Why Don't You Ever Laugh?, a batman fanfic

Authors Note: First story ever. Be kind, review, and be constructive. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy.

I laid it all out. Your world, your morals, all just a punch line that's getting old. So see through, so silly. You'd do better painting them black.

Hehheh

Heh

woooo.

…

But you're not laughing.

I should expect this. You never laugh. In all of our years, not a single smile, not a chuckle. I've told thousands of jokes. Sometimes I even get them right. Sometimes I get them a little left, but that's what every stand-up comic has to go through before hitting the big time.

Sometimes I just go straight into the deep end. Course, I can't swim.

Or maybe I just, how does it go…

AH YES

Let my mind wander. It never came back.

hahahahaha

I think I deserve a laugh, Batsy. Look at the trouble I went through. Come on. A courtesy giggle? No?

I've painted this town funny. Red was always the best choice for writing, you see. Makes it POP.

Oh, but red paint is so hard to come by. So costly.

I had to make do with little Gotham's citizens.

They got the joke, especially after drinking a few of my elixirs. They left with smiles on their faces and death in their hands.

Ah, but Bats, don't you see? Don't you get it? Why do you never get it? Are you blind?

Right there, Batsy!

The joke! If I have to explain it it's not funny, and if it's not funny, well no.

It's still funny! It's always funny. Just look at me! I can't stop laughing!

Oh, goodie. Look at our little audience! Do you see them scuttle? oh, watch em' fly! And here's my favorite bit, watch them fall! Oh, would you look at that.

Their safety nets are faulty. How hilarious!

You should know, I suppose. You sell them to 'em.

I merely cut a few holes.

heeheeeheeeheee

Oh, come on, big boy. Lighten up. Its a big show going on. You don't want everyone to be disappointed, do you? Of course not.

I just want to make you laugh, Baty my boy. Just want you to see the bright side! The spotlight shines on the comedian, and the comedian always laughs! Who wants to be in the shadows? How boring, really. you have to wear black, and be all silent, and do a lot of heavy lifting, and... right, we're talking about you, aren't we. Knight. You really need to get a better costume. When you really think about it Batsy, I'm looking out for you're best interests. I just want you to be on stage! We could be, nay, we are a duo, a starring act!

"The Joker and the Flying Rat"

hahahahahaHaHaHaHAHAHA

...

Laugh with me, damn it! Laugh!

The worlds a game! You lose! I win! No one wins! Its one big, sick, twisted, disturbed joke and it's all hilarious! So why are you not giggling. You're a madman! Too bad Arkham only takes my crazies. But not so seriously, its really all one big flying punchline. It's neon, flashing! You'd have to be absolutely batty not to see it!

HAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

HAHA

AHA

...

Why don't I see a grin. I've tried everything. I've tried jokes, I've tried killing people, I've tried turning on my natural circus charm.

What happened to you. You have to have laughed in your life. The Boy Blunder was pretty funny. Heard one of them made friends with a crowbar. But you? You were happy once, right? What happened Batsy? Did you just one day decide to be serious? Didja stop seeing the joke? What happened that day Bats? Did I do that? Hope I did, this is how a psychopath has his fun!

hee

heeeheeeheee

HeehooohoooHaHAAH

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...

But if you won't. If everything I do doesn't work Batsy, I'll try more.

I'll make you laugh

I'll make you giggle (heeheehee), smile, chuckle, roar, snort (heehooheee), chortle, guffaw, howl, shriek, crack up, break up, split your sides and be in stitches. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Even if it kills you.