This fic is being written because Queen Of The Pens and I, Coqui's Song, are tired of seeing Mary Sue after Mary Sue in the Warriors fandom. This fic is part humor/for the amusement of writing it and partly to give advice to authors who need help.

A Warriors Guide to Not Making Mary-Sues

Authors:

Coqui's Song and Queen Of The Pens

Chapter One: Names

The heavy, dark rain clouds covered the sky completely. There was a brief blue flash of lightning, instantly followed by a loud crash of thunder. A queen yowled into the night, her shrieks of agony drowning out the thunder, making a golden tom's ears twitch as he cringed away from the sound of his mate's cries.

Anxiously he paced outside of the nursery, not caring that the raindrops were pelting him, soaking him. The tom stopped as the Clan's medicine cat poked her head out, gazing at him with serious blue eyes and shook her head, looking sympathetic.

No. It isn't possible! The tom thought in panic, trying to convince himself that his mate would be fine.

"I must see the kits," he meowed, feeling broken.

"There is only one," the medicine cat told him. "Her littermates all died."

The tom only gave a short, brisk nod as he brushed past the medicine cat, into the nursery. As he padded closer, he saw his mate, curled protectively around the kit that hadn't died.

"My love," whispered his mate, her voice terribly weak, "I have little life left. But our daughter –she has so much left. Let her be named Starkit, please, so you may always remember that StarClan has not and never will leave us, even on the stormiest nights."

"Starkit it shall be then," he agreed, choking on his words. "I love you, Spottedpath."

"And I you," she replied feebly. "Take care of our Starkit."

Spottedpath sighed, closed her eyes, and went limp.

The tom shakily turned to Starkit. She was so tiny, so beautiful. Her pretty silver tabby pelt seemed to shimmer in the dim light of the nursery as lightning crackled outside. He had to protect his daughter now. He owed it to Spottedpath.

"I can take her," meowed another she-cat, Dappledleaf. Dappledleaf was a young queen, a warrior for only two moons before giving birth to her first litter a half-moon ago. She was kind and gentle, and would make a wonderful mother for Starkit.

"Thank you," he murmured, and turned away as Dappledlead placed Starkit gently next to her warm belly. Starkit mewed and began to suckle.

The tom grabbed Spottedpath's scruff and pulled her body out into the clearing of ThunderClan's camp. He set her down to look as if she were only sleeping, and lay next to her, pushing his muzzle into her dampened fur, inhaling her sweet scent for the last time.

Ω Ω Ω

Welcome, readers, to A Warriors Guide to Not Making Mary-Sues. You have just read an excerpt of a Mary-Sue, Starmoon's, life. She is, of course, an OC of mine and Queen's. She is for an example of how not to write a character. She'll appear each chapter.

Now, for this chapter, we're going to talk names. Names are critical in order to tell whether or not your character is a Sue. Names don't always make a Sue (there is a non-Sue named Newleaf XD I should stop bragging about my skills. Don't worry; not gonna do it again), but they are fairly important. Important Sue names are those with prefixes such as (note- these are for warriors, not rogues, loners, Tribe cats, or BloodClan cats):

Star- this one is rather obvious; warrior cats believe in StarClan, so this is a bit like naming your child God. (The God comment brought to you by Queen. I'm afraid I wasn't clever enough to come up with it. I might be amusing later, we'll see.) Anyway, Do NOT use it at ALL.

Moon- this is a bit like Star, but not to the same level. Warrior cats think of the moon as a sacred thing; why else would they name the places where they commune with StarClan the Moonstone or the Moonpool? Why else is a clouded full moon on a Gathering night so bad? This name is not recommended, but some clever authors can pull it off without making the character a Sue.

Destiny, Hope, Love, Life, and any other names that make me and Queen want to barf- just no. I don't think it's possible to pull off.

Silver- this is a bit iffy. If you have a warrior named Silver, you must try to make her into a flawed, healthy character that readers identify with. With work, it's possible to take it out of Mary-Sue territory.

The Sparkle Group:

Beware these names in the sparkle group; they are definitely and completely Mary-Sues. They include:

Gems- Anything with prefixes like Emerald, Ruby, Diamond, and any other jewel is a Mary Sue name. Warriors don't know what jewels are; Erin only uses the word "emerald" to describe the shade of green a cat's eyes are.

Sparkling, Shimmer, Shine, Glimmer, and Shining- (Oh, my goodness, I think I just barfed a rainbow at these Sue names) Never mind my reaction to them. These names are irredeemable. "Shining" is one that authors often give a cat who will become leader, to be known as "Shiningstar". With a name like any of these, it is impossible for authors to stray out of Mary Sue territory.

Suffixes- are less troublesome than the prefixes of a warrior name. Many prefixes, however, can be used as suffixes as well. Don't use anything with glimmer, shine, shimmer, cresent, spark, or any other strange name like these.

All in all, if you can't think of a name for a warrior cat other than these, use the name generators they have on the internet. Know how I recommended doing a Create-a-Cat before I revised this chaper? I realized most Mary Sue names come from them, so they don't work. Just use the name generators or be more imaginative (or unimaginative; however way you want to put it).

This chapter's non-Mary-Sue-story recommendation (stories that Queen or I have read and we approve of them not being Mary Sues. If you've read a really good one without a Mary Sue, feel free to tell us): Pawn of the Stars by PurpleVNeck.

Comments on the above story: Best. Warriors. Fic. Ever.

The next chapter might take awhile, because Queen Of The Pens is writing it, and she's on vacation for a week. XD We'd love some reviews, by the way. :)

~Coqui's Song and Queen Of The Pens