A/N: 18 more days until I move into my college dorm, 18 more days until I move into my college dorm, 18 more days until I move into my college dorm...

Even better, I only have one class on Tuesdays. Unfortunately Wednesday is a completely full schedule. Bio, chem, math, an hour for lunch, more chem, more chem, more chem, english, then I'm done for the day at 6:30 pm. Yay college!

Let me double check... nope, still don't own FMA or HP.

After the dementor incident, school was relatively normal. Relatively being the key word here. For the next month and a half, Dumbledore was still avoiding Harry, Umbridge was still a toad, and was still trying to make everyone's lives difficult, Elric was still aggravating Umbridge, and the golden trio were still suspicious of Kimblee.

"Oy, Harry," said Ron at breakfast, "Take a look at Kimblee, he don't look too happy."

Harry looked up at the staff table where Kimblee sat. Usually the man wore a passively charming expression, but not right now. His face was cold and serious, likely something to do with the letter he was currently reading.

"Wonder what's in that letter," said Ron.

"Look at his bird," said Hermione, "He's not using an owl."

"What?" Harry looked again. Indeed, the bird which had presumably delivered the letter, and was now helping itself to Kimblee's breakfast, was black and much smaller than an owl.

"Is that a crow?" asked Ron, "I didn't think you could use anything other than an owl to deliver mail."

"Good thing Trelawney's not here, or she'd have a fit and start predicting his painful death," said Harry. He noticed something else. "That's odd, Umbridge isn't here."

"Are you complaining, mate?" said Ron, "She's probably out trying to harass Elric, it's like she's offended by the idea of a foreign teacher."

"So why isn't she here harassing Kimblee instead hunting all over the school for Elric?"

"Because Kimblee's bloody scary. I mean, so's Elric, but he's more of a loud and bad-tempered scary. Elric may be a nutter, but Kimblee's a... nutter, know what I'm saying?"

"You realize you just said nutter twice, don't you?" said Hermione.

"No, I called Elric a nutter, I called Kimblee a nutter, there's a difference," retorted Ron.

A barn owl dropped a copy of the Daily Prophet in front of Hermione, forestalling any further argument about verbal italicization. Hermione snatched it up and peered at the front page. "No, surely not..."

"What is it" asked Harry.

Hermione handed over the paper wordlessly.

Dolores Jane Umbridge Appointed Hogwarts's First Ever High Inquisitor

"That toad!" said Harry and Ron simultaneously.

"And right before break, too," moaned Ron, "How are we supposed to enjoy Christmas with that hanging over us?"

"That reminds me," said Hermione, lowering her voice, "Professor McGonogall told me that Professor Elric will be spending Christmas with us."

"At headquarters?" asked Harry.

"Shh! Yes, she said that Professor Dumbledore said that it was a show of good faith, you know, strengthening international relations and all that."

"Because that worked so well last year," Ron snorted.

"Kimblee's not coming too, is he?" asked Harry warily.

"I asked Professor McGonogall that, and she said no, she said Professor Dumbledore said that Professor Kimblee had other duties to attend to."

"'Other duties?' What's that supposed to mean?" asked Ron incredulously.

"I don't know, she wouldn't say."

During the space between his fourth and fifth year classes, Kimblee reread Bradley's latest set of orders.

Red Lotus,
Concerning this Umbridge woman: If she interferes with your assignment, you have my authorization to eliminate her. However, before you get too excited, try not to draw too much attention to yourself when you do so. If your reports and the results of Fullmetal's research are accurate, it would be best if you did not cause too much of an international incident.
That being said, when you eliminate Voldemort, make sure there are witnesses. We still want to send a clear message, so make sure that there are enough survivors that it can't be covered up.
-Fuhrer-President King Bradley

Kimblee wrote a quick confirmation that he had received the letter and sent it back with the crow. When he had reported that the 'normal' owl mail was being watched, the Fuhrer had given a solution in the form of a much less conspicuous bird, wearing a black harness which would conceal any letters. It was obvious really, crows were everywhere in this country and often roosted around the castle. One more would hardly draw attention, especially when these wizards weren't watching for them.

He looked back over the other letter he had received.

Major Solf J. Kimblee,
Your offer has intrigued my Lord, and he invites you to meet us at the Shrieking Shack near Hogsmeade Village on the twenty-third of December, just after dark.
Yours Truly, Lucius Malfoy

It had certainly taken him long enough to reply. And Bradley's orders had just made things more complicated.

But before he could give more thought to the situation, his fifth year class started filing into the room. When the seats were filled he looked over the classroom without bothering to check role. They were all here, with the exception of Draco Malfoy, who had dropped the class after being dangled upside down one too many times. Nobody except some of the Slytherins really missed him.

"Hem, hem."

Oh, this was not what he needed. He'd seen something in the paper about the toad-woman inspecting classes, but this soon? And his class? He turned to the little pink hag. "Can I help you, Professor?"

"You received the notice of your inspection for today?"

Was that what the horrid pink slip on his desk had been? Kimblee hadn't bothered to read it, the horrible color combination of the paper and writing had threatened to cause a migraine should he give it more than a glance. "Nein, I cannot say t'at I did."

Umbridge looked slightly miffed at this. "I assure you, Professor, there should have been an official notice on your desk this morning."

"And I assure you t'at dhere vas not'ing on my desk dhis morning vhich could be described as official-looking."

Umbridge sniffed haughtily and took a seat at the side of the classroom, quill and clipboard at the ready. If she had been expecting to observe an actual lesson she would be disappointed, as Kimblee began handing out a test. He didn't feel like teaching in front of the Umbitch, it was already hard enough to not kill her.

But when he sat back at his desk, she treated this as an invitation to begin interrogating him.

"How long have you served in your military?"

"Is dhis really necessary?"

"Oh, absolutely, I am required to have information on all of our teacher's backgrounds. We wouldn't want a criminal to be teaching impressionable young children, would we?" she said, in that sickeningly girlish voice. "So, Professor, if you would please answer the question?"

"Ten years." Technically his title had never been taken away, and if the Fuhrer wanted to pretend he had never been imprisoned, who was he to argue?

"And you were a, what did you call them, State Alchemist the entire time?"

"Naturally."

"And why do you suppose that Professor Dumbledore hired you?"

"Vhy don't you ask t'e Fuhrer about that?"

"Excuse me?"

"Dumbledore did not hire me nor Fullmetal personally, he asked Fuhrer Bradley for skilled alchemists to teach dhis class."

"I see." Umbridge scribbled something on her clipboard. "But perhaps you might provide some insight as to why your Fuhrer would have sent a thirteen-year-old child to teach classes."

"Perhaps you should ask Edvard dhat himself." Kimblee was starting to become annoyed. Scratch that, he was starting to become annoyed at the start-of-term feast, now he was getting pissed off.

"I am asking you, Professor."

Kimblee sighed in exasperation. "First, he is sixteen. Second, as I have told you, he is not a child, literally. He became a legal adult t'e moment he accepted his title and commission. And t'ird, t'e only t'ings I could tell you about him are common knowledge, as I have never vorked vit' him before. Now, do you mind? You are distracting my students."

Several heads bent back down over their tests.

"Well, then, I shall be back another date in order to properly inspect your teaching methods." Umbridge made a show of organizing her already meticulous clipboard.

"Professor," said Kimblee as Umbridge made to leave, "Dhere is an Amestrian history book in t'e library dhat I t'ink you vould find most enlightening. Simply a reading suggestion."

A/N: I have changed the premise of the upcoming crossover: instead of Ed and Roy anime-based, I'm doing Ed and Ling, because Ling hardly ever shows up in these crossovers and I'm in a Ling mood. I'm still using the language I mentioned last chapter though, but I've expanded the timeframe choices to include books 2 and 3 as well as 4 and 6.

A couple more hints for wht language it is: 1) google translate won't recognize it, this should narrow things down considerably, and 2) it's the same language that my pen name is in. Also, have a little drinking song, just for giggles: Buy'ce gal, buy'ce tal/Verbor'ad ures aliit/Mhi draar baat'i meg'parjii'se/Kote lo'shebs'ul narit. A pint of ale, a pint of blood/Buys men without a name/We never care who wins the war/So you can keep your fame. (Not an exact translation, the last line is closer to "you can stick your fame where the sun doesn't shine")