Sasuke: LOL U MAD BRO? XP don't like, don't read, and don't review. You'll scare all the nice people away. :o

To all the rest of reviewers: Thank you for the nice comments ^^ Stocking's reaction to Sasuke hating sweets will definitely come in the next chap. Also, more dialogue between the mysterious villains. Also, as far as pairings go, I'm going to try and experiment with all of them (without it turning into some huge harem) and see who goes with who. So far, though, I'm sticking to the original.

Enjoy. This chap is more for laughs than anything.

Disclaimer: Don't own Panty or Naruto. Unless I'm some super lost great great cousin of the creator of either and they suddenly want me to inherit their business. The chances are slim, but hey, one can dream.

"Are there any questions you two would like to ask?" Garterbelt eyed the suspiciously dressed men wearily. Perhaps he had been wrong about these two being ninja. They didn't seem to be able to do any awesome techniques and they didn't look like ninja's to him. 'Hell, where the fuck are their black ninja attire?'

They had made it back to the Church and Garterbelt was giving them info on their temporary home stay.

Naruto and Sasuke could only stare at the afro man. He was tall and black, an indifferent expression plastered on his face. But that was not what interested them the most. He had a humongous black afro that ascended over them. It stood proudly on his head like a glorified trophy. Panty and Stocking sat next to them on the couch, watching their expressions with a snort. Sasuke was the first to awaken from his stupor and decided to ask a question that was beginning to get on his nerves.

"Yes, we do. Where exactly is Daten City?" He asked curiously. Now that he thought about it, he had never heard of such a city called Daten City before in his lifetime. Was it new? Perhaps a long lost city located near at least one of the villages?

Garterbelt replied, "It is on the borderline of Heaven and Hell." Sasuke could feel a sweat drop coming on. 'Shit. Is this place even located on Earth?'

"Hn...does it happen to be anywhere near Konoha?" He silently prayed in his head that Danten City was.

Panty answered this time. "Where the fuck is Konoha? Look, if it's not anywhere near Heaven or Hell, then it's probably miles and miles away," she sneered while fixing her nails. Sasuke sighed.

"That's what I was afraid of..."

Naruto paid no attention to the conversation and instead looked around in bewilderment at all the technological stuff. He had seen many TVs and microwaves before, but he couldn't say he'd seen a car ever before in his life. Panty and Stocking's See Through for instance. It would seem it was used to transport people from one place to another. He observed the wheel thingie in front of one of the seats and a radio that was weirdly installed in the car. 'How is it able to drive on its own?' He wondered. A grumble escaped from his stomach. He immediately bent down to hide the large gurgle.

'I'm hungry.' He sighed grumpily. 'When is this conversation going to be over? What the hell are we even talking about?' He turned to his right to ask Stocking.

"What's going on so far?" Stocking gave him a quick glance before indulging in more sweets. She shrugged, not really giving a damn.

"Locations, being lost in cities, and questions." Naruto snickered at this comment.

"Sounds like our trips with our sensei back at Konoha whenever we go out on a mission." Stocking smirked. Panty rolled her eyes.

"Typical that you don't listen when people talk," she remarked. Silence was her answer. She turned to glare at him only to find him off in lala land and drooling over God knows what. Sasuke had caught bits and pieces of this unusual talk, but he was more focused on the information they were given and formulating it into a speech. 'Like a mission report,' he thought with slight amusement.

Sasuke flexed and got up. "Okay then. Let me see if I can get all the details. We are in Danten City, a city located between Heaven and Hell." He pointed to Panty and Stocking with his thumb. "Your names are Panty and Stocking, which I might add are very uncommon and provocative names from where I come from." Both girls glared at him. "You're both sisters and angels and your jobs are to eliminate ghosts pretty much. Naruto and my job is to eliminate ghosts as well and in return we get 50 coins and get to go home. You two will accompany us and your rewards are 100 coins." They nodded.

He pointed to Garterbelt. "You are an immortal afro haired man and you monitor all of us to make sure we do our job." Garterbelt did not say anything. "...I'll take that as a yes. And you..."

Sasuke pointed to Chuck. "You are their messenger box and somewhat pet." Chuck merely pooted and began to snicker hysterically.

Both Panty and Stocking groaned and began to beat the crap out of the poor green zippered dog. Sasuke stuffed his hands in his pockets, glad that everything was pretty much sorted out. Everything, except...

"Hn. Alright. Since that is all figured out, where will we be sleeping?"

"Outside." Stocking instantly declared. She smirked at him, feeling his hatred for her seep from his eyes.

"In a box." Panty replied nonchalantly. Sasuke raised a brow at the two sisters. 'Such a happy bunch.' He thought sarcastically.

Garterbelt suddenly snapped at them. "SHUT UP BITCHES! WE WILL NOT TREAT OUR GUESTS UNKINDLY!" Panty and Stocking gave no indication that they had heard and instead closed their eyes, slightly bored. Garterbelt turned his attention back to Sasuke. "You will be sleeping in Stocking's room and Naruto will sleep in the living room." Sasuke slowly turned to the now seething blue haired goth.

"Hell no! I refuse to bunk with this ass whole. I will be sleeping in the bathroom." She smirked smugly at everyone. Everyone else just stared blankly at her. Suddenly, she realized what she had just said.

"Wait! No! You!" She pointed to Sasuke. "You will be sleeping in the bathroom." Sasuke glared.

"The hell I am. A good rest requires a good bed. Something I'm sure a couch will not provide."

"I don't give a damn about your good rest. I don't want you in my room."

Sasuke smirked evilly. "Why? Is there something you're hiding in there?"

"No. I just don't like bastards in my room who will try to molest me." She popped a gummy worm into her mouth. "I don't like molesters." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"And I don't like girls who call me a molester."

"I don't like you period."

"What does your period have to do with anything?" Sasuke moved slowly away from her as if afraid he'd catch "The Period."

Stocking face palmed. "Absolutely nothing, you emo hard of hearing bastard son of a bitch prick!" Panty whistled at her long cuss word appreciatively while Sasuke's eye twitched.

"You're lucky I can't hit girls..."

Stocking replied back. "You're lucky I don't give a fuck because if you did hit me, I'd chop your balls off and send them to your mother." Sasuke's eyes were slowly turning red."You wanna die bitch?"

Stocking was getting a crazed look in her eye. "Come at me bro," she gestured to him, glaring with a predatory growl escaping her throat.

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Panty and Garterbelt said at the same time. They looked at each other strangely.

"Afro freak, don't ever copy me," Panty huffed, a pout on her lips.

"Bitch, don't try to steal my swag." He fixed his afro. "Okay, fine. New arrangements. Sasuke gets the couch and Naruto sleeps in Stocking's room. Are there any complains to that?"

Although with a rather calm expression on the outside, inside he was secretly challenging them. 'Bitches, I dare ya to say something.' To his surprise, they all just shrugged.

Stocking smacked on a snickerdoodle. "I have no problem with the dumb blonde over there. It's Grumpy over here." she pointed to Sasuke who glared at the finger as if he wanted to bite it off.

"He really annoys me."

"Hn. I feel your welcoming embrace." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Bite me jackass."

"Don't start again." Panty sighed in exasperation. Sasuke suddenly turned to her.

"Just out of curiosity, how come none of us were volunteered to bunk with you?" All three people laughed.

"If only you knew..." Garterbelt shuddered, rubbing his arms protectively.

"Eventually he'll find out," Both angels said with a rather demonic grin on their faces. Sasuke could feel a sudden chill take over the room.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Naruto yelled. Everyone in the room jumped at the sound of the hyper blonde.

"I'm starved! Ramen has been on my brain for the last half hour! You guys got any ramen?" He moved from the couch to look up hopefully at Garterbelt.

"...Go in the fucking kitchen and see for yourself..." Garterbelt answered, rubbing his temples. Naruto whooped and sped off towards the kitchen leaving everyone behind. They stared at him.

Suddenly Sasuke realized something. 'Did that dobe listen to a word of this whole conversation?' He felt a vein popping on his forehead. "I hope that damned idiot knows the sleeping arrangements at least."

Panty laughed bitterly. "Che. Probably not. I'm glad that he wasn't volunteered for my room. Like hell that little demon was sleeping with me." Stocking just shrugged and trudged up the stairs to her room.

Sasuke flinched at the word "demon." 'Shit...I forgot. If they're angels, surely they don't tend to get along with demons.' He thought worriedly. 'What they don't know won't hurt them though. So I won't mention anything to them about Naruto being a vessel to Kyuubi.'

Garterbelt yawned loudly and walked away from them all to go to bed. "I'll be heading upstairs now. Try not to kill each other. Oh, and don't wake me up or I'll make sure to make your life a living hell when I get up." With that, he disappeared from sight. Panty looked back at Sasuke and then gave him a flirty smile. She lifted her red dress up, showing off her creamy thighs.

"You know, you're not too bad looking. Wanna go create some fireworks to spark our acquaintanship?" She moved closer to him and stroked his arm provocatively. Sasuke gave her a blank stare.

"...No."

Panty pouted. "Oh come on. Don't act like you've never fucked with a foxy lady like me." Sasuke looked down and clenched his fists. Now Panty looked at him weirdly.

"...Are you serious?"

"..."

"...You've never...fucked?"

"..."

"...Are you a eunuch...?"

Sasuke sighed and looked up at her in slight repulsiveness. "Look, I'm not a eunuch and before you go making assumptions, I'm not gay. Believe me when I say I could have sex with any girl I want but unlike you, I don't need sex to satisfy my life and I certainly don't need to develop an unhealthy obsession with it. It's not a matter of love or status, it's a matter of restraint and how I can handle myself. When I want to do it with someone, I'll fucking do it."

Panty winked. "Wanna do it right now?"

"...No," he replied with a bored face. 'She'll never learn.' Panty raised her arms in defeat.

"Whatever. I'm going to the kitchen to eat something real quick before I get some beauty sleep." She passed him a wink. "Night!" Sasuke watched her leave his sight. He gave a grunt of irritation and lifted up his cap to run a hand through his ebony locks and wiped at his glasses to get rid of a smudge.

"Damn women."

"Food, food, food. How I love my food." Naruto sung loudly to himself as he prepared to dig in to his first cup of ramen. He looked into the liquid broth filled with delicious noodles with adoring eyes. Lifting it to his cheek, he rubbed it gingerly along his face, cooing and giggling. Panty had decided to walk in at the wrong time. She looked upon the act with amusement.

"Jesus, you act fatter than me," She said jokingly. Naruto stopped his actions to glare at her. 'Dammnit. It's the blonde angel.'

"Language, miss precious," He cooed dangerously. "God wouldn't appreciate such vile words."

"Fuck off." She reached for an already made cup of ramen and sat across from him. Naruto watched in awe as she poured bottles and bottles of hot sauce into the tiny cup, her eyes shining with excitement. 'She'll be breathing fire like a dragon by the time she's done with that,' he thought with horror. She paid no attention to him and ate with relish, the noodles sloppily spraying on the table.

Naruto cocked his head at her behavior. 'Her eating habits are almost as bad as mine.'

"So, why are you and your secret gay boyfriend so far from home?" Naruto clenched his fist in anger.

"He's not my damn boyfriend! We're friends! ...And I actually have no idea how we got here in the first place. Though I think it's all the damned scarecrow's fault. He starts this weird jutsu thing and then poof! We end up here." He pondered it for a moment. 'In fact, if I'm not mistaken, it was said in a whole other language…'

Panty cocked an eyebrow, not understanding a word of what he told her."...What the fuck?"

Naruto sighed. "Nevermind." Panty merely shrugged and continued eating. She asked, "Where are your parents? They're probably wondering where their dorky son is." Naruto stiffened and looked into his ramen with a sudden uninterested expression.

"...I don't have any parents."

Panty shrugged nonchalantly. "What, they die or something?"

"...I don't know. I never knew them..."

Panty paused in her eating for a split second. "Oh...well whatever. Good for you then, neh? More freedom." She gave him a sly wink. Naruto looked up to give her a cold glare.

"No. Not good. In fact it's fucking terrible." Panty couldn't really sympathize with him so merely let it drop. Silence fell over the room for a while, except for her occasional slurping sounds.

"...Sorry." Panty looked up in surprise to give him a confused look.

"I didn't mean to give you the cold shoulder. It's just a touchy subject for me," he explained. Panty smirked.

"Whatever. I take no offense from dorks." Naruto pouted.

"Meanie."

"Dork."

"Bitch."

"Dumbass."

"Banana hair!"

"Fucker!"

"Potty mouth!"

"Lame comebacker!"

"BLONDIE!"

Panty gave a genuine laugh. "We're both blonde's idiot." Naruto realized his mistake and began to stammer sheepishly. Panty waved him off and downed the rest of her noodles.

"Looks like I won this round." She yawned and began to get up. Naruto gave her a mischievous grin, swishing his noodles around in his cup with a twinkle in his eye.

"And just how many rounds should we go up to until you finally see that I'm the REAL winner?" Panty slowly turned around and cocked an eyebrow.

She gave him a dangerous smirk. "Is that a challenge I hear, Naruto fucking Uzumaki of some shit place called Konoha?" Naruto grinned wider.

"The ultimate number of cups of spicy hot ramen we can handle until fire comes out of our mouth?" Sparks flew from their eyes until it turned into full blown electricity. They raised their cups.

"You're on," they said at the same time.

"Never again," Naruto mumbled. "I'm never eating spicy ramen with Panty ever again." He groaned as a wave of nausea and flames hit him. He slowly trudged up the stairs and walked in quietly to Stocking's room. He was immediately met with darkness, not a light source to be found. He closed the door and crawled on the ground to find his bed. Because it was so dark, he failed to see the drawer in front of his head.

"OW!" He cursed while rubbing his head. A bruise was sure to form. Mumbling about 'evil furniture' and 'dynamite ramen', he finally found his sleeping spot. He sighed as he landed heavily on the soft mattress and buried his head into the lavender pillows. He pulled off his hoodie and shirt, exposing his tan chest and took off his pants to reveal his ramen boxers. He nestled down into sleep, slightly sad that he didn't have his sleeping cap or his regular pajamas along with him.

"...Stop stripping and take your clothes back, you damn baka. I don't like sleeping with men's pants laying over my eyes thank you very much."

Naruto yelped at the unexpected voice that belonged to Stocking and jumped out of the bed. "GAH! WHAT T-THE HELL?" Stocking yawned tiredly and took his clothes off her head.

"Unfortunately, we don't have another bed so you'll just have to sleep next to me. Keep on your side of the bed, and I won't have to cut your penis off for interrupting my sleep." With that, she scooted over and went back to Dream Land. Naruto stared at her in shock before realizing her message. He instantly panicked.

'Shit, shit, shit!' He thought frantically. 'I always toss and turn while I sleep! What to do, what to do, what to do!' He shuffled worriedly around her room, thinking of an alternative but finding nothing. "Fine," he whispered softly to himself. "I'll try it out. Besides, she can't really cut it off. I'm a ninja!" He shifted into the bed and gently lifted the blanket over his chin before drifting off into sleep.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was lying comfortably on the couch reading a book. He blinked away the tiredness from his eyes to finish a rather interesting chapter. Finally unable to take it, he set the book down on the ground and turned off the small lamp next to him. He lay down to go to sleep and closed his eyes, feeling unconsciousness fall over him.

Squeak, squeak, squeak.

His eyes flew open, eyebrows furrowing at the rather annoying sound.

Squeak, squeak, squeak.

He groaned and lifted a little to detect the sound. 'Is it a mouse? Someone walking up the stairs?' He narrowed his eyes and instinctively reached for his kunai knife located on the side of his shoe.

Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. The noise was getting...faster.

Sasuke blanched at the now detected sound. "Bed springs?"

"Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh..." A loud and lust filled moan escaped from one of the walls. Groans. Panting. More moaning. Flesh hitting flesh...

Sasuke's face turned crimson. 'Oh god. Please no. How unsanitary. How embarrassing. She has guests!' A loud moan and licking sounds filled the room. His face turned pale. He launched himself at his pillow and covered his ears with it. "No, no, no, no, no!" He whispered angrily. "Find my happy place, a place called Happy, in a happy land filled with happy people-"

"OH GOD! YES! RIGHT THERE BABY! THAT'S THE SPOT!" Panty cried out in a heat of passion.

"OH FUCK PANTY! YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY!" Said some random guy.

'NO!' Sasuke mentally screamed. 'Don't contaminate MY happy place!' He dove deeper into the pillows, silently yelling in agony at the disturbing noises coming from the other room next to him.

"YES!"

"NO!" Sasuke yelled.

"FUCK YEAH!"

"No!"

"RIGHT THERE!"

"Not right there!"

"I'M GOING TO CUM!"

"Hold it in!"

"I'M CUMMING NOW!"

"Goddamnit, I said hold it!"

"OH!"

"No!"

"OH OH OH!"

"No no no!"

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

Sasuke pounded his fist on the wall. "Don't you fucking do-"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

Sasuke's scream of terror was heard in the nighttime air.

The next day...

Naruto opened his eyes slowly, blinking at the unexpected light coming from the window. He turned his head in fear, seeing he was closer to Stocking then when he had fallen asleep. He thanked the Gods that she was still asleep and had not noticed. He slid out of the bed silently and tiptoed to the bathroom. Closing and locking the door, he let out a sigh of relief and got a towel to get ready for his shower. Quickly turning the hot water on, he savored the warm liquid and felt his tense muscles relax. After about ten minutes, Naruto got out and dried his hair. Looking in the mirror he looked the same as he did back in Konoha. Spiky blonde hair sticking out in random places and bangs falling gently over his face. Warm cerulean eyes that showed slight excitement at exploring a whole different world. And a wide lopsided welcoming grin to perfect his boyish charm. Rolling his eyes at his sappy moment, he regretfully reached for the jar of gel and put some over his hair. The effects were instantaneous as his hair was now stiff and sitting tightly over his head with some locks concealing his eyes. He changed back into his hoodie and pants from yesterday and brushed his teeth. Heading for the door, he realized that he forgot his glasses.

'Shit.'

He rushed for the door, only for it to fly open and hit him in the face. He yelled out in pain and held his bruised nose.

"OI! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT...all...about..." He gulped at the blue haired teen in front of him. Stocking was up, her eyes slanted like a feral cat, If that wasn't scary enough, she held up one of her large katanas.

"Last night I specifically asked for you to stay on your side of the bed and don't cause a ruckus..." She whispered. Naruto backed away slowly. She walked in.

"You did not follow my orders. It is time for your punishment." The door closed behind her, leaving the two inside the bathroom.

Silence.

"STOCKING SLASH OF DOOM!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Lol more of a filler chappie but whatevs. Enjoy. ^^ Just tryin to add more pazzam to their blossoming...acquaintanship.

Sorry for the late update. I'm in school right now so it's hard for me to keep up. I'm still having writer's block for my other stories, but hopefully something will come back. ^^"'''

Review please.