The Crusade Against Clichés

for BlondeMascaraPrincess, 1st place winner of my "children of time" game :)

-::-::-

She had just plopped herself down in front of her computer when the doorbell rang. It was probably her pesky ex-boyfriend again, who was good-looking but clingy as hell, and tended to smell like fish. She really didn't want to have to deal with fish boy right now. But a quick series of soft footsteps followed by an "I'll get it, Mom!" made her smile. This little system they have going is pretty nice.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best idea to let a six-year-old go around answering doors and talking to strangers, but Jade West was never mom-of-the-year.

"Who is it?" she bellowed from her study.

"It's a delivery!" her son shouted back. "You have to sign something."

Groaning, she stood up from the comfort of her swivel chair and walked down the hall to the front door of her apartment. Little Elliot B. West (he always keeps his middle initial because otherwise, his initials would be EW, and that's gross) had his two short arms wrapped halfway around a cardboard box that was twice his size, and was carrying the package at a breakneck pace of three steps per hour to the living room. Jade opened the door wider to greet the UPS man. She signed off and was about to shut the door with a forced smile when she finally looked up at the man's familiar face.

In reaction to this familiar face, she jumped in shock and hit her head on the door. He had the nerve to laugh.

"Hi, Jade."

"Beck? What are you doing here?" She put her hand up to her head, checked to see that it wasn't bleeding, checked again, then went back to staring at the man in front of her.

"I had a delivery for Ms. West."

As the obscurity of the situation finally sunk in, she gave Beck a once over, taking in his monochrome outfit, cheap hat, and hideous shoes. She huffed, "I never took you for a delivery boy type."

"I never took you for a mother type," he retorted, looking past her shoulder at Elliot, who was currently trying to open the box with his safety scissors.

"Touché."

Beck's eyes softened then, and Jade sensed this conversation was about to drift to somewhere close to personal and she didn't want to go there.

"Where have you been all these years?" he asked.

"Here. Right here." She put a hand on the doorknob. They were indeed heading towards dangerous waters and she ready to slam the door in his face if need be.

"Jade." He walked closer, one hand on the doorframe, the other on her shoulder, lightly shoving her aside so he could step into her apartment. His eyes took in the living room's black-and-white striped wall, the small breakfast table with two chairs, the photos of Elliot on the walls. But mostly, he watched Elliot open the large box and dig through the Styrofoam peanuts. "Jade," he repeated, "what happened?"

She shut her eyes and wished with all her heart that Beck Oliver was not standing two inches away from her right now. This was not supposed to happen. She was finally getting her life together—she was happy now—and the last thing she needed is a blast from the past in the form of a delivery boy penetrating her personal bubble.

"Why didn't you keep in touch with us?" Beck continued. "You changed your number and didn't return any of our emails. We all thought you disappeared off the face of the Earth."

"I did. For all intents and purposes. And I lost my phone so I had to get a new one."

Beck was about to completely barge into her apartment but she stopped him.

"Well, this was fun," she said with biting sarcasm, using both hands to push him out the door. "But you should go now."

"But Jade, I need some answers."

"Just forget it, okay?" Then she promptly slammed the door in his face, as planned. He began pounding on the door, but she turned around and helped her son, who had somehow managed to fall into the box of Styrofoam peanuts.

"Look, Mommy!" Elliot B. exclaimed, holding the shiny orange object over his head, "It's the pogo stick you ordered."

"Yeah it is, Elliot. Happy birthday." Jade smiled, ruffling his sloppy dark hair.

The pounding at the door didn't stop and was now joined by some indiscernible shouts blurred by the door that prevented this unwanted intruder from her humble abode. Didn't the delivery boy have more deliveries to deliver.

"Mommy?" Elliot B. pointed at the door that was currently producing a whole lot of ruckus.

Jade groaned and cursed Beck's stubborn persistence. She ushered her son to try out his new pogo stick and opened the door again. "What, Beck?"

"I just want to know what happened. Why you're so different."

"You want to know what happened? Life happened. I made mistakes and then I fixed them. And I'm not different. I'm exactly the same. So just let it go." She moved to shut the door again, but this time, he put his hand out to stop her.

"It took me seven years to find you again. I'm not letting you go," he said.

The scene would have been a whole lot more romantic if he wasn't wearing that stupid hat. Just saying.

Jade wasn't ready for this. She's been hiding for so long that she felt utterly exposed standing in front of Beck, as if the old Jade she'd thrown away long ago was creeping out again. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Then she shut the door once again and listened as his footsteps retreated.

-::-::-

She should have known he would return. The next day, the doorbell rang again and when Jade looked through the peephole, she saw an overeager Beck standing at her door, thankfully this time in a t-shirt and jeans and no hat.

Still, she didn't want to face him.

"Elliot?" she called out. Her son bounced over on his pogo stick. "Go answer the door and tell the man that I'm not home, okay?" Then she dashed into the bathroom.

Obediently, Elliot bounced to the door, opened it, and grinned at Beck. "Hey, you're the man from yesterday who gave me this pogo stick. See?"

From behind the bathroom door, Jade strained to hear the conversation. Here goes nothing.

"Is your mom here?" Beck asked.

"Mommy is hiding in the bathroom." (Facepalm.) "But she wanted me to tell you that she isn't home." (Double facepalm.)

Beck laughed again and she wanted to punch him. But that would require her to leave the shelter of the bathroom and suffer further embarrassment, so she remained, counting the tiles on the floor.

"What's your name, buddy?" Beck asked.

"Elliot B. West."

"Nice to meet you, Elliot B. West. My name is Beck Oliver."

"Do I have to call you Mr. Oliver, then?"

"No, you can just call me Mr. Beck. So listen, Elliot, where's your dad?"

Jade felt like she was falling. This is not okay. Jade and Elliot never talk about his father. That topic is banned from this household and Beck should be arrested just for bringing it up. Beck is exploiting her innocent little child to learn every stalkerish detail about her life, which he has no business doing in the first place. Who does he think he is.

"I don't know. Mommy never talks about him," Elliot answered.

"Oh. Um, how old are you?"

"I just turned six. That's why I got this pogo stick."

The conversation turned to an excruciating silence and Jade no longer felt secure in her bathroom haven; she felt trapped. More than anything, she wanted to burst out and stop Beck and Elliot's conversation from taking a direction for the worst, but she figured that's exactly what Beck wanted her to do, so she remained. There were 17 tiles on the floor, if you were wondering.

"Does your mom have a boyfriend?" Beck asked, trying to act nonchalant and failing.

"Yes," her son replied. "I mean no. No. She broke up with her boyfriend. His name was Pete, I think. Or Joey. I forget." (And now Jade sounds like a whore. Fantastic.) "Hey, how do you know my mom?"

"We were…we were old friends. We went to high school together," Beck said in a heavy voice. "Okay, I've got to go. It was nice talking to you, Elliot. Tell your mother she can come out of the bathroom now."

"Bye, Mr. Beck."

When the front door was closed and locked, Jade walked out of the bathroom feeling very distraught. Her son bounced over with a smile on his face. "Mommy, I like Mr. Beck."

She was afraid of that.

-::-::-

Two days later, the doorbell rang again and sure enough, there was Beck. But Jade has learned her lesson, so she took her son back into her bedroom and the two of them played UNO while the doorbell continued to ring.

-::-::-

The next time the bell rang, it was the man who lived in the apartment right below her. He was bald, had glasses too small for his face, and was complaining about THUD-eek-THUD-eek noise of Elliot's nonstop pogo-ing.

Jade told him to buy some earplugs and have a nice day.

-::-::-

A week later, Beck showed up again. He rang the doorbell so many times that he broke her doorbell.

She swung the door open, fully intending to scream in his face, but Beck just stuck a skinny rectangular box at her. "I actually have a delivery this time," he said with a cheeky smile.

Giving him a suspicious glance, she opened the box to find a single flower amongst layers of tissue paper. It was a metallic rose, each petal sculpted out of thin sheets of aluminum, all connected to a smooth silver stem. She glanced at the small note and raised one pierced eyebrow.

"It's a delivery from yourself, idiot," she said.

Beck nodded, took off his ugly hat, and ran his hand through his surprisingly short hair. Looks like he got that haircut after all. "I know you don't like real flowers."

She had to admit, this aluminum rose was really beautiful and she loved it. It was full of sentiment and she had to give Beck credit for trying. It's been over a week and he's still sticking around. That's more than she can say for fish boy or Pete or Joey.

"Look, it's a really busy day and I have a lot more packages to deliver," he explained. "But can I call you, sometime? Please?"

It was like the first time he asked her out on a date, all over again. Only this time, they were eleven years older, Elliot was watching with expectant eyes, Beck was wearing a terrible uniform, and Jade was scared out of her mind.

"You don't have my number," she pointed out.

"This is the part where you give it to me."

-::-::-

There's a knock on her door three days later, as a certain doorbell was broken by a certain someone, and Jade opened it to find a person she never thought she would come face to face with ever again.

"Tori?"

"Oh my god, Jade, it is you!" Tori took the liberty to enter and throw her arms around Jade as if they were best friends. Which is funny, because Jade never considered Tori her best friend, or anything close to that category.

"Yep, it's me. And it's you," Jade replied drily, separating herself from the effervescent brunette.

There was a loud clank as Elliot dropped his beloved pogo stick onto the floor. (Take that, angry bald man.) "It's…it's…TORI VEGA!" Elliot shouted. "Mommy, you know Tori Vega?"

"Unfortunately," Jade muttered.

"This is so awesome! You're so famous!" Elliot ran over and attacked Tori with a hug. "Wait until I tell all my friends."

Yeah, yeah, Tori Vega is the new Hollywood breakout sensation, her smile gracing every magazine across the nation. She's so rich and famous and successful. Big whoop.

"Is that Elliot B. West? He's adorable," Tori said.

Jade turned towards her. "How do you know my son's name? More importantly, how do you know where I live?"

"Well, Beck was telling us about you and I just had to come see—"

"Beck has been telling people?"

Tori gave her such a maternal look. "Jade, we were so worried about you. What happened?"

Jade shrugged. "If I didn't tell Beck, what makes you think I'll tell you?"

"Do you…hate me?"

"Don't flatter yourself, honey. I hate everyone." Jade made a show of walking past Tori, flipping her hair in the A-list celebrity's face. "Elliot, remember you have soccer practice today."

Elliot nodded, then glanced at the clock, then jumped in shock. "Oh no, I'm going to be late! Practice starts an hour early today!"

Of course, the aforementioned mom-of-the-year did not know of this and was now hustling around the apartment finding Elliot's soccer equipment while Elliot changed into his uniform. She hastily tied his cleats for him and ushered him towards the door, but was blocked by an arms-crossed Tori staring at her expectantly.

"What happened, Jade?" Tori repeated. "I'm not leaving until you tell me."

"I have to get my son to his soccer practice. And why do you and Beck keep asking me that? Why do you want to know?"

"Because we care about you," Tori said, her voice softening. "You're still our friend, even if we aren't yours anymore. And Beck, he still loves you."

Jade squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. She stalked off into the living room but Tori quickly followed. That girl wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"I messed up, okay?" Jade finally admitted.

Tori motioned for her to continue.

"Right after we graduated Hollywood Arts, I got this movie gig and everything was great. I was nailing the rehearsals, the director really loved me, and it was going to be my breakthrough movie. But all my costars were the snobbiest, most self-obsessed prima donnas I've ever met and they treated everyone like crap. I'm not exactly at a place to judge, since I treat everyone like crap, too. But put six people who treat each other like crap and you'll get an explosion eventually. We got in a fight, I called one of the girls a 'skinny bitch with tacky hair extensions to cover her low self-esteem', and the next thing I knew, I was shoved down a flight of stairs and broke my leg."

"Oh no." Tori gasped. Her eyes were sad and this was exactly why Jade didn't want to tell people. She didn't want them to feel sorry for her. She didn't need their stupid sympathy.

"Mom, I'm going to be late," Elliot reminded once more.

"I'll be right there." Now that Jade had started confessing to Tori, she felt this sort of release. Like all her secrets have been held back and the accumulated pressure was too much and now that the dam has been broken, she can't help the rest of the secrets from pouring out as well.

"You can't play a dancer when you have a broken leg," she continued. "My character had to be recast, I lost my movie role, and my costars just laughed. I had nowhere to go. I never started college since I landed the movie role, so I had to move back in with my parents. Then, I found out I was three months pregnant. And when you're a pregnant teenager with a broken leg, you can't get any roles. You're just a freak show."

"But Jade," Tori said gently, "why didn't you come to us? We could have helped you, if only we'd known."

"I don't need your help."

Tori looked offended. Mission accomplished.

"Besides, that was all a long time ago," Jade said. "I already dug myself out of that ditch, as you can see. I write screenplays for indie films now. I'm maybe not as successful as you are, but I get by. Elliot and I are perfectly happy just the way we are. So, please kindly get out of my house."

"Jaaaade," Tori complained.

"Toriiiiii," Jade mimicked.

Jade's phone rang then and she hurried to answer it. But one glance at the caller ID and she tossed it haphazardly onto the couch.

"Aren't you going to get that?" Tori questioned.

"Nah, it's Beck. That dude will not leave me alone. I mean seriously, does he have nothing better to do than call me fifty times per day. I thought he had a job. Is he calling me while driving that stupid delivery truck? What is it with you people, anyway. Can't you see that I'm a lost case? I would have given up on myself a long time ago…Vega, what are you doing?" Jade abruptly ended her rant when she saw Tori dive onto the couch and answer the phone.

"Oh hi, Beck," Tori greeted, whilst running around the coffee table, away from a raging Jade. "I'm over at Jade's place right now. She says hi."

Jade glared. "I do not say hi. I say he can go to hell. Give me back my phone, woman."

Tori listened to Beck for a second, then politely covered the speaker and turned to Jade. "Beck wants to tell you that you shouldn't let your six-year-old son roam the streets alone."

Jade frantically looked around her apartment but alas!, Elliot and his soccer gear were nowhere to be seen and the front door was left wide open. Her son had left to walk to soccer practice by himself and now Beck had him. Her parenting skills were really beginning to bite her in the butt.

Snatching the phone from Tori's hands, Jade screamed into the receiver. "Listen up, Oliver. If you kidnap my son, I'll neuter you."

Tori scrunched her eyebrows at that horrific thought. Beck only chuckled before hanging up. Furious, Jade grabbed Tori's wrist and dragged the ex-friend, now celebrity down the elevator and out the apartment building. There at the end of the street, just as she dreaded, was Beck in his awful delivery boy getup, sitting in his fat delivery truck. Elliot sat next to him. And, kill her now, Elliot was wearing Beck's damn hat.

"Mommy!" Elliot greeted as Jade and Tori ran towards the truck. "Mr. Beck said he can drive me to practice so I won't be late."

"You are not riding in that thing," Jade interjected. "It doesn't even have doors."

"For expedient deliveries, strictly regulation. Do you know how much time is lost opening and closing doors?" Beck countered with a smirk.

Since all of this was occurring around an intersection in the greater Los Angeles metropolis, thirty minutes from Hollywood, it didn't take long for a paparazzo to recognize Tori Vega and come running at them with his long-lensed camera, angled not quite differently from say, a BB gun or something of the rifle type. Tori sighed all diva-like, put on her sunglasses, gave Beck and Jade a hug (especially reluctant on Jade's part), gave Elliot B. a high five, and left for her car. Leaving Beck, Jade, and Elliot with quite the awkward silence.

"Well," Beck said finally. "Better jump aboard or we're leaving without you."

"You can't just drive off with my son without my permission," Jade challenged, crossing her arms.

Beck turned his ignition and drove off with Jade's son without her permission.

"Okay, okay, fine," Jade said, running to catch up with them. She climbed onto the driver side, stepped over Beck with a cold glare, and sat down on the passenger seat. Elliot, much to Jade's dismay, went to sit on Beck's lap. Not knowing what to do, Jade simply reached over and snatched the distasteful hat off her son's head. Together, the three of them drove off to the neighborhood soccer field.

Thanks to Beck's lift, they arrived just on time and Elliot ran towards his teammates, bragging about how Tori Vega was in his house and about his sweet ride in a door-less, rectangular, delivery truck. Jade scoffed at the thought, but apparently Elliot's friends thought it was the coolest thing.

Jade fiddled with the hat in her hands. Even though Beck was a good four feet away, it felt much too close, and even though there were no doors, she was suffocating. Beck just gave her his signature smile, like he had her just where he wanted her. For all she knows, he and Tori probably planned this entire thing.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Beck asked. "And why are you doing such a bad job at it?"

She glared but to no effect, since he was watching the soccer field, not her. "Why are you such a pain in the ass?"

He sighed, all joking aside, unbuckled his seat belt, and moved to sit beside Jade, right at her feet. He leaned his head against her knee and looked up at her. "Talk to me."

Maybe the light the afternoon sun cast on Beck's face made him extremely swoon-worthy, or maybe Jade was just emotionally drained from telling the whole story to Tori a few minutes prior. But for whatever reason, Jade finally succumbed and figured she could get Beck off her back if she just told him. So she did.

After she finished her narrative, he just stared at her for a few moments. And then, out of the blue, asked, "Am I Elliot's father?"

The whispered question hung in the air.

Is Beck Elliot's father?

Jade threw her head back and laughed. "Wouldn't that be the most predictable, over-used storyline ever? The high school sweetheart as the father of the illegitimate child. Good one, Oliver."

Confused by her outburst, Beck gave a few shaky laughs as well. "Yeah, pretty cliché."

"You know what would be funnier?" Jade asked between laughs. "If the B in Elliot B. West stood for Beckett."

The two of them laughed some more; Jade's laughter was on the brink of insanity and Beck had no idea why they were even laughing in the first place.

"But seriously," Jade suddenly deadpanned, all humor drained from her face. "You're not Elliot's dad. And the B stands for Bryce."

She expected Beck to look relieved at the fact that he did not have a son he never knew about. Most people tend to be. But instead, Beck looked disappointed. Wistful, even. Almost as if he believed they really could have been something. That struck a chord within her, since she had long stopped believing that anyone would truly care for someone like her.

Avoiding his painfully forlorn expression, Jade glanced absentmindedly towards the field. "Did you...did you want to be? His dad?"

Then his hands were on her waist and he was pulling her down onto his lap. He held her to his chest, not too close but close enough. She still didn't dare look him in the eyes.

"Elliot told me I'm his favorite," Beck said, somewhat non sequitur. "Of all your past boyfriends, he says I'm his favorite."

Beck was her favorite, too. Not that she was going to admit it. So they simply sat together on the floor of Beck's delivery truck while sounds of the soccer field drifted through the nonexistent doors. Two ex-lovers who used to be each other's everything. Who still could be.

She rested her head on his shoulder. He didn't seem to mind.

-::-::-

A little later, she realized she was still holding his hat.

"What about you?" she asked, placing the hat on his head, then grimacing and taking the hat back off. "You know all about me now, so what about you?"

"I'm a delivery boy."

She smacked him with his hat and he chuckled.

"Okay, okay. It's been six months since I've landed a role. You gotta make a living somehow."

"But you just had to choose a job with such a horrible uniform."

"I think I look sexy in it."

"No."

"No?"

"No."

-::-::-

It was one in the morning when Jade's phone rang. Just guess who it was.

"What now," she barked into the phone, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She had just spent a whole afternoon with the guy, in his rectangular delivery truck no less.

"Open the door. I'm outside."

"Creeper much?"

But she dragged herself from her bed, walked down the hall, and opened the door. And before she could even open her mouth to ask who in his right mind would bother someone at this bloody hour, Beck kissed her.

"What do you think you're doing here, buddy?" she asked, pulling away. He lunged for her again so she had to retreat another step. You know, not that making out with Beck Oliver is the worst thing in the world, but still, she'd like to know what the occasion is.

"Why did you break up with me?" he asked. A bit late (like, by seven years) but he asked.

The question caught her off guard and she groped the air around her for words. "Um…you…we...we just…you want to know now?"

"I never got to ask, Jade. You just up and dumped me one day and then you left. You disappeared. I lost you for seven years and I never got to ask. And now that I've found you again, and after today...I need to know why I'm not good enough."

Jade sighed and pulled Beck to sit with her on the couch. "I didn't think we were going to last," she explained. "High school romances are nice but they always burn out. I mean, at the end, it was either we stay together and get married, or we break up. So."

"That's it? That's the only reason you broke up with me."

"Yes."

"Jade." He sounded so exhausted and she almost felt guilty. "There wasn't anything wrong with us. We didn't have any problems. Why didn't you give us a chance?"

"Happy endings are so cliché."

Beck shook his head slowly and stood up. "So then you're just going to live like this."

"I'm content."

"Are you."

They both glared at each other, daring the other to back down first.

"What," Beck finally broke the silence, "are you trying to prove?"

Here, Jade experienced something close to an epiphany. In which she realized just how stubborn and difficult she was being and maybe along the way, sometime long ago, she forgot what she was even fighting for.

Beck stepped closer, reached out, and pulled Jade up to stand in front of him, their bodies only a few negligible centimeters apart. Flashback after flashback of cherished memories flooded Jade's mind until she herself can't deny the love she felt—the love she still feels—for this man in front of her; and every half-baked resolve crumbles to her feet until she is asking herself why, oh why did she ever push him away.

"You don't have to be your own enemy just to show you're independent," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "It doesn't have to be this difficult."

With her new revelation swirling around her head and in such proximity to Beck, Jade's heart was pounding and her stomach was lurching and she was sweating and blushing all over the place. Basically, she was a mess. Mom, I like Mr. Beck...Beck, he still loves you...It doesn't have to be this difficult. So she raised her head and kissed him back, to hell with her crusade against clichés, just look how well that turned out.

-::-::-

The next morning after breakfast ("Oh hi, Mr. Beck, why are you here so early?"), they walked together to drop Elliot off at his school. Elliot's kindergarten teacher gave Jade and Beck a sidelong, criticizing glance. She could hear the parent-teacher conference already: Ms. West, having a revolving door of boyfriends is not healthy for your son's development, he needs a stable father figure, et cetera, ad naseum.

Jade grabbed Beck's hand, in an attempt to show the nosy teacher that it's different this time, that she was actually going to try to commit, that she believes in relationships now. But then again, since when did she have to gain the favor of that woman anyway.

As they walked away together into the growing California traffic, Beck wrapped his arm around her shoulders and smiled. Here's to a second chance, he seemed to be saying, here's to an unconventional ending. She beamed back and wrapped her arm around his waist, their bodies fitting together, two halves of one off-kilter whole.

there you have it. yay? nay? too (ironically) cliche?

i can't take complete credit here; this oneshot was partly inspired by the camp rock nitchie fanfic life sucks by missnata13.

if you don't know, a while ago i wrote a fanfic that was really a character guessing game. the top five winners receive a oneshot written in their honor about their fave pairing. blondemascaraprincess, being #1, requested bade. i'm a bori shipper myself, so i thought writing this would prove to be difficult. well, the opposite happened, actually. this oneshot ended up being too long and i had to trim it down to this 11-page glory, still a bit iffy on the ending, but i hope you liked it.