Definite spoilers for (probably) the week of 7/11…

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Bianca loses track of how the breeze rushes through the leaves overhead, loses track of how warm the sun feels on her skin, loses track of every part of this world around her.

And she forgets to breathe all together; holding back the air out of anticipation and out of worry and out of all the things that she expected…

…this kiss is not one of them.

This kiss is not part of the plan.

Bianca had already fitted the pieces of this torturous puzzle – building a picture of Marissa with J.R. – and was prepared to live the rest of her life in a suspended state of longing. She was prepared to watch her children grow up and then move away, marking the passage of time with their highs and their lows, and never giving voice to her own existence left to languish.

Bianca had already shut the door on this 'attraction'.

'Attraction' – a word to describe the tug of one thing to another, a pull from one person to another, magnetic and inevitable and so she was falling into Marissa so easily, so naturally.
But it was always more than that. 'Attraction' was simple to state, simple to play off. 'Attraction' was a shooting star passing up above.

Saying 'love' would have said way too much.

Saying 'love' would have brought that comet to the ground.

Bianca feels the ground beneath her feet tremble, though. And there's a distant blow that has finally reached her body and, instead of seeking a safe place to stand, Bianca does not have the strength to move. She is rigid with want and with fear; she is still watching for this to fade away and be a dream.

And she forgets to breathe all together; holding back the air out of anticipation and out of worry and out of all the things that she expected…

…this kiss is not one of them.

This kiss is not part of the plan.

But plans only work if everyone plays along. Rules only work if everyone decides not to break them.

And Marissa has shot it all to hell. Marissa has called the heavens down. Marissa is taking those unspoken words and shouting them. Marissa is destroying Bianca's carefully constructed reality and it would be for the best to exert some caution; it would be for the best to stop this now and question this moment.

It would be for the best to end this before it gets out of control… but…

Bianca forgets to breathe.

Bianca forgets to breathe and so she takes the sigh from Marissa's parted lips; she takes that sigh and inhales it and savors the way it fills up her lungs and her heart reaches out with greedy hands to keep this sensation forever and forever.

Because this is not 'attraction'.

This is the burning of desire; this is the wild abandon of love. This is something new and terrifying; this is something familiar and painful. This is Marissa – soft lips and adamant speeches and a palm against Bianca's cheek – and this is lovely and dangerous and perfect and crazy.

And this kiss is not part of the plan.

But plans can change.

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end