~~Prologue~~

When you lose someone, is it different if they vanish? When they die, at least you have some comfort to know that they are in fact dead and lying in a coffin six feet under. But when someone is wrenched from your life, never to be seen again? You have to live every moment wondering if they are alive, injured, or if they are dead. You have no comfort, no safety at all.

Imagine if they were the ones who sent you away. Imagine what that would feel like. To have your child force you into a different world, one you didn't want to return to… One you thought you were living in before they showed you reality. Once back in that world, you don't know what is real. You can't even trust yourself then. You don't know what is real, who is real, you don't even know if you are real. You live in doubt, and you live in fear for your child.

When you lose someone… how do you move on?

~~Chapter One~~

Three years since that faithful day.

"Dad, I want you to find a way to go to the other side. I want you to leave here and make it back to your home. I want you to be safe. I want you to do whatever it takes to get you and uncle Al home. I want you to be safe, and I want you to have your arm and leg back. I don't want all your efforts to be in vain.So go kick God's ass, go kick Envy's ass on the other side… Go home."

Three years since I was returned to my rightful home, my rightful world. My daughter had sent us home, she sent us back to where we belonged. Ever since that day, I had been a different man. AL had changed as well. Everyone on this side thought it was because we finally got our bodies back, because we finally could live our lives the way we wanted to and not have to fight for everything.

They were wrong.

We fought everyday, for every small thing. Al and I never gave up hope that we might get to see Erika and Alexis, or Ed again. We knew we could just start over again here, but we didn't know how. In the other world, we took everything for granted, just going along with the wave of things because we thought it was our lives. We didn't think that we would have the past 23 years of our life ripped away from us, that our kids would no longer exist. We took them all for granted and now we were paying that price.

"Ed, what are you thinking so hard on now?" Al looked to me, returning to his seat from a conversation with someone. I looked away from the train window, giving him a heavy sigh. Shaking my head lightly, I tried to clear away my thoughts.

"Nothing Al, just pointless stuff." I rested my head on my head, looking back out the window. Al sighed, giving me an annoyed look. I sighed as well, finally caving.

"Fine, I was thinking about her. You know I can't just let that go!" He lowered his head, his face looking uncomfortable on this topic once again.

"Ed, we have to learn to forget that. We can't… Can't live in the past, or the future, whatever you want to call that world." He looked up then, his eyes meeting mine with comfort. "We have to face the fact that they weren't real, that it was a different world altogether and be happy. We just have to be happy Ed."

"Al, I understand that, I really try to. But you can't tell me that you don't ever think of your son, of May. You can't lie like that." I met his eyes with a fierce gaze. He looked back with sorrow in his eyes.

"I do think of Ed, but May I still have. She is still here in this world, and so is Winry. They may not be the people we knew in that world, the ones that were 20 years older, but they are the young people we fell in love with. Try to look at it like that, and maybe it will help." Down the hallway of the train I could hear the rest of the group coming back to the car. I straightened up, trying to hide the depression of my thoughts.

"Ed! I got the parts for your new leg! We can fix it once we get to Central, alright?" Winry entered the cabin with a foolishly happy smile on her face. She waved a few screws around, her wrench on her waist. I gave her a smile as she sat down, nodding in agreement.

"Sounds good Winry." Armstrong and Mustang entered then, talking amongst themselves about something.

"Fullmetal, why must you always run to the farthest places on this earth and then get yourself hurt?" Mustang cast a glance to my leg, causing me to look as well.

I hung limply off of its hinges, a few creaks coming from it every time the train made a wrong turn or bump. I shrugged, trying to remember what happened a few hours ago. Thinking about Erika always made me delirious to the rest of the world.

"At least I have my arm back, seems to be less of a hassle. Right Winry?" I turned to her, a small smile on my lips. She blushed, giving me a smile as well.

"Yeah, but the leg is always harder to fix." Mustang looked to me as if he had proved his point.

"I agree brother, if you keep letting everyone get the better of you like this, we may never stop anymore criminals as long as we live." Al looked to me meaningfully, as if he knew I needed help remembering. I gave him a small smile, turning it sheepish so as to look as if I had been scolded.

"Sorry Al." Was my only reply. He gave me a slight glare. Winry caught this, looking in between the two of us with a confused look.

"You should try to focus more, try to…" Al trailed off, his eyes finishing the rest of the conversation. Move on, they said.

"What are you two keeping from us?" At that, Mustang and Armstrong stopped talking. They looked to her first, then casting glances in between Al and I. Al sighed, shaking his head slightly.

"Of course not Winry. What gave you such foolish ideas?" Al looked to me, apology in his eyes. I didn't look back, afraid they might catch something else.

What were we going to tell them? Could we tell them anything? We had lived three years without saying a word… but somehow I got the feeling I wasn't the only one suffering from guilt. Al and I needed someone to talk to other than each other. We needed to know that someone else out there was someone we could trust. Even if it was still family, maybe that would help. Maybe the nerves would go away then.

Maybe I could hope to try and forget Erika and Alexis.