Hello, me again! Taken me a stupidly long time to put up this chapter, sorry. I wrote the first draft ages ago in a note book during the summer, yet have only just got round to writing it, because I was never sure if I should upload it…

The sun was starting to rise over the as they arrived at Penrith hospital. Pushing through the ED doors Sacha walked up to the Main desk, Jac leaning exhausted on his shoulder. After catching the attention of the receptionist, Sacha grinned "Hello, my names Sacha Levy, and this is Jac Naylor." He motioned to Jac's body hanging limply off his arm "We're here to see Joseph Byrne and Posy Byrne-Naylor"

"Well…" The Receptionist scrolled through his computer "Mr Byrne's in resus at the moment, and Miss Byrne-Naylor is down in paediatrics along with a Mr Byrne."

"Mr Byrne?"

"Harry…" Jac murmured softly "they said he'd taken some too…"

"It's ok; it's all going to be ok…" Sacha draw Jac a little closer into him "can you show us Mr Byrne please?"

" Of course" the receptionist smiled sombrely leading them to where Joseph lay lying in a slim bed.

"Hello" A cheerful woman appeared behind Jac and Sacha "You must be Miss Naylor I presume" and without waiting for a reply she outstretched her hand "I'm Ms Flenningham, Mr Byrne's consultant, I've been monitoring his progress."

"How is he?" Jac asked, speaking to Ms Flenningham but staring continually at Joseph's limp body. "Joseph… Joseph, it's me, Jac, oh god, Joes I'm so sorry…" She placed her hand on his and looked up at the consultant "Please save him, please, I can't live without him…"

"Ms Naylor it's not looking goof, these next few hours will be critical."

"I'm so sorry Joe… I'm so sorry…"

"Ms Naylor, would you like me to take you down to paediatrics?"

"Yes…" Jac scrunched up her eyes and biting her lip turns to Sacha "Sacha, go and get some rest, I'll go and see Posy."

Leading Jac down to paediatrics a consultant filled her in on Posy's condition. "She's experienced a light overdose her symptoms were severe, however we now have them under control."

Jac nodded "But she will be ok, won't she? She didn't experience any brain difficulties?"#

"No" the consultant touched Jac's shoulder "no, she'll be ok."

"I didn't mean to leave her… I really didn't. I thought she'd be ok, I thought he'd keep her safe… I thought he'd keep her safe…" She repeated softly as she was led to where Posy lay.

"Posy" Jac rushed forward

"Miss Naylor?" a tall blonde caught Jac's arm "I'm Inspector Lily Jerry. I'm dealing with this case."

"Case?"

"Yes, you have to understand this is protocol. We have to make sure we're not dealing with a case of child neglect."

"Child neglect?" Jac's eyes widened in fear "you have to understand, this wasn't my fault!" Jac pleaded, suddenly her leg gave way and she stumbled, falling down onto the clean lino.

"Ms Naylor?" the inspector leant down next to her "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine" Jac snapped her face twisted in pain "I just need a chair"

"A chair?"

"Yes. A wheelchair, this is a hospital I presume you had an acquaintance with one?" The inspector nodded beckoning a nurse towards her.

Once outside the nurse parked Jac next to a bench. As Jac sat in the chair she let the cool breeze brush past her, as she thought of everything, of everyone, of all her mistakes. She needed Posy, she needed Joseph, needed them both. "Naylor?" Jac was shaken from her thoughts by Michael's voice. "Naylor?" Michael shouted again, running towards her "what are you doing out here? Why are you in a wheelchair? Where are your crutches?" Michael's questions whirled around Jac's head; until all she could do was clench her eyes shut and wait for him to cease talking.

Then she spoke, her words slowly forming in the air "I fell. I left the crutches back at yours. I forgot."

"You fell?" Suddenly both Sacha and Michael were at her side "Where? How? Are you ok?"

Jac nodded "In paediatrics, my leg gave way."

"We need to get you checked out."

"I'm fine. I just couldn't stand any longer.

" "Did you hit your head?" Michael began fussing, firing questions at Jac " "How does it feel?"

"What?"

"Your head… everything."

"Umm…"

"Naylor, I need an answer."

"A little sore"

"Concussed? What about your arm? Your leg?" Michael's voice rose as he fired more questions at her, calming only once Sacha placed his hand on his arm "Michael, let her be. You need to be checked out Jac but we'll take you to the ED."

"No, Sacha, Michael, I'll be fine. I'll sleep it off. Just take me to the relatives' room and I'll get some rest. Please" She begged catching them returning equally concerned glances.

"Ok." Michael answered "but once we're back in Holby you're coming in and getting checked out." Michael told her and began wheeling her to the relatives' room.

"So how was Posy?" Michael asked manoeuvring her into a spare place in the room.

"Stable." Jac looked towards him "They've got the police involved, they think it was an issue of child neglect."

"Oh Jac…" Sacha placed his hand on her shoulder, comforting her. "How was Harry?" he asked, trying to take her mind off the day's events.

"I didn't get to see him… I didn't even get to spend time with Posy. I need to go back. Michael, Sacha take me back." She demanded her eyes wide with panic.

"Naylor, you listen to me and you listen hard. You're going to stay here and get some rest; it's been a traumatic day. Sacha and I will find out more about Joseph, Posy and Harry." Jac opened her mouth to disagree but Michael stopped her, and with that left with Sacha in tow.

Once she was alone Jac stared at her surroundings. She never been in a relatives' room before, expect to break the bad news. This room practically reeked of salty tears and grief.

Opposite her sat a woman with a young child on her lap, and an older child leaning sleepily on her shoulder. "When will daddy be out mummy?" The younger child asked "He'll be ok, won't he?"

The woman nodded in response her eyes sporting dark circles and her face worn with grief and anxiety. "Just remember darling, he loves you, daddy loves you."

Jac's eyes swivelled away from the family, dropping on young couple who looked up expectantly as the door opened. "Mr and Mrs Close?" A trainee doctor asked. The couple nodded in return. "I'm so sorry…" the doctor began. Jac closed her eyes and tried to block out the bad news she could hear being told. Forcing herself to sleep she dreamt only of a recurring dream she used to have when she was little.

It was in her care home. Her birthday and she was all alone. No presents, no friends, no family, when suddenly the door at the far end swung open, revealing her mother. She was calling "My daughter, my daughter, I want my daughter! There's been a mistake; I didn't mean to leave her!" Seeing her mother Jac stood up and began running towards her "Mum, mummy, I'm here, it's me!" Seeing the pounding Jac Paula just stared. "She'd not my daughter, that's my daughter!" She beamed pointing to a girl, who had just appeared at the end of the room. However suddenly something changed, this time Paula turned round "Jac, Jac, JAC" Jac found herself being shaken awake by Michael.

"It's Joseph."

"Why? What's happened to him?" Jac looked up to see the pain in Michael's eyes. "Michael, MICHAEL! What's happened to Joseph?" Jac started scream hysterically.

"Ms Naylor, calm down." Ms Flenningham spoke softly from Michael's side. "I'm so sorry Ms Naylor, Joseph suffered a cardiac arrest ten minutes ago. A cardiac arrest is when…"

"I KNOW WHAT A CARDIAC ARREST IS!" Jac interrupted her hysterically "I'm a bloody cardiac consultant. Why are you telling me this? People can survive cardiac arrests. I know they can. They can can't they?" Jac asked her eyes welling with tears "TELL ME THEY CAN!"

"Ms Naylor, I'm sorry, Mr Byrne didn't make it, his heart was too weak."

"No, no, no, no please, please no!" She began crying loudly, disrupting her silence to the relatives' room. "

"Our team did the best they could, Mr Byrne was very weak."

"No, why Joseph… why not me" Jac covered her head with her hand aware of the disturbance she was causing. "Take me to him, please, I need to see him."

"Ms Naylor, his body's in resus, if you would like to see him before we take him to the morgue?" Jac nodded.

As Ms Flenningham took Jac to where Joseph lay she said soothingly to Jac "Mr Byrne's mother will be here shortly. Would you like to be here when she comes?"

Jac shock her head in response "She'll kill me. She'll blame me, because it's my fault." Realisation hit Jac "He's dead, the love of my life is dead, and it's all my fault."

"Ms Naylor" Ms Flenningham reminded her "his is no-one's fault, I'm sure his mother will understand."

"She won't, because oh…" Jac stopped short facing Joseph's body. "Joe? It's me Joes, Jac." She spoke softly as she lowered herself onto the bed "I'm so sorry Joseph. I'm so sorry for everything. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry for everything I've done Joe, all the pain I've brought you. Please wake up. Please, Joe, don't do this to me." Jac curled her body up on the bed next to his. Her legs tucked into her stomach and her arms around Joseph, and then she wept.

I'm sorry guys! I felt awful killing him off, but it had to be done, and plus I'm better at writing sad stuff! Please review, every little one means so much! xxx