A/N: Wow, it's been a long journey. Yet, it's finally over. I hope this was angsty especially towards the end. I wanted this story to be a 2 parter but since this fic wasn't as popular as I wanted it to be, I just lost interest for it but I know I wanted to finish this because I never leaver storied unfinished.

I'm just scared I didn't fulfil this story the best I could but oh well. I started this younger than I am now and learned a lot along the years. I also I was stuck between wanting to let Rocky die or let her live but it's whatever now.

Thanks to those that stuck with it. I really appreciated every review. I hope you enjoy the last of this fic. Byyyeeee.

xSJA

Pieces

Maybe it was because she could visibly see and feel the sadness and pain in her loved ones eyes that after they had to go home (reluctantly of course) she cried for two hours straight.

Her nurse, a pretty, thin, black hair lady that was always smiling, talked to her and said things like, "It's alright," "Crying it out is good," "It's OK."

But it wasn't alright, especially with this tube that was that was stuck into her arm, pumping her with things that she has deprived her body from for so long. It wasn't OK. Until she could find a way to let them disconnect her from whatever this was. But they wouldn't. No matter how hard she lied they still saw past her thin skin, brittle nails and bloodshot eyes.

It took Rocky a whole day to wrap her arm in the correct position above her head to keep the fluids from going into her body. Her left arm had to stay in a raised position with the tube wrapped securely around her hand.

This is where your will power comes in.

She stayed like that for three days straight until her arm fell.

On the fourth day she just decided to rip the tube clean from her body, disconnecting it from her arm. Clear fluids spilled out a bit and her heart started racing. Before she could calm herself down the nurse had already made it into the room, slipped the tube back in the arm of a very reluctant Rocky, took her vitals then left again.

6 hours later Rocky pulled out the tube again and refused to let anyone put it back in.

Rocky wonders how much of life her friends and families are wasting with her now. Forcing themselves to smile in front of her when she knows that could be doing anything else with their lives.

CeCe tells her about her boyfriend when it's only them in the room. She always smiles and laughs fake laughs in hopes to get Rocky to laugh too. But Rocky never laughs… She just looks away and counts her heart beat.

Ty tells her about this new dance move he's been trying to get for weeks and promises to show her once she's better.

Her father says nothing, her mother blinks away tears from her brown eyes as she wipes the hair from her daughter's forehead and tells her not to give the nurses a hard time while she presses a warm kiss on her forehead. It felt nothing like Luke's wet kiss from almost a week ago.

This makes Rocky so nauseous she dry heaves for thirty minutes after they leave.

It took her 8 days of lying limp in a hospital bed and since then she's gained three pounds. Five days later of her trying to counteract that and she tries to lose five more pounds. She's down two from refusing to keep the tube connected for more than five minutes. Soon they will stick a real feeding tube down her throat that she won't be able to pull out and where would she be then. She just needed to drop the right amount of weight before the doctors would ask her parents what they wanted to do with her. She knew there were only one way to be free.

When Thursday rolled around, Rocky saw a familiar voice rounding the corner to her room. And in he walked in with the nurse and a tray full of hospital food. Right, feeding time for the whale, she thought.

They started her back on liquids and mushy solids.

The nurse placed the food in front of her and with a light gloved hand she told Rocky, "Why don't you try some this time, please?" And before she knew it she was left alone with Luke's piercing eyes.

She couldn't even bring herself to remember what applesauces or mashed potatoes tasted like. She could only remember it being sweet or salty and new that if she was to eat it now it would make her vomit.

The devil himself visits her at times. Luke is his fake name.

"So… how you feeling?" No response. "Oh, silent treatment huh? I actually like that because any other time you talk too damn much." Rocky glared at him then, she could see the playfulness written on his lips.

"Uhm, they've missed you, y'know… the other models, they wanted to come but I said it was best for you to have your space."

Have you missed me? She thought, no that's wrong, he can't miss me. He's the reason I'm here. All because he made an acquisition that I am now paying for.

"You should eat," he says.

She looks down at the food. I hate hospital food… or at least, I think I do.

"So you've decided, y'know to die," He looks past her now but she can still see the anger in his eyes. "Why can't you just tell them, that they are wasting you their time. Goodness, look at yourself, you're fucking dying!"

He yells at her and that makes her close her eyes, her heartbeats a mile a minute and she tries to calm herself down. Her lips are so dry and it's been days since she has opened them that they crack when she winces. There's a rush in her ears before her nurse re-enters, trying to calm Rocky down, but then she passes out.

She's asleep for a whole day and when she sees her nurse she tells her she doesn't want Luke visiting anymore. Her nurse says OK and she's glad she can finally control something again. "Nurse… am I dying?" but she realizes that she was imagining things because when she blinks, there is no nurse in the room with her. She concludes, she is in fact dying and she doesn't know whether to be happy or sad about that.

All she knows is that, dead girls are skinniest.

When she has gained five more pounds, ten in total, she is a finally able to leave. Rocky has never been so long, 2 months exact, without using her legs that she tumbles the very first time. However her nurse is there to help her in a wheelchair.

They had attached a tube that goes up her arm, through her nose. Another tube that is supposed to pump vitamins into her body.

A freak.

She looks like a freak.

She spends the next 3 days in her room dropping tears in the food that they bring her.

Her mother stays with her saying she won't leave until she is better. Rocky just wants to get over this constant need to cry and vomit so she can get back in the studio.

It takes her 6 weeks but she gains so much weight she is back at 115. As she lies in her bed at night, they have the door opened half way so that she is not finding ways to expel food or exercise without them knowing. She hears them talk about an inpatient program that may have an available bed for her soon.

It's back in Illinois. 45 minutes away from Chicago so her mom can reach her just incase. She hates that it's come to this. Why can't I just fucking eat! She thought to herself, shutting her eyes so tight she sees static spots. She rubs her hands against her hip bones, slowly fading into fat. Her former self is starting to swallow her better self whole.

She has the urge to call Luke but she shuts her eyes again and tries to forget him. It doesn't work so she swallows four sleeping pills and she's out in not time.

They pack her bags for her, her mom, her aunt, and even Sasha helps pack while she just lays in bed. Heart beating so fast she can feel it. Red rimmed eyes, puffy from tears. Life as she knows it is over.

She wears baggy sweats and an oversized hoodie the day she has to leave. She half wanted Luke to be at the airport like the first time she met him but she knows that he won't be. She tries her best to escape the press while keeping her emotions locked.

She fails and gets caught crying. Flipping everyone one, a nice skinny middle finger.

6 months later

"They won't let me be a vegetarian, that's the hardest part. Other than that, I'm fine, I'm happy and I'm better. Completely better." She shines a smile. All her mechanic movements showing her happiness.

"I'm just happy that you are getting better. I really missed my best friend and I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you." CeCe says, laying her hand softly on top of Rocky's.

"It's fine. We were away. We had lives to live and I'm glad you were happy." She looks down and slides her fries across her plate. Outpatient was a new experience. She was released at 135 pounds. A few more than her original weight but she kept telling herself that it was fine. She needed the weight.

She did not eat the fries on her plate however, still uncomfortable eating in public and in front of certain people like her friends or her brother.

"You know you can talk to me right, honestly."

Rocky looks at her best friend, eyes shining with moisture. If she said what she really felt then the dam would surely break and she doesn't have it in her to comfort others when she is still working on herself.

"It's nothing I can't handle," she began, "It's just weird being out. The people, the cameras. Sometimes I miss the hospital. It's the only place I really fit y'know? I smell some of my old stuff and I feel like I still smell like Rosewood Clinic. It's just… fresh I guess. But I'll get used to it."

After a while longer CeCe realizes that Rocky is tired yet she doesn't want to say it. She knows she isn't allowed to let her get away without eating almost everything on her plate but the way she smiles at CeCe, she lets it go.

"Let's get outta here, we can watch movies all night like we used to. Have an official coming out party!" CeCe said.

"Wait, I meant, coming out of treatment not-"

Rocky laughed, the first real one in a while and she liked the way it sounded and the vibrations that tickled her throat, "It's fine, dork, let's go"

Maybe she won't ever get over her Anorexia. And maybe some days she still feels like dying. And maybe some days Ana sneaks into her mind while she's out shopping with her best friend or her mom has made her favorite meals.

And she still traces her scars because there are some days where she still feels like she is loved because she is.

And the days that she can eat a bunch of shit without thinking twice and accepts compliments.

And when she can pull her hair into ponytails and doesn't have to worry about it looking frail.

And when she still has a place for modeling and dancing and knows she can do both with confidence.

She'll be holding on.