"You're SOOOOO predictable," Roxanne Ritchi told Megamind.
"Oh really," said Megamind, swiveling over to a panel and pulling a lever. "Is THIS predictable?"
"Alligators, yess, I was thinking about it on the way over."
"I see. But I'll bet you never predicted-" he swiveled closer to her until they were eye to eye, nose to nose. "This!" he whispered, and kissed her, full on the lips, with tongue. No, Roxanne had most certainly NOT predicted this. She was so much in shock that she had no idea what to do, she couldn't move. And after a moment, she began to actually...Enjoy it. Minion, also, had not predicted this-Not even Megamind had planned it, really, and Megamind planned everything-at all, and he wasn't sure what to do. He was so surprised that he stumbled back, accidentally activating the two-way screens at the Metro Man Museum.
When he heard noises coming from the panel, Minion turned and tried desperately to turn the machine off, and in a panic, couldn't figure out which buttons turned it off.
In Metro City, the crowd was astounded and confused. What was their beloved reporter Roxanne Ritchi, supposed love interest to Metro Man, the city hero, doing kissing Megamind, the feared villain over the entire city? Was Megamind forcing her into it? But she seemed to be enjoying it! Could he be controlling her mind? But she didn't look under a spell, and there was no evidence of a helmet or chip. But the biggest question was; why was Megamind kissing Roxanne?
When Roxanne heard screams and outcries of confusion and horror, she suddenly realized what was going on, and she panicked. First she tried to pull away, but she was bound too tightly. Instead, she bit down hard on his tongue, and screamed for help when he leaped up.
Megamind yelled in pain as he clutched his tongue tenderly, and when he realized the screens were on, his blue complexion turned almost cyan, and all he could do was yell, "MINION!" And all Minion could do was yell,
"SIR!" And Roxanne screamed,
"METRO MAN!" Megamind rushed forward, pushing Minion out of the way and beginning to pound on the buttons. When it didn't work the first time, he looked into the camera and shouted, "You will all forget what you just saw, or rue the day-" Roxanne managed to kick her shoe right into Megamind's head, and he fell forward onto the panel, yelling at her, then trying again to turn off the screens. He regretted now having put on so many extra buttons for effects, and also not writing a manual to go with it.
Suddenly dozens of brainbots just randomly filtered into the room, doing nothing more than wandering around aimlessly and causing more confusion in the chaos. Minion was screaming at Roxanne, Roxanne was screaming for Metro Man, and Megamind was screaming at the panel and screen.
Meanwhile, in the city, it was a similar case of confusion. Not only were they confused about what they had seen, but Metro Man had flown off to save Roxanne, and now brainbots flew in all colors around the space, lasers shot out willy-nilly, a torrent of rain shot down from a strange machine on a nearby building, and black storm clouds hung low.
Megamind screamed again as Roxanne kicked her other shoe into Megamind's back, and feeling angry with the whole thing, he just walked over and pulled the screen, panel and all, right from the wall. The things in the city went dead, and for a moment, Megamind was the calmest one in the room. Then the wall burst open, and Metro Man stood in the gap. He lunged at Megamind, who dodged and held up his hands. Minion stepped in front of him to protect his master, but Metro Man just threw him aside and grabbed Megamind up by the collar. He shut his eyes tight. This was not going to end well.

Megamind sat in his chair flicking through the channels in boredom. Two more life sentences. He sighed. That meant...90 total. But it didn't matter. Minion should be getting him out soon, and he had time to spare. A channel flicked on about Roxanne, and this time she wasn't the one asking questions. It immediately interested Megamind.
"...NO, there's nothing going on between Megamind and I. The only relationship we have is kidnappee-kidnapper."
"Are you sure that relationship in itself is not romantic?" a random reporter asked, shoving the microphone into her face.
"Yes!" Roxanne told him irately, shoving the microphone away.
"How does Metro Man feel about all this?" a blond woman asked, not even offering the device.
"I'm not sure he feels any way about it, and even if he did, it's not my business to disclose that!"
"What's it feel like, having your beau in prison with a universal record of 90 life sentence-" Suddenly the television flicked off, and Megamind turned to see Minion standing in the doorway, holding out his watch and the remote.
"Minion, you fantastic fish you!" Megamind cried, leaping up from his seat.
"Come on, sir, we're taking the invisible car. And I'm worried about you. We have to talk."

"I don't know why I did it," Megamind admitted to his friend while staring out the window. "I just did."
"I've never known you to be so impulsive Sir, especially in such an...Extreme way," Minion told him.
"I guess it was impulsive, Minion, but really, I've been planning it for years."
"What are you saying, sir?"
"I'm saying...That this is the perfect way to take down Metro Man! If we take down Roxanne's reputation, then Metro Man will be torn emotionally, wondering if his girlfriend is really having an affair with his arch nemesis, and when he's so weak he can't stand it anymore, then we'll strike with our newest work in progress, and win, and then, METROCITY SHALL BE OURS!" he cried, but his heart wasn't really in it. Minion smiled strangely at his master-friend.
"Yes sir, it's genius, I'm sorry for doubting you." But inside he wasn't smiling. He was worried.

"I don't see why you don't just get a restraining order," Beatrice told Roxanne, filing her nails. "You're a modern woman living in modern times."
"How can I expect Megamind to respect a court order when he can't even respect the law? It wouldn't be any use," she answered her friend, shuffling her papers.
"The longer you hold off on a restraining order, the more people think you've got something going on with Megamind."
"Not you, too!" Roxanne groaned, setting her papers aside.
"All I'm saying is that I saw what everyone else saw-and it looked like you were enjoying it as much as Megamind." Roxanne clutched her forehead.
"I'm going to go get some coffee," she said, and left the building without an invitation. She really needed to be alone right now. Roxanne didn't understand why she felt the way she did, confused, and irritated, and frustrated, on top of feeling angry. Why would Megamind do this? It was ruining her life!
Five years, they had played this game, and never once had he done something more terrifying or unpredictable. Not even turning the Atlantic Ocean to Jell-o measured up, and even he hadn't even predicted that outcome. Five years, and nothing like this had ever happened. So why was he doing it? Had he wanted to ruin her life? And where was he, anyway? Megamind had broken out of prison a good two weeks ago, and she still hadn't been kidnapped. He usually nabbed her within the first three days of breaking out, sometimes a few days after, but never more than a week. What was he planning?
Roxanne made it to the coffee shop and ordered something, she didn't really care what, just something to wake her up and clear her head, soothe her nerves. Roxanne sat beside a young man about her age when she received her order. She tried to strike up a conversation with him, but he scrunched up further behind the newspaper he was reading. And suddenly Roxanne realized he looked familiar.
"Bernard?" she asked, and the man tensed. "Is that you?"
"Yes," he said slowly, putting down the newspaper.
"I didn't know you read the Metro City Times, or came anywhere near here." She told him, glancing at the article he was reading-one about her and Megamind and Metro Man. Last she had heard he lived somewhere closer to the Museum. He smiled nervously and refused to look her in the eye, when she noticed something. "Look me in the eye," she told him, and he reluctantly made eye contact. When he did, she gasped and stumbled back, knocking over her stool and falling on the ground.
"Megamind!" she yelled, and turned, running from the scene. Megamind groaned and smacked his forehead. Just one day, one, without someone seeing him. Was it too much to ask for to get a decent cup of coffee without being noticed, or accused of something, or plagued by reporters or the police, or Metro Man...Just one? Shaking his head, Megamind, disguised as Bernard, who had walked in on him trying to install a bomb in the Metro Man Museum, stood, took his coffee and paper, and walked off. But before long he found a mob of reporters plaguing Roxanne.
He saw her run from them, and turn into an alley just as they turned the same corner she turned, so they continued straight on. Megamind walked down the street until he reached the alley Roxanne was hiding in, and slipped into it himself. Before she could react, Megamind sprayed her with the knockout-spray, and she was out cold.

"Ollo, Roxanne," Megamind said, sitting erect in his swivel chair, a red brainbot perched on his lap, as she awoke.
"That's, hello, Sir," Minion told him.
"Oh. Hello, Roxanne," he repeated in the correct fashion. "Like that?"
"Perfect, sir."
"What do you want with me, Megamind?" Roxanne demanded, and Megamind smiled.
"Just to know how things are going with you and your boyfriend," Megamind answered in an almost innocent way.
"You know very well Metro Man isn't my boyfriend!" Roxanne snapped.
"Oh, isn't he?" Megamind asked. "Well why don't we see how he reacts to-THIS!" he cried, pulling down a lever, and Roxanne screamed as she was jolted down a foot over a boiling tub of water, and Megamind smiled. "Yes, scream!" he commanded. It had been a long time since he had made her actually scream in terror. It felt good to be able to do that again. "Now why don't we see how Metro Man reacts to you hanging over your doom, and-" There was a sudden snap, and Roxanne screamed as she went plummeting downwards.
"MINION!" Megamind shouted.
"SIR!" he screamed back. Megamind had to work in only a second. Minion wasn't moving, and Roxanne was plummeting to her doom. Literally. He ripped off his cape, grabbing it by the spikes, and threw it down the hole in the floor that had opened up.
"HOLD ON!" he yelled, and watched as she grabbed desperately for the cape. After a moment of uncertainty, she hooked it in her hands, and Megamind slowly pulled her up as near the platform as he could, and reached for her hand. Reluctantly, she took it, and he hauled her up, over the ledge, and onto himself. They lay there gasping for breath, both in fear and exertion.
As Megamind and Roxanne hooked hands, Minion sighed in relief and leaned back against the wall, his hand finding a small red button he had forgotten was there. The two-way screens flashed on just as Roxanne collapsed on Megamind's chest, and Minion turned quickly to, again, try and turn the machine off before his friend and Miss Ritchi, or anyone nearby, noticed it. Though the panel was now less complicated, he still couldn't find the off button.
Megamind felt a weird warmth spreading through his chest as he felt her weight on him, not a pain, but a warmth, a lightness. When they had regained their breath, and weren't breathing so heavily, Megamind heard voices, shocked and excited, and looking up, he saw that the screens were on again. Pushing Roxanne off him, Megamind ran over to where Minion stood.
"I THOUGHT I DISMANTLED THIS THING!" he yelled.
"You installed a back up when you made it in case Metro Man trashed the originals!" Minion yelled back, still frantically trying to figure things out, while similar effects to last time blew out willy-nilly.
"GIVE, ME, THAT!" Megamind hollered, and behind him Roxanne screamed Metro Man's name. The brainbot that had been on Megamind's lap flew over, and when Megamind tried to slap in away, it bit down on his hand, and he screamed in pain. Minion grabbed it and it tried to bite him, but his steel hands were harder than its teeth, which bent.
With a quick motion, Megamind turned, grabbed the brainbot, and chucked it at the back-up screen, which shattered, and the lair was silent again. Not as much pandemonium this time, but only because it had happened a time before. Megamind leaned up against the wall.
"Spray or stick, Miss Ritchi?" Minion asked.
"Spray," she said quietly, and when she awoke, she was far from the lair, back in her own apartment, on the bed, with the covers pulled over her.
"Great, more for the public to gawk at," Megamind told Minion. "Everyone be talking-"
"Is talking, Sir."
"-About Roxanne and I already, and another accidental showing of fake passion will increase that."
"Didn't you say that was part of the new plan?" Minion asked. "Making Metro Man doubt Roxanne?"
"I suppose so," Megamind said, moping a little. "But next time we're labeling the buttons, and making it foolproof!" Megamind told his friend sternly and putting emphasis on the last part, and Minion nodded.
"Of course, Sir!"
"Now get Roxanne back to her apartment!"
"I'll be back in an hour!" Minion told him perkily.

When Roxanne awoke on her bed, she smiled. Minion had always been good at getting her back home, and in comfort, when a plan failed too soon, or Metro Man didn't show up for some reason or another. Megamind had tried to help once, but had ended up getting her head on the doorway on the way in, waking her up and causing a fight with Minion in the process. Then she sat up straight. Megamind!
Roxanne jumped out of bed and ran to her living room, turning on the TV and plunking herself anxiously on the couch.
"-And in summary of what we have so far, in case you've just walked in during the commercials," said the blonde reporter on the screen, "it seems obvious to everyone that there is something going on in Megamind's lair that the public hasn't been properly informed about. So far we have two sets of video feed, both seeming accidental-" They cut to a short clip of Megamind screaming at Minion and Minion at Megamind, brainbots swarming all around. "That give evidence to a romance involving our own Channel Five reporter, Roxanne Ritchi-" they cut to a picture of Roxanne, dressed in one of her favorite red work dresses, "-And Megamind, our city's prime villain." There was a mug shot of Megamind, dated two months ago, then screen footage of Roxanne and Megamind locked in a kiss, and then of Roxanne falling briefly on Megamind's chest.
"And today I'm asking, for this segment, for anyone who has evidence on this new and shocking development. Tune in today at three, five, and nine for Megawatch, now involving-" Roxanne shut off the TV and sunk down into the couch cushions. This couldn't be happening! That last one hadn't even been romantic at all. If Minion had pressed the button five seconds earlier than he did, Megamind might have a soft spot questioned, but it wouldn't have turned into this!
Her head ached again. The best she could hope for now was to just be swarmed by reporters asking about how it felt to be dating a superhero and a supervillain at the same time. She didn't even want to think about the worst...

Megamind burst through the doors to Roxanne's apartment. No one had challenged him so far, and they wouldn't, not if he could help it. Roxanne looked up, and smiled pleasantly. "Spray please," she told him. "The Forget-Me-Stick always gives me a migraine." But Megamind didn't pay any heed to her words. He grabbed her and pulled her up on her feet, forcing her to look him in the eye.
"Do you still think I'm predictable?" He asked fiercely, yelling it at her before clutching her to him and pressing his lips down hers...
Megamind shot up in her bed, sweating hard and still not understanding the dream. Minion stood over him, a worried look on his face. "Sir?" he whispered.
"What?" He asked, now also worried. Was there an intruder?
"You were talking in your sleep. I thought I should wake you."
"What was I saying?"
"You were saying Miss Ritchi's name, and asking if you were predictable..." Minion trailed off, and Megamind's cheeks turned purple. Luckily, Minion didn't see in the dim light.
"No matter," the villain said, throwing his covers aside and standing. "We have plans for today, Minion!"
"Are we using the new plan?" Minion asked.
"I think we'll save that for another time," Megamind decided. "I'd like to see how the old plan would have gone..."

Roxanne held her forehead in hand as she answered the questions the person on the phone was asking. Some reporter. It seemed all the reporters asked the same exact questions in the same exact order, but Roxanne listened carefully to each question before she answered it, just in case.
"Yes. No. Never. Once. That was most certainly not instigated by me. Of course not. Mhm. He was trying to save my life. Yes, really. Yes, I expect you to believe that. Yes, you can quote me on that, and while embarrassed, I'm sure he'd tell you the same thing. Well why don't you? He was looking for publicity and I was the only pretty newswoman on set at that particular time. Once, never, no yes. Yes. No. No. No. I said NO! I'm sorry, I have twelve more reporters on hold asking the same exact questions you are, getting the same exact answers you are, and at the end of the day, I still want to go home and have a life. Thank you and goodbye." Roxanne hung up.
"Coffee? Donuts? Milkshake?" Beatrice asked as she was about to leave the room.
"I'll take a vanilla."
"Latte?"
"Milkshake." Roxanne said, before Bea left the room and Roxanne picked up the phone again. Those four words were the first she had heard from Bea in days that didn't have anything to do with Megamind or Metro Man. Just as the reporter was asking the question about how Megamind came to chronically kidnapping her, the window-walls shattered into millions of pieces, and Roxanne hit the deck, diving under her desk for cover.
"There you are!" said a familiar voice as the desk was lifted from over Roxanne's head. It was Minion. "Sorry Miss Ritchi, we're all out of spray today. It'll have to be the stick."
"Can you make sure there's ice waiting when I come to?" Roxanne asked, looking up, and Minion nodded. "Then I'll live." There was an excruciating pain in her skull, and all was black.

"Well, well, well, Miss Ritchi, it seems we meet again," Megamind said smoothly as Roxanne opened her eyes. There was already ice melting on her goose-egg, and she was bound tightly to a chair in the center of the observatory. Again.
"Don't you ever get tired of using this thing?" Roxanne asked, and Megamind laughed.
"Oh, don't you know everything. Minion, the screens." Minion nodded and pressed the button on the newest panel. Nothing happened. He pressed it again, harder. Still nothing happened. "Minion, why isn't anything happening?" Megamind asked.
"It's stuck." Minion replied, and Megamind groaned. Roxanne couldn't help but be amused.
"So will I be going home again via Minion, or do you actually plan on contacting Metro Man this time?"
"Oh, you may not ever see Metro Man again after THIS, my FINEST plan of ALL!"
"Metro Man. I see. Can someone stamp my frequent kidnapping card?"
"You know very well Miss Ritchi-"
"Cameras are on!" Suddenly Megamind sat up straight and turned to face the camera, sliding over to his personal panel, which had never once been uprooted, and pressed a button that caused a dense fog to swirl in over the Metro Man Museum, then storm clouds to roll in. Lightning flashed. This day had been chosen because the museum had just had a new wing built on about Metro Man's childhood. Nearly everyone would be there.
"Ollo, Metrocity!" he greeted the crowd. "It seems I have once again captured your beloved Roxanne Ritchi."
"Hello!" she called from the background. "I could use a little help here!"
"Don't panic Roxxy, I'll be right there!" Metro Man called back to her.
"But first you'll have to find her!" Megamind laughed maniacally.
"We're in the abandoned observatory!" Roxanne called, and Megamind quickly cut off communications with her camera.
"No we're not!" He shouted. "Don't listen to her, she's crazy, she's-" Minion pressed the button to activate another camera as Metro Man zoomed off. It showed a blank, brown room, that looked a little similar to this one. There was a look in Megamind's eye that she didn't quite like.
Suddenly, Metro Man burst through the wall in the filmed room, the wall crumbling more than exploding, as though it had been poorly reconstructed and painted after being broken through before. Roxanne looked around the room, and fear clutched at her heart. Metro Man was in the observatory, just not this one, which meant...
"This isn't the real observatory!" she shouted.
"Correct!" Megamind yelled in a victorious way.
"You dastardly fiend!" Metro Man hollered.
"Any last words, Metro Man, Roxanne, before the world watches your demise?"
"You'll never win this game!" Roxanne told him. "Metro Man will always defeat you, and always save the day!" But the look on Metro Man's face said otherwise. It looked unsure, completely unsure and unconfident, insecure. Not like Metro Man at all. He looked about to say something when Minion pressed the button on their newest machine. He expected it to take time enough loading for Metro Man to say a few last words, but it didn't. The laser reflecting the sun shot off almost instantaneously, and the world erupted into bright, bright white. When it faded, and everyone could see again, there was nothing for a second.
Then Metro Man came crashing through the wall, landing right on top of Megamind, who screamed. Then the villain stood with a shriek and backed off, revealing a skeleton under Metro Man's cape. Metro Man was dead. Megamind had won!

"We won," Megamind said, almost as if he could never have dreamed it to be true. "We WON!" he said, gaining volume. "WE WON, WE WON!" he yelled, holding out his hands to Minion, then turning away from the hole in the wall and cackling in delight, hands raising up in victory.
"Oops, looks like I lost something," came a familiar voice, and Megamind screamed, falling over in fear. It was Metro Man! Megamind hadn't won at all! He was still alive! From the screen there were cheers and howls of delight, but in the lair, Roxanne could only glare at the cape-less hero in anger and disgust. There was a stupid, ridiculous smile on his conceited, moronic face, as if it was all so funny, all a big joke! But it wasn't!
Roxanne stood, ripping off her binds in the process and yelling in pure frustration and anger. "I can't believe you!" she hollered, wanting to rip his head off. "You let us all think that you were DEAD! And for what? For a few laughs? WELL I'M NOT LAUGHING! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! I thought Megamind had actually WON! For a minute, I thought that within the next HOUR, we were all going to be wearing mind control helmets and doing Megamind's bidding!
"I thought we might all die, or WANT to die, and then you fly back in, AND YOU'RE STILL ALIVE! You made me feel the greatest fear I've ever felt, you made me think all was lost, and for what? For a JOKE! WHAT is WRONG with you! I just can't believe you! You think you're so wonderful, so clever and witty and funny, but you AREN'T! You think everyone loves you, but they DON'T!" Megamind and Minion stood behind her, silent, unsure of what they should be doing. Metro Man looked hurt, and he looked at her in a sad, pathetic way.
"Does this-Does this mean we're through?" he asked, saying the last word in a small voice.
"THROUGH?" Roxanne asked, and laughed cruelly. "We were never together! I thought, of all people, you would know that! I see-I SAW you as a friend, or more over, an acquaintance, a protector, and you thought we were a couple? Well then I'd like to know just what you think of as dating!
"I never saw you when you weren't saving me, we never went on an actual date, and we only spoke when you were saving me or waiting for the police! HOW could you think we were DATING? There's more truth in the rumor that Megamind and I were dating! At least I KNOW something about him, at least I see him more than thrice a month, if that! Even when you aren't called, he's kidnapped me and had to send me home with Minion when his plan failed early! At least I know something about him!
"I know that Megamind is a complete dork, that he tries to be the baddest Villain ever, that he's kidnapped me 660 times as of today, that he's had twelve lairs and four fake lairs, and that he's really not that evil! I know nearly every inch of every one of his lairs, I can tell you which of his brainbots he loves best, I can tell you that Megamind would probably not EVER hurt me on purpose, if only because I'm a key playing piece in this game!
"And at least, on top of ALL THAT, there was even an INKLING of proof to the rumors we were dating! NO, it wasn't true, but at least the public could BACK UP THAT HYPOTHESIS! I've never said as much to you at one time as I have right now, and everyone, even you, thinks that we've been dating for all these years! Can you even tell me how many years we've been playing this game? Do you even keep count? I know Megamind does! He marks a calendar in his study!
"FIVE YEARS! FIVE YEARS, we've been playing this game, Metro Man, and I know more even about Minion than I know about you! And in the end, you know absolutely NOTHING about me, about who I am, how I spend my evenings, or who my friends are! And my guess is, that will NEVER change! Because you're such an egocentric, self-chauvinistic, narcissistic JERK, that you can't even look beyond yourself and think of anything that anyone else feels, and that STUNT, the one you JUST PULLED, That PROVES it! While you were laughing away in Metro-World, the rest of us were in a panic, and you don't even care about ANYTHING but a FAKE relationship ending, one with NO basis, NO truth, and NO possibility! MAYBE, if you could take the time to think about someone else once in a while, maybe THEN, in some other time, we COULD have had a relationship, but you don't even have time to do anything but wallow in a world of self-seclusion, and wonder which the public will adore more, you with a WHITE cape and GOLD stars, or a GOLD cape with WHITE stars!
"Minion, get the Forget-Me-Stick, I want to go home."
"Yes Miss Ritchi." Minion said, and gave her a quick rap to the head, causing her to crumple into a heap. "I'll be taking the invisible car, Sir." Minion said, turning and throwing the unconscious Roxanne over his shoulder.
There was silence before Megamind said, "Woow," And offered up his wrists. Metro Man must've been having a rough day, but Megamind didn't care, even as he was being rushed down back to his jail cell. He felt good. Today he had won a victory Metro Man had never even had a chance at. And it felt really, really good.

Roxanne looked up from her magazine as Megamind burst through her window, sending glass everywhere. "Roxanne!" he shouted, almost as if from far away, and he beckoned, and for some reason, Roxanne followed him, leaping out the window after him, and he caught her as she fell right onto his motorbike.
Then they were flying through the sky, far above Metro City, the wind whipping through her hair and whistling over Megamind's great bald head. She felt exhilarated, and suddenly everything was dark, and they were riding through space, far above the world, among the stars, and then he was turning to her.
"Roxanne," he said, his eyes burning, red, not green now, almost like flame, and she reached up, and not knowing why, she kissed him, and then she was falling, down, down, down, into the abyss, down, and far away Megamind was calling her name, "Roxanne! Roxanne!" But his voice grew dimmer and dimmer as he called, until there was a bright flash of white, and she was falling down into the whiteness of Metro Man's teeth, and he was shouting,
"ROXXIE! ROXXIE! ROXXIE!" And then they were gone, and the ground came closer, and she screamed and held out her hands to give her even one more second and-
Roxanne sat up screaming. When she calmed down enough, and thought back on the dream, she wondered at it. Why had she had it? What did it mean? Why had she been kissing Megamind? And what in the world was going on? Then she stood, quickly got dressed, and set out from her home at a quick pace. There was something she knew she had to do.

Megamind sat, flicking through the channels boredly, head resting on his knuckles as he stopped on the Megawatch channel. BLAH BLAH BLAH, still in jail, BLAH BLAH BLAH, gave himself up, BLAH BLAH BLAH, Roxanne Ritchi denies ever dating Metro Man OR Megamind, BLAH, BLAH, BLA-Suddenly the painted brick wall disintegrated before his very eyes, taking the TV with it, and he dove behind his chair on instinct, only to star over at Roxanne Ritchi, holding a laser gun with both hands and looking around with determination, and perhaps anger, in her blue eyes.
It was the same dream he had been having for the last four nights, always preceded by the other dream, about stomping up to her apartment. But this time it was different, because he had just woken up from this dream, and he didn't remember falling back to sleep, or having the other dream before this one started.
"Megamind!" she yelled, and he poked his head up over the chair. She had come to kill him, hadn't she, to kill him like Metro Man never had, and get it all over with. When she didn't move, she shouted over the sound of the fierce wind that whipped her hair about, "Come on, Minion is waiting!" Megamind could hardly believe his ears. Roxanne had come to break him out of prison!
He sprinted after her as she turned and ran, sliding to a stop and opening an invisible door before popping in, and he followed her into the back seat. "DRIVE!" she shouted, and Minion winced.
"You don't have to yell, Miss Ritchi; I'm right here and the invisible car is soundproof," he reminded her as he hit the gas, and they sped off into the night.
"Sorry," she apologized in a hushed tone, as if trying to make up for her formerly raised voice. "Do you have a separator for the back and front sections?" she asked, and Minion nodded.
"We used it that one time after we kidnapped you from that meeting in Kansas and got lost in the Desert," He reminded. Roxanne nodded. Both her and Megamind thought back on that occurrence. It had been a disaster. Minion had forgotten the Forget-Me-Stick and the spray, so they had to tie her up and gag her instead, Minion apologizing for the inconvenience the whole time, and then Megamind misread the map and they ended up lost in the desert. When they went to turn around, Megamind had realized they brought a map of Arkansas, not Kansas. Roxanne now remembered having the window rolled up, and feeling, for the first time in her life, actually alone and isolated. She had never been so totally alone, without friends or family, knowing that Metro Man didn't know where she was, not even having the constant knowledge at the back of her mind that Megamind and Minion might kidnap her at any moment, because they were right up in front of her. And for the first time in her life, Roxanne had heard silence. Complete and utter silence, the kind you didn't ever hear in the city, because there was always noise of one type or another.
Megamind remembered arguing with Minion over whose fault it was, and then over what they could do now, and then screaming about how they were going to die...When the dash popped open, and the correct map was right there in front of him. He was so glad then that Miss Ritchi hadn't heard all that, and just thinking about it made him flush purple.
Roxanne leaned forward and pressed the button on the back of the seat that she had seen Megamind press that day, and pulled back as it started rolling up. When it was completely up, and she was sure Minion couldn't hear them, Roxanne turned to Megamind.
"We have to talk," she said, and he nodded in agreement, though he wasn't sure why she thought they should talk. After all, it must've been important to have broken him out of jail when she could have just waited a few more days for Minion to do it, and save herself the trouble. "Megamind, I don't know why you kissed me a few weeks ago, I don't know why I responded, or rather, didn't respond immediately, and I have no idea why I never realized earlier how much I know about you. I think I know more about you and Minion than any other person, and I wouldn't doubt it if you knew me better than even I do. And I'd like some answers. So let's start simply: Why did you kiss me?" Megamind looked away. He couldn't come up with a plausible answer so quickly the way he had with Minion. She would see right past it, quicker than even Minion had.
"Because...Because I did," he said, still refusing to look her in the eye. He couldn't even comprehend his own feelings right then, how could she? And even if he could tell her, if he could tell her he thought he might love her, how could she ever understand? She wouldn't! She'd probably dive right out of the car and report that Minion and he had forced her into helping him break back out of prison, and they'd believe her, too. And then he'd go back to jail, and the cycle would begin again, but really, it would never be the same. Even now, after she had said all that to Metro Man, it would never be the same, and if he told her...
Roxanne didn't believe him. There was something he wasn't telling her, and she wanted to know what it was. But for now, she skipped to the next question she had. It was a reporter's trick, to periodically jump back to tougher questions, then continue on after there was no, or an insincere, answer.
"Why did you save me?" Roxanne asked.
"If you had fallen into the boiling water-"
"No, I don't mean that. I mean, why have you saved me every time something goes wrong, and my life is in peril, and Metro Man isn't there? Why have you saved my life repeatedly and never held it over my head or Metro Man's, and why haven't you had Minion go to the trouble of saving me instead of you? Those are all things villains who save a life would do, but you never have." Megamind just shrugged.
"I'm not like other villains. Regardless of what you think, I'm not as predictable as I seem," he told her, and Roxanne looked down.
"So why did you kiss me?"
"I just dod!" Megamind snapped.
"You mean did. And fine. I just have one more question to ask you. Look me in the eyes and tell me something," she ordered, turning him so he was forced to look her in the eye. "Why do you walk in my dreams?" Megamind sat, frozen. That was a question he just couldn't answer. He couldn't speak. But after ten minutes had passed, and Roxanne wasn't saying anything, he forced himself to say something.
"Why do you walk in mine?"

"What are you going to do, Miss Ritchi?" Minion asked as he carried her into the lab. "They have you on film busting him out of prison. You can't just go back out there and expect everything to be the same. Are you going to tell them we made you?" Roxanne shook her head.
"I'm tired of doing what everyone has expected me to do. I thought Megamind was so predictable, but really, I'm no better at it. For five years I've sat back and played the role of the damsel in distress, cracking the same sarcastic jokes and waiting for Metro Man to rescue me. I never did anything to break out of the state of things, I never did anything to try and spice things up, and in the end, Megamind was less predictable than I. If I frame you two it'll be the same old story."
"So how will you get out of this predicament?" Roxanne smiled.
"I probably won't. But I don't plan on 'getting away' with much anymore, now that I plan on being less predictable."
"How do you plan to do that?" Megamind asked. Roxanne turned and smiled up at him.
"Like this," she said, and kissed him, full on the lips, with tongue, and Megamind didn't know what to do. Nor did Minion, who backed up in surprise, putting his hands down to catch him and smacking his shoulder into the "on" button on the newest device they had installed, which instantly took control of every TV in Metro City and transmitted the imagery from the activated cameras. The only one on right now was the one showing the room they were in. Thousands of citizens gasped as their TVs flicked to the image of Roxanne Ritchi kissing Megamind, not the other way around, and when she pulled back, Roxanne turned to the camera's, where Minion was again searching desperately for the off button.
"Do you hear that Metrocity?" she asked, raising her voice and slipping her arm around Megamind's waist. "There's a new villainess in town, The Incredibly Daring Mistress of all Villainy, Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from Megamind's lair at-" she checked her watch- "10:04. You'll see us again soon, I've NO doubt, on Megawatch!" Roxanne the strode confidently over and pressed the "off" button, ending the transmission immediately. She turned and looked to Megamind.
"Am I predictable now?" she asked, and Megamind shook his head.
"No, not at all." His stare was almost vacant as Roxanne jumped up and hugged him. He couldn't believe this was happening.

Roxanne smiled. At last, she was the unpredictable one.

At last, she had seen the light.

Author Comments: OK, so, here's this! :D This is a little thing I wrote a few months ago. It isn't very well-written-it was only my second Megamind fic, and I have improved A LOT at writing since November-but I like the concept of it, and I did go back and edit. Also, another fanfic I wrote on dA is based off of this one-shot, sooo….Yeah. =P Enjoy! Also, if you're interested, here are the author comments from dA:

So what would have happened if Megamind had kissed Roxanne instead of following through with his plan for Metro Man? I got this idea after reading all the things on dA where Roxanne is saying, "SOOOO", and the caption reads, "KISS ME, or I'll say you're predictable", and the ones where Megamind kisses her and says, "Am I predictable now?" And I thank all of you with art like that for the inspiration. Megamind (c) DreamWorks, of course, and they are all greatly envied geniuses for thinking him up first. The story line, besides the first two or three lines, is, of course, mine, and I welcome comments and reviews. Enjoy! :D

Edit: I've decided to go back and look for theme songs for my stories, because I like the idea, and because I simply can. :D So the theme song is: I Make Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship. :D