Authors note: New idea. I haven't posted anything new in a while. If it doesn't get any reviews I won't continue. So read, review and enjoy.

Whisper, Whisper

The silence in the large apartment was the signal that something was amiss from the very beginning. Mello placed his keys down on the kitchen table peering into the living room that was just as quiet at the remainder of the house. There was no beeping, no buzzing and no cursing which was what he was used to hearing around this time when he came home early. He was certain that he had seen the red heads car parked outside before he came up. Well, almost certain. He was so used to it being in one place that it was possible that he imagined seeing the import sitting outside in it's usual space. It wouldn't surprise him. He stalked through the downstairs turning up nothing but the red heads cigarettes. He never went far without those, he had to be home somewhere.

"Matt?" He called up the flight of stairs awaiting a reply that never came. He frowned deeper trying the first stair nearly expecting it to blow up. Today was turning out to be more weird than he was used to. Murder? Usual. Drug trafficking? Normal. Going 90 in a 45 and flipping off a school bus? Completely normal. But Matt without a pack of cigarettes, completely fucking weird. "Matt, if you don't answer you know I'll come up after you. Don't piss me off, I just got home and I'm having a long week." He tried the second stair and then the third until he reached the top glancing around and finding everything normal up here also. "Matty?"

"Yeah?" The voice came from the bedroom and Mello released a breath that he didn't know that he had been holding until that moment. "What's up Mel?" The red head stepped out looking a bit more pale than usual and a whole lot more shaky. "I didn't hear you come in, I would have come down." He mumbled keeping his hands clasped firmly in front of him.

Mello nodded slowly reaching forward and running his fingers through the others hair. He hadn't been able to do that since he had gotten those damn goggles. "Matty, you left your cigarettes downstairs and where are your goggles?" He watched the red head stare at his hand that held the cigarettes before creating more of a distance between the two of them. He sighed, something was going on and he didn't think he was going to be enjoying a quiet day at home with this guy. "Okay Matt, what's going on now? You never leave your cigarette's lying around places and I've seen you wear those damn goggles in the shower. What the fuck is your problem? There's a fucking security camera right outside, your paranoid ass heard me coming in."

The red head gently rubbed his shoulder glancing around as if the room would interrupt the conversation. "I stopped smoking." He whispered watching the blond raise an eyebrow. "It's a dirty habit. I should have never started it to begin with." The blond nodded slowly placing the cigarettes on the table beside the stairs. "And I was using my goggles as a shield, I shouldn't hide from the world. I got rid of them a few days ago. I should have told you but you've been so busy I didn't want to bother you."

Mello leaned against the banister, "Right. Right. Right. Smoking bad. Goggles bad. Who are you and what have you done with my Matt?" He questioned as the other stepped back again his eyes wider than usual. He looked almost fearful. "I was joking, what's wrong Matt? This isn't like you."

Listen to that. Look what you did you idiot. Now he's suspicious of you. You can't do anything right, now can you? I told you to do these things because it would make Mello like you more but all that stupid babbling now you have him thinking something is wrong. He's happy you stopped with all those dirty habits. He's happy you're not dirty anymore. You don't smell like smoke. The apartment is beginning air out too. Mello would be so proud of you if you would just do as you're supposed to. If you keep this up he'll leave you. Why do you think he wants someone like you? Why do you think he needs someone like you? That's right Mail Jeevas, he doesn't need you. No one needs you so you have to make yourself needed.

I'm sorry. I-I'll fix it. As long as Mello's happy he won't question it. I'll make him need me.

You better or else you'll go back to when he left you there...alone at Wammy house. Hahahahahahaha...

He shook his head quickly sliding past the blond. "I'm just not feeling well today." He managed as the other grabbed him without moving. Mello's grip tightened as he pulled the red head to his chest and leaned down until his lips were by his ear.

"I know you Mail. This is not you. Mail Jeevas does not just stop smoking. Mail Jeevas does not apologize and he certainly does not go anywhere without those goggles. What happened. Tell me."

If you tell him he'll think you're insane. Remember all the searches you did on google? What did they say? Not even Mello is above locking you away once you become a liability. Go ahead, tell him. Haha, I dare you.

Stop it.

If Mello leaves you you'll be alone. If Mello locks you away you'll be alone. Poor widdle Matty, all alone. All alone. Foreverly alone.

Stop it.

Who are you to tell me to stop? Suppressing me for so long. All I want to do is help you but you keep fucking that up. You keep fucking everything up. Show Mello your arms. Show him. Show him. Show him.

"Matt?" Mello had pulled the red head from his chest feeling the shaking suddenly increase. "Matt? Answer me Ma-"

"Fucking stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Go away! Stop it and fucking go away!" Matt's eyes instantly widened as he grasped desperately for the blond who looked nearly as shocked as he felt. "Not you Mello. Not you, it's not you. I promise it's not you. I-It's-"

Not you. Not you. Oh no Mello, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Haha, bitch. You're such a bitch Matt.

Ice blue eyes blinked slowly in confusion. Mello didn't know if he should just leave the red head alone or stand here and hold him. He chose the second one slowly rubbing the others back in a comforting motion. "Now why tell me to 'go the fuck away'?" He questioned confused. "What's really going on Matt?"

Yes, Matt. What's really going on?

The red head frowned, he really needed a smoke. "Voices." He replied softly.

"Come again?"

Haha, come again Matt. Care to repeat that one.

He coughed, "Voices. I hear voices."

Mello laughed shaking his head slowly pulling the other into his arms. "You had me worried there Matty. I nearly thought I was going to have to hunt someone down for hurting your feelings. Everyone hears 'voices', it's called your conscious. If you're like me you just ignore it and do what's best." He flashed the red head a smile before noticing his face was blank, hidden behind the mask of cascading red hair. "Or do you mean..."

"The voice told me to stop smoking because you hate the smell of cigarette smoke. He told me that if I didn't listen you would leave me again like you did at Wammy house." He whispered staring intently at the others chest. "He says that the goggles annoy you because you can't see my face. He tried to talk me into cutting my hair but I wouldn't do it. I can't get rid of my hair and goggles. I'd have nothing left. I'm sorry I disappoint you Mel. I'm trying, I promise. Don't leave me."

The blond tilted the others face up searching for the joke. "Matt how long has this been happening? Since you stopped smoking? You could be going through withdrawal."

He shook his head slowly. "I'm shaking because of withdrawal. He told me to stop smoking, remember?" He stared at the other, completely hidden by that blank face. Even without his goggles he was hidden. "It's happened for years on and off but this time I can't get rid of it. It's alright."

So you decided to tell him? He thinks you're crazy Matt. The first step is talking about it.

"How long is years?" Mello echoed watching the red head begin down the stairs. He instantly followed. "Matt, how long is years?"

He shrugged, "Maybe a month after I came to Wammy house. Maybe before, I don't remember anymore."

Mello gasped grabbing the others arms. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Another shrug. "I'm sorry. Please don't be mad Mello."

Kiss him. Apologize again and kiss him. Where would you be without me?

Matt flashed a smile leaning up and pressing his lips to the others. Mello returned the kiss with confused suspicion. He pulled back, "Please don't be mad at me Mel, I'll tell you anything you want now. I promise."

Where would you be without me?

Thank you.

Ending notes: And here's the first chapter. I thought it was interesting enough please tell me if you do so also. Review!