Hawke was restless. There was yet another social-event-of-the-year, dreadfully boring and pretentious party to attend tonight and there was no way she would show up sober. Every time she attended a party, one noble or another was trying to push their sons off on her. A few drinks and some stories with Varric at The Hanged Man ought to put her in a better mood. At least that way the evening will start off pleasantly enough that she might survive the pack of weaselly nobles tonight.

Hawke weaved her way through the streets of Lowtown, lost in thought. She was so distracted she found herself coming to an abrupt stop when she collided with something. Looking down, she realized it was none other than Merrill. She hadn't spent much time with the elf lately. Most of her time had been spent dealing with the growing tension between the mages and Templars. The last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to her elven friend. Between the constant battles and seemingly endless obligatory parties, she had little time to entertain her companions.

The rogue extended her hand, helping her friend up. Before she could offer an apology, the other woman spoke.

"Oh, Hawke I didn't see you there. Well of course I didn't see you. If I had, I'm sure I wouldn't have run right into you."

Myka held up her hand cutting off any further explanation, "It's fine Merrill, I wasn't watching where I was going either. No harm done."

"No, I'm not hurt, Hawke. I'm glad you aren't either."

"Where were you headed anyway, Merrill?" Hawke asked.

"Oh well, I was heading home, but I think I managed to get turned around again."

Hawke smiled down at her friend, "Yes, it would appear that way. Come on, I'll walk you home."

"I don't want to keep you from what you were doing. You've been very busy these days. I'm sure I can find my way…eventually."

Hawke threw an arm over the elf's shoulders, gently guiding her towards the Alienage. "No arguing. I haven't seen you in ages. Besides, I was just planning on killing time before attending another lovely party." Her tone making it clear she thought the party would be anything but lovely.

"Oh, I don't know. It sounds fun. I've never been to a party."

"Trust me, you're not missing anything. It's the same thing over and over. Everyone seems to have a son that I should drop everything for and marry." Hawke scoffed before continuing, "As if I'd ever consider marrying their slack jawed sons."

"Well maybe if you told them that you would prefer their daughters…" Myka laughed causing the mage to stop midsentence.

"That's assuming I'd actually want to marry their daughters, Merrill."

Merrill scratched her head in contemplation before responding, "Well, I just figured… I mean I've never seen you courting a man. There was just Isabela and all those other women you brought home. Naturally I thought you preferred, well... women."

"That may be, but I don't do courting. I don't do relationships, and I sure as hell don't do marriage. That is the last thing I want. My life is my own. I'm not about to get tied down to some noble only interested in my breeding."

"You miss her don't you?"

"Miss who?"

"Isabela of course. I miss her. She was always so nice to me. Always patient and understanding. She made time for me when nobody else would." Merrill trailed off, seemingly lost in thought.

Hawke smirked, "Well sure. I mean, we used to get in all kinds of trouble. Never a dull moment with her. That and the sex. You know, I still haven't met anyone that can match her stamina. But Merrill, she's gone. All we can do is move forward. There is no point thinking about it. Isabela is gone."

"You loved her!" Merrill blurted out before thinking to shield her comment.

Myka blinked rapidly in confusion, clearly thrown off by the others revelation. She didn't love Isabela. What they had was very basic and primal. Sure, she considered Isabela a close friend. When she was still in Kirkwall, it was her company Hawke sought the most. That wasn't love. They just understood each other. The pirate knew how to have fun and Myka was not about to deny herself that pleasure.

"Merrill," Hawke replayed calmly in order to make her point clear, "What Isabela and I had was not love."

Merrill didn't understand why Hawke and Isabela both insisted that what they had was not love. It was obvious to anyone with eyes, and maybe even some without, that they were crazy about each other. Maybe if they had been more upfront with each other Isabela wouldn't have left Kirkwall. She missed the pirate dearly. She didn't want to blame Hawke, but sometimes she couldn't help but think her selfishness was at fault.

"Well look at that… your house. It was great seeing you again Merrill. I should head back home. I need to get ready for this party." Hawke turned and fled from the other woman before she had a chance to reply.

Merrill sighed before opening the door to her home. Hawke really was a curious woman. She only wished there was something she could do to help her friend as Hawke had helped her numerous times before. For now, there really was nothing to be done about it. With that she stepped inside and shut the door. Heading towards her mirror, she decided she had her own troubles to worry about. With that in mind, she got back to work.

Aveline had had enough. Whether Hawke wanted to admit it or not, she was moping and Aveline was going to put a stop to it. It had been one whole year and the rogue was still being as evasive as ever. The warrior stormed into the house as soon as Bodhan opened the door. She hardly acknowledged the dwarfs greeting before rushing up the stairs in route to Hawkes room. She threw open the bedroom door not caring that she almost ripped it off its hinges.

"Enough is enough, Hawke!" Aveline was angry and she wasn't afraid to show it.

"Some people do like to sleep Aveline." Myka didn't know what her friend's problem was. The party the night before had been nothing but boring and uneventful. The only saving grace was the never ending supply of sweet red wine. Something Hawke made sure to take advantage of.

"It's almost noon! Not to mention you've been drinking…again."

"Well yes, that is what one tends to do at a party after all. And could you keep the noise down, that much drinking does have some unpleasant after-effects."

"Hawke, this is serious, Drinking isn't going to bring her back." Aveline replied softly.

The rogue sat up in bed, rubbing her temples in an attempt to soothe away the headache that seemed to be growing by the minute.

"What is it with everyone?" Myka replied angrily. "None of this has anything to do with Isabela. Trust me, if you had to attend even one of these parties, even you would be getting drunk."

"Are they really so bad?"

"Yes! If I'm lucky someone just needs my help locating their lost dog. Though more times than not, it's just a glorified dating service. If I want sex, I'll go to the Rose."

"There is more to life than sex. Love and marriage isn't as bad as you seem to believe it is."

Hawke sighed. No matter how many times she tried to explain it, Aveline never seemed to understand. She was convinced that if she just talked about how wonderful marriage was, Hawke would just up and change her mind.

"Look Aveline, I'm glad you found Donnic." Hawke smirked, "Though if I hadn't gotten involved, you'd still be sending him copper flowers."

"Funny." She retorted, though her expression said otherwise.

"Seriously, I appreciate your concern but there is nothing to be concerned about. I am the Champion of Kirkwall. I'm not meant to settle down and have a gaggle of kids. You found love and you're happy. I'm happy for you, but that's not me. It's not what I'm meant for."

"Fine, but drinking yourself to oblivion every night isn't the answer either. You're lonely, I understand that but…"

"I am not lonely," Hawke replied adamantly. "When I seek company, I can spend some time at the Rose. I feel like a parrot these days… Always repeating myself." Hawke said muttering the last to herself.

Aveline sighed, "What is it going to take for you to realize you're hurting yourself?"

"I'm fine, Aveline. Aside from a little boredom here and there, life is great."

"Clearly, I can't change your mind overnight."

"Or ever. Was there anything else you wanted, or did you just come here to lecture me?" As far as Hawke was concerned, this conversation was over.

"Actually, I was hoping you could accompany me to the Wounded Coast. There are some bandits that have been giving us problems. I'd rather not get the guard involved."

Hawke grinned. This was more like the Aveline she knew and loved. "I'll meet you downstairs in ten minutes."

Aveline knew she was not going to get through to Hawke today. It was obvious to everyone but Hawke just how much she had been hurting since the pirate left town. Though, truth be told, Aveline wasn't convinced acknowledgment on Hawke's part would be enough. The other woman truly believed she was not capable of love. Until she realized that she was, she would continue down this path of self-destruction.

Hawke was like the sister that Aveline never had. She really did have her best interest in mind. She was not Isabela's biggest fan, especially considering her role in the Qunari invasion, but even her 'relationship' with the pirate was preferable to watching Hawke get drunk every night and jump in bed with the first tolerably attractive woman she met. She just hoped in time, Hawke too realized that her life was worth more than she made of it.

The three days Hawke spent with Aveline hunting bandits in the Wounded Coast had worked wonders to lift her spirits. While she generally liked the hustle and bustle that was the city of Kirkwall, her duties as the Campion became too much for even her to handle. Standing at the front door to her mansion, she almost wished it had taken longer to ferret out and dispose of the bandits. With a sigh, she opened her front door and strolled inside.

As soon as Hawke stepped through the foyer, Bodhan caught her attention.

"A message just arrived for you not ten minutes ago." He stated cheerfully before placing said message in her outstretched hand. "A Templar delivered it."

"Oh, what now?" She replied testily. As if remembering her manners, she hastily added, "Thank you Bodhan."

Once Myka was bathed and changed she read the message, curious to see what the Templars wanted from her this time. To her surprise it was a response to a letter she had sent to Knight-Commander Meredith some weeks ago. She smiled when she saw her request had been approved. Without wasting any time she changed out of her house clothes and headed straight to the Gallows.

Hawke was stopped by a Templar when she reached the main gates leading up to the mages living quarters.

"You are not permitted to continue forward." The Templar stated.

"I'm here to see my sister, Bethany Hawke."

The Templars eyes widened slightly at that, "I'm sorry Serah, mages are not permitted to have visitors. Even if the visitor is the Champion."

"I beg to differ." Hawke replied with a smirk. Handing the letter she received earlier in the day she continues, "I happen to have permission from my good friend, Meredith. Now if you please, I'd like to see my sister."

The Templar paled slightly, "Right of course, right this way."

A few twists and turns later they arrived in a large grassy courtyard. Benches were placed evenly throughout the perimeter. In the center was a large fountain. Just another way to give the mages a false sense of security, Hawke thought to herself.

"Please, wait here. We'll have your sister brought out shortly." Before Hawke could reply, he was gone.

Hawke strolled around the courtyard before seating herself on the wide ledge of the fountain. She hadn't seen her sister since the day she battled the Arishok. They were able to speak briefly before storming the keep. After the duel, she was in no shape to see anyone. While they had been able to exchange letters, another perk that comes with the title of Champion, they had not seen each other face to face. The rogue was slightly nervous. While she could easily evade her friends, her sister was another matter entirely. Bethany had a way at dragging the truth out of her. Or, when Hawke was being particularly stubborn, her sister was still able to see what she wasn't saying. Still, Myka was looking forward to speaking to her sister face to face. She missed the easy relationship they once shared.

Fifteen minutes later, Hawke watched as Bethany approached. As soon as she was in reach, Myka enveloped her younger sister in a bone crushing hug.

"Maker it's good to see you again, Bethy"

"I missed you, Myka"

Hawke stepped back, holding her sister at arm's length. A slight smile graced the rogues face as she spoke. "You look good. They're treating you well I hope."

"Given the circumstances, yes. I'm able to teach children not to fear their gift. I'm helping them learn to control it. That alone makes it almost worth it."

Hawke stepped away from her sister, turning back to sit on the fountain once again. She looked up at her sister then staring into her eyes as if searching for the truth in her words. Sighing, she realized her sister really was content with her current situation. She took a bad situation and made the best of it. Hawke still blamed herself despite her sister's protests. Still, she was glad Bethany was able to look at the bright side.

"Good," Hawke said definitively. She didn't completely understand, but she wasn't about to question her sister… again.

Bethany scrunched her eyebrows together, concentrating on her sister's scar. "Anders wasn't able to heal that?" She hadn't seen her sister since the battle, and was surprised at the damage left in its wake.

"Oh he healed me. I mean I'm here to tell the story after all." Tracing her scar as she continued, "This is just a reminder of the fun I had playing with the Arishok."

"How can you smile at something like that?" and Hawke was smiling; a half smile was playing on her lips as she spoke to Bethany.

"It's served me well. Really, you wouldn't believe how many women find it irresistible."

Bethany frowned at her sister.

"It's a reminder more than anything. I use it to my advantage, but I know its cost. It's served me well thus far."

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm holding up well, all things considered, though I'm bored off my ass. But that's to be expected; I'm not getting into so much trouble anymore. Aveline is happy about that." Hawke mused.

Laughing lightly, Bethany replied, "You and Isabela are perfect for each other, you know. You're so much alike, it's not even funny. Still, I can't help but hate her a little. She betrayed you. All said and done, she used you to get what she wanted."

Hawke shrugged, "She came back."

"But she shouldn't have left in the first place!" Bethany responded exasperated.

"Why not? I told her she could take the relic. You truly think I expected her to hang around? It was her ass on the line, you know? Trust me, I was as surprised as anyone when she returned. I couldn't let the Arishok take her, not after what she did."

"I lived with you my whole life and yet there are times that I don't understand you."

"I did what had to be done."

"How long are you going to lie to yourself? I know you love each other."

"Bethany," Hawke warned.

"Don't Bethany me. You know as well as I do that you can't lie to me."

"Even if I did have feelings for her… and I'm not saying I do," Hawke hastily replied, "it doesn't mean anything. She is gone. We've both moved on. There is no point dwelling on the past and what we could have possibly had. It was just a disaster waiting to happen."

"Maybe, but I know you are not happy."

"I'm not unhappy. I'm just… bored." That is what it came down to. Hawke didn't know what to do with her free time. Since coming to Kirkwall she had someone to share her burdens with. Someone who wasn't afraid of getting in trouble, someone who enjoyed the thrill just as much as she did, who looked forward to hours of sex after the rush of the chase wore off. Try as she might, Hawke couldn't find anyone quite like that.

"Have you thought about seriously looking for someone else?"

Hawke scoffed, "No. I don't date or do the whole courtship… thing. And if you could only see how often some noble's son is thrown in my direction, you'd understand. I know you just have my best interests at heart, but really, I'm fine. Things aren't as bad as they might seem. I'm the Champion of Kirkwall. I have a purpose and that's all that matters."

A Templar approached and cleared his throat, "I'm sorry to interrupt, Champion, but your allotted visitation time is up."

Before Hawke could reply, most likely telling the Templar where he could shove his allotment and exactly how deep, Bethany placed a hand on her sister's shoulder, "It's okay Myk."

Hawke nodded her head in reluctant understanding, "It was nice seeing you again, sister."

Before the younger Hawke could reply, she found herself enveloped in a tight hug. Myka stepped back after a few moments and turned and walked away without saying another word.

Bethany sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Myka really was stubborn. She'd almost admitted that she did indeed have deeper feelings for Isabela. The mage couldn't help but think the realization came too late. She loved her sister and wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. However given their current circumstances, even she was beginning to think that may not be possible.