So, here I finally do it, bring little tidbits of Gil's apprenticeship to all you humor-hungry readers. Varying lengths, with most intended to make you laugh, so no crying unless I say so. Though if you're a Halt-sympathizer, I have a feeling he will get picked on a little... *evil grin* Lastly, I am aware that there are one or two other stories like this, but I wanted to give it try with my own style and thoughts :).

Disclaimer: *yanks at papers* Please, please, please can I just have Gilan? *falls on butt without papers* Gilaaaan! I own nothing...

Summary: Gilan Davidson was one in a million. Literally, the one in a million to get hit by lightning. And memory loss in front of Halt calls for some amusing possibilities. Which are, of course, Gilan's specialty.

Warning: Facts are wrong. There is a one in 300,000 chance to get hit. Careful all you flamers, the exaggeration is a large theme. *rolls eyes*

One in a Million

Halt was certain he'd made a good decision when accepting Gilan. The boy was obviously miserable studying swordsmanship, and curious enough to try to become a Ranger's apprentice instead. Besides, even former-knight trainees were supposed to be respectful and obedient. ...Right?

But of course, Gilan Davidson was nothing of the sort. A smart mouthed, mischievous, trouble-magnet. And even though he could be amusing at times (but Halt would never admit that), the teen would no doubt be the cause of Halt's first gray hairs. Starting with getting struck by lightning.

.::.::.

Gilan swore repeatedly as he urged Blaze faster, though his voice was lost among the rumbling thunder, howling wind, and battering rain. Had the apprentice been any lighter, he'd have been blown out of the saddle.

"Dammit!" he tried, and got a mouthful of raindrops for his trouble.

Finally, Gilan pulled Blaze to the side of the road in the shelter of the fringing trees. They were both blinded by the rain, and Gilan tossed his head along with the mare, weighed down by the water soaking every inch of him. His butt was numb, his hair felt like a wet cat was wrapped around his head, and in such weather he had no idea which way to go home, Blaze's dulled senses not helping. All in all, Gilan was miserable.

He swore again. It didn't help.

Sighing, the apprentice swung off Blaze and stumbled a little on numb legs. Despite the dripping leaves, the several trees Gilan brooded under did provide some respite. Only for a second though, because as it happens, trees are excellent conductors of electricity. Woe to that unlucky person near one in a lightning storm.

The first thing Gilan noticed when he blinked awake was his ginormous headache. The second was that he couldn't remember anything.

He remembered what a bed was, and he was in one. He remembered Billy stealing his ice cream on the other boy's first day of training at seven years old. And...well, that was it in the memory area. So, Gilan concluded, it must be the morning after Billy Jones stole his ice cream. That still didn't explain the room he was in. Or why his body felt much bigger than a seven-year-old's. Or why his head hurt. Or-

Gil groaned, head pounding. He wondered if his father would let him have ice cream again.

The door to the room he was opened then, and in walked a scary looking man with one of those magic cloaks Gilan had always wanted, carrying a tray of steaming soup and a bottle of red liquid. With a massive longbow slung across his back and the dark features of his face, the nursing manner with which he brought in the food and medicine made Gilan giggle. The man looked funny.

"You're awake," the man noted in relief. He placed the tray in Gil's lap. "Eat this, then I'll give you the medicine for your head."

Gilan looked at the soup, then to the man with the raised eyebrow that looked like a caterpillar, and back again. He crossed his arms stubbornly, his young mind fixed on the one thing he had been thinking about and not planning on changing course anytime soon.

"Ice cream."

Halt, and it was indeed Halt the Ranger that was mentoring the boy, was taken aback. Gilan's voice had become more high-pitched than before, not to mention it was again one of those admittedly often occasions where Gilan asked for ice cream. Halt had always refused, of course, saying ice cream made Gil hyper. Which was probably true.

"Er, no Gil," Halt said slowly, not wanting to make any sarcastic comments until he was sure Gilan was alright in the head. (Not that he had been before, but there was a Gil-standard in these situations.) "You need to eat this." Halt hesitated, then picked up a spoonful of the substance to presumably force-feed the boy.

Gilan pressed his lips together, going slightly cross-eyed as he stared at the spoon by his mouth. "Ice cream," he repeated tightly, lips not parting enough to allow Halt to shove the soup in his apprentice's mouth.

Gilan was briefly aware that he should wonder why he was with this man. But he wasn't too worried, he recognized the famous and dear Ranger friend of his father's, Halt. And if there was anything Gilan knew about grown-ups, it was that they loved to give kids ice cream whereas their parents did not. So, Gilan concluded again using his logic, Halt was probably dying to give him ice cream. Chocolate, preferably, even though his mother said chocolate made him hyper.

"Fine!" Halt said exasperatedly, deciding they could visit the healer on their way. "But drink this first." He uncorked the bottle of red liquid and held it out to Gilan.

"Whatsit?" Gil asked suspiciously.

"Medicine."

Gilan shrieked and Halt almost dropped the bottle. Not that Gil was to blame, Halt should have known better than try to give a small child medicine, nasty looking one at that. Children are terrified of things that are good for them. Gil was no exception, perhaps even more volatile.

He dove under the covers, upsetting the soup bowl so it sloshed over onto the tray. Gil was babbling about scary dragon blood being force fed to him in the form of medicine.

"Gilan, what the hell is wrong with you?" Halt exclaimed.

Gilan froze, peeking his head out from under the covers, eyes horror-struck. "You-you said a bad word!" he squeaked.

Now it was Halt's turn to stare. Gilan had used "bad words" countless times. He blamed Halt for getting him into the habit, but Halt knew he was just glad not to have his mother around to chastise him when he did. Suspicion then dawned in Halt, and he asked warily, "Gilan, what exactly do you remember?"

Gilan frowned, already having forgotten both the medicine and the bad word, but not yet completely the ice cream. "Billy took my ice cream," he whined, still frowning. "I dunno where my daddy is, but he's your friend so-" Gil took a breath, because, like most children, he was speaking quite fast "-you have to buy me more ice cream 'cause my daddy can't 'cause I dunno where he is."

Halt rubbed his forehead with his index finger and thumb, realizing Gilan believed he was still a child. One that wanted ice cream and refused to take his medicine. Therefore, Halt concluded glumly, he had to treat Gilan like a little boy. Should he use a baby voice? Shuddering, Halt decided not to.

"If you take a sip," Halt coaxed enticingly, "then I'll take you out for ice cream. Okay?"

Gilan eyed the Ranger warily, then stuck out his pinky under the nose of a startled Halt. "Pinky promise?" he demanded.

Halt stared for a moment, not sure what he was supposed to do. He imitated Gilan then, holding out his own pinky and saying, "Yes?"

Gilan grabbed Halt's little finger with his own and shook it vigorously up and down, brightening considerably as he released it. Halt winced at the enthusiastic grip.

The boy parted his lips and Halt quickly took advantage of it and poured the red liquid down Gil's throat. His head cleared surprisingly fast, and Gil sprang out of bed, wearing the same singed clothes from the night before but not caring. In getting up, he had knocked over the rest of the soup and it spilled onto the sheets. Halt only had time to groan before Gilan grabbed the Ranger by his cloak and pulled hard in the direction of the door.

Gilan wouldn't let Halt ride Abelard, insisting that he wanted to walk. Halt consented, and immediately regretted it.

Gilan, tall and obviously a teenager, skipped ahead of the older Ranger in a childish manner. He also found it necessary to point out every interesting thing they passed on their walk, attracting many strange looks to the two of them.

"Look Halt!" Gil whispered loudly as they passed a woman and a small child. "I'm a bigger kid than him!"

The mother's eyes narrowed, assuming the teenager was being obnoxious, but before a scene could ensue a thoroughly embarrassed Halt grabbed Gilan by the collar and pulled him speedily along, stopping only once they reached the ice cream stall.

"Pick one," Halt snapped, then realized it was a big mistake.

Gilan's lower lip stuck out and began to tremble at the harsh tone. Halt quickly tried to back track before he had full on wailing child on his hands.

"I'm sorry Gil, here look chocolate!" Halt tried.

Gilan sniffled, still looking at Halt with a hurt expression. The Ranger thought the boy was largely over-doing it, but the ice cream vendor was looking at them as though they were loony. So, Halt awkwardly reached out a hand to pat Gil on his mass of blonde hair. "It's alright, Gil," Halt soothed, feeling his face heat up.

Finally turning away, Gilan jabbed a finger at the chocolate batch. "That one," he said excitedly, tears vanishing.

Halt sighed. "One scoop," he gruffly told the man who was scooping the ice cream out.

Immediately, Gilan cried, "No! Big!"

Halt hesitated, as did the ice cream vendor. A hyper Gilan or a tantrum? With extreme reluctance, Halt nodded his consent and another two scoops were added.

Gilan greedily grabbed the cone and plopped onto a bench nearby, swinging his legs as though they couldn't reach the ground even though they were long enough to. Halt followed and sat down beside him, trying to ignore the townspeople as they watched the Ranger's apprentice hungrily devour a chocolate ice cream.

Halt paused before mentioning going to the healer, eying Gilan closely. He seemed different now, not looking as bouncy as the child inside him had before, and his legs weren't dangling as they had been.

"Ahh, this is good, Halt," Gilan commented, sounding, Halt realized, like his perfectly normal self. "I've been trying for ages for you to get me some ice cream!"

Halt blinked in surprise. "Do you remember now?" he asked, hopeful yet confused.

Gilan laughed. "I've been remembering, Halt," he informed smugly. "Just felt like milking it."

"You were kidding?" Halt said slowly and deliberately.

Gil snickered, nodding. "I realized what had happened after you gave me the medicine." If possible, his grin grew wider. "The ice cream was just too tempting to resist."

As he watched, Gilan's smug grin faded, because Halt's stony expression flickered, revealing fury. Gilan gulped, but couldn't help but grin again maniacally and flee from the bench and in the direction of the nearby forest, a heavily armed Halt at his heels snapping threats.

And Gilan, only Gilan, would have the nerve to take advantage of his youth and leap over a slightly wide stream, and cause an older Halt running at full pelt to be dunked into it half-way through his own jump. Then the boy proceeded to pause in order to allow his cheeky laughter to burst through, and only after Halt started to get to his feet did Gil's eyes widened and he begin to run again.

Halt, while shaking minnows out of his boots, reflected that, out of all the possible apprentices, he'd gotten the one in a million. So, it might have not boded well with anyone if he killed him... Gil could be a legend someday. And the sarcasm in Halt's thoughts was a clear call for irony in the near future.

Gil? A legend? Naw. *evil grin*

Thanks loads to my beta: marauderly izzy, a fellow Gilan fanatic ;D

Review? Gilan as a seven-year-old, you must have some comments ;).

-Dodo