So I actually wrote the threesome.
It only took me a day, which shows you how common place it is for me to write threesomes nowadays.
This is what my life is now.
I'm not even sorry.

Anyway, chuck some reviews at me.

And clearly - clearly - don't own Glee. That would be wrong.

One Too Many – Part Two and a Half

The party was winding down slightly now that it was approaching 1am. As Finn, who was usually the designated driver, had already passed out drunk, the rest of the Glee Club decided to just stay at Rachel's house. They would make their excuses to their parents tomorrow.

The music was still playing, only much quieter and slower now. Quinn was one of the few people still dancing. She swayed in a circle up on the stage by herself, her arms above her head, looking happier than ever. Tina, Mike, Sam and Mercedes were all sitting on the couch, lazily laughing as Artie made jokes. Santana and Brittany had disappeared up stairs a while ago, Rachel and Jesse following them out of the basement a short time after. Finn was still out cold, his face covered in swear words and drawings of penises that Puck, Sam and Artie had done earlier – they'd almost injured themselves laughing. Kurt and Blaine were slow dancing in the middle of the room, kissing and holding each other close. Puck watched them from his seat next to Lauren, trying to make up his mind about her offer. Finally, he finished his drink and made his decision.

"I'll do it," he said to Lauren quietly. "But only as long as I get to do stuff with you afterwards."

Lauren smirked triumphantly, before standing up offering him her hand. He took it and let her pull him unsteadily to his feet, and they both walked over to Kurt and Blaine.

"Boys," she said. "It's on."

Kurt and Blaine stopped kissing and looked at her with smiles on their faces. Blaine looked as if all his Christmases had come at once, and was practically bouncing with excitement.

"Well that doesn't surprise me at all," Kurt said, smirking smugly. "I always knew you wouldn't be able to resist us, Noah."

Puck frowned and rolled his eyes. "Whatever, let's just get this over and done with before I change my mind."

They all made their way upstairs, Blaine still bouncing excitedly, like a hyperactive toddler on the way to Disney Land. The only room that wasn't occupied was the tiny guest room, so they all piled in.

"You guys just ignore me," said Lauren. "I'm not even here."

She sat down on the cosy armchair in the corner of the room and didn't say another word. Blaine threw himself on the bed happily, and Kurt took hold of both of Puck's hands and pulled him closer.

"Relax, Noah," he said huskily. "We're not going to hurt you."

"Unless you want us too, we're very open-minded," Blaine giggled.

Puck blushed quite furiously, before Kurt pulled him into a hard kiss. He'd forgotten how awesome a kisser Kurt was, and soon he relaxed and started kissing him back, their tongues battling as Kurt moaned into his mouth. Blaine watched with a smile on his face as Kurt pushed Puck onto the bed and straddled him, their kiss never breaking. Finally they separated, Puck feeling a little dazed from all the intense making out, and Kurt took off his waistcoat and quickly unbuttoned his shirt.

"Damn, Hummel," Puck said as Kurt took his shirt off and threw it behind him. "I never expected you to be so... buff."

Kurt smirked. "It's from all that cheerleading last year."

"I still can't get over that Kurt was a cheerleader," Blaine giggled beside them. "The only why this could be any more perfect is if that smoking hot Cheerios uniform was involved too."

"If I knew we were finally going to get Noah to have a threesome with us I would have brought it," Kurt said simply, as Puck chuckled. "Anyway, you boys are wearing far too many clothes, so..."

He quickly pulled Puck's shirt over his head and threw it aside, as Blaine took his own shirt off beside them and almost fell off the bed in the process. Puck was pushed into the middle of the bed just after they all kicked their shoes off, and Blaine was suddenly attached to his mouth, kissing him like his life depended on it and moaning desperately. Kurt suddenly got off the bed and rushed out of the room, calling "Be right back!" over his shoulder. But Blaine didn't stop kissing Puck, and Puck was actually allowing himself to enjoy it this time. It wasn't so terrible making out with Blaine, on the bed and shirtless. In fact it actually felt really good. It didn't even freak him out when he felt the bulge in the front of Blaine's jeans pressing against his thigh, although it helped to know that Lauren was silently watching every second. They didn't stop kissing until Kurt came back into the room.

"I was just looking for some condoms and lube," Kurt said casually, crawling back on the bed. "Unsurprisingly there were loads in Rachel's Dads' room – although Brittany and Santana weren't pleased about me interrupted them."

He put the condoms and the bottle of lube on the bedside table, and moved over to Puck and Blaine.

"Okay, Noah," he said deviously. "Let's see what Blaine and I are working with."

He got to work unbuckling Puck's belt, unzipping his jeans and pulling them off. Blaine gasped and Kurt grinned. Puck was going commando and his long, thick cock was already half hard.

"I'm guessing you guys like what you see," he said with an arched eyebrow.

"You guessed correctly, Noah," Kurt purred.

Blaine nodded beside him, unable to think of anything to say, before Kurt smirked and suddenly lowered his head, taking as much of Puck's cock in his mouth as possibly.

"Holy shit!" Puck gasped, throwing his head back and grabbing the bed sheets.

Kurt chuckled around his length and sucked harder, bobbing his head up and down and swirling his tongue. Puck could barely breathe. He couldn't remember ever experiencing such an epic blowjob before, and he had a lot to compare Kurt to. His tangled his fingers in Kurt's hair, thrusting into his mouth, and Kurt didn't even gag. He relaxed his throat and encouraged Puck to really fuck his mouth. Blaine sat beside them, watching breathlessly, his own erection pressing uncomfortably against his pants. He noticed Puck beckoning him closer, and soon they were making out all over again, all tongues and teeth and desperation, both of them moaning louder and louder. And then, quite abruptly, Kurt stopped and sat up.

"W-why'd you stop?" Puck stuttered, Blaine still kissing his neck.

"One of you guys needs to fuck me right now before I actually die," he said simply, taking off his jeans and underwear and grabbing the condoms and lube.

Blaine sat up excitedly and quickly took his jeans and boxers off too. He snatched the bottle of lube out of Kurt hand, covered his fingers in the cool liquid and spread Kurt's legs, pushing two wet fingers into his boyfriend's opening. Kurt cried out, throwing his head back as Blaine fucked him with his fingers, not even bothering to be gentle as he knew Kurt loved it rough. He added a third finger and scissored them, pushing them in and out faster and faster, before removing them completely, much to Kurt's disappointment.

"So how are we doing this?" he asked, wiping his wet fingers on the sheets.

Puck shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Oh, I know," Kurt said, sitting up and brushing his sweaty hair out of his face. "I'll suck you off, Blaine, while Noah takes me from behind. That way you get all the fun of an excellent blowjob from me and you get to watch me getting fucked by someone else. Perfect. That okay with you, Puckerman?"

"I... I guess," he said nervously.

"Excellent," Blaine said excitedly.

He sat in the middle of the bed with his back against the headboard, and Kurt crawled on his hands and knees between his legs and gave his hard, leaking cock a slow lick from base to tip. Then he turned to Puck and pulled him closer, kissing him quickly on the lips before slipping a condom on him and covering his cock in generous amounts of lube.

"If you're feeling a little awkward," he said softly. "Just imagine you're fucking a girl. Just imagine everything you wish you could do to Lauren, and do it me."

Puck nodded, and Kurt went back between Blaine's legs on his hands and knees. Puck positioned himself behind Kurt, held onto his hips and very, very slowly pushed his cock into Kurt's ass, not stopping until he was balls-deep inside him.

"Oh my God..." he groaned. "You are so fucking tight..."

Kurt chuckled, before taking all of Blaine's cock in his mouth, bobbing his head and swirling his tongue. He moaned loudly around his boyfriend's length once Puck started to move, thrusting into him slowly. Kurt took Blaine's cock out of his mouth, still stroking him quickly.

"Faster, Noah," he ordered, his voice sounding deep and growly. "Fuck me. Fuck it like a pussy, Noah!"

Puck did as he was told, holding Kurt's hips tightly and fucking him hard and fast, loving how that tight ass squeezed him so incredibly. Kurt cried out, taking Blaine's cock in his mouth again and sucking him as he moaned louder and louder around his length. Blaine held onto his boyfriend's hair, thrusting into his mouth and moaning, as he watched Puck pounding into Kurt's ass and swearing under his breath. He'd never seen anything so hot. Kurt pushed back against Puck, practically screaming around Blaine's cock as Puck managed to hit that sweet spot inside him with every hard thrust.

They'd soon worked out a kind of erratic, messy rhythm, everything a blur of moaning and grunting and swearing, the air musty with sweat and sex. Blaine was the first time climax, coming hard down Kurt throat as he cried out. Watching Puck and his boyfriend was all just too much for him. Kurt swallowed around him, before screaming and moaning so loud that the whole house could hear as Puck fucked him senseless. Blaine moved out of the way so he could watch every second, trying to catch his breath. Kurt could hardly hold himself up as Puck held tightly onto his hips and fucked him so hard he could barely stand it. Finally he screamed, coming hard all over the bed sheets, and Puck's own orgasm crashed over him only seconds later, so hard he felt like he was going to black out. They both collapsed in a sweaty heap, and Blaine climbed on them and covered them both in kisses.

"It is... it is a fucking shame... that you... are straight, Noah... wow..." Kurt gasped, Blaine giggling on top of him.

Kurt was only vaguely aware of a very breathless and red faced Lauren giving them a round of applause in the corner, and her and Puck disappearing together to find some privacy. He and Blaine got under the covers and almost immediately passed out with smiles on their faces.

The next morning consisted of monster hangovers, lots of coffee and Rachel forcing everyone to help clean up the house. Finn had locked himself in the bathroom, trying to scrub the swear words off his face. Santana was in the downstairs bathroom, throwing up into the toilet while Brittany held her hair back. Kurt and Blaine very slowly made their way downstairs, yesterdays clothes all crumpled and creased as they'd been on the floor. When they got into the kitchen they found Mercedes, Quinn and Artie slumped on the table, half awake, and Puck leaning against the counter with a large mug of coffee. When the three guys saw each other they all turned quite a violent shade of red and looked at the floor.

"I don't, erm... I don't remember much of... last night," Puck said awkwardly. "But I don't think we should talk about it. Like, ever."

"Agreed," said Kurt, unable to look him in the eye. "Let's just pretend it never happened."
"Yeah," Blaine nodded, feeling uncomfortable. "We were... we were drunk."

"Right," said Puck, sipping his coffee so he wouldn't have to look at them. "Alcohol's fault."

"Totally," Kurt and Blaine said in unison.

"What are y'all talkin' about?" Mercedes grumbled from the table.

"Nothing," the three guys all said seriously.

"Why do you guys look so awkward and guilty?" said Quinn.

"And where did you guys disappear to last night with Lauren?" added Artie.

"Yeah, there were some freaky noises comin' from upstairs last night," Mercedes nodded.

"Right, loads of banging and yelling and stuff," Quinn agreed. "And it didn't start until you guys went upstairs."

"Seriously, what happened?" Artie asked, looked really curiously now.

"Nothing!" the guys said again, all blushing furiously.

"Seriously, guys, just drop it," said Puck. "Nothing happened."

Mercedes, Quinn and Artie didn't say anything, but they obviously weren't convinced and gave each other meaningful looks.

"Well, I should really be getting home," Kurt said, desperate to change the subject. "I'm going to go try and find Finn. Come on, Blaine."

Blaine was happy to let Kurt pull him out of the room, and as they were leaving Kurt whispered "I swear, I am never drinking again. I mean it this time. I am a menace, a slutty menace. I shouldn't be allowed near alcohol."

Blaine frowned. "I'm still allowed though right?"

Kurt just rolled his eyes, dragging his boyfriend upstairs to find Finn so they could leave.

Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.
Reviews me if you fancy it :)

xxx