A/N: I do not own the characters, and the song is from Legally Blonde: The Musical.

Julian singing

Kurt singing.

Julian was sitting in the back corner of the empty classroom. Class had let out and everyone had already left for lunch but Julian just couldn't work up the feeling to care enough to move. Why bother. If he got up, he'd have to suffer through another lunch where he lovingly stared at Logan while Logan lovingly stared at Kurt. The thought made him sick, and he just wasn't feeling it today. Maybe in a few minutes he'd get up, but right now he was slumped comfortably, and why move if there's no place to go?

Julian could hear chattering in the hallway as students passed by the classroom, and he could hear Kurt's unmistakable high voice laughing at something someone said. The sound made Julian's stomach turn. He was probably laughing at something Blaine said. Blaine. The guy Kurt was in love with. And the guy that Julian was in love with used to be in love with Blaine but now is in love with Kurt. None of this matters of course; it just all equals Julian alone.

Suddenly the classroom door opened and Kurt's head poked through the doorway.

"Julian?"

"What."

"Why are you in here?"

"Why do you care?" Kurt shrugged and walked through the doorway and closed the door behind him. He shrugged his book bag off and walked to the desk diagonal from Julian's desk, and propped himself up against it, watching Julian.

Julian sighed and rolled his eyes under his trademark aviators. "What."

Kurt smirked and started singing.

Honey whatcha cryin at?

You're not losing him to that

Both his hair and shoes are flat

Why is he so rude?

"You do realize the 'that' in this equation is you. I never thought I'd ever see the day when you would diss your own style."

"Bitch I'm fabulous. And I'm well aware that I'm the roadblock, much to my dismay. But singing always helps me, and a little Legally Blonde never hurt anyone. Now stop whining and let's sing."

Wipe your tears; it's no big thing

You were meant to wear his ring

Cheer-up, chin-up

It's time to bring

A happy attitude

Julian smirked and pulled himself out of the corner desk and slightly shoved Kurt from his perch on the desk and sang the next part.

Keep it positive

As you slap her to the floor

Keep it positive

As you pull her hair and call her whore

You can take her in a fight

You and he will reunite!

Kurt stumbled over and looked straight at Julian,

You know we're right

We're positive

Julian who was walking towards the front of the classroom now, turned around and yelled "KILL HER!"

Kurt tried to keep a straight face as he launched into the next part of the song.

Violence is never wise

Not the way to win back guys

Anyway she's twice my size

Who's gotta plan B?

Uh, me!

Look at her; she's like a nun

Show him you are way more fun

Bust out the lap dance

And you won

You off the hizzle, gee!

By now Kurt was dancing around the desks, laying his body across the teacher's desk, and trying to sing seductively without laughing at the ridiculous lyrics.

Julian jumped in with the appropriately placed "what?"

They both sang the next part together, laughing and shimmying around the room.

Keep it positive

Yeah! Let out your inner freak!

Keep it positive

Miss Prissy Pants won't last a week

I will whet his appetite

You and he will reunite –

Suddenly the classroom door opened and a confused Logan came through the door. Kurt and Julian looked at each other and tried to stop laughing.

"Hi Kurt."

"Logan."

Julian's good mood immediately disappeared and the Cheshire grin that once graced his face was back to the gloomy scowl.

Kurt regained his composure and went to pick up his backpack. He brushed past Logan without a second glance, but turned back to look at Julian before he left.

"Keep it positive my dear. And if all else fails, the bend and snap - it works every time."

And with that, Kurt sent Julian a saucy wink and walked out the door, probably going off to meet Blaine. Logan stood just inside the classroom, visibly upset that Kurt hadn't said more than one word to him, and that he had walked in on Julian and Kurt singing together and looking happy about it.

"What the hell was that all about?"

Julian just walked to the back of the classroom, singing softly.

Wake him up like sleepin beauty

Turn his head with your red-hot booty

He picked up his book bag and his discarded sunglasses and put them back on. As he sauntered past Logan, Logan heard Julian singing.

You bring the noise if we bring the funk

It's positively time to shake your junk.

And then Julian strolled out the door. Logan, still bewildered, followed after Julian intent on demanding what in the hell had just happened in there? Logan stopped suddenly because Julian had dropped something on the floor. He bent down to get it and, damn. Hello Julian.