Gosh! I really don't know quite what to say! The sheer amount of amazing reviews and comments has really rendered me speechless. Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments. But I do own the little stories at the bottom of this chapter.
Well…Not, entirely. ;)
As a thank you for all of you out there, I've written some little short stories at the end of this chapter. I've taken the most liked status' from the whole of this story and written the background for how they were created. I hope you like them, just think of them as a little 'Thank-You' from me to you :)
I did less of the actual Facebook thing because of how long the stories have become, but I promise it'll all go back to normal in the next chapter.
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)
Clary Fray to Magnus The Magnificent- I like your new name, it's so true ;)
(Magnus The Magnificent likes this)
Jackass Jace- Pft, as if. It should be 'Magnus The Turd' or 'Manky Magnus'
Magnus The Magnificent- You're just jealous of my stunning good looks and amazing personality.
Jackass Jace- Why; Thank you for describing my best qualities! ;)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)* Eric-
Alexander Lightwood- I'm feeling so lesbian today.
(Clary Fray, Magnus The Magnificent, Raphael and 4 other people like that)
Alexander Lightwood- Friggin phone, I'm not a girl. *Lesbian.
Alexander Lightwood- *Lazy
Alexander Lightwood- I swear that if Magnus didn't give me the eyes whenever I threaten to bash the screen in – I'd burn this thing on a Bongo.
Alexander Lightwood- *Backpack
Alexander Lightwood- *Budapest
Alexander Lightwood- *Buttock
(Eric and Simon like this)
Alexander Lightwood- Ugh! *Beanbag
Alexander Lightwood- *Bingo wings
(Clary Fray, Isabelle Lightwood, Maia and 2 other people like this)
Alexander Lightwood- *Bicycle
Alexander Lightwood- *Binoculars
Alexander Lightwood- *Bra
Alexander Lightwood- *Barbeque
Alexander Lightwood- YES! Finally! Lets try this again.
Alexander Lightwood- I swear that if Magnus didn't give me the eyes whenever I threaten to bash the screen in – I'd burn it on the barbeque.
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
(Jackass Jace, Simon and Magnus the Magnificent like this)
Jackass Jace- What happens if you get turned into a really fat 70 year-old woman with 18 cats?
Eric- That won't happen! All the doctors in Doctor Who are somewhat good looking.
Magnus the Magnificent- Somewhat, you say?
Eric- Yup :)
Magnus the Magnificent- So, you could be a 20 year old dude with a really hot face, but then he has the body of a walrus. What would you do then?
Eric- You really do know how to crush a guys dreams, don't you?
(Jackass Jace and Eric like this)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Isabelle Lightwood- Nothing like some toast and bacon in the morning – shame I didn't have anyone to share it with *coughJACEANDALECcough*
(Jackass Jace, Eric, Simon and 3 other people like this)
Jackass Jace- We have a perfectly reasonable explanation for that…
Isabelle Lightwood- Which is?
Jackass Jace- Uh.
Jackass Jace- We had to go rescue a…a…red squirrel from a birdfeeder.
(Simon and Eric like this)
Jackass Jace- …It was a very important task, seeing that red squirrels are endangered.
(Eric and Raphael like this)
Isabelle Lightwood- And it took two grown men to rescue this…squirrel?
Simon- I detect a lie.
(Eric likes this)
Jackass Jace- Shut the hell up! It wasn't a lie!
Isabelle Lightwood- After having breakfast I saw you two eating pancakes in Taki's in your PJ's
(Simon, Eric, Magnus the Magnificent and 4 other people like this)
Jackass Jace- Fine, we just wanted to escape your cooking.
Isabelle Lightwood- My cooking was lovely! Oh, and Alec, you're silk PJ's were very lovely.
Alexander Lightwood- Oh no…I forgot I was wearing those… ):
(Magnus the Magnificent likes this)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*
Story 1 (Based on Alec's status to Magnus in chapter 1)
STATUS:
Alexander Lightwood to Magnus 'sparkles' Bane-Whenever I'm around you I want to rip those tantalizingly tight clothes from your body and ravish you. You're such a hottie! Call me for a good time baby! You know where I am ;)
"Hurry up and get the popcorn! The movies about to start!" Jace yelled, his eyes were fixated on the TV screen – sock covered feet propped up on the coffee table which was littered with empty pizza boxes, half-full bottles of cola and screwed up crisp packets. He did have the bin nearby though, in case there was a sudden appearance of Maryse who would skin them alive for the trashing the place. Yawning, he grabbed Alec's phone when it made a little chirp noise, some text from Magnus claiming that there was such a thing as edible glitter.
"I can't find it!" Alec's muffled voice yelled back; it was hard to hear through the shuffling of boxes "Crap! I think Iz has put it in Church's food bowl again, no matter how many times I tell her. Cats have to eat cat food."
Jace's brow creased in confusion at his parabati's statement as he idly flicked through Alec's facebook inbox. "Oh well, I think there's some Pringles in the cupboard. The one to the left of the sink" Jace replied, hiding an amused chortle as he replied to various messages.
"Kay" Alec said back, continuing his search for the barbeque flavoured Pringles. Jace hit the pause button on the TV and resumed his previous task of sending flirtatious messages to Simon and Raphael. Oh, Alec was going to punch him to the high heavens for this – But the confused replies from their friends made it seem worth it. Suddenly, an idea hit him. Laughing lightly, Jace went to Magnus' homepage and typed up the quick (And highly inappropriate) message. He managed to click send and place the phone back on the table as Alec entered the room and collapsed heavily on the sofa – crunching crisps noisily. However, he suddenly paused and turned to look at Jace with an apprehensive look, the same one he gave Isabelle when she served him a chocolate spread and fish finger sandwich yesterday for lunch.
"What have you done?" Alec inquired; he grabbed the remote and hit play before leaning back against the plush cushions "You've got that look on your face. The one you have when you've done something that highly amusing for you but disastrous for someone else"
Jace gave Alec a shit-eating grin and merely replied with a swift "I really don't know what you're talking about. Must be that Sandwich from yesterday – Messing with your head or something"
At the mention of that dreaded sandwich and the hours of vomiting it caused, Alec turned slightly green around the edges and busied himself with checking for messages. His eyes sparked with confusion when he saw that his facebook was open and that he had…10 notifications. Apparently he'd sent Magnus a message. His face turned from apprehensive to horrified within seconds. Jace couldn't help himself and openly chuckled, much to the annoyance of the red faced male next to him.
"Ohhhh…" Alec began; his eyes were narrowed – Like sharp, dangerous shards of sapphire "You are so dead"
Jace swore loudly as a remote smacked against the side of his face.
Story 2 (Based on Magnus' status in the second chapter)
STATUS:
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- CHAIRMAN MEOW JUST ATE MY GLITTER, THE LITTLE FLUFF-BALL! :C
"I SAVED YOUR SORRY LITTLE ARSE OFF THE STREETS. I GIVE YOU FRESH MILK AND WATER. YOU GET THE BEST FREAKING CAT FOOD THERE IS. AND WHAT DO YOU DO! YOU EAT MY GLITTER! YOU ATE MY LIMITED EDITION AUQAMARINE COLOUR. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! I WAS GOING TO WEAR THAT FOR MY DATE TONIGHT" Magnus screamed, his hair was in mess, guyliner smudged around his furious animalistic eyes, hands balled at the sides of his slender frame. The little white cat merely squatted and did a little tinkle on the lovely antique Persian rug in reply, causing Magnus to scream in frustration.
He grabbed the kitten around the middle and yanked him from the floor, ignoring the blur of claws and screeching meows.
Suddenly –Much to Magnus' relief- Chairman Meow ceased his struggle and gave Magnus a look of deep concentration. Magnus quirked his eyebrow in confusion and said "What now?"
Chairman Meow promptly threw up the contents of his stomach onto his retro sofa before sending Magnus something akin to a cat-smirk; Magnus swore that the sparkling blue vomit started sizzling and burning at the fabric. Apparently pleased with the corrosive quality of his stomach acid and the horrified look on Magnus' face, Chairman leapt from him Magnus' arms and scampered towards the bedroom to hide for the next hour.
Little Story 3 (Jace's status in chapter 12)
STATUS:
Jackass Jace- Attention occupants of the Institute. Attention occupants of the Institute. Clarissa Fray is making dinner, followed by homemade steamed toffee sponge. Isabelle Lightwood is not. And I repeat NOT. Making dinner tonight. You don't have to find place the sick-bucket next to your bed, or smuggle a packet of paracetamol upstairs. Because Clarissa Fray is making dinner. Thank you for listening. Ps. I bugsy second helpings of the toffee sponge.
"Watcha doing?" Jace sung, tan arms wound around Clary's slender waist from behind and a blonde head rested comfortably on her shoulder.
"Cooking" Clary replied; she snuggled back into Jace's embrace and continued stirring the mince so it didn't burn "Iz is feeling ill and asked if I could make some dinner. I'm making toffee sponge with homemade custard for dessert"
Smiling broadly, Jace mumbled "Have I ever mentioned how much I love you" He kissed the side of Clary's pale freckled neck "It's been ages since we've been fed good food. The only thing Isabelle's food succeeds in doing is corroding the cutlery"
"Hey!" Isabelle's cold ridden voice exclaimed, she'd shuffled into the kitchen to grab a can of fizzy tropical and a couple of codeine. Clary noted that even though her nose was pink tinged, her face pale and long black hair pulled up into a scruffy ponytail; she still looked beautiful. "You just don't know good food when you see it" She continued, pulling a face at the sour taste of the pain medication, she lightly whacked Jace on the shoulder on the way out. Before the door closed behind her, Jace managed to yell out.
"Nice Hello Kitty PJ's, Iz"
Clary giggled at the other girls angry huff of annoyance.
Little story 4 (Simon's comment to Eric in chapter 17)
STATUS:
Simon to Eric- Hello Zitzilla. (Then the whole 'Eric the zit nosed teenger' song by Magnus happened)
"It's massive" Eric cried in despair, prodding the rather large spot on his nose "It's like, blocking 50% of my vision" Simon laughed at his best friends antics and continued setting up the drum kit in the living room of his and Kyle's shared apartment for band practice. "It'll go soon" The vampire said.
"The gig's tomorrow! And what if I get lucky?" Eric huffed "The only way I can hide it is if I put my hair over my face. I'm so not getting laid when I look like cousin It"
The rest of the band members chose that moment to enter the trendy apartment, carrying various instruments, or in Kyle's case; a take-away McDonalds bag.
"Woah!" Kirk exclaimed, a look of shock on his face "What on earth is that…that…thing on your nose" Eric gave a pitiful cry and covered his face, much to the other guys amusement.
"He's worried that it'll put all the girls off" Simon snorted, Matt chuckled and mumbled a quick "He doesn't need the zit to put all the girls off" Him and Kirk gave each other a high five. "Oh come on guys" Kyle began, greedily chomping at his Big Mac "Poor guy, stop teasing him"
A moments silence passed
"But heck!" Kyle winced, peering closer at Eric's nose "I think that thing is as big as America"
Little story 5 (Magnus' status in chapter 18)
STATUS:
Magnus 'sparkles' Bane- I keep hearing creepy noises from under my bed, I'm seriously waiting for a pack of hungry half-decayed zombies to come out and eat my face and then tons of baby warlock/shadowhunter hybrids to break out of my rib cage and eat my glitter.
"Did you hear that!"
Alec gave a tired mumble in reply "Magnus…It's…" He craned his neck to peer at the red numbers blinking on the plastic digital clock "…2 in the morning"
"So?" Magnus whispered against Alec's neck, his tone deadly serious "It might be a pack of hungry half-decayed zombies" His tan arms tightened around his fiancé's warm torso "They might eat my glitter"
Alec sighed and rolled over, so instead of Magnus' face pressing against the back of his neck; they were face to face, Magnus's makeup free eyes were a stunning amber green in the limited light "Mags" He began "I highly doubt that it's a…Shit! What the heck was that!"
Magnus gave a chuckle at the look on bewildered look on Alec's face "Believe me now?"
Alec reluctantly pushed the duvet off his body and leant over the side of the bed to peer under into the dark depths. There were a few stray socks, empty hair gel containers and a few half-chewed shoes – Courtesy of Chairman Meow. "I can't see anything"
Coughing, Magnus diverted his eyes from the back of Alec's rather nice thighs to the edge of the bed "You mustn't be looking hard enough. I can hear something scratching"
Alec leant a little further over the side of the bed and Magnus had to hide a highly amused laugh when the top of his Pj bottoms slipped down – revealing a pair of borrowed hot pink boxers. He grabbed his phone off the bedside table and grabbed a quick photo, perfect blackmail material. Alec's startled cry however, made Magnus drop his phone in shock.
"Ack! It's a rat! Chairman must have brought it up here" Alec exclaimed as he leapt backwards as something shot from under the bed. Before it got away and stole his glitter, Magnus pushed Alec off the bed and onto the poor unsuspecting rat with a loud thud. Or in the rat's case, a disgusting squish noise.
"Opps" Magnus said "Sorry about that, my hands slipped"
Little Story 6 (Isabelle's status in chapter 22)
STATUS:
Isabelle Lightwood- The iron broke when I was ironing the clothes D:
After about half an hour Isabelle managed to successfully get the ironing board up without it falling down, brimming with achievement, she dumped the basket full of creased (But washed) clothing down her feet and picked a T-Shirt at random. It was one of Clary's, she noted. A cute pale green halter neck with white detailing around the edges. After laying it flat on the ironing board she grabbed the hot iron by the handle and began to run it over the soft fabric.
"Crappy iron" Iz cursed "Why don't you get the creases out"
She thought deeply back to the conversation earlier this morning, where her mum explained to her in detail about how to iron clothes perfectly. "Of course!" Isabelle said to herself "I need the friggin ironing water"
She'd searched in all the cupboards in the Institute, the boys rooms, the toilet and all of the other rooms for this oh-so-special 'Ironing-Water' but having failed in her search she returned back to the kitchen, a look of annoyance crossing her face.
'Surely…' She thought 'I can just use something that's watery. That's all it needs, something to create steam'
She grabbed the nearby carton of apple juice and poured the whole lot into the iron. It was watery apple juice anyway; and nobody liked it – at least it was going to good use.
…And that, ladies and gentlemen. Is the story of how the iron died.
Little Story 7 (Clary's status in chapter 4)
STATUS:
Clary Fray- Just a message to everyone, Jace is ill.
- - - - -
Clary and Isabelle looked up from their bowls of Cheerio's as Alec raced into the kitchen. He was hurriedly battling a black T-Shirt over his head and desperately trying not to trip on his undone sneaker laces. After finally managing to yank his shirt on, he grabbed his wallet off the counter with his left hand and tucked the laces inside his shoes with his right.
"What's up?" Iz asked after a few moments; she shoved another spoonful of cereal into her mouth and chewed slowly, running her eyes down her brother's war-torn jeans. "Did you just realize that the charity shop down the road is doing another 2-for-1 deal?"
"Haha" Alec laughed dryly, wincing as he saw himself in the mirror, it looked someone had dripped a grenade on his head "As a matter of fact, Jace is ill" He ran a hand roughly through his hair to try and tame it into something that didn't resemble a startled octopus.
Isabelle dropped her spoon in shock "Seriously?" Alec nodded swiftly "Hence the reason why I'm going to convince Magnus to take me somewhere far, far, away. I'm thinking China. Maybe New Zealand" He grabbed his keys and legged it for the door "Bye! See you when we're out of the red zone. If you want to avoid him, I'd leave now. I can hear the floorboards creaking in his room" The heavy door slammed shut behind him.
"What was that all about?" Clary asked, confusion lacing her soft voice. She turned back to Isabelle only to find that she was quickly pulling her hair up into a fancy bun before rimming her dark eyes with eyeliner, how she managed to do it so quickly – Clary didn't know "Get out quick" She replied quickly over her shoulder "Jace is the worst ill person ever. Last time, he forced Alec to give him a foot rub and made me bring him up hot lemsips throughout the day. Oh! And he made us fluff his pillows, cut his dinner for him, comb his hair and spray anti-bacterial spray in his room. He's a bit of a germaphobe"
"Guyssss…Guyssssss" Jace's tired voice yelled, his feet making the steps creak on the staircase.
Clary caught the jacket that Iz threw at her but she shook her head firmly and put it aside "Jace is my boyfriend. I need to be there through thick and thin. He's always been there for me when I was ill" Isabelle merely shrugged and uttered a quick "Good luck" before running out the house, though she made sure to close the door carefully so Jace didn't hear.
"Clarryyyy? Can you comb my hair? The little knots are tugging at my poor sensitive scalp and giving me a headache" Jace moaned, his footsteps were gradually getting louder.
Clary promptly grabbed the jacket Isabelle threw at her earlier, pulled it on and ran out the house before Jace saw her.
Little Story 8: (Isabelle's status in this Chapter)
STATUS:
Isabelle Lightwood- Nothing like some toast and bacon in the morning – shame I didn't have anyone to share it with *coughJACEANDALECcough*
When Jace woke up, it was to the smell of burning toast and bacon; he remembered the last time this kind of shit went down (Which was yesterday, in case you find yourself riddled with curiosity) and therefore was slightly apprehensive of entering the Warzone (Aka – The Kitchen) which in turn would mean having to confront the enemy and their weapons (Aka – Isabelle and the spatula)
He rolled over and contemplated his options. He could go with plan A and pull the classic 'I'm-Feeling-Too-Sick-To-Eat' card, but he had a hunch that Alec was going to do that. So that left plan B and C left; Suicide or sewing his mouth shut. However, both of those ideas would mean having to mutate his magnificent God-Like body – That would be a waste of such a fine specimen of a man.
The door to his bedroom creaked open and his Parabati slipped inside, he was merely wearing some loose fitting navy silk PJ bottoms, clearly brought by Magnus in a effort to 'Gay up the gays wardrobe' as he'd so kindly stated the other day.
"Isabelle is cremating bacon again" He mumbled, looking displeased. Jace snorted in reply, kicked the covers off himself and searched through his wardrobe for something clean to wear.
"I think I'll throw up if Iz makes me eat more of her food" Alec continued "I nearly choked on a Brussel Sprout yesterday. They were as hard as cannon balls"
Jace paused, blonde eyebrows furrowing in thought "We had brussel sprouts yesterday?" he pulled on a clean red T-Shirt, he didn't bother changing his PJ bottoms.
"Yeah" Alec said absent-mindlessly "For dinner, remember?" He caught the plain black shirt that Jace threw in his direction. "Ooh…I thought they were meatballs" Jace hummed, he noticed the look of confusion on Alec's face "And put the shirt on. Were going jump from my window and go to Taki's for breakfast" Jump was a bit of an exaggeration, seeing as there was a whacking great oak tree growing outside, it was easy to climb down.
"Also, it's payback for when Iz ditched me when I was ill" Jace added. Thank you for reading, and I really do hope you like this chapter! I did go through this numerous times for spelling errors, but a few might have slipped through since I was a little distracted by Sherlock. Have a lovely day/evening/night :)
*(Facebook And Other Shenanigans)*