"It hurts, huh.?"

"More than you know."

The look on the Captain's face said that he did know, that he realized what exactly Sandra had taken from Lucas.

"Well for what it's worth, I'm not going to accept your resignation"

Lucas let out a sigh. "Maybe you should." He wanted to laugh. Resignation was not what he was thinking about.

"Why? You were a valuable piece of manpower when you came aboard. Why should I give you up now that you're older and more mature?"

Lucas looked at Wendy who was trying to comfort him by rubbing his back. She could tell there was something more to the conversation but both Lucas and the Captain were blocking her and she didn't push. Lucas looked at the Captain and excused himself.

The Captain smiled, making Lucas think that perhaps he hadn't figured it out.

He made his way over to the car where they were holding Sandra. He was so angry. At the same time he was disappointed. And both feelings were directed more at himself than the woman who'd deceived him.

"I suppose you expect me to say that I'm sorry."

"No. No I don't expect anything from you." He didn't. He wouldn't bother with someone so heartless.

"We're a lot alike Lucas."

"What the I read Clayman in high school act?" Lucas played with a piece of the car. He was trying not to cry. Trying to call up the attitude that came so easily on seaQuest- that had come so easily before last night.

"Sandra we're nothing alike." It came out softer than he wanted.

"When it comes down to it Lucas, you followed your heart and I followed mine."

The look he gave her was of a hate so deep. The car pulled away and he wrapped his arms around himself and looked almost longingly at the car that drove away. But it wasn't the loss of the woman that made his heart break. It was the fact that he had given someone so cruel, so heartless and manipulative something so important. They thought he was upset over his heart, over being conned. They had no idea how deep the con ran into his soul. He wished in that moment – more than anything – he wished that it had been Juliana. She had tricked him into coming to Node 3 sure, but it wasn't a selfish trick. They'd genuinely care about each other and he wished that he had had the courage back at the Sanger Institute to "do something stupid." He wished that he could forget about his night with Sandra like Tony always forgot the girls he got lucky with. But Lucas knew that he could never forget. You never forget the first time for anything.

* Author's Note: Dialogue is from "And Everything Nice" Season 2

Annnnd special thanks to my beta darkin520