Disc: don't own Jonathan, Eddie, or Gotham.

Jonathan Crane sighed and stepped back to observe his handiwork.

Since the Prince of Puzzles had left, the Master of Fear had effectively unfeng-shuied his lab. He'd left the living room the way it was, however, with the small exception of moving the desk from the door. Because, though he would never admit it, the new arrangement was kind of nice. He was just setting a few more beakers in order when the door to lair opened and Edward Nygma stumbled in, looking much the worse for wear. "Oooow…." he mumbled as he sank into a chair. Jonathan raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong with you?"

The Riddler struggled to get a hand behind his head so he could massage his neck. "I really don't think I'm cut out for yoga…"

The Master of Fear smirked. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah…"Eddie nodded miserably. "I'm not too flexible." Jonathan was about to make another snide remark, but the Riddler looked so pained, he thought better of it. Shaking his head exasperatedly, the Master of Fear went to the kitchen and poured Eddie a cup of coffee. Ignoring the Riddler's refusal, he pressed it towards him. "It may be bad for you, but you'll feel better for it." Eddie sighed and took the cup, draining it. "I'm gonna go lie down…" he said, painfully getting up. Jonathan rolled his eyes. "I told you this whole 'healthy' thing was a bad idea…"

?X?X?X?X?X?X?X?X?

After the Riddler went to bed, Jonathan decided to turn in as well. It was getting late anyway and he was tired from rearranging the lair…again. Falling into bed, he fell asleep, only waking once under the same assumption from the night before that he'd heard a noise. Oh well, probably nothing….

X?X?X?X?X?X?X?X

The next morning, Jonathan went into the kitchen to find the Riddler, dressed in a brand new looking suit and eating a banana. The Master of Fear raised an eyebrow. "What's the occasion?" Eddie grinned.

"Well, I figured since I look so good, and I am now in great shape, I should go out a find someone who'll appreciate me a little more than you do." Jonathan rolled his eyes. "You're going hunting for a girlfriend?"

"Something like that." Eddie conceded, brushing a miniscule piece of lint from his tie. "I'm surprised they're not hunting for me."

"Oh, yes. What a shocker." Jonathan replied dryly.

The Riddler nodded absentmindedly, "It is, isn't it? Anyhow, I'm going to leave now. Can't keep the ladies waiting, now can we?"

"Of course not." said the Master of Fear, sarcasm practically dripping from his words. The Riddler grabbed his hat and cane before flinging the door open with a flourish.

"The women! They love me!"

~Two Hours Later~

"The women! They hate me!" Eddie sobbed between spoonfuls of ice-cream. "Why do they hate me? I mean, who wouldn't want some of this?" Jonathan Crane sighed and handed the Riddler a tissue. "It's alright, Eddie. I'm sure they don't all hate you…"

"Yes they do!" the Prince of Puzzles exclaimed. "They do, and I know it!" The Master of Fear rolled his eyes and grabbed another tissue. "How do you 'know'? Did they outright tell you?"

The Riddler paused his tirade, a spoonful of ice-cream half way to his mouth. "…no…" he sniffled finally.

"Well, there you go then!" Jonathan said triumphantly. "They don't all hate you."

Eddie looked at him for a minute, his lower lip quivering. "B-b-but they might…and I just don't knoooo-oooow!" Abandoning his ice-cream, the Riddler put his head down on the table and wrapped his arms around it, shoulders shaking with melodramatic sobs. "I just wanted people to like me…I dyed my hair…and got a facial…and learned feng-shui…and yoga…and I even ate those stupid health foods….and what have I got to show for it?" -He sat up-"Nothing! Nothing at all! Ohh…" -he put his head back down on his arms and looked disconsolately up at the Master of Fear. "What's the meaning of it all?"

Jonathan folded his arms and stared back at him. "'The meaning of it all' is that you've been trying to be something you're not, and that you need to stop and be yourself because if you don't you're going to end up like this for the rest of your life!"

Eddie blinked and stared dumfounded at Jonathan. "You think?"

"I know."

The Prince of Puzzles slowly sat up and wiped ice-cream of his cheek with the back of his hand. Then he looked at the Master of Fear and grinned. "You know something, Jonathan? You're right! Why was I trying to better myself when I'm already the best?"

The Scarecrow raised an eyebrow. "Well, I…"

"I'm great! Awesome! Why would I stoop to try to get 'better' when I am the ultimate?"

"That's not…"

"Thanks, Jonathan!" Eddie exclaimed, throwing his arms around the Master of Fear and squeezing tightly.

Jonathan sighed and patted the Riddler's shoulder. "Yes, yes…please let go of me."

Eddie grinned and let go. Jonathan got up and went to the refrigerator. "Now that that's over with, I'm going to have lunch…hey, where's the rest of the pizza?"

The Riddler blinked innocently. "What pizza?"

"Eddie, there were five slices in here. Now there's only one, and I know I didn't eat anymore. Where are they?"

Eddie tugged nervously at his collar. "Uuuuh…well….My…umm…healthy diet didn't really extend to after midnight…"

Jonathan smirked. So that was what had woken him up the past few nights. Pulling out the plate, he offered the last piece to the Riddler. "Want it?"

Eddie grinned and accepted the pizza. "Thanks, Jonathan."

Author's note: Well, folks, I do believe this is the end for this piece! Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D