I'm channeling Rose Hathaway right now and I don't particularly know why. Right now, I'm not my greatest, me and my mother just had a fight so I wrote this to try and alleviate some of my emotions. I think this will be just a one-shot but I might change it. This could be a seriously interesting story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Rose Hathaway or VAMPIRE ACADEMY…If I did...well... There would be more than just vampires in it.

"Love Fades…Mine Has"

Those words echoed through my ears and my head consuming me and taking my breath away. My heart was both pounding yet aching. I could feel each part of it breaking as this man, this one man, tore my heart into shreds with just those four little words.

How could four little words hurt me so badly? I mean they are just words right? Meaningless words in the dictionary yet arranged like that, was devastating coming from the lips of the perfect man standing in front of me.

I choked back a sob as I stared up into his cold brown eyes. Those brown eyes were just so different than the man I'd loved. The man I'd known for these months. The man, I unknowingly saved my purity for. The man I believed would be mine for the rest of my life. The man I RISKED my life for... Here he stood just watching me break apart.

"Okay then." I whispered. "I'll leave ...you alone." Whispering those four words hurt me but not near as bad as the four he just uttered.

He nodded and turned away, Lissa who was at his side, just turned as well. The pain doubled. My best friend and my Ex teaming up against me? I was Rose Hathaway who do they think they are? Hell who am I anymore?

Since when did I believe in such bullshit?

I couldn't even keep my bravado. I turned away and walked with my head down low and my hands clenched. I was heading in no particular direction. Though the forest did seem rather comforting, I guess I'd head there. Where else could I go that didn't remind me of him?

I stumbled blindly through the foliage of the trees and the leaves that coated the forest floor. My eyes open yet not seeing anything at all. My heart kept that irregular pounding that pulsed through my body. My hands were shaking in their clenched fists as those four words kept screaming in my head. It kept repeating and repeating, getting louder and louder.

I tripped over what looked like a rock and scratched my knee against the large pointed edge. I barely registered the pain as I leaned against the large trunk of an old oak tree; the brown, rough bark digging into my back through my thin blouse. I didn't even mind it. The emotional pain was too much; no amount of physical could outdo my heartbreak. I brought my knees up, not even noticing the huge gush of blood escaping the gash in my knee. I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face into my blooded knees and released all the pain I felt.

I screamed my lungs out into my legs. I don't even know if someone heard and I didn't care. I kept screaming into my bent knees. I tasted my own blood but I didn't care. My screams soon turned into hoarse cries which gave way to my sobs and I just rocked back and forth.

I used to be so strong. I used to be a protector. I used to be a fighter. I used to be a friend. I used to be a lover. I used to be happy. I used to be passionate about life. I used to be thankful Lissa saved me. I used to be so many things but now look at me.

I'm a broken shell of Rose Hathaway. I will never be able to be who I used to be. I'm not strong anymore. I'm not a fighter. I can't keep going through this pain over and over and over again. I can't go on without him. He was everything to me. He was my heart, my soul, my life, my dreams, my fantasies, my happiness and with one mission that I SUGGESTED, I changed everything.

It isn't his fault he thinks he's a monster. It's my fault. I'm the one who turned him. I'm the one that suggested he risk his life for people who anyone else would pronounce as dead and go on. It's my fault he was changed into an undead asshole. It's my fault he tortured and drank from me. I should have left him alone.

I shouldn't be alive, me living has thrown everything out of whack. I should have died just as everyone else did. I shouldn't be here living and breathing and existing hurting everyone around me with a careless thought I act upon. I shouldn't put the people I care about through shit everyday because of my hardheaded, stubborn bitchy personality. I shouldn't be wasting the air they deserved to breath. I'm not fit to guard anyone in the state I'm in.

I shouldn't guard Lissa. Lissa should have never brought me back to life. Doesn't she understand I'm a freak? Doesn't she understand how stressful the darkness is? Doesn't she get the fact that I'm miserable every single day of my life and she's just happy with her Christian and him? She's living her dream life while mine was destroyed months ago.

I don't need to be here anymore. I don't deserve to live. After all? What's there to live for in my life?

My friends? Ha! They don't need me. Lissa can do them just fine. Lissa? She hasn't needed me in the weeks I've been back. She'll live. Christian? Firecrotch hates me. Lissa and he will do just fine. Eddie? He's a tough cookie. He will live. Adrian? Yeah he loves me alright. I don't love him though, I could never love him so why not leave and get it over with. He can find love with someone better. Someone not broken someone who can love a perfect guy like him unconditionally. My mother? She hasn't given a damn about me in 19 years. My father? What a joke. I didn't know the man existed till a few months ago. The Academy? Ha! I was nothing but a delinquent. A spoiled little brat that made their lives a living hell because my mommy didn't love me.

I want these shadows to end, I want this pain to end, and I want this hurt to leave. I want this ache in my chest relieved. I want this emotional rollercoaster I call my life to end! I ….

I didn't notice nor hear the snarls echoing around me. I didn't notice the bright moonlight shining over my head. I didn't notice the large black wolf to my left or the large grayish one to my right. I didn't notice the intelligent look both held in the glowing golden eyes as they gazed at me hungrily.

I didn't even notice as they sunk their teeth into my body. I just noticed the sweet release as my pain began to fade away and the blackness swallowed me.

Okay this might just become a chapter story I could have an interesting lead into this… Let me know what you think. If I get about 10 reviews I might post more. This was just a way to erlease the stress i'm feeling.. thank you for reading!