Getting Lucky

(January 1999)

Awareness crept slowly and painfully into the brain of Casey McCall. It was accompanied by a loud droning roar that surged in time with the sick feeling in his throat. He fought the onset of consciousness. Maybe if he could just get back to sleep, he'd feel better when he woke up the second time. But the roaring sound refused to go away and continued to drag him further and further from his state of blessed oblivion.

He shifted his body experimentally. A few more of his senses came online just in time to keep him from turning over and thudding onto the floor. He was on the couch in his office, judging from the feel of leather under his cheek, albeit with no memory of why he was here instead of in his bed at home. The sick feeling and the pounding in his head probably had something to do with it, though. Only one thing still puzzled him: the couch was much, much less roomy than he remembered it being. Although for all the help his memory was giving him now, they could well have replaced the office couch since the last time he had slept on it and he wouldn't have the slightest clue.

He moved again and this time managed to get his arm, which was in a very awkward position, to move a few inches as well. The awkwardness seemed to come from something large and solid under his arm, which was probably what was taking up all the extra space as well. He wished it would go away so he could roll over and stretch out, but when he poked at it, it simply wiggled a little in protest and then lay still again.

Wiggled?

Oh, sweet Jesus.

That explained the nagging feeling that he was at least half-naked. He was. Clothes in disarray, his skin still sticky and damp, curled up around another person, whose identity was currently unknown.

That could only mean one thing.

There was warm flesh under cool cotton fabric that moved aside easily under his hesitantly moving hand. He tried to get his eyes to open, but they seemed glued shut, and painfully so. With a slight groan, he gave up and snuggled back down. Whoever it was, she didn't seem to mind him being there, and he figured he was much better off just not moving for a little while. A little more sleep sure wouldn't hurt, either.

But the goddamn roaring just went on and on, getting louder and louder with every surge of sound. He was beginning to suspect that it might be something he ought to pay attention to, but he really didn't feel like it. With a sigh, he attempted to let his mind drift off again into its previous soft cotton fog. It was to no avail, however, since the question of who it was he was sprawled half- across was beginning to niggle at him.

Couldn't be Lisa, of course. They were divorced now, and they hadn't had sex in well over a year before that happened anyway.

Who else, then? Dana? It was possible, although he was fairly certain that he had too much professional respect for Dana to actually sleep with her, even if she had uncharacteristically made a move on him. Besides, his companion seemed a bit tall to be Dana.

Sally? God, he hoped not. He'd never hear the end of it from Danny, and he had to admit the idea made him just a little queasy himself, even if he didn't believe she was the handmaiden of Satan like Dan did. But whatever. If it was Sally, she hadn't lost any of her muscle tone since her basketball days, he'd give her credit for that. The waist beneath his one functioning arm was slim and hard, and he suspected he'd have no complaints about the rest of the body, either. If he could just move enough to feel it.

He smiled a little to himself. Whoever she was, he, Casey McCall, had done good. He'd gotten lucky. Finally. He couldn't wait to tell Danny.

The annoyingly loud sound was getting louder again. He wanted to shout to whomever was making it to shut the hell up. For a few moments, he considered the possibility that if he could just lift his head enough to actually do it, the resulting peace and quiet might be well worth the inevitable pain.

The noise was very, very loud. Then, it ceased altogether.

He sighed in satisfaction, since it meant he could enjoy his peace and quiet without shouting after all. But before sleep could overtake him again, the sound of a shocked gasp roused him again. Great, just what he needed. A witness. "Mr. Casey! Mr. Dan!" said the voice of the morning cleaning woman. Maria? Rosalita?

A groan and a sudden jerk from the person beside him interrupted his attempt to remember the name of the woman who had just walked in on him. It also allowed what she had actually said to penetrate his brain.

Mr. Dan?

His eyes flew open even as he and his companion both scrambled to sit up. He desperately struggled to clear his blurred vision enough to identify the other person. Finally, he managed to focus his gaze.

And found himself staring into the horrified eyes of Dan Rydell.

***

"I thought this was supposed to be the Thompson press conference," Dana remarked to no one in particular, staring up at the monitors in the main outer office of Sports Night.

"It is," Jeremy answered.

"No, it isn't," Dana said with exaggerated patience. "What I see there is a rerun of The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire. I'm quite certain of that much."

"I didn't say it was the Thompson press conference, I was merely agreeing with you that it was supposed to be the Thompson press conference," Jeremy said. Natalie, on the phone and seemingly on terminal hold, shot him a proud look that made Dana want to gag.

"Well, then since we agree that it's supposed to be the Thompson press conference, how about you telling me why it's not the Thompson press conference? How's that work for ya?"

"Satellite problems. The satellites are not working for us. We're getting the wrong signal for reasons I could elaborate on if you were inclined to hear it. Or, if you were not so inclined, I could just work on getting it fixed."

"I think I'll take option number two," Dana said pleasantly. "Natalie, are you at least on the phone with someone at Georgetown?"

Natalie nodded. "Kelly Kirkpatrick is there. I'm holding the line for her to get out of McDonough gym."

"Hey, did you guys all hear the news?" Elliot called as he and Kim came around the corner from the studio at top speed.

"That John Thompson is resigning from Georgetown?" Dana said, crossing her arms and trying not to get engrossed in the sitcom on the monitor above her. "Yeah, that's kind of why we're all here at 10am on a Friday morning."

"Not that news," Kim said dismissively, as if the resignation of one of most prominent coaches in college basketball was of no account next to what she and Elliot knew and the rest of them didn't.

Before she could prompt them to just spit it out, Elliot did. "Dan and Casey slept together last night."

The phone fell out of Natalie's hand. Jeremy seemed frozen in place, his eyes bugging out behind his glasses. Dana herself could not move a muscle and was certain her jaw was hanging open loosely. "Wh-what?" she managed to choke out after a moment. "Oh, I get it, you're having April Fool's Day a few months early, right?"

"No, it's for real," Kim said. "We were just talking to Laura, who was talking to Amy, who was talking to Maria the cleaning lady this morning. Apparently Maria went in to vacuum Casey and Dan's office and found them asleep on their couch, naked in each other's arms."

"What?" Natalie said, casting a shocked and almost angry look in Dana's direction. "That can't be true."

"But it is," Elliot said with the satisfaction of a gossip with a truly gory tidbit to chew over.

"And if you want my opinion, it's about time," Kim said with the exact same expression.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jeremy demanded. "Casey and Dan aren't...aren't...."

"What, gay?" Kim supplied. She seemed almost delighted with Jeremy's visible flinch at the word. "Well, Maria the cleaning woman would disagree with you."

"That's just...." Dana couldn't finish her sentence any more than Jeremy had. "I don't even know what that is, but I'm not sure I believe it yet."

"Oh, come on, people," Kim said in exasperation. "I can't be the only one who saw this coming."

"No, I think you are," Dana retorted. She shook her finger absently at Kim and paced restlessly around the desk she had been leaning against. Casey, with Dan? The concept was just impossible for her to wrap her mind around.

"Nope, I saw it coming, too," Elliot crowed.

"I mean, haven't you seen the way Danny looks at Casey?" Kim went on. "Like a starving man. And the way he barely lets Casey out of his sight?"

"And the way he keeps chasing off Sally whenever she makes a move on Casey," Elliot added.

Dana waved her hands helplessly. "That's just Danny. He's always been a mother hen with Casey. It doesn't mean...I mean, it doesn't mean that."

Kim tapped a pencil coyly against her cheek. "Maybe it just means that Dan was saving Casey for himself."

"Oh, come on!" Dana protested. "You really think Dan and Casey had sex in their office last night?"

"Dana!" Natalie hissed.

"No, I mean, think about that for a minute," Dana continued, waving Natalie off. "Can you really picture that? Dan and Casey? It's ridiculous."

"*Dana*!" Natalie repeated, this time yanking on Dana's arm until Dana reluctantly turned to her. "Dana!"

She followed Natalie's gaze and her stomach dropped down into her feet for the second time that morning. Standing at the entrance to the hallway was Dan - his face white and shocky, his eyes wide and bright. His hair was wet and touseled and he was wearing slacks and an untucked dress shirt that were obviously pilfered from wardrobe.

"Dan!" Dana said when she regained the power of speech. At that moment he also broke out from his spell and was gone in a few long strides down the hallway.

"Uh-oh," Kim said nervously.

"Great," Dana said to herself, slapping her palm against her forehead and glaring up at the relentlessly insouciant Will Smith who was frolicking across the screen in the place of the relentlessly dour John Thompson. All she had wanted was to see one lousy press conference. Was that too much to ask on a Friday morning? "Just great. Not a word of this to anyone else," she warned her staff sternly. "I don't want to hear so much as a whisper of it from any of you. Not even a peep."

She didn't wait for their muttered affirmatives. There was still work to be done, a show to be produced, and whatever Casey and Dan chose to do in their private time had no impact on that most basic of facts.

But for the first time since Elliot had blurted out his news, Dana believed it.

***

Casey had never been more uncomfortable in a chair at any time that he could remember. It wasn't the chair's fault, although personally he thought that the conference room furniture could stand to be replaced. Rather his discomfort stemmed almost entirely from the furtive glances he was getting from everyone else in the room. That and the absolute lack of glances from his silent, nearly motionless partner seated beside him.

His body's reaction to said partner was not helping either. He was wound tighter than a spring, and the longer he sat idle, the more he remembered about just how he had gotten into this predicament in the first place. With crystal clarity he recalled the first warm brush of breath against his face as he leaned forward to touch his lips to Danny's. He had never expected to respond to a man the way he was responding to Danny. A small shiver ran through him at the memory of how Dan's body had felt against his, of how skilled Dan's hands had been and how well Dan could kiss.

He bit his lip and looked down at his half-written script, then up at the conference room monitor. Small, brightly colored... things toddled around and burbled in baby-talk. They irritated Casey. He suspected they would irritate him even on a good day, but on a day like he was having today, they were a good deal more than he could stand. Before he could demand that someone shut off the TV screen, Isaac Jaffee strode into the room.

"Dana, why are there Teletubbies on half of my monitors?" he demanded as he took his seat.

"Jeremy says there's a satellite problem," Dana said from her seat across from Casey. She was looking at him every bit as much as Dan was not looking at him, and trying very badly to pretend she was doing no such thing. Casey sighed again. This was going to be even more difficult than he thought.

"And what does Jeremy say about getting the satellite problem fixed?" Isaac's voice did not deviate from its usual smooth baritone, but the look he was casting the hapless Jeremy made clear his annoyance that the problem had not already been fixed so as to save Isaac the indignity of having to comment on it.

"We're working on it," Jeremy said. "But don't worry, we've got tapes of the Thompson press conference being couriered up from DC, and we've gotten all the rest of our feeds switched onto other carriers."

"That's a relief, at least," Isaac said. "But why am I still watching the damn Teletubbies?"

Jeremy hastily jumped up and reached to switch off the monitor. "Sorry. I thought they might be cheerful and good for morale."

"Let me share with you something I've learned in my long, long broadcasting career," Isaac replied. "Small creatures of unidentifiable origin dancing around singing cheerful toddler songs have never and will never have any positive effect on office morale."

An appreciative chuckle went around the room as Jeremy mumbled an acknowledgment. Casey risked a sideways glance at Dan. Not even a hint of a smile. Dan was usually the first to laugh at anything Isaac said.

"You know, I read in the paper that the one with the purse is gay," Natalie commented off-handedly. Only when a stifling silence fell over the room did she blush and clap her hand over her mouth. "Oh, I'm sorry!"

"What are you looking at me for?" Dan snapped at her. Casey shifted in his chair again; at least Dan was speaking, even if it wasn't to him. Dan restlessly rearranged the papers in front of him, then turned to Isaac. "Can we get this meeting started, please?"

"I'd like nothing better," Isaac replied. He shot both Casey and Dan a shuttered look, then glanced around the table. "Now, what's the good word from Georgetown?"

"Thompson is stepping down for personal reasons, and they're giving Craig Esherick a contract through next season. Sounds like they're hoping Thompson will come back in another year or two." Jeremy rushed through his summary, then fell uncharacteristically silent. Casey felt like growling, but doubted that would help the tension level any. The only thing he knew for sure was that his blood pressure was rising steadily.

"It sounds like they've been planning this for quite a while," Isaac noted.

Jeremy nodded. "There wasn't much warning, until the university announced the press conference and they just came out with it." He stopped and swallowed. A few muffled nervous giggles scattered through the room, then faded.

Casey snapped.

Everyone jumped when he slammed his hand down on the table and stood up. He leaned over the table and glared at everyone within eyeshot. "All right, enough is enough. I'm sick and tired of this. You all want to know the dirt? Fine. Yes, Danny and I slept together last night. Yes, it was the first time. No, we aren't picking out curtains. Any other questions will just have to wait, because I'm not in the mood. Now, is it too much to ask for us to just do our jobs?"

The silence was deafening when he finished, and Casey realized that he had no idea what he had been expecting to happen next. He slowly sat down and risked another sidelong look at Dan. His partner was frozen in place, face ashen and jaw working convulsively, staring down at his notebook. Before anyone else could react, Dan jumped up and made for the door. His chair shot back against the glass wall and bounced off to hit Casey's just as Casey stood up again.

Isaac grabbed Casey's arm before he could head out the door after his partner. "Casey, let's talk. The rest of you, get to work. I mean it, this time." Casey keenly felt the eyes that were all focused on him, but was strangely grateful that at least they were staring openly now. He followed Isaac out without protest.

They were silent until they reached Isaac's office and Isaac motioned Casey to one of the chairs in front of his desk. "Sit." Casey obliged. He was trembling enough with suppressed adrenaline to make his knees shake, and sitting did not seem like an entirely bad idea. "All right. What the hell is going on here?"

"I can't tell you anything more than I just told everyone else," Casey answered. He felt a hint of sulkiness creep into his voice, but he was powerless to prevent it just as he had been powerless to prevent anything else that had happened that day.

"And that was good deal more than I wanted to hear in a production meeting," Isaac said. "This is a sports news show, not Ricki Lake."

"Maybe it's the satellite," Casey shot back. This time the sulk was unmistakable, but it almost felt good just to feel resentful and sorry for himself for a moment.

"Don't get smart-assed with me, young man," Isaac said. "It doesn't suit you and Danny's better at it."

"Sorry," Casey muttered, and almost meant it. None of this was Isaac's fault, and he had prided himself on not being a thorn in Isaac's side, as Dan occasionally was. At least, not since the last time he had an upheaval in his romantic life.

"I don't want an apology, Casey, I want an explanation. Or rather, I don't want one, but since you've decided to take your personal life into the public forum, I suppose I have to hear one." He paused for a while, but Casey had no idea where to even start. "I'm waiting."

"I don't know what kind of explanation I can give you, Isaac. I'm still not entirely sure why it happened."

"Let's start with the fundamentals. You slept with Dan last night. In your office."

"Yeah."

"The elaboration is your job, I should point out."

Casey sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "We got drunk after the show. I made a pass at him, one thing led to another, the next thing I know I'm waking up on the couch with him with the cleaning woman going into hysterics two feet away from us."

Isaac merely looked at him for a minute. "Casey, when I said I wanted the leftover New Year's champagne out of the kitchen by the end of the week, I didn't mean for the two of you to drink it all in one night." He waited until Casey forced out a tiny smile. "Now, I assume from the tension that hit me in the face when I walked into that room just now that you and Dan are having problems over this little indiscretion."

"He hates me, Isaac," Casey said glumly. He leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling. "He didn't want it, and now he hates me."

"I find that very hard to believe."

"It's true. He won't stay in the same room with me for more than a few minutes at a time, and he won't talk to me at all, not even about work. I found a list on my desk of all the stories I was supposed to take for the show tonight. People have been whispering about us all day, and I'm sure I didn't make things any easier when I lost it in the meeting there. I don't blame him for not even wanting to be seen with me right now. He probably thinks I'm a pod person."

"Have you tried to talk to him about what happened?"

"No," Casey admitted. "Not really."

"And why the hell not?"

Casey stood up and started to pace. "Isaac, do you know what the first thing I saw this morning was? Danny staring at me like I had just punched him or something. He looked me straight in the eye with this horrified look on his face and said, 'Jesus Christ, what the hell did we do?'"

Isaac was quiet for a moment. "And then?"

"Then? Then he pulled his clothes together and got the hell out of there as fast as he could. I didn't have a chance to say anything. And I was in shock myself. Believe me, this was as much a surprise to me as to anyone." He stopped short in front of Isaac's desk. "What do I do, Isaac? How do I fix it? Danny's my best friend. I couldn't live with it if our friendship was destroyed because after thirty-three years of heterosexuality I couldn't control my hormones around him."

"I think you need to talk to him."

"What?" Casey said in disbelief. "Didn't you hear what I just said? He doesn't want to talk to me!"

"And you just told me that you hadn't even tried."

He sat down again and buried his face in his hands. When he looked up, he could feel the tears welling in his eyes and blinked them back as hard as he could until they no longer threatened to spill over. "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to talk to him about something like this. I never expected this to happen. I have no idea what to say."

"Casey, there isn't much advice I can give you here. I've never encountered a situation like this either, and I have no idea what prompted you to pick last night to expand your sexual experience. But what I do know is that Danny loves you and cares about your friendship every bit as much as you do. And I'm sure that he has no better idea about what you're feeling than you do about him."

"I'm scared," Casey admitted softly. "I screwed up last night, I screwed up just now, and I don't want to screw up again."

Isaac smiled. "I suggest you take some time and do some hard thinking about this. Then talk to Danny. You'll work this out."

"Thanks, Isaac," Casey said gratefully. He stood up to go, but Isaac gestured for him to stop.

"One more thing."

"Yeah?"

"The next time you feel compelled to make an announcement of that sort, do it on your own time. I don't care what you do in your personal life, but keep it out of the office. I know that's hard to do in a situation like this, but try. I don't want to have another meeting fail as spectacularly as that one did."

Casey smiled a bit sheepishly. "I have a knack for disrupting meetings, don't I?"

"Just break the habit."

"Okay, I'll work on that. And thanks."

Isaac just shook his head and waved him away. "I'd say anytime, but I'd rather we didn't make a habit of chats like these."

Casey was fervent in his response as he paused in the doorway. "Trust me, Isaac, I feel exactly the same way."

***

When she finally found Dan hunched over his script in an almost inaccessible corner of the office suite, Dana sighed. This was turning out to be a rotten day.

The whispering had not stopped, of course, but then Dana had never really thought it would. She knew her crew and, while they were all highly skilled professionals who were very good at their jobs, when there was gossip to be had they resembled nothing more than junior high schoolgirls at lunch time. And this was very probably the juiciest piece of gossip they had ever gotten their teeth into. Fortunately, they were at least making an effort not to let her hear them, which was good because she still had no idea how to respond to the situation.

Casey and Dan? Kim and Elliot may have seen it coming, but she hadn't. And she had known both of them longer than anyone. For as long as they had known each other, in fact. And she had never seen it.

Natalie, of course, was still giving her those sympathetic looks. Dana really wished she would knock it off. She was fine with this, she honestly was. Okay, it was a little bit weird to think of Dan and Casey sleeping together, but if that's what made them happy, she was all for it. She had always wanted Casey to be happy. He had never really been happy with Lisa, and it had slowly destroyed Dana's own friendship with Casey's ex-wife. Dana had wondered occasionally if it was actually because she wanted Casey to be happy with her, instead, but she had always dismissed the thought before it took her somewhere she wasn't ready to go. She hoped now that it wasn't true; she would need to be strong to help them get through this. Whatever *this* was.

She stood there for a few minutes and watched Dan page almost angrily through his writing, crossing out whole paragraphs but not replacing them with anything. Not that it really mattered; they only had a half-hour to air time, and the script was already on the teleprompter. Dana desperately wanted to find something to say to him that would help, but despite all the years she had known him, she was completely at a loss. He had been brusque and business-like the entire day, not allowing the smallest opening for a personal conversation. For someone like Danny, who would gladly bleed all over anyone within reach if he had a paper cut, this sort of behavior was disturbing at the very least. Very unDanny-like.

Of course, it was even less Danny-like to sleep with his male co-anchor, so maybe some of the ground rules needed to be adjusted.

"It's a bunch of crap, you know," she said finally.

He looked up her, startled. "What's a bunch of crap?"

She motioned to the papers in front of him. "Your script. Pure drivel."

Leaning back in his chair, he sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"Just didn't want it to come as a surprise to you when you started reading it to the whole country."

"No, believe me, I know when what I write is bad."

"Casey's is even worse."

"Is it?"

"Yep. Danny, have you talked to him at all today?"

He gave a short, mirthless bark of laughter. "Dana, I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"Have you talked to him?"

"And what's up with the screenings of I, Claudius coming in off the satellite? Am I supposed to do my Alistair Cooke impersonation in the teaser tonight?"

"I take it that means you haven't talked to him."

He sighed heavily and put his head in his hands. "What do you want from me? No, I haven't talked to him. I have no idea what to say to him because I have no idea what's going on here."

Dana smiled slightly. "You've probably got a much better idea than I do."

Dan looked up at her sadly. "Dana, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mess anything up between you and Casey."

"Dan, stop it, I'm fine with this. Well, okay, not fine, but I'm coping. Better than you are, apparently. And I really do want to help." The second half of that statement was true, at least. She had been steeling herself not to think of Dan as her rival, but when she saw him so obviously miserable, all she could think of was to help her friend.

"Find me the real Casey McCall, that's about the only way you can help."

She paused. "Danny, I know it's none of my business...."

"Probably not."

"But what happened?"

"You think I jumped him, don't you."

"No, of course I don't."

"Yes, you do. You think there's no way Casey could possibly be attracted to a man, so of course I must have been the one to initiate it. You probably think I ravished the poor boy against his better judgment."

Clearly Danny was spoiling for a fight with someone, anyone, and Dana happened to be the unlucky person who put herself within range. She was not going to encourage him. From long experience, she knew that only made things worse. "So you're saying he initiated it."

"You're quick."

It was certainly something to think about, if only she had the time and the nerve to think about it. Although she was not about to tell him so, she had indeed assumed that Dan had been the one to make the first move. That would have been unexpected, but not unthinkable. Maybe she just didn't want to believe that Casey would want anyone if he didn't want her, or maybe she had just never considered Casey clued in enough emotionally to be able to make such a giant leap on his own. Either way, this would have been about the last behavior she expected from him. "And you haven't talked about it?"

Dan threw his hands in the air. "I would, if I knew what to say. I don't have a clue what's going on in his head right now, and I don't want to make matters any worse than they already are. You saw the way he blew up in that meeting. He only does that when he's really mad. And the only thing I can think of is that he's mad at himself and at me for last night."

"You're that sure he regrets it?"

"Of course, how could he not? Dana, Casey's been straight and almost entirely monogamous ever since I've known him. He doesn't have a sexually adventurous bone in his body. And having a relationship with a man, especially me, isn't what he needs right now. It could ruin our careers and, even worse, it could majorly fuck up his psyche. Last night we were drunk and happy. That's all it was. That's all it can or should be."

"He's confused, too, Dan. I saw the looks he was giving you in that meeting. He wasn't angry with you, he was worried. He doesn't know what to do about this either. If you're so sure about all of it, why don't you just tell him?"

He exhaled deeply and bowed his head for a long moment before speaking. "He's going to have to be the one to say the words. I can't do it. I don't want to be right."

Dana nodded slowly. So that's the way it was. Kim was right. And she should have known it herself long before this. "I wish there were something I could do to make this better," she said softly. She rolled her chair over next to his and slid her arm around his shoulders.

Dan let his head droop down to rest on her shoulder. "Just promise me you'll take care of him if he goes to you. If this ends badly and he needs help."

"I will, sweetie. But don't give up on Casey so quickly. I'm probably the last one who should be telling you this, but he's worth it. He just takes a little work. Or at least that's what Natalie's been telling me for weeks now." He smiled a little at that as he straightened up, and she patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Now, come on. We've got less than ten minutes until show time. Pull yourself together and let's get this crappy show over with."

He nodded as she stood up and started back toward the studio. "And Dana? Thanks."

She smiled, accepting his thanks on all the levels he meant and silently praying that they would all come through this okay.

***

Three minutes to air and Dan came through the control room on his way to the studio. He looked cool and composed, although he kept his gaze straight ahead. Impeccably groomed as he always was by show time, he took his seat at the anchor desk and patiently allowed the hair and make-up people to finish their job on him.

Ninety seconds to air and Casey came in. He had his usual air of professional assurance about him, with no sign of the anger and turmoil that had radiated off him just hours before. The swarm of people who needed to get their hands on him one last time before the show started descended as he sat down and straightened his papers. When all the last minute touch-ups were finished, he turned to Dan, who was keeping his eyes firmly on the pages in front of him and ignoring Casey and everyone else around him.

Dana fiddled with her headset controls so she could hear whatever they said over the background noise.

"Danny," Casey said simply.

"Yeah?" Dan did not look up, but his pen froze over the page and jiggled nervously for a minute.

"After the show... maybe we could talk?"

Danny remained still for a moment, then slowly turned to meet Casey's glance. "Sure. Let's do that." They held each other's gazes for a moment, then Dan gave a tiny smile and turned his attention back to the pages in front of him. "This sucks, you know."

The relieved look on Casey's face turned to nervousness again. "What sucks?"

"The script. It really, really sucks."

Casey smiled, fully this time. "Yeah, I know."

As they both flipped pages and commiserated on how bad their script was, Dana smiled, too. It was going to be a really sucky show. But other than that, it looked as though everything was going to be all right.

***

It was just about the suckiest show they had ever done, and Casey was deeply relieved when it was over. The only bad thing about it being over was that it meant it was now time to talk to Dan. Though even that did not seem as daunting a prospect as it had a few hours ago. Danny had smiled at him. That had to mean he didn't hate him. It wasn't the feral grin Dan reserved for people whose earthly existence he tolerated only because the penal code even for justifiable homicide was so harsh. It was a real smile. Which meant Danny didn't hate him.

They could work it out. Whatever there was to work out, they could do it. They had always been able to do anything they had to do together, and this would not be the exception to the rule.

They walked back to their office in silence. Casey entered in front of Dan, who kicked the door shut behind them. "People will talk," Dan noted with a wry smile. "But it's better than having them listen."

"They'll talk anyway," Casey said with resignation, seating himself at the little round table they usually wrote at.

"Tell me about it." Dan sat down across the table from him. They were within touching distance, but still had enough separation to avoid awkwardness. "So, we should talk."

"Yeah," Casey replied. Danny was simply looking at him, waiting for him to begin. Which was only fair, since Casey had been the one to begin last night. But Danny was looking at him, and then Casey vividly remembered why he had begun things last night. Those brown eyes he looked into every day burned with such intensity as he had never had directed at him by anyone. The feeling was more intoxicating than the liquor they had drunk and it seared through his chest and stomach.

He took a moment to let his gaze travel over the familiar face. Casey knew Danny's features better than his own, yet now there were new images, new expressions laid over the old. He knew what that face looked like in passion, what it felt like pressed into the crook of Casey's neck while Dan's body tensed and arched beneath his, then relaxed into boneless satiation. He knew what it felt like to have that face touching his in the moment of his own climax, and what it felt like to stroke it tenderly as they fell asleep tangled together in the aftermath. It was as if both of them were suddenly entirely different people.

Dan's voice broke his reverie. "You wanna start or should I?"

Casey made a valiant effort to pull himself together and not remember what that voice had sounded like breathless in his ear. "Sorry." He took a deep breath. "Danny, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry." Dan repeated the words without inflection, and Casey almost cringed at the complete lack of expression on his face. Danny had always had dozens of emotional coping mechanisms to keep people, often including Casey, at a distance, but this one was Casey's least favorite at all. Pure ice over a sheet of stone. "And what are you sorry about?"

"What am I sorry about?"

"That's what I'm asking you."

"Well, you were sort of there at the time."

"I really don't feel like playing this game with you today, Casey. We had sex last night. Right over there. We took our clothes off, lay down and had sex. There, I said it. Is that better? Now, you were just saying that you were sorry we had sex last night. I believe that was where we left off."

Casey leaned back in his chair and blinked at Dan. That certainly was one way of opening up the discussion, except that he had no line to follow with. "Danny.... You know I'm not good at this."

"I'm not trying to lecture you here, Case, I'm just trying to get you to talk."

"I just want everything to be okay with us. We can go on and forget this ever happened if that's what you want."

"Is that what you want?"

"Is it what you want?"

The phone and pile of notebooks crashing to the floor made Casey jump an inch out of his chair. He hadn't even seen Danny's arm move until the other man was already up and across the room. "Fuck this, Casey, I am not doing this with you. I am not going sit here and play your usual game of emotional hide-and- seek while the world falls down around our ears. Can't you just give me a yes or no so I have some idea of where I stand?"

Where he stood? Casey would have thought that he was the one in much more need of such information, considering both who had made the move last night and how Dan had reacted to their circumstances in the morning. He took a deep breath. All right. Talk to him, Isaac had said. Make a gesture, Isaac had told him long before that. He hated this sense of vulnerability, but this was Danny. If he couldn't trust Danny, then there was nothing good left in the world.

"Casey? You still with me?"

"Just collecting my thoughts. I figured you might want a little more than a yes or a no."

Dan smiled a little at that and wandered back over to the table. He sat on the edge just inches away from Casey and looked at him seriously. "Talk to me, Casey."

He swallowed against his dry throat and stared off at the glass wall. "What happened last night... I wasn't expecting it, I wasn't planning it. I didn't go in with the intent to get you drunk and seduce you."

"I didn't think you did."

"I just want you to know that what happened, what I felt, was as much a surprise to me as it was to you. I was looking at you and you were looking at me, and suddenly I just needed you."

"Needed me?"

"Yeah. I can't explain it, I just felt this powerful emotional and physical draw to you. I've never felt like that before, with anyone. So I kissed you. And you kissed me back. After that, it didn't seem worth it to think about it anymore. I just wanted the experience."

"And now that you've had the experience?"

Casey looked up and met his gaze. "I still want the experience." He watched Dan swallow hard and hastily continued on. "But it's okay, Danny, this isn't pressure on you. If you don't feel that way about me, I'll be fine with that. It's just... you're my best friend. With the possible exception of Charlie, you're far and away the most important person in my life. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. Not over this."

"You won't lose me," Dan said gravely. "I promise." He paused. "You know, I've spent the entire day convincing myself that last night was a bad mistake. But... I have to be honest with you."

"Please don't let this be an easy let down."

The faintest hint of a smile crossed Dan's face. "No, it's anything but that. I need you to know... I could fall for you so easily, Case. So hard and so deep that I'd never come up again and never want to. It would be so easy to do."

"And this is a bad thing for what reason?"

There was no smile now, but there was tenderness in Danny's gaze. "Don't break my heart, Casey. That's all I'm saying. Because this isn't just an experience for me. And I wouldn't get over it."

Casey could do nothing but stare at his friend in shock. He could not move, absolutely could not speak, and was as certain as he was about anything that his jaw was hanging open in a very unflattering way.

Break Danny's heart? It was an astounding statement. Casey had never had the power to break anyone's heart before. Most of his romantic liaisons had been casual affairs, and he knew now that even as a husband he had held no real sway over Lisa's deeper emotions. His flirtation with Dana was still casual and cautious, and despite their long-standing affection for each other, he had no misconceptions that he could do anything to her that she would never get over. The love and trust Danny was offering him seemed like the most precious and the most terrifying thing possible.

He nodded shakily, then slowly extended his hand to lie face up on the table by Dan's leg. After a second's pause, Danny, with equal deliberation, placed his own hand on Casey's. As their fingers closed gently around each other, Casey felt the dread leave him completely. "We should take this slow."

"Yeah," Dan said.

"There's no rush, we have time to decide what we really want."

"We do have time."

"To decide if this kind of relationship is something we really want to pursue. Seriously, I mean."

"Yeah," Dan said again. "I know what you mean. Nice and slow, no pressure on either of us."

"Exactly."

Dan nodded slowly. "I can live with that."

"So can I."

"Okay, then." Danny smiled again and tugged a little on their clasped hands. Casey slid his chair forward enough to wrap his arms around Dan's waist. He rested his head against Danny's chest and felt Dan's arms come up around his shoulders to hold him. Casey let out a shaky breath as gentle hands caressed his hair almost imperceptibly. He tightened his grip on his partner briefly and felt a soft kiss on the top of his head just as they broke apart.

"I'm glad we had this little talk," Casey said lightly, and Dan laughed.

"So am I. I don't think I could take another day like today." He hopped off the table and started gathering his things.

"At least it's the weekend now." "Yeah. I need a couple of days before I'll feel ready to look anyone here in the face again."

"Ashamed?" The question came out in as nonchalant a tone as Casey had intended, but Dan still caught the seriousness behind it.

"No, of course not. I'm just not used to having my personal life spread out for everyone to see in such intimate detail." He paused in the act of slinging his bag over his shoulder. "And not knowing how things were with us, that's what made it impossible to deal with all the looks and rumors."

"You ran out this morning like demons were chasing you. And you avoided me like the plague all day. I was thinking you were never going to talk to me again."

Danny shrugged. "I freaked."

"So did I."

"Which is why we're taking it slow."

"So we won't freak again?"

"That's right." Dan nodded firmly and headed for the door. "Call me. We'll do something this weekend."

"Yeah. Okay." Casey watched him leave until the door clicked shut behind him. On a normal night, they would have packed up and left together, but taking it slow meant they needed this small separation, especially after the intimacy they had just allowed themselves.

He stood up and started to clean up his space. His limbs were trembling with the aftershock of the confrontation. He wasn't used to opening up that way, even to Dan; he felt as though he had poured out everything that was inside him, leaving an empty space somewhere in his gut. And he missed Danny already.

The door clicked again and Casey turned sharply, immediately annoyed that someone was coming to bother him. The annoyance turned to surprise when he saw Danny standing in the half-open door. "I was thinking," Dan said.

"You were?"

"Yeah, I was. And what I was thinking was that we might be going about this the wrong way."

"Yeah?"

"Yep. Think about this: we agreed that we needed to figure out if we wanted to have this kind of relationship. Right?"

"I seem to remember agreeing to something like that."

"Well, when you think about it, how are we supposed to know if we like it if we don't try it?" Dan said earnestly. "And try it a lot. I mean, we have to give the whole thing a fair shake before we pass judgment on it, don't we?"

"So far you're making a good point," Casey said. He couldn't prevent his lips from twitching into a tiny smile at the corners. "So what do you think is the next step?"

"Wanna come back to my place?"

Casey pretended to consider for a minute. "All right," he said finally.

"All right?" Danny grinned broadly. "All right!"

He grabbed his coat. "Then what are we waiting for?"

***

Casey sighed again, but for the first time that day, it was a happy sigh. Danny had a king-sized bed, which was a very good thing because if Casey had to spend another night on a short couch with another six-foot tall man he suspected his limbs would cramp up into permanent and highly unattractive contortions. But here they had clean sheets, soft pillows and warm covers, and Casey was prepared to take full advantage of all of them tonight.

He turned over and into a prolonged stretch, luxuriating in the heavy languor that always gripped his body after fantastic, bone-melting sex. He had never felt a sensation so utterly appropriate for its circumstance. Danny lay prone beside Casey, arms folded beneath his pillow, already sound asleep. Casey smiled with a hint of smugness; it must have been good for Danny, too.

Yawning, Casey watched his sleeping partner for a few minutes, knowing he should sleep as well. He was completely exhausted, and tomorrow was Saturday. Dan would be up early to watch the WB cartoons like he always did, and that meant that Casey would be up, too, since he had no intention of letting Danny out of arm's reach for a while if he could possibly help it. With another sigh of contentment, he curled himself around Dan, resting his head against a warm shoulder and giving in to the drowsiness. They still had so much to talk about, but it would all wait till morning.

Casey smiled against the smooth skin beneath his cheek as he drifted off. He had done good. He had gotten lucky. Really, really lucky. And he couldn't wait to tell Danny.

END