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Author's Note: There is no excuse for how long I'm taking between chapters. It's absolutely ridiculous, and I admit that. I am still determined to finish the story, it's all here in my head, I just keep getting distracted both by important real-life things and silly trivial stuff I really shouldn't be prioritising over this fic. I just hope you all know that I do love every scrap of feedback I get, and I do still mean to finish this fic eventually.

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Chapter 143: Three Words

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"What's wrong?" Harry asked warily, looking at the way everyone was staring at the elder of the two Jacks.

"When you rewrite your own past..." Oswin began slowly.

"Let's just say Back To The Future is an accurate reference." John Hart clarified.

"And for those of us who haven't seen every Muggle movie ever?" Salazar asked sceptically.

"He's going to fade out." the younger Jack said, slightly awed. "He'll cease to exist."

"Worse than death, according to some." Oswin added.

"Worth it." the elder Jack said simply.

"I hope it was." John said, somewhere between impressed and... genuinely upset, possibly even grieving.

It was at this moment that the elder Jack began to flicker, like a poorly cast illusion spell.

Ianto stepped closer to him now. "You knew this was going to happen when you did it, didn't you?"

Younger Jack nodded. "I could say something really poignant right now, but the stupid Fidelius Charm is stopping me."

His elder self laughed. "Closest I'm ever likely to get, isn't it?"

"Didn't know you wanted it so bad." John muttered darkly.

"I don't." younger Jack said with a frown.

"I do." his elder self said, flickering once again, almost completely disappearing at one point, but not quite yet.

"Look at it this way…" Oswin said gently, "At least we'll remember the changes, and sacrifice, you made. Not everyone who fades out is nearly so lucky."

He chuckled again. "Thanks. That does help."

"What was it Dumbledore once said about death?" Jack's younger self asked.

"Next great adventure." his elder self laughed. "I look forward to it. One more thing before I go." He turned to look at Ianto. "Right before the crystal activates to send us home... John is going to tell the truth again, for only the fourth time in his life."

Ianto frowned at him for this, then looked warily at John.

"You flatter me, Jack." John sniped, "We both know I prefer to lie by omission and sarcasm - I've told the truth far more than three times, so far."

"Right." Jack sniped, smiling all the same. "Point is, those five words will be on the list."

"Five, huh?" John asked sceptically. "I think I know what you're referring to."

Jack just smiled. "I'll see you in hell." he told John, flickering yet again, far more than before.

Ianto turned away, hugging the younger Jack, and refusing to look as the elder of the two finally faded away completely.

With that, deathly silence seemed to settle over them, as it already had over the castle with the announcement of Voldemort's death.

Harry really couldn't decide if this counted as a loss or not - Jack was still standing there, but at the same time he had just worse-than-died. He had chosen that sacrifice, just as Harry had.

Oswin's humming had changed, now. He didn't recognise the tune, but the words that soon followed were oddly comforting.

"The battle's done, and we kinda won, so we sound our victory cheer. Where do we go from here?"

Was it his imagination, or was John Hart trying not to laugh, now?

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Ianto lingered on the front lawn of the school, after the battle. Everyone else had gone inside, for celebration and consolidation. Well everyone else except John Hart, who was Ianto's reason for remaining outside.

Especially as Jack had gone and claimed the spotlight, in order to let Harry get some much-needed rest.

Cautiously, Ianto approached John, who was looking out over the lake as if his mind was very far away. "What five words?"

"Apparently I'm not going to say them for another two days." John informed him obstinately, not bothering to even look at him.

Ianto glowered at him, but didn't retort. "Has it anything to do with those concealment charms you're wearing?"

"Yes." John said, before turning to face him properly, "And I refuse to play twenty-questions - that was the last one I can promise I'm answering honestly."

"You and honesty never seemed to get along anyway." Ianto sniped back.

When it became clear that he wasn't going to get any more out of John on this very frustrating mystery, until the last minute before they left this time, Ianto turned to look out on the lawn itself.

Voldemort's corpse had been unceremoniously dumped atop a pile of other enemy combatants here, who were also very much dead. The surviving Death Eaters were being restrained and transported away by Aurors even as he watched. Meanwhile, the few casualties on their own side had been respectfully laid out in the Great Hall.

It was to this scene that Ianto noticed Mad-Eye Moody arguing with another witch. Her dress sense was strikingly similar to Augusta Longbottom's, except deep purple instead of bottle green, and adorned with blatantly fake flowers on her hat, instead of the iconic stuffed vulture.

"I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don't want to see you every day." she was positively snarling at Moody, who stood his ground somewhat admirably against the formidable woman.

"Look, all I'm asking for is proof you're not a Death Eater." he insisted.

She gave him a very dark look, almost as if she was considering saying something Very Inappropriate, but then instead she shook her head and spoke coldly, "I told you who I was."

"And I don't believe you." Moody retorted, in his best intimidating growl. She was not cowed. If anything that gave Moody pause. "Prove it."

"Yes, and how exactly does an Auror expect an Unspeakable to prove her identity, hmm?"

"You said Death Room? What's in that room, then?"

"A doorway to the Acheron." she answered, almost amused, "Not that you could prove that's where it goes, mind you."

Moody seemed to sulk for a moment, "And what do you want with that lot?"

"Just Voldemort." she said smiling, "Frankly, he's annoying me." Moody's eyebrows raised at this, but she answered before he could ask the obvious question, "Yes, he's dead. That's my job, dealing with the dead. You have no concept of the bureaucracy involved in the afterlife, have you? He's refusing to fill out the relevant paperwork, and don't even get me started on how those blasted Horcruxes affect my paperwork. If you'll just let me deal with him here, I can eliminate the entire problem."

Moody stared at her as if she was completely insane... but then stepped aside.

The woman rolled her eyes, "Soldiers." she muttered, and then with a wave of her hand the pile of Death Eater corpses, atop which lay Voldemort's very much dead body, were set ablaze. "Much better." The way the firelight flickered off her face as she smiled at the burning bodies, made her look positively sinister.

Ianto was entirely too curious for his own good. If he had the Sorting Hat on in this exact moment, it would be shrieking Gryffindor so loud you'd hear it back in Cardiff. He approached the woman, and asked, "Don't like the paperwork, so burn it?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, seeming to tense at this sudden interruption, then turned to face him, smiling brightly. "Exactly. I really wouldn't recommend cremation, if I were you, Mr Jones."

Ianto blinked, "How do you know my name?"

She smiled, taking a step closer to him, and reaching out to take his hand. He surprised himself by not resisting as she clasped it in both her hands. "I'm the devil. And I'll be seeing you very soon, my dear."

She looked right into his eyes, it felt like she stared right through his soul, like there was nothing else in the world but that intense gaze. In that moment, he felt that he would do anything to please her, but somehow that was out of a sense of fear and awe, not any positive emotion whatsoever.

And then she turned and walked away, leaving him with a feeling of unease.

He watched her leave, but when he blinked she was gone, only a faint glimmer of blue light where she had been. He shook himself out of the strange daze, to find there was something in his hand. and looked down to find a twenty-first century USB memory stick there, and he stared at it in confusion.

Who the hell was this woman?

"I know her." John said with a frown, "If she's the devil, I'm Mary Poppins. Although we both do quite a good impression."

Ianto gave him a sceptical sideways look at that, before asking, "How do you know her?"

"I should say... I know her soul. Not her face."

Ianto rolled his eyes, "One of those. What was it, Polyjuice?"

John shrugged, "All I know is she's the woman I killed for that Arcadian diamond."

"It clearly didn't stick." Ianto said flatly.

"Well... either that or it hasn't happened for her yet." John suggested with a shrug.

Ianto sighed. "Let's go inside. It's depressing out here." The truth was it was creepy, but he wouldn't admit that to his arch-nemesis.

Hart nodded, and with that it seemed the excitement of the day was over.

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Ianto got an odd feeling of deja-vu as he watched the proceedings over the next day and a half. The Ministry all but flew through the paperwork, imprisoning the surviving Death Eaters, pardoning defectors like the Malfoys and Scabior, and enacting new laws under intense pressure from the Order of the Phoenix in general and Harry Potter in particular.

He hadn't even time-travelled as Jack's now-lost future self had, but still it felt familiar. Predictable. Boring.

On the day they were to return home, he could be found sitting in the hallway outside the room in Hogwarts that Tosh had commandeered for their return journey. He had the memory stick in his hands, turning it over wondering if there was some way in this decade to unlock its secrets.

He heard movement beside him, and looked up to see John Hart standing there.

"Well?" he asked, pocketing the memory stick and standing up to face Hart.

Hart leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I'm pregnant. You're the father."

Ianto closed his eyes, trying not to laugh. It was absurd, but Jack had told him it would be true. Then again, Jack had said this right in front of Hart, so it was possible Hart changed what he planned to say, just to mess with him.

"You're insane."

"I get told that a lot."

"I hate you."

"That, too."

Ianto laughed. "Is this true?"

"You don't trust Jack?"

"I don't trust you."

Hart laughed, "Why would I lie about this?"

Ianto looked into the room where Jack, Tosh, Owen and Gwen were waiting for him. It wouldn't be long now.

He gave Hart a sceptical look. "I'm not sure."

"I can prove it, but I don't think there's time to remove the concealments before-"

"Ianto!" Tosh shouted, appearing in the doorway. "The crystal's started glowing, I think you need to be here!"

Ianto hesitated for a moment, before making up his mind. He was the same age here and now as his past self. He would lose nothing from staying behind, in fact he would gain a decade of life and experience, even if Hart was lying.

"IANTO!" Jack called from the room, behind where Tosh stood.

"I'm not going." Ianto answered.

Jack's face appeared over Tosh's shoulder, "What?!"

"You heard me. I'll explain when you get there."

Jack looked ready to go out into the hall and drag Ianto in there, but Tosh pulled him back. "It's okay, Jack. I think it'll work this way."

"I'm not leaving him!" Jack shouted.

"I'll be there when you arrive." Ianto promised.

Just then the light in the room intensified to near-blinding. "Jack, we have to go now!" Tosh shouted.

Jack gave him a pleading look, but Ianto shook his head. "It's my choice, Jack."

Jack swore, but didn't argue. He allowed Tosh to pull him back into the room, and with a flash of blinding light they were gone.

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Missy returned to the Nethersphere, smug in her satisfaction that she had eliminated a huge headache, and several stacks of Important Paperwork with one little act of pyromania.

She arrived in the interview room to find another man chatting amicably to Seb.

The two of them were holding an in-depth conversation about comic books.

"You're early." she said coldly, before pressing a button on her phone. "Wake up."

And he was gone. Back to the land of the living, for another twenty years.

"Was that necessary?" Seb asked, somewhat crestfallen.

"We're not supposed to pick up near-death experiences, Seb. You know that."

"I know, but I was just-"

"No autographs!"

"But he's-"

"Not your job." she snapped, "Now we still have two dozen witches and wizards to house in the low-tech sector. Get back to work."

Seb bowed his head. "Yes Mistress."

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