This had to stop. This, this chaotic mess that had started. And it was all due to Kurt freaking Hummel. Had he known just how much trouble the spy would be when first officially meeting him in the local coffee shop, he most certainly wouldn't have been nearly so understanding as he was at the time. But dammit, the kid had looked so very adorably lost and confused that he had completely blinded Wes to the truth.

Kurt Hummel was a monster, out to confuse and bamboozle Wes to the point where he began to doubt the many unwritten laws he had lived by his whole life(refusing to let loose like the other boys wasn't being a stick-in-the-mud, rather it was a clear sign of early maturity and he was straight as a ruler), rules that had served him long and well.

Until he came along. Moving in as Wes' roommate, (and for the record, he was the worst roommate ever), stealing his place at Blaine's side without even a single word of apology to him(the nerve). Taking Blaine's heart oh-so-easily with just one beautifully sung song, Don't Cry For Me Argentina, making Wes look like the bad guy when he was rejected for the solo.

That could all have been forgotten over time, though, had he not decided to interfere in Wes' life directly.

It had started at lunch one day, just moments after he had reprimanded one of the Warblers for talking a bit too loudly(it was obnoxious, for God's sake) when Kurt had looked him right in the eye, and uttered the words that would lead him to utter condemnation in Wes' mind.

"It must be painful," he said, tilting his head as he eyed Wes thoughtfully.

"What?" Irritated, he snapped back.

"Having a pole stuck that far up your ass." Silence. Utter silence. Far too stunned to say anything, he glanced to the side to see Jeff and Nick doubled over in barely restrained laughter(the traitors). Blaine was busy staring at Kurt open-mouthed, shocked by his use of a profanity. (Gasp!)

The devil himself merely continued eating placidly, smirking at Wes in obvious amusement.

"Honestly, Wesley, I have yet to see you ever actually have fun. Now that you're my friend, though, I've decided to make you my new project."

WTF? A Wicked quote, really? He narrowed his eyes at the boy, deciding to go along with it.

"You really" stressing the really," don't have to do that." Eat it, pretty boy, you're not the only one who knows your Broadway besides you and Blaine.

If anything, Kurt's grin grew wider. "I know. That's what makes me so nice." Tossing Wes a smug look, he stood up in his seat, placing one hand dramatically on his chest.

Oh dear God, NO.

"Whenever I see someone, less fortunate than I-" dear God, please sit down and shut the eff up "-and let's face it, who isn't, less fortunate than I! My tender heart tends to start to bleed." At this he lowered his head, placing his hands mock sorrowfully over his heart. At this point, the whole rest of the cafeteria was staring at them.

He was going to kill Kurt Hummel.

"And when someone needs a makeover," at this Wes snorted as he continued, "I simply have to take over. I know, I know, exactly what they need. And even in your case," he leaned over and put his hand sympathetically on Wes' shoulder. He was doing this on purpose, Wes knew, as he planned exactly how he was going to murder Kurt. At this point, the rest of the Warblers were all snickering, including the other Council members. So help me, Kurt Hummel, if you make a fool out of me in front of the whole cafeteria, I will personally END YOU with a rusty chainsaw.

Kurt continued, voice rising, "though it's the toughest case I've yet to face," he drew up, still holding Wes as he made a fist with his other hand, "don't worry, I'm determined to succeed. Follow my lead!"

And thus it continued. To his horror, Kurt managed to drag him to the front of the hall, twirling and dancing around him with exaggerated facial expressions. To top it off, he could see David out of the corner of his eye, cracking up with the rest of the Warblers. And the whole rest of the cafeteria.

Finally, the last line.

"Just not, quite as popular, as, meeeee!" Kurt threw his head back, raising his hands over-dramatically as he drew out the last syllable.

Applause filled the room as Kurt bowed, even while Wes stomped back to his seat.

"Oh my God, dude! That was freaking hysterical!" Thad said laughed, grinning ear to ear. "You should have seen your face!"

"Yeah, no offense dude, but-" David spoke in the most irrespective manner(damn you, Kurt Hummel!) "-you do need to lighten up a bit."

He seethed at this, even as Kurt came back to sit next to Blaine. People kept coming up to congratulate him, chuckling as they tossed some words around. A few people came up to Wes, confirming just what David had said("Good to see you've learned to let loose a bit, Wes.").

It infuriated him.

Who did he think he was? And then, then, he actually asked Wes if he was bi. Even if he was, how the hell was it Hummel's business?

When he reiterated this thought, the boy merely shrugged. "Just curious. I mean, most completely straight guys I know would never have recognized a quote from Wicked."

Nerves frayed, he growled that no, he was fully and utterly straight. As the others finally turned back to their own conversations, Kurt just gave him a slight knowing look.

What?

Okayz, so...

Yeah. I used way too many italics in this. Oh well. I can see Wes over-using italics in his thoughts.

Just in case you're wondering, this will turn into Wes/Kurt. while I'm usually an avid Klaine shipper, I find the idea of Wert(or Kes?) rather adorable, especially when written by a good author. So I decided to try one.

Oh, and since I'm not supposed to use song lyrics, I didn't use all of them. Just the first few, 'cause it was necessary. Lyrics belong to Wicked, Glee is NOT MINE.

Warning: This may turn into smut. Until it does, though, I'm just going to leave it at T. The moment smut comes up, it will go to M.

Reviews are love! Any ideas will be all too gladly taken into consideration!

-Mel