Nicholas: Because I was reading "Shattering of a Rock" and decided it's too damn depressing, and I'm still running into that wall with "When He's Mute." I wanted to write a follow up that was a little less angsty and maybe kind of light-hearted. It totally did not turn out that way. In fact, the opposite happened. This is probably worse...fuck me, seriously.

Disclaimer: I'm not that crazy. I'm only this crazy. That? That's all them.

Rating: M...hints at dark themes, violence, depression, ASD, some language and...oh hell, I'm probably over-rating it, I'll just put an F-bomb in the author's note.

"We need a med team down here!"

"Get him on a stretcher!"

"Daniel, can you hear me?"

"Clear the way; get out of the way now!"

"Daniel? He's barely breathing, got a pulse?"

"Wait, Ma'am, I need you to come over here with me."

"His vitals are failing! I need a crash cart over here!"

"Daniel?"

"Please sit down, Ma'am."

Beep

"Move him on three: one, two…"

Beep

"I'm losing him! Come on, Dr. Jackson!"

"Ma'am, you need to calm down!"

Beep
"No, no! Daniel? Is he alright, Daniel!"

There was a loud, low, high-pitched beep before she felt herself falling into the dark.

"What's th-this blanket for?" Even as she asked the question, Vala tugged the edges of the thick flannel tighter around her shoulders, clenching her shaking fists.

Before her, stood Dr. Lam, looking more exasperated and ragged than Vala had ever seen her. Thin locks of hair had fallen out of her usually neat and prim ponytail and were dangling over her face. She had a strangely distant look on her face that wasn't typical of this woman when she was with a patient, but she was still gentle with the poking and prodding while she checked Vala's condition.

"It's for shock," she stated absently, "have you noticed that you can stop shaking, can't seem to settle down?"

"Y-yes actually, I w-was beginning to wonder."

Very carefully, the doctor tugged the blanket back just a little from Vala's chest and put that cold end of the stethoscope over her heart. While she did that, Vala did her best to breathe slowly and get her heart to top jackrabbitting a mile a minute. Every part of her body was pulsing with the force of her heartbeat, and her chest was beginning to hurt. Part of her thought that maybe she was having a heart attack, which scared her even more. But once she got her senses about her again—deeps breaths, Vala, deep, slow breaths—she realized that if she had a heart attack while Dr. Lam had that scope-thingy pressed against her chest, the good doctor would probably have said something by now.

After much touching and checking and scribbling on a clipboard, Dr. Lam finally turned to Vala and patted her on the shoulder. "Aside from some minor cuts and bruises, and the shock you're experiencing, you are just fine," she said. Vala was sure that she meant that to sound reassuring, but it didn't. "I want you to rest here for a while, go ahead and lay down if you want. You've been through a lot, so right now just let yourself calm down and get some rest."

Then, she turned to leave, and Vala grabbed onto her arm to stop her. "Wait, what about Daniel? Is he okay? Can I see him? Where did they take him before? Is there something wrong with him? Can I see him?"

The doctor took hold of her wrists and set her hands down on the blanket. "You don't need to worry about that right now." Which meant that she had no idea; a cold feeling shot up Vala's spine. "Listen, you let me take care of Daniel for now. You focus on yourself and getting better and I'll tell you everything later."

All Vala could do was nod at this point. She didn't want to think about what could be wrong with Daniel, what need "taking care of." They were home, everything was supposed to be better now, right? …Right?

"To be completely honest," Dr. Lam began, the bags under her eyes standing out darker than they were last night, "I don't know. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that it looks like Dr. Jackson has had multiple aneurysms burst in his brain that miraculously healed themselves only to build up and burst again. Whatever caused this to happen still seems to be working; even though he's fallen into a coma, he still seems to be in a great deal of pain."

Vala's face remained the way it had since she'd woken up this morning and remembered where she and Daniel had been for the last four days: emotionless. She'd been to the infirmary to check on Daniel five times, but they continued to feed her some bullshit story about the instability of his condition and how "as soon as we know something we'll let you know." Idiots, all of them; couldn't they see that she just needed to touch him, just once. She needed to feel him, warm and alive beneath her hand, or else she was going to go wonko. She sat at the long table in the briefing room with the remaining members of SG-1 and General Landry—she had been going through one hell of a debriefing—and now Dr. Lam, who needed to update everyone on Daniel's…condition.

She hated that, hated when they called it that. She could barely stand it when they talked about him as if he was already de… When they started throwing around words like "condition" and "chances of survival," she wanted to just scream at them to shut the hell up because Daniel wasn't going to die. He wasn't allowed to, damn it. All of those other brushes with death that he'd had—yes she'd heard about the "Many Deaths of Daniel Jackson"—that had to be some kind of sign that he just wasn't allowed to die yet, they still needed him here, she still needed him.

They were all still droning on when Vala abruptly stood. "I want to see him," she said, face blank, eyes empty. "I don't care what medical excuse you are going to give me next, I really don't give a damn. I want to see Daniel."

Despite her best efforts, she couldn't conjure up the fire to make her voice sound anything but dejected. However, it did seem to have the desired effect because the objection on Dr. Lam's lips seemed to die away with a glance at Vala's face. Nobody in the room moved, and all eyes were on her. Usually this would have been a good thing, Vala was always one for undivided attention and always knew what to do with it, but this time she really didn't care. As they were all looking at her, considering the best course of action, presumably the one that wouldn't make her fragile being break into little pieces, she just stared back with hallow, vacant eyes. It was Teal'c who finally broke the stillness and put a hand on her shoulder.

"We will accompany you to see DanielJackson," he said, voice uncharacteristically soft.

Samantha quickly nodded and stepped forward with Cam on her heels. All of it was so touching and maybe something inside her quivered, but she was pretty sure that most everything in there was pretty much dead by now.

The first thing she saw in that horrible room was that his face needed shaving, and there was a machine breathing for him. She moved into the room, right up to his bedside, and looked down at him. His skin was pale and sickly and his face looked relaxed and would have seemed serene if it weren't for the bruises. Whatever she had been expecting to change when she saw him, whether it was some inexplicable recovery on Daniel's part, or her nagging numbness to finally go away, it didn't happen. Her body felt haggard and heavy and she couldn't figure out whether she was supposed to cry or run through the halls cackling hysterically. Without any conscious intent, she fell back into the bedside chair and it just managed to catch her.

She became aware of Sam standing next to her, also looking at Daniel and she felt like she had to ask. "If I were to talk to him, could he hear me?"

"Um…I don't think so," she replied honestly, there was evidence of tears in the quavering of her voice. By her quick, stilted intake of breath, Vala could tell that she was doing her best to hide them. "No one is really sure what a coma patient experiences as far as outside stimuli. But it's worth a try, I guess."

"I guess…"

The following silence was deafening and awkward and Samantha must have found it to be too much on top of watching Daniel lying in bed like that. She turned around and hesitantly walked out, muttering something about needing to finish something or other with her raspy, choked voice. There was more movement just outside the door, Teal'c and Mitchell said a few things to her and then the silence was back, and it was just Daniel and Vala again.

Every hiss of the respirator and beep of the monitor made her that much closer to wishing he was still screaming in pain. She'd overheard some talking last night about "major hemorrhaging" and "irreversible brain damage." One of the male doctors that Vala didn't too much care for seemed to suggest that even if Daniel did wake up from his coma he would be a vegetable so there was little point in keeping him alive. Her blood ran cold when Dr. Lam replied with a sullen "I don't know how he's still alive to begin with."

Blinking the images from her mind, Vala put her focus back on Daniel. They were alone now, just like when they first met on the Prometheus; just like tricking Tennat and Jeup out of a cargo ship; just like back in the cell. Echoes rang in her head, the screaming and the crying, the utter agony that contorted his face and let him red and shaking. Suddenly, she leaned forward and reached out to grasp his hand. She let out a sigh of relief when she felt that he was indeed warm and alive, if only just so. Along with that breath, a rush of words came out of her before she even knew it.

"You can't die, Daniel, you can't," she said, "you can't be so selfish. I won't put up with it." It was unexpected and a little abrupt, but the feeling it gave her—like all of the pent up energy finally found a positive channel out—was so good that she couldn't help herself but continue.

"I'll throw the mother of all tantrums, don't tempt me. I won't ever let you go because you aren't allowed to leave, I haven't said that you could leave, and you…you promised me, you promised me: as long as I need you. You and me, together, as long as I need you, and I need you, Daniel. I need you because without you I don't feel right. I can't smile without you, I can't cry without you, so you have to get better, you see? You have to because you promised and you can't…you can't break that promise because I hate people who break their promises and I can't hate you, I just can't. So you're not allowed to die, do you hear me? You are not allowed to die."

Somewhere in her diatribe, the hot feeling of wet tears slid down her cheeks and it was like a relief and a heart ache all in one gift-package. That thing inside of her that had been cold and numb when she woke up this morning start to pulse and burn in her chest and she tightened her grasp on his wrist and let the tears fall until she was shaking and jerking with the force of her sobs. Then, she decided that she couldn't leave; she couldn't go away again and try and go about her business while he was in here. If she did that, the thing inside her would get cold again and what if…no, he wouldn't, but…what if while she was away, he left and she got cold and there was no way for it to warm up again? Her heart started to pound at the very thought of it.

Desperately, she lifted his hand and put it to her face, relishing in the warmth, letting it sooth her. "You have to wake up, Daniel." Her voice was a whisper, barely there. "You have to."

It didn't work like it did in the movies. Daniel didn't stir at all; his heart monitor didn't alter from its steady beat.

In a moment, she became aware that she wasn't the only one in the room like she had originally thought. Somehow, Colonel Mitchell managed to linger there unbeknownst to her. He put a hand on her shoulder, but didn't say anything, just stood there, being there. There were now two points of warmth on her body that she could rely on. Gripping tighter to Daniel, she leaned into Cameron.

"I can't leave," she said.

"No one's asking you to."

"Just as long as we're clear on that." As she cleared her throat, her voice got a little stronger, a little closer to the way it used to be, what felt like years ago. "You know how he's always getting himself into trouble, someone has to make sure he doesn't do something stupid like…give up."

With a gentle chuckle, Cameron knelt down beside her. "And all those times that you got into trouble with him, those don't count, right?"

"Of course not, they were his fault."

Cam nodded and put an arm around her shoulders. He looked over at the bed, at Jackson, and hid his cringe really well for a Tauri. Breathing deeply, he turned away, back to Vala, and prepared himself to speak—which Vala was really dreading for all of the few moments it took him to work up his nerve. Anything that Cameron Mitchell had to work up his nerve to say was worth wary attention. "What happened?" he asked. "I know what you told Landry was barely scraping the surface so what happened?"

She brought Daniel's hand close to her face again, speaking with her mouth hidden behind it. "I don't know who they were. I have enough enemies, so take your pick, really. Everything was going fine. The natives were having a feast in honor of 'new friends,' I assume they meant SG-11 and Daniel and me.

"Daniel sat next to me, but he kept trying to scoot away, keep his distance I guess, and when I asked him about it, he told me that some of the people thought that he and I were married." She laughed lightly, traces of a wicked gleam in her eyes at the memory. "I, of course, did nothing to discredit their belief. Eventually he excused himself, said he'd be right back, and left. He was gone for nearly foty-five minutes, dinner was almost done and Hawkins kept giving me curious looks that seemed to suggest that I was responsible for discerning whatever it was that had distracted Daniel this time. I told Hawkins and the rest of the company at the table that I was going to look for him and that we'd probably be gone a while." She bit her bottom lip coyly so that there was no way that Cameron could miss the innuendo. "It earned a few laughs, but as soon as I left the building, I must have been knocked unconscious."

When he stroked his hand over her back, it was probably meant to be comforting, but it didn't help much. "You told Landry all of this," he stated with a nod, "but what happened next?"

"What do you think happened? I woke up in a small, dark enclosed space with Daniel tapping his knuckles against the walls like he actually expected there to be some weak point he could find like that. I remember the ceiling was so low that we neither of us could stand up and if we lay on our backs side by side we covered the entire floor. It was cold too, very cold. Kind of odd being that the part of the planet we'd been on before had a tropical climate.

"Anyway, once I woke up, Daniel stopped what he was doing and asked if I was alright. He even checked me for cuts, apparently whoever they were hadn't knocked him out and had treated him rather roughly."

Suddenly, she fell silent, glaring viciously in Daniel's direction, but one could easily tell that it wasn't directed at him. She was lost in the memory, body tense and breathing slow and ragged.

"Then…?" Cam prompted.

"'Then' what? Then nothing. For the longest time, it felt like days, there was nothing. We were left alone, there was no food, no water, the majority of our things had been taken—including our shoes, but excluding clothes. I started to believe that we had been locked away to be forgotten about. Wasn't that wishful thinking…" She took a deep breath and wiped her hand over her eyes. "It seemed like a week later, but Daniel somehow measured the time and told me it was more like three days, they came and took him away. And don't ask me who 'they' are, I don't know. They wore masks, there were two of them, but I suspected they were part of a larger group.

"When they took Daniel, despite my shouting at them and cursing them, they couldn't have taken him far because I heard…" She closed her eyes, trying not to go back there, desperate never to experience that place again, but Daniel was here in her hand, and Cameron was right beside her. Strengthened, she soldiered on. "I heard Daniel scream. I'm sure I was supposed to hear it, that that was what they wanted, whoever they were. I don't know what they were doing to him, but he was screaming so…I'd never heard him…not like that."

She pressed her palm again her eye, trying to stem that burn. "And then they brought him back, maybe an hour and a half later. They tossed him on the floor and left and he was still screaming and clutching his head and I didn't know what to do, I just sat there, Cameron. I just sat and stared at him, and I didn't…I couldn't—"

"Hey, it's okay," Cam began, voice tender.

"No, it isn't! It's not okay, it will never be okay again, don't you see? This whole thing is just stupid and wrong and I can't fix it, I can't make it better. What's the damn point of any of this? All this machinery and medicine, all of those doctors can't fix him, I can't fix him!" She stood and shoved him away, locking her hands into her hair in frustration. Then, she noticed Daniel's hand, where she had dropped it, hanging over the side of the bed. Like lightning, she sat down again and grabbed him and pressed his fingers against her forehead.

Insistently, Cameron moved to stand behind her once again, putting both of his hands on her shoulders and squeezing gently. "I ain't saying that what happened is okay, or that you will ever really recover. All I meant was that Jackson's a stubborn bastard, and probably the most practiced at cheating death, so if anyone can pull a miracle out of this one, it's him."

Vala nodded absently and leaned down, pulling away from Cameron this time and laying her head down on the bed next to Daniel's hip.

After a moment, the Colonel turned to leave, casting one last, long glance at the fragile, sickly figure in the bed. He stopped at the door and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Hear me, Jackson?" he whispered under his breath, "get better or Vala will kick your ass."