Chapter 4

Sakura confused tried to control her disarray of emotions and to do as her Hokage commanded, but she could hardly focus through the tears on the figure ahead of her. But nothing could prepare her for the following words.

"Hey billboard brow" The male said endearingly.

-o-o-o- -

Later on in that same morning

Shikamaru and his team returned during early dawn. While the rest made their ways to the Hokage to report, Shikamaru decided to stop by Asuma's grave to pay his respects and to share a cigarette… well, the smoke. Even this early he could tell it was going to be a cloudy day. The skies were covered by a thick white blanket of genus cirrostratus and it smelled like rain.

He inhaled from the cig deeply, held it, before exhaling it. 'Hate this stuff.' But it was part of his self reflection process, a disgusting tradition in his daily resolution. He stared nonchalantly as the wisps of smoke took shape and the ashes were landing on the tombstone. He briefly debated about just letting the mess be. He knew Asuma would not care, but when his eyes closed an enraged blondie would pop in his mind to demand him to reconsider. A part of him could not get over how even in absence she still had an effect on him. Asuma would had chuckled at him if he had known.

Lately, it was far too easy to picture Ino getting mad at him just about everything. She was starting to get bossier than his mom, which was an accomplishment on its own. He started thinking about their latest argument and shook his head. Really, just why exactly did the women around him had to be so troublesome? He wondered if someone implanted a magnet in him. He scratched the back of his neck and walked the road to his family's land.

He knew she meant well, but she was taking Asuma's words too much to heart. After everything that happened, she should accept by now, that life was too short to be bothered with trivial things. He rather she focused on the obvious. Like her deteriorating taste in men. He did not even know what the deal was with Ino wanting to be around Sai lately. It didn't take a 200 IQ or a gay-dar for anybody to notice the guy was too obsessed with Naruto's dick.

Not that it mattered. Naruto would never give Sai the time of day, but what annoyed Shikamaru was how Ino would just walk herself right into these kinds of situations… a lot. As if she was purposely running into assholes to sabotage herself. He would tease her about it, if she wasn't so crushed each time. He hated seeing her hurt, but all he could do was try to cheer her up…and send her off to Sakura for some healing shopping. Which, was another one of his pet peeves but he knew better than to give her financial or love advice. Especially, when he couldn't own up to his own messed up feelings about her. 'Maybe I'm not the only one with a Troublesome magnet implant?' he wondered while seeing his house down the path.

He did kind of entertained himself sometimes when she was nagging at him wondering what would happen if he suddenly interrupted her with an unexpected physical reaction. Like a kiss. He estimated that it would take her 7 seconds to react. Unless she was in her period, then she would smack him in 5.

Heh, if he ever where to tell her the truth, she probably would hurt him. Or yell at him, for being lazy and not making up his mind. If only it were as simple as having to choose between the two blondes in his life. He grimaced at the thought and opened the door to his house.

As he took his shoes off, his mother called out his name. She sounded off, and he frowned at the choked up sound, and quickly went looking for her. "Mother?" he said a little alarmed before finding her in the living room, with a Kleenex box blowing her nose. When his mother saw him, it only caused a new fresh set of tears and sobbing to happen. It was difficult for Shikamaru to know what to do. The last time his mother had cried so much was when the Sandaime past away.

His stomach started sinking. "Mom, where is dad?" he asked concerned. She tried to respond but it got lost in her wails. Impatiently Shikamaru kneeled and took a hold of her shoulders. "Mom, I don't understand, I need you to calm down a little and tell me what is wrong." She struggled but tried to hold her breath for a bit, before she released and reached out with her hands to his shoulders. Her eyes watered again, as she caressed his cheek. "Oh Shikamaru, -sob-,your father is at the hospital with Inoichi-whimper- Inoichi's daughter…an accident-".

She did not get to finish before she found herself alone.

Thousands of scenarios ran through Shikamaru's head, but he didn't dare to think the worse. 'She probably tried one of Choji's failed recipes and got food poisoning, or probably had an allergic reaction during one of her experiments. Maybe she and Sakura were playing rough, and got her shoulder dislocate… again. Anything but…no, no- he wouldn't finish that. Fate was a bitch that loved to mess with him. He already lost too much too soon; the bitch shouldn't have the right to take someone precious from him now. It was a challenge but he tried to keep his head as clear as possible for the rest of the way.

When he made his way into the hospital hallway, he found a distraught Hinata, Kiba, and Choji in the waiting room. His father was also there covering his mouth in sadness. Ino's parents were missing. 'Just what the fuck is going on?' He thought as he felt more alarmed. If this was life playing him a scare prank it was going too far.

"Where is she?!" He headed towards his teammate while the rest of the group watched him wearily. Choji looked at him helplessly and Shikamaru shook his head. Hinata, who was being held by Kiba, was the one who spoke. "She went out last night, to get some ingredients…Tsunade-sama said, the road must have been slippery, she slipped down the hill and and pricked herself with the plant's poison."

'What?' Shikamaru looked at Choji in disbelief, but his friend instead of confirming had his fist against his mouth and shook his head. Shikamaru growled and grabbed his teammate by the shoulders. He shook him hard. Choji choked up and Shukaku tried to pry him off, but Shikamaru shrugged him away. "Choji…Don't…don't do this-" his voice half grunted half cracked, "don't act… like…" he broke off and stared at the floor trying to regain himself. "Please…"

A set of swinging doors caught his attention. All hope left him the moment he saw Ino's parents walking through the doors. Ino's mom stumbled and fell to her knees wailing and Inoichi bending down to hold her with shaking shoulders. Shikamaru disregarded his friends and father's calls when he dashed past the Yamanaka couple. As he ran checking each room, he collided against a hooded male, but the guy had stabilized him and prevented him from falling. "Hey Sh-, are you okay?"

Shikamaru disregarded him and kept looking into the other rooms until he saw Tsunade and Sakura talking in an empty space.

"Where is she?"

Sakura held her hands up trying to calm him down and took a step forward. "Shikamaru-"

Shikamaru's eyes caught a pair of medics rolling a table with a covered body into an elevator. He ran but missed the elevator doors and slams his fist against them before turning to the right and heading to the stairs, ignoring the kunoichi that was calling and chasing after him.

He had never been to the morgue, not even for Asuma, but he remembered Ino telling him about it. He shoved open the entrance door and catched the two medic assistants off guard. Surprised, they asked if he had authorization to be on the floor but he ignored them and headed for the waist -high metal table. The body underneath it seemed small in comparison to his. When he jerked the sheet away, his chest froze as he felt sucker punched.

Underneath was the lithe body of his blonde teammate. Her upper body was exposed as her purple top, fish net and bra had been ripped open and slumped against her shoulders. There were black blood veins bulging against from her sickening yellowish arm and running through the rest of her skin. There were bruises spread over her body, even against her full chest…Hinata's words about a fall flashed through him mind briefly. Shikamaru's cheeks flushed before his eyes darted for her ribs instead. She was even skinnier than he remembered. 'Fucking stupid diets…' She was paler but not by much yet. If it wasn't for the weird coloring on her left arm, and the stiffness of her shoulders, he would just have thought she was asleep. He lifted the covers over her chest and tucked them under her armpits. His eyes grew blurry as his shaking fingers trailed to her brow to also gently tuck the blonde bangs behind her right ear.

The confused medics were about to escort him out but Sakura, interrupted and asked them to give him some time.

Shikamaru touched her hand. Her body felt too cold at his touch, her chest too still, and she was so unnaturally quiet…it felt wrong and surreal. Like a mannequin or wax version of her. It did not do justice to her lively personality. Shikamaru sat up on the metal table, his thigh pressed against the side of her flat stomach. Then he brushed his fingers on the fresh scar on her cheek before he tapped the other side of her face with his hand.

"Ino… your limbs are looking fat, when you lay down like that." he said with eyes glued to her closed ones, praying for a small flutter or a frown, or a small snarl from her lips to scold him for being a jerk.

There was no response. He released her cheek and instead leaned a little closer. Shikamaru's breathing was becoming a little irregular and louder; a sharp contrast from the silence from Ino's body. This permanent silence didn't fit her. Even when Ino slept, it had been a private joke between Choji and Shikamaru that they would fall asleep to her soft snores. The silence will haunt him forever.

"You bitched… and nag at me about being lazy and you? –Sniff- Come on Ino… wake up…" At Sakura's sharp intake of breath and half-sob, Shikamaru's shoulder slumped a little more. "…please?" he begged.

He took her hand in his, only slightly rigid with rigor mortis beginning to take place. Shikamaru tried to massage her fingers to soften it a bit, wanting to pretend and deny a little longer. "You made Asuma a promise didn't you? You said… you would take care of me" his voice softened as the pitch rose. He closed his eyes briefly in grief. "…Ino"

He leaned in to press his forehead against hers and nuzzled against her cheek. He grimaced as a sob escaped his lips. He was slowly coming to terms that he would never feel her warmth or hear her obnoxious, endearing laugh again. Shikamaru's wet eyes opened to see one of his tears sliding down Ino's pale cheeks, as if she too was crying, for his loss. With his thumb he rubbed the trail dry. It didn't belong there; her happy glow was her best feature.

What he left unsaid…'Okagesama'. That pained him the most. He never told her how he felt - about her smile, about their arguments, about how he would bait her on purpose to get her on his case. He never got to tell her that she was wrong about her love theories. He never cared about her looks. Her vanity irritated him. What he loved were her clumsiness, her pretence to like clouds to spend time with him; her loyalty to Sakura despite their constant arguments. He didn't even get to argue about her love choices or say she deserved better or that he was sorry.

His head dropped on Ino's covered chest and pressed his ear against it. The lack of sound set him off in despair and he pulled back, in anger, to slap her face.

"Enough! This isn't funny, you fucking idiot! You know better! You knew better than to go off on your own, alone at night, why didn't you ask Sakura, Hinata or even fucking Sai along? Stupid way to die Ino! I am not visiting your tomb; I'm not going to pay any respects, because you are a fucking moron. For a blonde kunoichi that had all the fucking answers you couldn't even know something as common sense as that?" he jerked her limp body up and shook her shoulders as her head and long hair rolled back, leaving her barely purple lips barely parted before him. He forced his eyes close and shifted himself to cradle her against him as he cried silently. "I'm so..rry" he mumbled against her.

He used to hold her the same during training, when Ino would practice her Mind Body Switch Technique and leave Shikamaru guarding her body. Except he knew this time around, there would be no end to his worry, no sense of relief waiting for him, her light blue eyes would never meet his again as she gave her victory sign. Instead a pair of strong hands grabbed his arms.

"Shikamaru, please don't make it harder for yourself" He shook the hands off him and moved his head in denial. The female voice was all wrong. Sakura moved her hands and instead rubbed his back.

"I love her." He confessed softly.

"Shikamaru-"

"-isn't there anything, you or Tsunade can do" Shikamaru's voice was muffled as he had his lips against Ino's blonde tresses. The floral scent of her shampoo still lingered thought it was muddle with a musty mix. Even then Shikamaru wanted to immerse himself in it, if only to keep Ino with him longer.

"She's…gone," Sakura's voice pitched higher as she turned away. "We tried resuscitating the body, we even considered amputating her arm to prevent the poison from spreading but by then her organs had all shut down, it was just her shell left." Shikamaru shook his head and held on to Ino tighter…

"Shikamaru-"

"-Stop." He asked resigned. "I get it…. just…I need a…a moment." He begged and she paused before reluctantly agreeing to give him some space.

Sakura rubbed her arm, helplessly before nodding and turning around to the exit. She stopped, taken in by the ethereal beauty watching Shikamaru and Ino's corpse intently. If anybody would take in the presence's soft whispery silver tresses framing, a feminine face and blank aqua eyes, with parted rosy lips, they would doubt they were standing in the room with another male. It was hard for Sakura to accept the truth of who this was, even if it was beyond doubt. She walked further and touched the new presence's forearm gently. "We should go." The male's sight met hers and she closed her eyes, drained from witnessing the agony in this room. She interlaced her fingers with his hand and guided him back to the medical office.

Once alone again inside Tsunade's office, Sakura released their hands and sat at the edge of Tsunade's desk. Her jade hazel eyes met her male companion in an assertive manner. "Now what? You saw everyone's pain; could you reconsider this, Ino?"

"Don't call me that." The lower masculine vocals that spoke threw her off. "What's there to reconsider Sakura? You explained best how Ino's body is permanently gone. The Ino everyone cared for is dead."

Sakura glared at the blonde standing up. "The truth…You can tell them all the truth." The aqua eyes widen in surprise and anger as the male body straightened.

"Tell them what?" He walked to a mirror in the room. "Take a really good look at this face. This face, this body, belongs to Ino's murderer. His cum…" he made a face of pained disgust. "It's still in my corpse. That's the truth, and when they…it would still be over. It's not going to make my parents, Choji or Shikamaru feel any better. I will not be the face of their daughter, their teammate, their friend. I'll be the face of the man that licked her tears, while he fucking raped her as poison was flowing thru her blood! And to seal the deal …even if they knew… they would not be able to act, ask for justice or get closure. Do you want to force them to live with that curse?! I don't! If I have to have to see their eyes and know their thoughts…I can't… I won't! I rather be fucking dead!-"-Slap!- Both stood shocked at Sakura's red hand while the bubble gum girl eyes flowed with tears and her lower lip trembled.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Ino" she sobbed, while gasping for air. "It just- flashed in my mind you again, on that table. I…" Sakura hurl herself onto the boy's frame wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her face against his shoulder.

"I couldn't do anything…" She bites her lower lip "I tried so hard and couldn't save you… when they said-…when they covered your face…I lost my best friend." She wailed holding on tighter. "I'm sorry, I couldn't save you" She used the back of one hand to wipe the running tears and swallowed another sob while a pair of strong of shaking arms wrapped around her and caressed her lower back.