Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, or "Forever For Her (Is Over For Me) by The White Stripes.

CHAPTER FOUR
Saturday, August 19th

And if I knew what to do, then I'd do it,
But the point that I have, I'll get to it,
That forever for her is over for me.

10:15pm

Funny, it had been 10:15pm the last time Two-Bit glanced up at the clock. It wasn't right that time was moving so slowly, but it also wasn't surprising. Time had been an enemy to him the last two weeks and he wasn't sure how much more of it he could take. It wasn't like the very few other enemies he had; he couldn't fight it, he couldn't get his buddies to help jump it, he couldn't even avoid it. It was always there.

Unlike Kathy.

Scratching his head, he took a sip of his beer, grimacing at the lukewarm drink that had been sitting in his hands for who damn well knew how long? He surely didn't. He might have become some kind of expert at seeking out clocks, checking the time, and not missing a fucking minute, but it all seemed to blend together now.

Minutes turned into hours turned into days. Just yesterday he had woken up, wondering how the hell it had been eight weeks since Steve left; it both felt like longer and not that long. It felt like he had only been hanging out with his buddy the day before, having a few drinks at Buck's, talking about girls, bitching about girls … it all seemed like it had only just happened. Other times it felt like years ago. It felt like it had been months and months since he'd seen Steve, not days. It felt like Steve had been gone too damn long and, even though it was unfair to send him away in the first place, it was about damn time the government sent him back.

If not for Two-Bit's sake, then for Steve's, or Anna's … or Soda's, Darry's, Pony's. Who even cared? Just fucking send him home already.

Two-Bit took another drink, knowing what people would say about his problems with time. It was the same thing they said about his problem with everything else, too.

Don't you think you should cut down on the beer? Are you drunk? Christ, how much have you had?

That's what people would say if they knew. Well, maybe not people, but definitely Kathy.

He didn't need to cut down on the beer. Or the whiskey. Or the bourbon. Of course he wasn't drunk - he was sober as a judge on Christmas morning. And hell, he was pretty sure he was still on his first beer of the night.

Fucking Kathy.

Leaning back in his seat, he rested his feet on the chair next to him. He wondered if anyone was fucking Kathy. He used to think it unlikely. Not that she wasn't fuckable - because she really was - but that she would go out and screw anyone other than him. He had really thought she loved him, had only wanted him, had only wanted to be with him.

He'd obviously been wrong about that.

Frowning, he pushed that thought out of his head, knowing it had done a damn good job of causing a lot of his problems in the first place.

Finishing off the beer, he placed in on the floor next to his chair and noticed the empty bottles sitting there. Huh. Maybe that hadn't been his first after all. It wouldn't be his last either, he decided, reaching for the box.

So he was a little drunk. Who the fuck cared? He was nineteen, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted - including drinking as much beer as he liked. And he would, too. Why? Because he could. Because nobody would stop him. Because there was no one to nag him about it.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he wondered if that was really as good a thing as he thought it was.

He stopped in his attempt to uncap the bottle. It had been a while since he'd gotten drunk for any reason other than having a bit of fun with some buddies; there was no need to start again now. Well, that wasn't entirely true, but it was sometimes true, and that stuck with him. The last thing his friends needed was him turning back into a drunk who couldn't say a nice word to save his life.

Back then he hadn't been able to say a nice word to save a lot of things. His car that'd had its window smashed in by a couple of River Kings, his friendship with Anna that had only recently gotten back on track, and, of course, his relationship with Kathy.

He sighed and pushed the bottle away. He wanted the drink, no surprise there, but he might have been better off without it. Scratch that - he was better off without it.

He glanced at the clock again, surprised and glad to see more than ten minutes had ticked by. Made him wonder that perhaps thinking about things - Steve, Kathy, and all the other bullshit he was trying to forget about - wasn't such a bad thing after all. He'd been avoiding it for what felt like forever, but it sure made the time fly by.

And that was what he needed. He needed time to move faster because, really, waiting for everything he had to wait for was no fun at all. In fact, it was downright shitty. He hated it and if he had the power to travel through time, he would go forward - a month, a year - however long it would take for things to be right again.

He would go to whenever Steve could finally come home. To when he got his buddy back. To when he knew his buddy was safe and okay.

Rubbing his itchy eyes, he pushed that away. Anything could happen to Steve over there; it really was better not thinking about that.

He supposed he could go forward a month or two, go forward however long it would take for him to feel better about Kathy. For him to no longer be angry at her, to no longer hate her … to no longer love her.

Or, maybe he would go back in time. Back eighteen months and convince his past self to treat Kathy better. Back six months and convince his past self to not be a complete asshole to her when she needed him. Back to that very morning and try again and again and again to convince Kathy to stay.

He had never planned on going to see her. As far as he was concerned, when she turned up at his house two weeks ago to tell him she was leaving was going to be the last time he saw her. Only problem that had been torturing him about that encounter being their last, was that he had missed her. He had turned to say goodbye and she had been gone.

It had been killing him ever since.

There had been no way for him to leave it at that; he had to see her one last time and, once he realised that, he realised that he had to convince her not to go.

He made it with time to spare, only allowing himself a few seconds to remember being in the same bus depot eight weeks ago when Steve left, hoping like hell he would never have to go back. He refused to look at Anna as he walked toward them; he didn't need to be reminded of the way she had thrown herself in to Steve's arms - not then.

So he looked at Kathy imploringly, knowing he must look more pathetic than he ever had in his short nineteen years.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, standing from her seat.

Despite what he was doing, despite the look on her face, he tried to make light of it.

"Ain't no one but Anna and your brother here," he said, indicating Dave and Anna. "Thought ya deserved a bit of a better send off than that."

She sighed. "Two-Bit -"

"Don't go."

"What?"

"Don't - don't go," he said again, taking a step toward her. "Please."

She opened her mouth to say something, before promptly closing it. Her gaze moved from his to Anna's to her brothers, and he knew she was hoping someone could tell her what the hell he was doing, because she really didn't understand. Her eyes finally met his again, searching for the answers and words he was finally ready to give.

"Maybe you should piss off," Dave said, standing up.

Kathy waved him off and kept her eyes on Two-Bit. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't want you to leave."

"But … why? Why are you here? I told you weeks ago that I was going - why didn't you say anything then?"

"'Cause I'm an idiot."

"Two-Bit." She sighed his name and he stepped forward again.

"I know I don't deserve you," he said. "But I don't want you to go."

"Why not?"

"Why not what?"

"Why don't you want me to go?" she asked quietly, looking up at him.

"Because -"

He didn't know what to say. There were a million reasons running through his mind, but none of them seemed good enough. Was it enough that he didn't want her to go because he would miss the smell of strawberries? Was it enough that no matter how many jokes he told, none of them would be worth shit without her there to roll her eyes at him before breaking into a reluctant grin? Was it enough that the memory of her pale skin in the moonlight was what had kept him sane after Dally and Johnny died?

He didn't think it was.

It wasn't enough that it was the three freckles below her left ear that were his favourite part of her body - not her legs, breasts, or lips. It wasn't enough that his favourite memory of their time together was the rainy afternoon they had spent in his room, not fooling around, just hanging out. It wasn't enough that he had barely even looked at another girl in their six months apart.

None of it was enough, because it didn't compare to all the bad.

It especially didn't compare to what he had accused her of with Danny Harris.

"You can't even tell me why?" she asked, hurt evident in her voice.

He opened his mouth and closed it again. Even if he did come up with the perfect thing to say, it wouldn't even matter. He might say something to make up for all the shit he had pulled over the last two years, but it wouldn't be enough to keep her there. Nothing would be enough because she wanted to leave. She didn't want to stay. She didn't love him anymore.

He licked his lips, heart ready to burst out of his chest. "I don't want you to go because I love you."

Kathy looked like he had felt moments ago - at a complete loss for words. Her eyes lowered while her hands twisted nervously in front of her, and all Two-Bit could do was wait.

And it was the worst damn wait of his life. She was frowning at the floor, Dave was frowning at him, and Anna was frowning at Kathy. Finally - finally - she looked at him, frown gone, eyes clear.

"You accused me of cheating on you," she said, voice low and calm.

Shame washed over him. "I know."

"You weren't around when -" she threw a glance at her brother "- when I really needed you."

He nodded, because it was true. "I know."

"You were really, really horrible to me," she said, voice cracking.

There was nothing he could say to that. He couldn't disagree because it was true, and he couldn't agree because he hated himself for it.

"Why are you doing this? You've spent months and months using me as nothing more than someone to screw, not even attempting to make up for what you did. Why are you doing this now?"

"Because I don't want you to leave. I don't wanna lose you, Kathy. I fucking love you."

"You've had so much time, Two-Bit - not just the last two weeks, but all those months - to say this, but you're only saying it now, now that I'm leaving." She shook her head. "What is it you really want from me?"

He stepped forward again, stopping right in front of her. "I want you, beautiful."

His voice was low, as he stared down at her. He slowly lifted his hand, tracing a finger over her cheek and letting his gaze rake over her face. He was willing her to stay - silently pleading with her - but he wasn't going to take the chance of not memorizing her face on the off chance she left.

"That's my bus," she whispered as a call crackled out over the speakers.

He ignored her, leaning down and pressing his lips softly against hers. Her eyes fluttered shut, be he continued watching her, wanting it all etched into him. She was going to stay - she had to stay - but he wasn't a mind reader, and there was a slim chance he could be wrong.

"Please," he said softly. "Don't leave me."

She licked her lips, looking for all the world like it was the hardest decision of her life when it really shouldn't have been. She should have just agreed. She should have just thrown herself into him arms. She should have just wanted to stay.

Instead, she stepped back. And back again. Tearing herself away from him.

"You don't love me," she said, everything about her radiating with bitterness.

"I do. I love you." He had never said it often enough, but she had always known. Surely she had always known. She had to have known.

She stepped away and picked up her bag. Turning her back to him she hugged her brother, promising to call home when she arrived in the city. Turning again, she hugged Anna, apologising for something Two-Bit couldn't hear because of the sudden buzzing in his ears.

She didn't look back at him as she turned and made her way to the double doors leading outside, but he wasn't ready to give up.

"Kathy."

She looked up at him and shook her head. "You don't love me. You think you love me, but you just don't like the idea of not having me around anymore. I've been at your beck and call for too long now, and the idea of it ending is what you don't like. I'm done. I'm going." She looked away. "You're too late, Two-Bit."

Then she had gone, just like she had said she was going to.

And now, hours later, it still hurt as much as it had then. Hell, it hurt more than it had then and he hated it. He hated her.

Fuck, but he loved her so much.

Anna had been pretty good to him, considering she had recently been through the same thing.

"Did you really think she'd stay?" she asked him, standing next to him, and watching Kathy's bus turn the corner and leave their sight.

He shrugged, not quite trusting his voice. He wasn't about to cry - he refused to let that happen - but he wasn't sure anything would come out if he opened his mouth.

"I did," she continued.

Her words seemed to clear his throat and he looked at her. "You did?"

"I really did."

"Why?"

"'Cause we had a fight a few weeks ago and …" She shrugged. "I dunno, I thought she realised how I felt. I thought she realised how much it hurt to have the person you love leave you. No matter how much they've hurt you in the past."

He remembered watching her and Steve slow dance in his near empty living room the night before Steve left. It had just been the two of them, as if no one else in the house mattered or even existed. Anna had to know that when Steve came back, he would be coming back to her. It didn't matter what had or hadn't happened between the two of them this last year; they loved each other and there would be no keeping them apart once he got back.

Kathy on the other hand … well, if he hadn't known before he sure knew now. She didn't love him. If she ever came back, it wouldn't be to him.

Of course, that was when he had realised that if Kathy didn't come back, it would probably be by choice, not because she had been killed in a war. Instead, he told Anna the one thing that was different and wouldn't cause her to burst into tears.

"Steve didn't have a choice about leavin', kid. You know he would've stayed if he could've."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"And he'll be back."

She gave him a grin and he looked at her properly, only then noticing how pale she looked.

"Of course he will," she said.

He had given her a ride home after that and they hadn't said much else. It didn't matter, though; he was hardly up for conversation.

Reaching across the table, he grabbed at the bottle of beer, uncapped it, and downed what he could without choking. Things weren't meant to go this way. If things were right in the world, Steve would be sitting there with him, slowly drinking along just to make him feel better. Or, if things were really fucking perfect, he wouldn't even be drinking because Kathy would still be there, and Steve would be off somewhere with his girl.

If he had his way, he'd be in his bedroom, in his bed, inside his girl. He'd be touching her, tasting her, kissing her. He missed kissing her so much.

Swirling the dregs of the beer, he looked at it long and hard before tipping the bottle back and claiming it. He didn't even think about whether or not to have the next drink as he reached for the box, pulling a bottle out and opening it.

He looked at the clock again as he took another long drink. It was late - much later than what he had thought - and he realised that thinking about things, thinking about all the bullshit, really did make time go faster. Or maybe it was the beer. He didn't care either way; he was just glad that time was moving again.

Because, the quicker time moved on, the sooner Steve would be home, and the quicker time moved on, the sooner he'd get over the achy feeling in his chest and stop hurting over Kathy.

Forever, a word that we could say together,
It could change if you want for the better,
Just tug on my shirt and lay down next to me.

A/N: The end! Beta'd by Sam. Thanks to those who have read this. I know it's short and not so sweet, but my main goal in writing this was to show what happened to Two-Bit and Kathy after Sway. Hope you all enjoyed it ... despite the lack of closure ;)