A/N: This is a late Birthday present for Massey, I'm incapable of doing anything on time you see. Happy belated birthday, 'though!

Disclaimer: I must not tell lies. The Crazy Dyslexic Nerd does not own the Chronicles of Narnia.

Lucy Meets a Talking Kumquat

One day, scarce a year after the defeat of the White Witch, a little girl was walking calmly on a path through the gardens of Cair Paravel. She wasn't an ordinary little girl by any means; this Daughter of Eve, who could have no more than nine summers to her name, was in fact the youngest Queen of Narnia. Narnia, it must be said, was no more ordinary then the daughter of Eve. For one thing it had Four Monarchs-two Kings and two Queens, and none were married. The Four were brothers and sisters, called High King Peter the Magnificent, Queen Susan the Gentle, King Edmund the Just, and Queen Lucy the Valiant. This is a tale of the Valiant Queen, as I already mentioned; although, the others come into it later on.

As I said before, the young Queen wandered a garden path; surrounded by lovely flowers of all sorts. Lucy was walking towards a shaded spot when she heard a strange noise coming from a thicket of roses climbing on a trellis she remembered was a coronation gift from the Calormene Tisroc. She, being of a curious nature, went to investigate. As she approached the source of the odd rustling, hand on the small dagger which Father Christmas had gifted her, she saw a small orange fruit appear from the brush. She squeaked in surprise, and jumped back. For all that she was used to Talking Animals, I dare you to see if you aren't quite as surprised, if not more so, to see a Kumquat jump out of a bush. And a Kumquat it was, a giant Kumquat to be sure, but a Kumquat all the same.

Lucy, being a bit more used to such occurrences then you or I would be, recovered her wits quickly, and said, politely, "Good morn, Cousin." All Narnians were addressed as 'Cousin' by the monarchs.

The Kumquat said, in a squeaky little voice, "Your Majesty, if I might introduce myself, I am Dwergsinaasappel, but many call me Sinaa."

Lucy, who was rather glad she didn't have to say the Fruit's entire name, said, "Welcome to Cair Paravel, Mistress Sinaa," (She knew instinctively that the Kumquat was female), "Is there any way I, or my Royal Siblings, may assist you?"

Sinaa replied, "Majesty, I represent the Talking Fruit population of Narnia, and have come to bring my peoples greetings. I would have come sooner, but we have been living so long in hidden places that we only just heard the news of the Witch's defeat. In fact I believe that few Narnians remember the existence of Talking Fruits."

"Oh, well, if your people need any assistance in re-adjusting to a world free of an endless winter, we would be happy to offer what we may." Said the flustered young Queen, adding, and sounding more like the child she was then she had for the entire meeting, "My siblings and I have never heard of Talking Fruit, are there many of you?"

Sinaa, looking a little amused at the confusion swiftly turning to excitement in her young Queen's face, said, "We are a small population, many of the Dryads who parent us were killed in the beginning battle with Jadis." Seeing Lucy's confusion, the Kumquat added, kindly, "Jadis is the given name of the White Witch.

Lucy nodded in understanding, and then seemed to remember something, "Oh, my siblings would be so very pleased to meet you, I really should go and fetch them!" She was about to run off before remembering that Queens don't simply run off and leave a guest without so much as an 'Excuse me'. She said, much more slowly and Queen-like, "Pray, excuse me as I go hither to fetch my Royal brothers and sister." As she went to find them, at top speed I might add, she thought she heard the Kumquat's chuckles in the air.


She quickly found Peter and Susan with heads bent over a document that looked very important, in fact it was the sort of document one would look to see if 'Very Important Document, Read Well and Thoroughly, and Be Very Serious while Reading' was written on it, it wasn't, but that isn't at all pertinent to the story.

Lucy ran up to her oldest brother and sister, saying excitedly, "Peter, Susan, you simply must come at once! There's a Talking Kumquat in the garden called Sinaa, and she is such a dear!" She said all this very quickly, and when she finished she was quite out of breathe.

The two looked up, and Peter said, "Lu, can you tell us about your games after supper, please? I know that you've nothing left to do, but Susan and I are very busy. Go play with Edmund." And they both went back to studying the 'Very Important Document'.

Lucy began, "But I-"

Susan cut her off, "We'll see whatever-it-is later, Lucy, we haven't time now. Run along and stop bothering us!"

Lucy was rather shocked at this brusque treatment, ever since coming to Narnia her siblings had listened and believed her; now Peter and Susan thought she was merely playing a game. She wouldn't have minded half so much if they had heard her out, and then said they were a bit to busy to see to a newly arrived guest, and that they were sure Lucy could do it on her own, or with Edmund's help, but they said nothing of the sort. She would do as they said, and find Edmund, he, at least, would hear her out.


Edmund, she found, was trying, and failing rather well, to focus on a heavy book about law. He was researching something to do with a disagreement between Squirrels about who could gather nuts from what tree. He had been researching for hours, and his just barely eleven year-old eyes couldn't focus on the tiny, looping script crawling, as it seemed, about the page.

He was, understandably, rather glad at the appearance of his younger sister. When she told him of their strange guest, he was all too eager to put down the book and follow her out into the garden. As they walked back to where Sinaa waited, Lucy told her brother of the 'conversation' with their older siblings, I hesitate to call it a conversation, as it really consisted more of lectures and ignoring than anything else. Edmund wasn't particularly surprised by this story; he had recently had a similar experience. Susan and Peter were rather busy, and were being somewhat more snappish then usual. This is quite reasonable, and happens to everyone some-times, but they had been ignoring their younger siblings horribly. The two older Monarchs still saw their younger brother and sister as little children, and, while this was true in many respects, all Four had been tasked with ruling, and it really couldn't hurt to listen to, (and ask for), their younger siblings thoughts and opinions.

"They could at least listen to you," Edmund said, "I don't mind to much if they ignore me; I'm rather used to it, and it's not like anything I've said was really much help, but they really should listen to you. I mean, you're the one who found Narnia."

"Ed, the way Orieus tells it, Peter wouldn't have had the confidence to battle the Witch without you. They promised to start listening to both of us, and to pay attention to how we felt, but you know the second part was for you." Lucy knew that her oldest siblings still thought that if they'd payed more attention to Edmund he never would have gone to the Witch when they first came to Narnia, "Now come on, Sinaa is just around this bend."

And so they came on the Talking Fruit. Edmund was rather surprised, not nearly so much as Lucy had been, but even though he had believed his sister, I must say that hearing about a Talking Kumquat and meeting one are rather different things.

He said, rather solemnly, "How do you do, Cousin?"

"Very well, thank you, your Majesty. It is a pleasure to meet you." Sinaa was, it must be said, a little bit curious as to why the Queen had come back with only one sibling, but didn't think it would be polite to ask, and anyway, they were probably busy.

The Kumquat's musings were interrupted by Queen Lucy's explanation, "The High King, and Gentle Queen were occupied with some sort of 'Important Document'. I couldn't interrupt them." This wasn't actually a lie; only it wasn't that Lucy felt she couldn't, it was that her eldest siblings hadn't allowed her to. "We would all be honoured, 'though, if you would join us for supper this evening." Edmund nodded at this; the Monarchs often had a representative of a group Narnians to dine with them, and Sinaa's company seemed quite enjoyable.

"I would be glad to." Said the Kumquat.


Several hours later, just before supper, Edmund went to find Peter and Susan, so he could try his luck getting them to listen , and at least tell them they had a dinner guest.

He found them still poring over the 'Very Important Document", and saw immediately why Lucy called it that.

Edmund, who had spent nearly an hour with Lucy planning his strategy to get Peter's and Susan's attention. He said, with a pretend nonchalance that he used when he had played a particularly good prank, which he wanted them to know about, (not what it was, but that it existed), "Hullo, what's that huge paper you two are reading?"

Susan immediately looked at her younger brother, "What ever have you done this time?" She sounded rather exasperated.

"I just thought you might want to know that we have a guest for supper." He said, still with the sort of false innocence bound to keep their attention.

Peter said, "Who?" Rather sharply.

"A Talking Fruit called Dwergsinaasappel," Edmund had a talent for pronouncing strange names or words, "Lucy met her in the garden and tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen."

His siblings just stared at him.

Minutes later, Peter said, "Ed, this isn't the time for a joke! Really, if you and Lucy wanted to play a prank you could at least have waited 'til we weren't as busy!"

Edmund didn't bother trying to convince them; they weren't going to believe him or Lucy. Instead he simply said, "We really do have a dinner guest." And left.

He told Lucy what had happened, and she merely pursed her lips and said, "Well, maybe once they see we were telling the truth, they'll stop being so 'mature'" The sarcasm was so very evident in her voice that Edmund laughed.

Feigning indignation, he said, "Hey! I'm the sarcastic one!"

Lucy was, no doubt, about to make a sarcastic reply, when they both realized it was supper time, and quickly went to the smaller dining hall.


Lucy and Edmund entered the dining hall with their guest, the Kumquat. They all sat to await the arrival of the elder Monarchs; who were rather late.

About five minutes later Peter and Susan entered, Sinaa and those other people who dined with the Pevensies when they were their, such as the Beavers and Mr Tumnus, rose. The High King and Gentle Queen quickly took their seats and gestured for all to be seated.

Lucy and Edmund glanced at one another; an air of mischief about them. Edmund said, dramatically, "Peter, Susan, you haven't met our guest yet."

The two, who had been talking, again, looked up. Peter said, "Oh, yes, I had nearly forgotten we were to have a guest."

Lucy, taking up where her dark-haired brother had left off, said, "Let me introduce you both to our guest." She gestured to Sinaa who was sitting on a tall stool often used for smaller sorts of guests. "Pete, Su, let me present Lady-, I'm afraid I can't pronounce your full name." She said to the Kumquat Lady.

"Dwergsinaasappel, your Majesties, but Sinaa is what most call me." Sinaa quickly said.

Lucy continued, "Yes, This is Lady Sinaa. Lady Sinaa, these are my older siblings, High King Peter and Queen Susan."

"It is a pleasure to meet your Majesties." Said the polite Fruit.

Peter and Susan simply gaped.

Simultaneously they both remembered that gaping wasn't particularly polite, and greeted their guest graciously.


The Talking Fruit quickly became fast friends with the Monarchs; although, they haven't been seen since the Telmarines took over. What happened to them is a different tale.

King Peter and Queen Susan apologized most profusely to their younger siblings, Lucy especially. I would like to say that they believed Lucy ever afterward, but alas it's not true. Once more they disbelieved their youngest sister, and looked quite as silly as all the other times. Finally peter, at least, learned to believe her. Aslan has never told us if Susan did, and Edmund had begun believing her a while before this story was penned. I, your humble narrator, take your leave, and hope that you, my reader, shall remember to listen to children who can see a bit more than most. Especially if they have never told a lie.