Disclaimer: I don't own VD neither the books nor the TV version. I don't gain any profits from it. This writing is just for fun. The amazing characters are from L.J. Smith and CW.

A/N: Well I'm back with another Bamon story based on the books. It took my a while. I know I need to finish my other story, but I'm still fighting my writer block. I will end the story, I promise. Just have faith in me. Anyway this story have my favorite pairing with of course Elena and Stefan. I don't know yet if the rest of the gang will be part of this story, but it will have original characters. So again it is my take to after Midnight. It would be completely AU.

Warning: It is after Midnight. It would have OC and the main characters could possibly be OOC. So please bear with me a little. Oh! I almost forgot. I re-read my one-shot Truths Between Us. That little shot was one of my inspirations to this story. I suggest you to read it. And of course leave me some feedback.

Enough with my babbling I'll let you read the chapter now. ;)

Chapter 1: Flicker of Hope

Bonnie

My heart had been in pain since that awful day. Or was it that night? After almost a year, some details were getting hazy. Maybe my memories were becoming hazy because of my strong wish for everything to have been a nightmare. That nothing happened and we were all alive and together. I felt horribly guilty. With my impulsiveness, I'd hurt everyone. He's gone and it was my fault. It hurt. It really hurt. I'd even hurt my heart in the process.

At least I got the opportunity to talk about it with Elena. Well she was the one who sought me out. She was the one who practically made me talk about what happened. To talk about what happened to him. I was sure she was hurting too. She loved him and he loved her back. Now I was sure about their love. Sometimes I tried to tell myself: "You're not the only one hurting. Grow up already Bonnie. Your friend needs you." But I was tired already and exhausted from dealing with my heart and trying to help another person even if that person was my dearest friend. Because I had closed my heart for so long the whole process of helping each other and being near to each other was becoming unbearable. We couldn't be ourselves. To much pain was constricting us to move forward.

I'm thankful that Elena forced me to talk about it. That talk helped us to release some of the tension between us. It was my first time to admit out loud my feelings for Damon. Not even once I'd gotten the courage to say it. I hadn't said it even to my reflection in front of the mirror. After admitting my feelings I felt some weight had been lifted from my shoulders. But my emotions and feelings weren't totally ready to let everything go. At certain moments I swore that I didn't want to move forward. I wanted to remember him.

Why did he save me? His absence brought more questions than answers. I couldn't comprehend his reasons. Not at all. His heart belonged to another person. And I couldn't recall if we were friends. It was a strange connection between us. That was all. A simple connection.

I'd been missing my friends but I couldn't make myself call them. I clearly told them that I needed healing. That I needed time to grow. I needed time. But still... I miss them so much. I miss everyone, including the one already gone from my life.

"Bonnie! Wake up!"

"Huh?"

"You're day dreaming again."

"I'm sorry."

"Seriously, girl you need to get laid."

"MONICA!"

"What? It is the truth. At least you are now totally awake."

I couldn't help it. I laughed at my roommate's tactics. She was a bubbly, positive and sincere person. I'd grown to love her. She made it easy. I knew for sure I was the difficult one between us. She made my loneliness a little bit less hard to bear. I knew we would be good friends. We just needed some more time to get to know each other. I needed to open myself. I just wasn't ready for it. Not yet.

"Girl, it's getting late. You want a ride or..."

"No, go ahead Mon. I'm still early for my classes."

"Okay. See Ya!"

I didn't reply. She was already gone. I took a bath, changed my clothes, grabbed some snacks and got my backpack. For some strange reason my actions made me remember my high school days. Certain habits didn't change at all. I chuckled to myself. I began to walk toward the campus. It was a cold day, but the sun was already shining brightly. Everything seemed to be alive today. It was a strange contrast. I breathed in the peace surrounding me. I really wanted to walk and breathe in the neighborhood. I just wanted to let my mind go blank. The only way for me to achieve it was by walking silently and seeing everything and everyone. Just losing myself in everything surrounding me. I didn't want to hear my heart cry. At least, not now.

"Hey, beauty!"

"Come on Steve. I already told you my name is Bonnie not beauty."

"I know but it is not my fault; it's the meaning of your name. Why are you so alone?"

"I'm heading to class. I just wanted to walk. After all it is a beautiful day."

He looked around. He seemed like he was analyzing my words. He shrugged. "If you say so." We continue walking toward campus. Steve continued his never ending chit-chat. This time it was about a frat party or something. I looked at him. He was handsome. He really was. Monica kept saying that he was into me. That I was the dumbest person for not giving him a try.

"Do you want to go?"

I snapped back to reality. "Sure" I answered without thinking. Without knowing about what we were talking about.

He shot me his gorgeous smile. "I'll pick you at seven." Then he took off.

"Wait!"

He was already running away. It was like he was making sure I couldn't break the date. Great it seems that I have a date with Steve and I didn't know to where he invited me. I stopped walking. I mumbled to myself. "I have a date." A slow smile began to appear on my face.

Maybe this was what I needed. To move on. To give life a chance again. My smile quickly disappeared from my features as soon as it appeared. He kept creeping back into my thoughts. He kept coming back squeezing my heart once again. I didn't know how much power he had over me until he was gone. For God's sake! He was gone. He is not coming back! Please Damon... let me go. Let me be free. Please! I quickly cleaned the tears from my cheeks and continue walking. "Great now I'm late!"

Bonnie

"Give me all the details. I want all of them."

"Come on Mon. Let me sleep."

She began to shake me. She mixed her action with her annoying whining. I sometimes felt that I was living with a five year old girl.

"MONICA! I'm serious, let me sleep. I'm tired!"

"You're so mean Bonnie. I've been trying to hook you up with Steve since... I can't remember since when. At least it is a long damn time. You finally went out with him and you are not going to say anything? No! You're not going to sleep at all."

I groaned at her. Steve brought me home too late. My body was craving the softness of my bed.

"If I tell you, You're going to let me sleep? Right?"

"Well, Yea!"

"Monica, it was more like friends hanging out than a romantic date."

She shrugged a little. "Well it's a beginning."

"We went bowling. We hang out with his friends from..."

"Nah! Don't tell you had the opportunity to hang out with Michael?"

She had this absurd crush on Michael. I didn't quite understand her reasons. I mean he was handsome, but he also had something that didn't quite seem right to me. Every time I was near him I got goose bumps. If I let my mind wonder it would freak me out with the possibilities. I didn't want that. Not right now. Since my last visit to the Dark Dimension my abilities were dormant. I'd closed myself in so much that now I wasn't sure if I would be able to do any psychic things.

"Bon.."

"I'm sorry. Yes, Michael was there. It was a nice 'friends' date. I had fun."

"Nothing romantic?"

"Nope."

"I bet anything that you didn't give him the chance to do romantic stuff. You now...you tend to close yourself off a little when you are around someone attracted to you."

"What?"

"Yep. I've noticed it. You do it with Steve. You did it with... mmm! What was his name? Oh yea with Peter and..."

"Hold it! Your seeing ghosts Monica. What are you saying is... just...?

"Bonnie! You are a beautiful woman and better yet you have a golden heart inside of you. Why is so hard for you to believe that some handsome, yummy and young man would fall for you?"

I lowered my head. Her words struck me right at the center. One of my old wounds began to bleed again. I could almost hear my mother's voice saying almost the same words.

"I'm... I guess... I don't know. I really don't know."

"Bonnie did you have boyfriends before?"

"Yes, but I was an airhead back then. For me their looks were important. Way too important. I mean they still are important. It's... I discovered too late that I needed and wanted more than mere looks."

"Let me guess your need and want had a name. Right?"

"Monica, I already told you about my date. Please let me sleep."

"Bonnie."

"Monica... I just don't want to talk about it."

She nodded and mumbled, "Go back to bed." She got out of my room and an oppressing silence appeared. I liked her, but sometimes I hated her intuition. Now I was too awake to sleep at all. I was restless, angry and sad. She'd just stirred up the wrong memories.

I decided to pick up my phone and send my usual messages to my sisters and parents. It was a family deal to get in touch every single day. I liked it. Their responses made me feel connected and loved. I hesitated a little but I finally decided to send the same hi message to the gang. I couldn't be with them but I still loved them. I didn't wait for any reply from them. I searched for some clothes and began to walk to the bathroom. In an instant I froze on the spot. I had goose bumps all over my body. I began to see the dark dots. Oh no! Not again!

"Monica... Mon!" I said that trying to scream, but it came out as a whisper. I felt when I totally disconnected from reality. The last thing I'd heard was Monica's scream.

Damon

I was sick and tired of this grayness. Everything looked dull and boring. I didn't know were I was and I couldn't remember how I ended up here. I barely remembered my name; Damon. Sometimes two beautiful faces came to my mind. But I couldn't decipher if I knew them or who they were. It was frustrating and infuriating. Too long I'd being wandering through this place. I wanted to return to wharever I belonged. But I couldn't locate a damn exit. At this point it didn't matter to where it would take me. I just wanted to get out of here and have a decent meal. The gobbling like people of this world tasted so sour and nasty. Their blood tasted rotten and I got sick every time I sank my fangs in one of them.

My only entertainment was watching the two locks of hair that I found on me when I woke up. One blond and the other lock red. The blond one was soft like a feather. The red one was curly, eye catching and playful. I figured out that they probably belong to the two maidens I sometimes remember. One of the lovelies' ladies was blond and the other one redhead, the striking blond ethereal beauty and the delicate, little as a bird fiery red maiden. Sometimes I could remember a pair of concerned green eyes. I could see a pair of green eyes that didn't belong to any of the two maidens. I constantly repeated like a mantra. Where was I? The maidens; who were they? The green eyes; why do they keep watching me? It somehow gave me a purpose. The answers to those questions were one of the reasons to keep moving forward. I needed to get out.

I perceived some movement. I groaned. I was tired. I wanted some rest but this world didn't have anything peaceful. I knew I was a predator but; here I was a prey. I was constantly defending myself. They were bigger and powerful threats. They wanted my cold flesh. I couldn't understand why. For me a warm flesh with a beating heart was ten times better. I'd picked up my make shift weapons and prepared myself for the next battle. At least this time I wouldn't end up drinking goblin blood.

I hid myself behind the rocks and waited for the perfect moment to pounce on my victim. I heard the sound of something falling and hitting the ground. I began to move slowly and prepare myself to attack it. The surprise element was fundamental here. This was the first lesson of this awful gray world. In order to survive one had to be clever and the surprise element was a key part of the hunt.

I jumped towards where I heard the noise. I just stood there. I couldn't move a muscle. I was perplexed. I immediately forgot all the fighting skills and the survival stuff. I switched into a normal surprised guy who began to believe he was watching some kind of illusion. Since I opened my eyes in this world I'd never saw any other color. Everything was black and gray. Now in front of me was a little thing with alabaster skin and fiery red hair engulfed in a light blue robe.

My hands began to tremble. It couldn't be. I was dreaming or I'd just lost my sanity. It must be a dream. I slowly crouched beside the little thing. It was a maiden. A delicate and beautiful maiden! I touched her face. I was stunned. I totally lost it. Her face! She was one of the faces I continuously saw on my dreams. How? Why? She slowly opened her eyes. They were a beautiful captivating brown eyes and they were full of sadness.

"How? I must be dreaming. It is you? Please tell me it is you, Damon."

"That's my name." What else could I tell her? I couldn't remember anything else. She began to cry. Her tears touched my hand. I knew instantly. She was truly a maiden. Her tears were so powerful and pure. I almost couldn't control my impulse to sink my fangs on her. I hesitated because I couldn't figure out if she was real or if she was a figment of my imagination.

"I'm sorry. Everything is my fault." I kept silent. I just kept watching her beautiful features.

"Please return home. They are waiting for you. They miss you."

"They?"

"Yes." I watched her carefully and a strange question came to my mind.

"And you. Do you miss me?" New tears began to fall from her eyes.

"I miss you with all my heart. Please come home. Come back to Fells Church."

After that she began to fade. I lost her within seconds. The first stunning and beautiful thing I found in this strange and dull world and I lost her. I was furious. I yelled to everyone and no one. Why are you playing with me? That's when I saw for the first time the faint light in front of me. I tried to grab it but; it scurried away from me. I followed and tried to catch it again. The little light kept playing with me.

I knew it was stupid to follow the light and play with it like a kid. But what else I could do? This light was new and different. I didn't want to lose it like the maiden. I'd found it and it was mine. I couldn't let anyone of the monsters to have it. At the end I comprehended why the light was playing with me. The light guided me to a door. When I touched it and turned the doorknob the little light disappeared.

I looked back to the gray world and compare it to what was beyond the door. It was a white world that seemed to be cold. But for some strange reason I felt I already knew this world. I crossed into the white world and I never looked back. It was time for a change. Now I was surrounded by snow but it didn't matter to me.

The red maiden helped me today. Now I was sure the light was from her. Maybe she will come back and help me again.

Bonnie

I slowly opened my eyes. I was sore and had a huge headache. What happened to me? I looked around and I could only see white walls. This wasn't my room. Where was I? I tried to move a little. I wanted to sit and call someone.

At that moment Monica entered the room. "Oh My God! You're awake. Thanks God! You scared sh*t out of me. Don't ever do that again."

She was fussing all over me. "Mon… Mon. Monica. Please." My voice was a mere whisper. Why was I feeling so bad?

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"It's okay Mon. But I want to know what happened?"

"You fainted Bonnie and I couldn't wake you up. First I thought you had problems with low blood pressure or low sugar levels like my grams. But she usually came back really quickly. You seemed dead. Your skin was cold. I panicked and called 911."

"How long?" Monica was so nervous that she didn't even let me finish my question.

"24 f*ckin hours!"

"Oh! I'm sorry."

"I took the liberty to call your sister and some girl called Elena called you."

"What?"

"Your sister is coming over and Elena too. She told me something about coming with Steve, Steffy I don't remember Bon."

I let out a weary sigh. I knew my sister would be freaking out. I knew Elena would understand what had happened to me. Maybe Stefan could help me to make everyone believe I just had problems with sugar or blood pressure. The awful part of this ordeal was I wasn't prepared to see them again not after the strange dream that I had.

It had to be a dream. Even though it was so real and vivid. I still felt his touch on my cheek. I saw and heard him. How this could be? After his death I never dreamt about him. Not once. Why now? He seemed surprised to see me. I'm probably loosing my sanity. His was dead. I watched him die because of me.

Why was this dream so real? I wanted to believe it with all my heart. I really wanted to have hope of him being alive in a strange world.

"Hey, stop day dreaming. God!"

"Monica, thank you so much for everything. I am really sorry for scaring you."

"You will pay me with a huge and delicious chocolate ice cream on Sunday." I smiled at her; she was unbelievable and some times even childish. I could relate myself to that so easily. That was one of my traits too. I hugged her. It was comforting to know someone cared about me that much. Soon the door of my room opened and Steve came into the room holding a bucket of flowers. The flowers' aroma filled the room. They were so beautiful. I just kept watching them.

"Hey beautiful! I'm so glad you are back."

"Guys I just remembered I want some delicious hot hospital coffee." That was Monica's cue to leave us alone. She stepped out of my room hurriedly. She was the one doing the match making for Steve and me. I looked at him for some seconds. An awkward silence began to appear between us. I couldn't let that happen.

"Steve, thank you so much for the flowers."

"No problem, anything for my little beautiful."

"Steve! My name is Bonnie. Please keep that in mind."

"I just like to call you beautiful."

"I know but…"

"No buts." His features turned serious right at that moment.

"Bonnie I was really worried. I know we are just friends but you are really important to me."

"I know Steve."

"I want to give us a chance. Would you be willing to give us a chance Bonnie?"

My instincts were screaming at me a huge no. But my head knew that this was a good opportunity to move forward. I needed to live and heal. Steve was great to me. I liked him. He was an eye candy and a gentleman. I liked his honesty. I just didn't know if I could love him. It wouldn't be fair for him.

"Bonnie. I know you see me as a friend. I'm asking for the opportunity to win your heart."

"Steve I lost someone before. Only when he was gone I understood how much I loved him. I'm not ready, but I also know that I need to move forward. If I say yes to you… I would feel it is not a fair deal for you. You deserve a girl who loves you. With no ghosts hanging in her closet."

His eyes were sad for a moment. Then I saw a flicker of something. It looked like determination.

"I will win your heart. You'll see."

I couldn't help it. I felt bad when I saw his determination because I could only think about my dream of a gray world with a flicker of hope in it.

A/N: I want to say thank you to my betas Bookwormgrl101 and LilyCullenSalvatore. A special thanks goes to TheSocialRiotMachine she gave me great ideas for this story and the title. Danielle Salvatore thanks for your feedback, it was really important for me.

Lily I use your title suggestion for this chapter. I think it fits perfectly. =)

Well What do you think about it? Please leave me some love and review the chapter. You could give me suggestions or you can guess what will happen next. Come on! It is just one click and some seconds to write something. =)

Oh! The horrors, errors etc. are totally mine. =(

PS: You should visit this forum your contributions will be really appreciated: www(.)romanceluvers(.)proboards(.)com. I think you will like it. (Just write the address without the parenthesis)