This is an anon-meme fic for Tiger and Bunny, the prompt being, "Kaede develops a crush on Wild Tiger. Hilarity ensues." More or less a genfic.

Er, that's pretty much it. Hope you like derpy dad Kotetsu.

Yes, Scarf-Tan's in there. She is everywhere. There is no escape.

"So, how is my perfect little angel today?"

"Fine."

Oh, why did kids always have to give monosyllabic answers?

"C'mon, sweetie. Papa wants to hear about your day!" Kotetsu tried to give his best pout over the video-phone. Kaede rolled her eyes. Puppy dog pouts were not as effective coming from thirty-seven-year-old fathers as they were when made by nine-year-old girls, apparently.

"Don't call me 'sweetie,' Dad. Names like that are for babies."

Kotetsu tried the pout again. Maybe if he did it really hard this time, it'd actually work. He wondered if it'd be possible to make his eyes quiver like in cartoons. That would win her over "Please don't be so mean to Papa, Kaede! He just wants be involved in his little girl's life."

"Okay," Kaede said, making sure Kotetsu could see and hear her annoyance, "but only if you stop calling me dumb names."

"Papa Kotetsu promises!" Kotetsu practically leaped out of his seat. Was he being entirely too giddy over talking about his daughter's day? Probably, but he could hardly care less. When you don't get to see your daughter very often, every conversation you could get with her was a joy. "So, swee- I mean, Kaede, how was school?"

"Boooring,". She didn't appear to share even half the enthusiasm her father had for this talk. "It was raining, so we had to stay in for recess. Mr. Staunchworth wouldn't even let us play games inside. He just made us do a worksheet instead. He sucks."

"Now now, you shouldn't be saying mean things about your teachers like that. They're just trying to help you learn. You should respect them," Kotetsu said. He wasn't sure, but he might have heard his mother shouting, "Oh, like you were any better!" from another room.

Nah, It was probably just in his head.

"Okay, Dad." There was another eyeroll, then a short pause. "Can we talk about something else? Nothing else really happened at school today."

"Sure, Kaede." Calling Kaede "sweetie" was a harder habit to suppress than Kotetsu thought. "We'll talk about anything you want, okay?"

"Well, I watched Hero TV today."

"Oh, you did?"

"Yeah. Barnaby and Wild Tiger were on it." Kotetsu's enthusiasm dimmed slightly. He would never pass up a chance to talk to his daughter, but Kaede's crush on Barnaby was a bit of a sore spot for him. You could only hear your kid go on about how cool and handsome here favorite hero is – conveniently leaving out the exploits of his very hard-working, good-hearted partner - so many times before you started feeling ignored.

"And what happened?:

Kaede lit up when she began to describe the events. "It was a bank robbery. Barnaby and Tiger showed up before any of themcould get away, but one of the guys had a gun and took a girl with some fancy scarf for hostage."

"Oh, that sounds really scary! What happened next?"

"Well, I thought Barnaby was going to use his powers to save her... But instead Wild Tiger used his wires to pull the gun right out of the guy's hand! He was really cool!"

Kotetsu could barely hide his joy. His daughter was finally recognizing what a cool hero Tiger was! This day was turning out to be better than he thought it would. "That sounds great, sweetie! I told you Wild Tiger was a great hero." Whoops, there slipped out one of those pet names. Luckily, Kaede didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah... You know, at first I thought he was kind of lame 'cause he doesn't really get a lot of points..." Kotetsu winced a bit. No father wants to hear their daughter call them lame, after all.

"… But then I noticed that he let's Barnaby credit for most of his rescues and stuff. He doesn't really care about the points. He just wants to save people. That's pretty cool. He might even be cooler than Barnaby!" Now that, on the other hand, was practically music to his ears. No offense meant to Bunny, of course, but Kotetsu felt that he deserved at least some acknowledgment from his own daughter.

… Wait a second, was that a blush?

"And I talked to Katie today – 'cause I missed the episode where they stopped that bomb – and she told me that she got to see him out of his armor." Yep, that was certainly a blush on Kaede's face all right, and it was only getting deeper. "She says that he's really cute, even with the mask on."

Well this certainly turned very awkward really fast. As happy as Kotetsu was for somebody to acknowledge that he was a very handsome man (because he was, dammit!), he didn't exactly know what to do with the discovery that his daughter was crushing on him.

Be careful what you wish for, I suppose. Maybe he could steer her into more of a platonic sort of admiration for his superhero identity.

"Dad, are you alright? You kind of just stopped talking." Kaede's question snapped his attention back to the video feed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... Don't you think you're a little young to be thinking of Wild Tiger like that?"

Kaede put her free hand on her hip "I'm not a little kid, Dad. I'm allowed to like boys."

"Well, yes, but... Wild Tiger is hardly a boy, Kaede. He's been a superhero for a very long time. I wouldn't be surprised if he was old enough to be your father!" Kotetsu couldn't believe he was playing up his age, but he had to deter his daughter somehow.

"Why are you being so weird today, Dad? You always talk about how Tiger is such a great hero and how I should realize just how cool he is. Now I am, and suddenly you're against it." Kaede puffed her cheeks out before continuing. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"I still think he's a great guy, sweetie, and it's great that you're a fan now, but I didn't really think you'd start thinking of him in that way. It's just kind of weird for your Papa." And it's making Papa very uncomfortable, too.

"I don't get why you care so much, Dad. Weren't you the one who said that Tiger was so much better looking than Barnaby?

"I was?"

"Yes!"

"Um, right. How could I forget? Ha ha." Kotetsu was really running out of ideas now. Who thought this would be so hard? "About that."

"Yeah...?"

"I was just, uh, thinking..."

"You were just thinking..."

"Er, thinking that...:

"Come on, Dad." Kaede was seriously losing patience with him. Kotetsu could think of only one thing to do.

"Ohlookthere'ssomeoneatthedoor! We'lltalklaterokay? Bye!" He had barely finished his last "sentence" before his hand bolted for the "end call" button.

"Hey, wai-" Kaede's picture blinked out mid-statement.

… Well, that could have gone better.

Kotetsu juggled the video-phone's receiver in his hands for a bit. He replaced it and got up. He walked circles around his couch. He contemplated banging his head against the wall.

Eventually, he picked up the phone again and called a different number. He waited for the other party to pick up. A new image was projected by the phone – one that was just as familiar to Kotetsu as Kaede's, but far less pleasant to converse with.

"Hello?"

"Bunny, I can't believe I'm doing this, but I need help getting my daughter to start crushing on you again..."