!"

Hidan gave a loud cackle at the disgusted expression on the dirty man's face. The idiot's never even heard of a henge, seriously.

Kakuzu, having had enough of his partner's big mouth, gave Hidan a hard look. Hidan just brushed off the glare and continued to cackle to himself. Annoyed, Kakuzu turned to Aragorn:

"We don't use magic; we use an energy called chakra. That's more than you need to know so shut up and get moving."

Still perplexed by the strangeness that was his current travelling companions and slightly offended by Kakuzu's rudeness, Aragorn just rubbed his weary eyes, praying to Eru for patience and understanding.

Satisfied that their temporary "ally" wouldn't be asking any more questions for a while, Kakuzu snatched Aragorn's sword from Hidan's grip none too gently, giving his partner a hard shove. Hidan only continued to chuckle, even louder now that he had stirred Kakuzu's temper.

The older Akatsuki shoved the sword deep into the ground in front of Aragorn's feet and gave the two men his iciest glare, his already luminescent eyes absolutely glowing with his rising ire.

"We continue to Helm's Deep in silence."

Aragorn, with a tired sigh, walked over to where Brego had faithfully stood waiting and mounted the horse. Arwen, my love, you will never believe the tales I will have to tell should we meet again.

Well that's that. Next chapter with be the much anticipated, by myself at least, Battle of Helm's Deep! You'll get to see the rest of the crew's reaction to our favourite rouge nin ;)