"You told me you loved me,
So why did you go away?"
-Taylor Swift
He whispered it softly, making every cell in my body dance with happiness.
"I love you."
He never actually pronounced my name when he said the three words, but they felt personal. They felt beautiful. They were for me. Ronald Weasley loved me. He told me so. Then why did he leave?
We were so special. Both of us. Us. I remember when every sentence of mine began with his name. I remember how when I spoke to him, he would kiss me. Each time, he got better. Each time it was less sloppy. Each time I felt sparks in every bone in my body, spiders crawling around my stomach. No, not spiders. He hated spiders. Never did he say it to me personally that he hated them, I just knew. The way he freaked out whenever he saw one but tried to play it cool.
Those afternoons we spent in the common room of the Gryffindor tower, sitting in front of the fireplace. I remember he would hold me in his arms and sometimes he would fall asleep. I would listen to his breathing and try to fall asleep myself, but he looked so angelic. I just wanted to watch him breathe in and breathe out peacefully as he dreamt. The fireplace always had gentle glow that reflected on his face and made his hair turn into fire.
He mumbled in his sleep. I tried to pretend I never heard him say anything. But I did always hear him say something, I just never could understand it. Sometimes it was about spiders, other times he seemed to say something else.
I found out what that was now. Before, I didn't know.
There was the night before he was poisoned. It was his birthday. I was waiting for him in the common room. He walked out, Harry Potter was with him. When I told him I had his present, he told me to get out of the way.
He had always been gentle. I was hurt as to why he pushed me away, telling me Harry would introduce him to some other girl. I stood there, watching him leave. Harry gave me a smirk. If this had been his idea of joke, it wasn't funny. I turned away. I wouldn't let Ron know I was mad.
I discovered he had been poisoned a while after it happened. I needed to see him, so I went. He was always asleep. Unless Hermione Granger was there.
I hated her.
I didn't know better.
I asked Harry why he never told me what happened to Ron. I had a right to know. To this day, I still stand on the fact that I had that right. I didn't know if Ron didn't want him to tell me or if Harry really did have a lot going on. Of course, I never would have expected it from Hermione. We never talked.
When he was out of the hospital wing, he didn't tell me. He started to take other routes, find ways to ignore me, avoid me. He would be late to Potions sometimes. One time, he didn't even show up at all. He would leave the class early, take off almost as fast as he ran in with Harry.
When I saw him coming out of the dormitory with Hermione Granger, I broke. I told him it was over, I yelled at him. What hurts the most was he never went after me, he never wanted me to be there with him. There wasn't any sort of hurt in his green eyes. Just surprise, shock. The kind you get when you know Snape is approaching you in class.
I cried that night. I cried so much that even Hermione tried to explain that Ron and her were not alone, but I wouldn't hear any of it. She gave up then.
The scars were still wide open when he brushed fake snow off of her. Before I knew it, I burst into tears.
Ron Weasley told me he loved me. When he said it, he meant it. To her.
When he kissed me, those lips he wanted were not mine. They were hers.
The one who wanted in his arms in front of the fireplace was not me. It was her.
Ron Weasley, as I had believed once, was not mine. I couldn't keep him in a little cage and pretend that he would not want to be with other birds. When he broke out of that jail, he flew and didn't want to be placed there ever again. When I yelled, I set him free. He took flight. He took that opportunity to know he was completely free. I broke the chain that was holding him. You can't keep a bird caged up.
Or, I guess, you can't expect a lion to be content staying caged up with an obsessive rangler.
Years passed and I heard that he married her. He married Hermione Granger. Almost too soon, I heard he had a girl. Then, he had a boy.
I was happy for him. The bird I had set free in bad terms was able to be where he wanted to be. Now, I came to the realization.
I can't help but think, though. I hope when he sits next to the fireplace, when he finds the old necklace I gave him, when he kisses, he thanks me.
Haven't you heard? The biggest joy to a teacher is to see the student surpass them.
I was going to take a whole different direction with this, but I sort of let the moment take me and it took me here. I wanted her to say at the end that she hoped he wished he stayed, but this direction seemed better. I might write one in Ron's POV, but I want to study his character a little more before I do that. Thoughts?