Kuroshitsuji – Naruto Style

By Sakura (aka L-sama no Miko)

Just a bit of a warning here folks, there is going to be a bit of OOCness for most of the cast here so please don't yell at me for not getting their characters right – though I will try my best to stick to their original personalities as much as I can.

Feathers of purest white continued to fall around him, illuminating the darkness with an eerie glow as the twelve year old hung suspended in mid-air. A cloth of blood red was draped over his naked form, barely hiding the expanse of milky white skin which was covered in cuts and bruises of various shades of red, black, blue, purple and sickly yellow.

"Think hard now," a cool, breathy voice spoke from deep in the darkness, "for once you've done this, you will never be able to reach heaven for the rest of eternity."

"Hn," the boy snorted, "Do you really think someone concerned about such things would call upon a creature like you?"

There was a sardonic chuckle before the voice spoke again. "I'll ask you one more time; do you wish to form a pact with me?"

"Ch. What do you think?" the boy said, getting rather impatient. "I called you here didn't I? So do we have a deal or not?"

The voice went silent for several moments as if considering the child's demand. Suddenly, the feathers began to violently swirl about the eleven year old, completely blocking him from view. Gradually, the snowy white plumes turned from purest white to deepest black.

Three Years Later…

"Time to get up, bocchan," the red headed butler announced, drawing back the curtains and deftly tying the heavy blue silk back. The raven haired boy stirred as the early morning sunlight streamed through the delicate window sheers. The master of the Uchiha mansion let out a muffled grumble as he rubbed his still sleep hazed eyes. He said nothing as the man dressed in a deep red – almost black – tailcoat and trousers began removing the boy's pajamas.

"I have prepared toast and scones along with today's breakfast," the butler continued as he expertly poured the boy's morning tea. "Which would you prefer?"

"Toast," his master replied, the black sheet with his clan's crest sliding down to his waist as the young lord sat up. He frowned at the smiling redhead. The man seemed to take great pains to get on his nerves every chance he got. His butler knew he hated anything sweet, yet still he made a sweet dish with every meal. "What is the schedule for today?"

"You have a meeting with Mr. Nara, the expert on the Sunan Empire," the redhead began as he pulled the boy's shirt over his head and gingerly guided his arms through the sleeves before fastening the cuff buttons. "Then later this evening Mr. Kakuzu will be paying you a visit."

"Hmm… isn't that the person in charge of the stuffed toys at the clan's factory in Ame?" the brunet queried as his butler tied the eye patch around his head, making sure it was completely covering the boy's right eye, but not too loose or too tight.

"Yes. I have heard he is rather a ruthless man when it comes to money. However, we will offer him the best hospitality we are able."

"Oolong?" the young master asked, lifting the china cup to his lips.

"Yes, bocchan. It was imported from Tea Country this morning. I will see you in t he dining room sir." The butler gave his employer a bow and headed for the bedroom door.

The young Uchiha lord scowled and quickly grabbed a kunai from a set he kept by the bed. While the redheaded man started reaching for the doorknob, the fourteen year old launched the throwing weapon at his servant, aiming for the butler's head.

The red headed man didn't even flinch when he heard the kunai whoosh toward him. Instead he waited to the last possible second before neatly catching it between two white gloved fingers. "Not a bad throw, bocchan," he said nonchalantly, "But I'm afraid the games will have to wait for later," he added with a smirk.

'Tch. Whatever, Gaara." The butler made no reply; instead he continued to smirk at the boy's attempt on his life and calmly strode through the door.

A kunai went sailing through the air and landed squarely on the back of the shaggy haired gardener's head. The teen let out a startled yelp of pain as the weapon bounced off his thick skull and landed on the plush carpet with a dull thud. "Hey!" he shouted, "Why'd ya do that for Master Sasuke?"

"I don't have to explain to the likes of you," the bratty Uchiha huffed as he continued to eat his breakfast.

Before the gardener could further protest his master's unfair and uncalled for actions, the dining room door burst open to reveal a rather annoyed redhead.

"So this is where you've been," Gaara stated, "I assume you've finished weeding the garden, Kiba." The gardener gave a rather sheepish look. "Hinata, has all the bedding been cleaned?"

The unusually shy and meek maid who'd been currently been hanging around in the dining room as well let out a frightened squeak at her superior's question. "W-W-Well y-you see," she stammered, touching her index fingers together.

Gaara chose to ignore her for the moment to focus on the tall blond standing next to her. "Deidara, I thought I told you to start preparing for dinner." The cook gave a nervous chuckle. "Asuma," the butler started, glancing at the former Uchiha steward as he sat calmly smoking a cigarette, while making sure none of the smoke blew anywhere near their master. "You can stay as you are." The older gentleman gave a grateful nod before taking another puff. "As for you three," Gaara said, giving the other servants his full attention now. His teal eyes narrowed dangerously as he continued to glare at them. "There's no time for you to be goofing off. Now get to work!"

The air suddenly felt heavy and the three of them began to scatter about like chickens with their heads cut off. None of them wanted to face their superior's ire. There was just something about the butler that screamed, 'mess with me and you'll wish for death when I'm through with you.'

"Ch. Baka," muttered the redhead.

Gaara smiled as he surveyed his handiwork. He allowed a rush of pride to wash over him as he glanced at the thoroughly polished silverware, the spotless and crease free linen tablecloth, the immaculately arranged flower arrangement that included snow white lilies – the young master's favorites, and the choicest ingredients for the evening meal.

"This shall indeed be a meal worthy of the Uchiha name," he said extremely proud of his achievements. Just as he was about to start on the menu for tonight, a little bell marked 'study' rang through the kitchen.

The redheaded butler let out an exasperated huff as he pulled his dark red tailcoat back on. "He knows how much I still have to do, yet he still calls me," Gaara grumbled to himself as he strode down the hall and toward the upper floors.

Unbeknownst to the redheaded butler, the three morons – better known as Deidara, Hinata, and Kiba had been spying on their superior. "Hah! I knew it, un!" the overly cheerful cook piped. "We've got a guest comin', un! Now's our chance!"

"What the hell do ya mean?" Kiba asked.

"Well," answered the taller man, "You know how Gaara's always scolding us, un? Well, why don't we show 'im just how good we really are so he'll never yell at us again, un! That'll really blast his socks off, un!"

"T-That's a w-wonderful idea," Hinata beamed.

"Yeah! It's not like we have to rely on Gaara to do everything. I mean, we're not completely useless, right?" added the gardener.

"That's the spirit un!"

"Gaara, I'm a bit hungry," Sasuke announced as the butler entered the upstairs study. "Bring me a snack."

"You'll only ruin your appetite bocchan."

"Who cares? Do as I tell you."

"I must apologize, my lord," the redhead said calmly, though he was seething inside at his master's perpetually bratty behavior.

"Tch. Fine," the fourteen year old spat flippantly. "About that hideous portrait at the landing, I want it removed. I am Sasuke Uchiha, son of Mikoto and Fugaku. I am master of the clan now."

"It shall be done, my lord," Gaara said bowing to the boy.

"Now," the red haired man queried, his eyes narrowing dangerously yet again, "Would you three fools kindly explain just how the garden got utterly destroyed, the best china smashed to smithereens, and today's dinner transformed into inedible charcoal?"

"I kinda forgot the sprayer lid was busted so the extra strength weed killer leaked everywhere."

"I-I-I w-w-w-was t-t-trying to r-reach the tea set w-w-we use f-f-for guests and t-the c-c-cabinet f-fell," the poor maid stammered.

"Well, ya see," explained Deidara, "That was a lot of meat, un. So I figured I'd speed things up if I used my special explosives to make it cook faster, un."

"Please forgive us, Gaara-dono!" the servants pleaded in unison as they began groveling on the kitchen floor. "We didn't mean for things to get ruined like that!"

'Great', the butler fumed silently, 'Kakuzu-san is due to arrive at six, which is two hours away. Not enough time to correct those idiots' mistakes. Just once, I'd like for bocchan to order me to deal with them properly.

"Will you calm down?" Gaara commanded. The sniveling servants immediately snapped to attention. "Why can't you all follow Asuma-san's example for…" The redhead stopped abruptly an idea forming in his mind. "Now listen up you three. You have to do as I say to the letter and it must be done as quickly as possible. There is still a chance to redeem your worthless selves as well as the master's reputation."

Two hours later…

"I must say I am impressed," Kakuzu said, admiring the Japanese style garden at the front of the Uchiha manor. He'd heard of the Uchiha clan's immense wealth and thus had expected an overly extravagantly planted garden filled to the brim with expensive and frivolous statues and what not.

"A truly elegant, yet simple garden," the factory foreman exclaimed, "I see his lordship does know the value of a ryou after all."

Gaara bristled at the insult to his master, but restrained himself. The money obsessed fool will be dealt with all in good time. "Dinner shall be served out front," the butler said in perfectly veiled annoyance, "Please let me escort you inside. The meal shall be ready shortly.

"Not what I was expecting, but the Uchiha has been a rather unpredictable clan," Kakuzu remarked again, following the shorter man into the manor.

"We're making excellent progress with the Ame factory," the factory foreman said as the boy move the game piece along the multicolored board. "We have a highly capable staff so we should be able to bring in quite a profit."

"Looks like I have the worst luck," Sasuke said, ignoring the man and glancing at the space his piece had stopped on. "I've become charmed by the dead. I've lost a turn."

"As I was saying, your lordship," the man tried again, clearing his throat, "now would be an excellent time to expand the business. Build a strong labor force and…"

"Are you going to move or not?" interrupted the boy.

Kakuzu glared at the fourteen year old brat, but quickly stopped himself from saying anything that might make his meal ticket throw him out. He hastily spun the top then moved his piece. "I think twelve thousand ryou should be enough for this expansion and I assure you, it'll be very profitable for us both."

"You lose a leg in the enchanted forest," Sasuke said, once again ignoring the money hungry man. Kakuzu gave the boy a confused look before remembering the game, so intent on closing the deal was he. "Oh, by the way, it's your turn again. I lost a turn just now remember?"

"Ah, yes of course." Kakuzu once again spun the tope and prepared to move his piece further along the board, "Six spaces, right?"

"Wrong," the raven haired child spoke, "You've lost a leg, so you can only go half the number which means you move three."

"Quite the gruesome game for a child to be playing, don't you think?" the factory foreman said with a bit of a nervous chuckle. "You don't think I could get that leg back?"

"Hmph. I'm afraid not. Once you've lost something, really lost it, one can never get it back." Sasuke then snatched the man's piece from his hand, placing it on the proper colored square. "Burnt by a towering inferno," he said as if such a thing was an everyday occurrence and thus not worth noticing.

"Everything is going well, I trust," Gaara said, entering the kitchen as Deidara began slicing what little meat they had left.

"Yep," chirped the blond, "but are you sure this is what you want us to do, un?"

"Yes, just keep doing as I say and it'll be…"

"G-Gaara-san!" Hinata called as she ran down the hall carrying several heavy looking boxes marked 'fragile'. "F-F-Found them!" True to Hinata fashion, the poor maid tripped in her haste and the boxes went flying in several directions.

Gaara being the superb butler that he was - as well used to such disasters involving their maid - reacted with lightning speed and cat like grace, saving the boxes from crashing to the floor and thus shattering their precious contents. However, as a result, Hinata had crashed right into the redhead's firm chest, causing her to become beet red.

"Really Hinata," said Gaara, sighing, "How many times must I tell you not to run inside the manor house?" The maid however hadn't heard a single word. Hinata had fainted dead away.

Sighing once more, the butler turned to the other servants – also used to the girl's all too common fainting spells. "Now that we have everything we need, I shall be taking over. You two can retire for the rest of the night if you like. But first, see to Hinata before you do. Oh and one more thing, there had better not be anymore slip ups. Not a single one, have you got that?"

Kiba and Deidara both gulped at the man's hard icy teal orbs.

"Dinner is ready, my lord," the redheaded butler announced as he opened the drawing room doors.

"Thank you, Gaara," Sasuke said, rising from his chair. "It looks like we'll have to finish this game later."

"Must we, your lordship," Kakuzu protested, anxious to get on with his business deal. "You can see I'm just going to lose anyway."

"Out of the question," huffed Sasuke. "I don't like not finishing what I start and I'm not about to start doing so because you want to be a coward."

"Little brat," the man spat, causing the boy to whirl his head around. "I-I mean," he started, clearing his throat. "Sometimes you need a child's eye to see what is the most important. Maybe that's what has made Uchiha the most popular name in toy making. I can't say I'm not impressed after all."

The dubious factory foreman continued to brown nose, completely missing the deadly stare of the young lord's butler as they passed by.

"Raw beef and rice?" Kakuzu asked in barely veiled disgust as he stared at the small bowl with painted cherry blossoms. He had been expecting simple fare like a three course meal since the young lord seemed to be less extravagant than his ancestors, but this was ridiculous. Did he really expect his guests to eat a poor man's dish?

"That is donburi, sir," Gaara explained, "It is a traditional dish from the Land of Rice Patties given to someone who has done a great favor. The young master simply wishes to reward you for all your hard work at the factory."

"I see that the famed Uchiha hospitality lives up to its name," Kakuzu remarked, his disgust vanishing rapidly with Gaara's bit of ego stroking.

The dinner went off without any problems except for a tiny bit of clumsiness on Hinata's part. The maid had spilt most of the wine on the pristine tablecloth due to the fact that Gaara had previously pulled her aside to remind her of her duties and causing her to become flustered because of her crush on the rather handsome butler.

The redhead had seen the shocked look on his master's face as the increasing puddle began to resemble a pool of blood and promptly yanked the practically ruined cloth off the table without disturbing a single dish – much to Sasuke's relief.

"Quite an interesting dinner, your lordship," Kakuzu said upon returning to the drawing room. "Now as to the contract, we've been discussing…"

"We'll deal with that later. I want to finish our game," protested Sasuke.

"As much as I'd like to, my lord, I do have a rather pressing engagement.

"You do know we children take our games seriously, don't you?" the Uchiha lord continued, "Surely you wouldn't want this child to get upset do you?"

The money obsessed man bristled slightly, but once again remembered that he needed this brat's money. "Then please allow me to phone my associate to rearrange our appointment."

The raven haired boy nodded and called for Gaara to show the man to the telephone.

"I'm getting tired of playing babysitter," Kakuzu spat irately into the phone, unaware of a certain eavesdropping redheaded butler. "You know I can't stand these spoiled rug rats. Look, I don't care; the factory's already been taken care of. I just have to bilk this kid of the rest of the dough. To hell with the workers! They'll just have to find jobs elsewhere. You just worry about the formalities. I'll deal with the brat, Hidan."

The factory foreman then hung up the phone and began making his way back to the drawing room, stopping only to glance at the portrait of the boy's deceased parents. He quickly rubbed his eyes when the eyes of Fugaku Uchiha seemed to move and glower at him, the boy's former words coming to mind. 'I've become charmed by the dead'

"Tch. Rubbish!" he spat, resuming his journey up the stairs.

However, the Uchiha mansion seemed to have been built like a maze and Kakuzu was having trouble remembering the way back to the drawing room and the factory foreman was becoming more and more irate, thus causing him to be less aware of what was going on around him. While Kakuzu was muttering to himself, a white faced, black clad figure began to appear in front of him – the figure of Fugaku Uchiha.

Startled greatly, the money obsessed man let out a gasp and turned tail, running back the way he had just come.

"Hey, wasn't that our guest just now?" Kiba said lugging the family portrait across the intersecting hallways.

"Oi!" called Diedara from the other end of the painting, "This thing ain't exactly light you know, un!"

"Oops, sorry!" the shaggy haired gardener called back and continued to lug the large and heavy portrait.

Meanwhile, Kakuzu continued to run and tripped over the bucket Hinata had dropped and causing him to fall down the double staircase in the front hall. After he finally stopped on the lowest part of the stairs, the man's leg had been bent in an unnatural way, thus making it completely useless.

Poor Hinata began panicking, not sure as to what to do about such a serious injury. The gardener and chef came by, still carrying the portrait which caused Kakuzu to freak out even more since the extreme pain from his broken leg had begun to cause him to hallucinate.

Sasuke's voice seemed to be coming from Fugaku's picture as it spoke to him, "You lose a leg in the enchanted forest."

Kakuzu let out a terrified scream and attempted to crawl away, desperate to escape.

"Leaving so soon?" Gaara asked in mock disappointment. "We haven't even begun to extend the full Uchiha hospitality. You must stay for dessert, sir, I simply must insist." The wounded factory foreman began to scramble away from the frightening butler, completely unnerved by the man's black and gold eyes. "It seems you've lost a leg," Gaara remarked, smirking evilly, pleased that he was finally going to have a bit of fun with the money obsessed man. "That means you can only move half the number of spaces" the butler added, calmly striding after the whimpering man, "So why just stay for a bit and relax, hm?"

Kakuzu somehow managed to get away from the seemingly demonic butler and found a small cupboard to hide in. He gasped and shuddered when he heard the redhead's footsteps approaching.

Suddenly the cupboard he'd been hiding in began to give off an orange glow, the temperature starting to steadily rise. A slit in the door that the factory foreman hadn't noticed in his rush slid open, a pair of jet black eyes with golden diamond shaped pupils appeared.

"My, my, aren't we the impatient one," Gaara said, barely containing his amusement. "Just couldn't wait for dessert to leave the oven."

"O-Oven?" the money obsessed man sputtered now truly fearing for his life. This was no pain induced hallucination. "Let me out! I beg you! I'll give you all the money you want!"

"You know," the red haired man said, ignoring Kakuzu's desperate cries and pleas, "There are many desserts in Fire Country that have meat as an ingredient. Mince pie, plumb pudding for instance. All quite delicious I assure you."

The last thing going through Kakuzu's mind the last words Sasuke had said to him before dinner. 'Burned by an towering inferno.' The irony of his current situation hadn't been lost on him as the factory foreman let out scream after scream as he was cooked alive.

"What an amusing scream," the fourteen year old lord said to himself, Kakuzu's screams being loud enough to echo through the manor. Sasuke glanced at his never to be finished game. "He sounds just like a lamb being led to the slaughterhouse. What nerve. First he sells the Ame factory without getting my approval then he has the gall to come over here and ask for more money. Did he really think I'd be so stupid as to trust the likes of him?"

He glared at the final square on the game board as he moved a piece to the picture of a happily smiling family in a carriage in front of their enormous mansion. "Once truly lost, you can never get it back," he said to no one in particular, knocking the game piece over in disgust.

~TBC~

Sakura: Well, it had to happen eventually minna, I've been seduced by that 'one hell of a butler'!

Grell: You can't have him you hussy! Sebas-chan's mine! (whips out deathscythe)

Itachi: Kindly remove that ridiculous thing from her face unless you want to know eternal suffering.

Grell: Oh my! Such a deliciously dangerous man! Make me suffer you gorgeous hunk you!

Will: There'll be none of that Grell Sutcliff. Now come along, you've got work to do.

Grell: B-But William!

Sebastian: Honestly. Such a vulgar creature.

Sakura: Don't worry Sebas-chan. That freak of a shinigami's gone. Here pet the kitty.

Sebastian: So soft!

Sakura: As I was saying minna, I've been bitten by the BB bug, hence this monstrosity. I hope I didn't mangle things too much so please do be kind with the reviews everyone.