Disclaimer: Thor/Avengers©Marvel
Warnings: Crack, shape-shifting shenanigans, and everyone reacting (or not) to said shenanigans.
Notes:Yet another work inspired by NorseKink on LJ. I couldn't resist the prompt and did it as a 4+1 story because I could get more outside reactions that way.

For the sake of this universe, Loki is an Avenger for reasons that I haven't written as yet. My stories tend to have backstories, and sometimes those never see the light of day. Suffice it to say, the central lineup of this version of the Avengers is Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Thor, and Loki.

Also, I'm going with movieverse stuff for everyone. That includes the Pyms as they were characterized in the animated Ultimate Avengers movies. Hank Pym is a jackass, but he's a jackass who loves his wife and god help you if you hurt her.

Betaed by Apollymi.

Hank Pym aka Giant Man aka Yellowjacket

Hank had never been the type to jump when startled. Hell, when one spent most of his time either very (very) small or very (very) tall, there wasn't a whole lot that could scare him.

Still, there was only one valid reaction a guy could have when a giant fucking snake literally fell on his head.

"Jesus Mary and Joseph!" he not-yelped, not-flailing and managing to toss said BFS off of himself. The snake somehow broke about five laws of physics to slow its abrupt flight and land on the back of Tony's chair. Tony didn't even flinch, either used to BFSes appearing out of nogoddamnwhere or too damn hung-over to care.

"L'ki g'off m'head."

Hank blinked, because that almost sounded like the not-so-amazing-before-his-third-cup-of-coffee Iron Man has called the BFS Loki. Which meant Tony must be really hung-over or still dead drunk.

It didn't help matters any - for Hank's sanity - that the BFS complied with the request.

"Good morning, my friends!" Thor boomed, entering the living room as if he was expecting fanfare. Tony grumbled... something in reply and the BFS lifted its head and hissed at the Asgardian.

"And good morning to you as well, dear brother."

Hank... was not hearing correctly this morning. That had to be it. "That's a big fucking snake."

Way to go, Captain Obvious, he immediately scolded himself. Those biology classes you took towards that Ph.D. really paid off.

Thor gave him a look that implied that Hank was about three fries short of a Happy Meal. "Aye, my brother Loki is currently a python," the Asgardian said slowly. "Apparently, limbs are boring today."

The BFS nodded in agreement, and Hank decided to let the matter drop. He knew when to quit while he was behind.

...maybe he should hit up SHIELD for more funding. If he was going to be spending any more time around Tony Stark's home aka the Avenger's west coast abode, he should at least be compensated for any shock caused by the weird-ass shape-shifting god of mischief.