Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, Blaine, Canniblaine, or Sassy Gay Friend

If you don't know Sassy Gay Friend, I suggest you run to YouTube now, type in 'Sassy Gay Friend' and watch every video you can find. Especially the Eve one, I still adore that one. XD

Anyway, I just think Canniblaine is in need of a sassy gay friend... I mean, it'd make such a difference, just look:

Blaine Anderson is a cannibal that just ate his lover. Now, he's all alone, and still hungry. This could've been stopped if he had a Sassy Gay Friend.

Blaine: -nomming on Kurt's nummy leg-

SGF: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Blaine: -stops- -looks up innocently- I was eating my lover.

SGF: …why?

Blaine: Because…he looked like he'd taste good. I was right! :D

SGF: …you do realize you're killing your perfect other half, right?

Blaine: D: What? No I'm not! I'm just eating him!

SGF: That's what eating is, Blaine! By eating him, you're killing him! Look at him, he's so pale he should be living with the Cullens!

Blaine: Oh, no, he's always like that.

SGF: Oh…well, his porcelain skin aside, unless you want to grow old alone raising fifty cats you should stop eating your boyfriend.

Blaine: …cats taste yummy.

SGF: BLAINE WARBLER ANDERSON COOPER. Use that dapper mind of yours and actually think for a moment.

Blaine: -looks down at bloody Kurt- HOLY SHIZ! OHMYGOD SASSY GAY FRIEND HOW DO I FIX HIM?

SGF: You may want to call Harry Potter for that one, sweetie. I need to go knock some sassy gay sense into someone else now. -sassy gay puff of smoke-

And then Blaine somehow fixes him and they skip off singing "Not Alone".

Yes, I'm weird, I know.

Guys, I'm destined to be famous from writing awkward comedies that are horrifingly amazing.

GUYS I AM SO MENTALLY MESSED UP.

GUYS, tell me how you liked this.

R&R?