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Agents and Angels (3/3)(X Files/TBAA Crossover)by Sheryl Martin
"Agent Scully's place?" Tess drove along the street, easily avoiding the icy patches that appeared in the road.
"Uh-huh." Mulder sat quietly. "This is a nice car. You can't tell me you bought this on what the Bureau pays you."
She laughed. "I keep it for special occasions. Like this." Stopping at a red light, the woman turned towards him. "So what are you going to say to your partner?"
"Ah..." Mulder felt the walls inside him crack; the natural reluctance to let anyone into his thoughts vanish. "I just want to tell her that I can't stop worrying about her. But I know she has to keep working. She must keep working."
"And you?" She interrogated him like a master. The light turned green.
"I'll just... manage." He let out a heavy sigh. "But it's so hard when I see her working as hard as she can and trying to keep up; not fall back or expect any special attention because of the tumour. I just want to..." His hands curled up in his lap. "I just don't want her to die."
"I'm sure she feels the same way." Tess noted. "But you have to tell her that so she understands where you're coming from; what you expect from her. And what she expects from you." The car slid quietly up to the curb in front of the apartment house.
Mulder blinked. "Wha.... that was fast."
"It's a Caddy." She stroked the dashboard lovingly. "She's my baby. Now you go inside and do what you have to do."
"Right." Getting out the car, he bent down. "Ah... you better go. This could be a while."
She smiled. "I've got some errands to run."
*********
"I was there when your mother died. And your father." Andrew said quietly. "I was there when you killed that man the first time; and I've been here all the other times." He paused. "Not as often now, I must admit."
"Are you..." She swallowed. "Here for Dana? Fox? Marty? Me?" Her hands dove into her jacket pockets.
"Don't do that." He warned her with a sad smile on his face.
Pulling her left hand out; she carefully put her palm against the wall beside them, feeling the tacks press against her hand. "I won't let you take them." Jackie growled. "You'll have to go through me first before you take any of them."
"Don't..."
She pressed hard against the stone; whimpering as the points ripped through her flesh and waiting for the rush of static to roar over her, the blood boiling in her veins.
Except nothing happened. Lifting her hand from the cold wall; she stared at the red liquid now running freely down her arm.
And slammed it against the wall again.
And again.
And again, until the pain was too much to take and she slumped down onto the sidewalk, holding her mangled hand as the tears broke free.
Kneeling down, Andrew shook his head. "Your Gift doesn't work for evil. You know that. When your ancestor made the Pact with the earth; with God, it was to be a protector and a helper. Not a destroyer."
She looked at him. "You've come for me?" The words hissed out through pained lips. "Because I've broken the Pact?"
"No. Not for any of you." Gently taking her hand, he pulled off the glove and dropped it on the ground. The gored and bloody palm stared up at him. "God wants you to know that He has faith in you and Fox and Dana; that you will do what you know is right and will succeed in the end."
"Will they?" She let out a groan as she tried to flex the fingers; feeling the torn tendons and muscles refuse to move.
"You know the answer to that." Gently pulling his palm down over the bloody mess, he clasped her hand. "And as for you - you're not the first St. George to have wandered off the path. But that's free will for you. And you've done a good job finding your way back."
He released her hand, revealing a flawless and unscarred palm. She let out a whimper mixed with a giggle at the sight.
"When your father first saw you, he was worried. The firstborn for decades had been a male; and now a woman. He was terrified of what you would have to do; what you would have to put up with. But he loved you. As did your mother." Standing up, he held out his hand to her. "Sometimes you have to walk close to Death to see what it means to live."
She took his hand and stood up. "Now what happens?" Her mind spun with the words.
"Go home and know that nothing happens without His knowledge. And that He cares for all His children, including you." Andrew waved a hand towards the car behind them. "And spend your vacation doing something other than caring for your friends. They'll be fine." He smiled. "I think the two of you can manage that."
"Monica... Tess..." Jackie breathed out the names. "They're..."
He nodded. "But I'll assume you know you can't say anything."
St. George giggled. "Mulder's the crazy one in this group. Me, I'm..."
Marty put his hand on the door, opening it to get out. Turning his head to reach for the pistol on the passenger seat, he stopped.
Jackie sat there, her eyes closed.
He glanced out towards the wall; where he had seen the two people seconds before. Then back towards the woman at his side, slowly opening her eyes.
"Jackie?" He frowned, really confused this time.
She smiled at him, wiping her eyes. "Let's go home."
"But that guy... you wanted to check on Dana..." He sputtered. She shook her head, putting her left hand atop his leg.
"Home. And then I have a story to tell you." Reaching in her pocket, she withdrew the still-bloody glove. "And I think Dana's going to be all right."
*********
"You're an Angel from God, aren't you? Right." Dana looked around the garden. "The tumour must be causing hallucinations now." She let out a sigh. "Of course."
"Whether you believe in me or not isn't the point, now is it?" Monica's accented voice met her ears. "The point is that He believes in you and knows your fear and your pain. And that He wants you to know that He will be with you through this."
"And Mulder?" An uncharacteristic laugh broke free. "He doesn't believe in anything. If I tell him that I dreamt that God..."
"He believes in his own way, Dana." Putting her hand atop the agent's, Monica smiled. "But you have to realise that your life is much more important right now than planning for your death. And while it's fine to push your limits; pushing too far is just as bad as sitting back and waiting to die."
"Suicide's still a sin, I take it." Dana joked uncomfortably.
"Well, it's not really wanted. But not taking care of yourself is just as much a sin." Monica stood up. "He wants you to keep strong and keep fighting - and to know that He has plans for you that you can't know just yet."
"Will I die?" The words were forced out softly.
"Everyone dies, Dana." Monica let out a soft laugh. "But not everyone lives to their full potential. Live, Dana."
*********
Letting himself in with his key, Mulder paused in the front hallway. He couldn't hear anything - the home care worker must have left.
"Scully?" He called out hopefully, wishing that she had felt well enough to leave and go shopping or something like that. "Scully?"
Turning the corner, he poked his head into the bedroom and paused.
She was there.
All curled up in the blankets; fiery hair loose and tangled on the pillow. Her lips the slightest bit apart as if she were talking to someone.
He felt so intrusive he almost turned and left.
But he had come here to talk to her, and he'd be dammed if he'd deal with this for another day.
Stepping inside the room, he sat on the edge of the bed; just watching her. Watching the blankets rise and fall with her steady breathing. Watching her live.
Mulder tangled his hands together; intertwining the fingers. "Ah... Scully..."Clearing his throat, he spoke softly; as if not to wake her but to still say the words.
"I was so scared when you told me about the tumour. So scared that they would somehow manage to take you away from me again. And that this time there was no chance of you being returned." A deep sign roared from his chest. "I went to Skinner; told him that I'd make a deal with Smoking Man for the cure - anything he wanted. The X Files, my badge - anything. Just to save you. Skinner said it wasn't worth it if I sold my soul to save you. He was right."
Stretching out a hand, he ran it along the blanket; down her side. "I didn't think about asking you. What you wanted. But I want you to be around for as long as you can, be by my side for the trip."
Shaking his head, Mulder continued. "I know I don't say it well, Scully... Hell, I don't do a lot of things by the book. But I need you to know that I do worry about you so much that it kills me to see you pushing yourself; pushing your limits to keep up with me and trying so hard to make it look like nothing's wrong. That the nosebleeds are just an accident. That you're not tired from the driving, the plane rides. But it burns me up inside that I have to even watch you go."
"But I can't ask you to stay home. As much as I'd like to wrap you up in cotton and put you inside a glass box and keep you safe; that'd kill you faster than that dammed tumour."
"I guess I just need you to know that I'm with you in this fight; but I get scared at times. Scared that I'll have to go to work and see an empty desk one day; know that it'll be empty forever. Because there'd never be anyone else worthy enough to sit there. No one good enough for the hunt."
"But don't get mad at me or yourself when you falter; when you can't go the distance once or twice. I understand, and you've got to. Because I need you to live, Scully. To live through your work and with me; not to sit at home and die even though you're still breathing. I need you with me."
He stopped, his ragged breathing the only sound in the room.
"Mulder..."
The soft voice shocked him, and he dragged his eyes up to her face; seeing the deep eyes staring at him.
"Oh." He leapt off the bed quickly, embarrassed at being caught. "I thought you were... I mean, you were sleeping, and I..." The tall agent gestured at the door. "I let myself in, and..."
"Mulder..." Reaching out, she took his hand. "I'm coming back to work tomorrow. And I promise I'll be careful."
He felt the deep red flush cross his face; suddenly acutely aware of where he was. "Oh. Good. I think Tess is finished the audit anyway, and I've got some new files I want you to look at." Squeezing her hand one last time, he took a step backwards. "Ah... how about some dinner?"
"Chinese food sounds good." She smiled at him, making his heart skip a beat. "Let me get changed and I'll be out in a bit."
"Remember that old saying - 'may you live in interesting times'?" Mulder stood in the doorway, about to disappear from view. "I think it's more of a curse."
"Maybe." She rubbed her eyes. "But I think that live is the operative word here."
"Yah, well..." He stepped out of sight and down the hallway. "I'll call for the usual while you... whatever..."
Scully slowly got out of bed, reaching for the robe. It was time to wake up and get back to work.
********
Tess stood in the corner of Scully's bedroom, nodding approvingly at Monica. "Not bad... not bad at all..."
"But was this what I was supposed to do? Just remind her that she has a duty to live?" Monica frowned. "It's so simple..."
"Of course it is. Which is why she forgot it. It's much easier to work yourself to the limit and then claim new boundaries on your limitations and sickness than to live within them and keep fighting." Tess gave a shake of her head. "We're outta here."
"But does she die? Of the tumour?"
Tess shrugged. "Free will. He created it, they use it. Or abuse it."
"Oh." The woman nodded. "They do make a nice couple..."
"Not my area. Nor yours." In a warning tone, Tess waved a finger. "Leave that up to them."
"Can I drive the car, then?"
Tess let out a groan.
**************How could we be able to forget those ancient myths that are at the beginning of all peoples, the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us...Ranier Maria Rilke************************************