A/N: Just a reminder, this fic is most definitely M rated, and this chapter is why. Strong language ahead: if you can't stomach that, I suggest you back button it out of here.

Fractures

Twenty. Eight. Times.

He was stunned by this simple observation. She had been colder than usual when they arrived at The Room, but, as the count of her flickers rose and rose, Kakashi felt a very strange feeling beginning to form deep in his gut.

Why had he gone back to That Bar? He had told himself, again and again, not to go. But as hard as he had tried to resist, in the end he could not stop himself. She was his addiction.

Her glances today were anything but. They lingered almost longingly on his lips, his jaw, his cheeks, and most especially his eyes. Each time their eyes met they held, her eyes drinking in his own with a hunger that he had not expected.

He should have been ecstatic. This was what he had wanted after all, a connection with her that went beyond the physical enjoyment of each other's bodies. The intimacy that they shared this time was everything Kakashi had desired; with their eyes locked to one another they fucked with an intensity beyond what he thought was possible. She was sharing herself with him, allowing him to read the effects of every touch, every caress, every thrust of his prick inside her, and how it moved her. He should have been on top of the world.

So what was this sick tightening beginning to form in his belly?

He was now certain he had gone completely mad. Here she was, giving him what he wanted most, and his insufferable mind was brewing up a conspiracy. With every languid stroke of his fingers, she moaned without inhibition. With every mould and squeeze of his palms, she breathed hot and short. And when his velvet tongue tasted her, the firm wet muscle applying the perfect pressure and pace that he had learned and memorised, her body shuddered and rippled, and the scent and flavour of her filled him as she came. There was no falseness about her. Not tonight. She gave herself to him fully. Nothing was hidden, and nothing withheld. Her walls clenched around him in a painful pleasure as he thrust himself in and out of her. Her nails clawed into his back as he found the places deep within her that only he knew.

And therein lay the problem. A thought that should have occurred to him long ago, had only now reared its ugly head, and now that it had, it would not go away.

Was he the only one who knew those intimate places that made her curl her toes?

Who else was she sharing herself with? He realised again with full force how little he actually knew about her. Did she moan like this for some other man? Did she come as hard, breathe as quickly, drag her nails down someone else's back?

It festered away at him, this unusual emotion. She was his. He may not have known her name, but she had let him inside of her. When he looked into her eyes they told him she needed him, that he was giving her something that no one else had. That was his instinct, and his instincts were rarely wrong.

And she wanted him to leave it at that. He recalled that look in her eyes from last Thursday, when he had finally forced her to acknowledge him. She had said so much with that look. She had asked him to accept what she had given and to ask for no more

Instead, it had made him want much, much more. But these new looks were worrying him. There was a finality to them that terrified him. He tried to hold off as long as he could, and the night was beginning to form outside by the time his balls were aching so much he couldn't hold back his release any longer. His cock was barely soft by the time she pulled herself off of him, away from the bed and into the bathroom which he heard lock behind her.

She showered and dressed in record time, all behind the locked door. He could almost feel the intense emotion radiating out from behind it.

She emerged dressed and ready to go. But this time, instead of moving to The Door, she moved towards his chair, and leaned down to press her lips against his own.

After his initial surprise he moved his mouth against her own, not deepening the kiss, but allowing her to do as she pleased. She deepened the kiss herself, and once again, there were so many things that could never be said aloud conveyed in that silent act. He thought he felt a tiny bead of warmth drop onto his cheek, but when she pulled back her face was dry. Kakashi tried to convince himself it must have been from her hair.

Reluctantly she pulled away from him and moved towards The Door.

The one time he wanted his mouth to open and say the things he could not, it might as well have been glued shut.

As she closed the door behind her he felt the bile rise in throat.

It felt like goodbye.

She wasn't coming.

The realisation washed over Kakashi slowly, like a gradually rising tide, over the several hours that he sat in That Bar.

He had known. If he was truly honest with himself he had known all along that she wouldn't be there that night. The week had dragged on terribly; his eyes watched the seconds tick away on a variety of clocks with a barely restrained patience, one that threatened to snap at any second. But he had borne it, and now his eyes were fixed to the final clock, the one in That Bar, which now read half past too late.

He had drunk far too much. He knew it, knew after the seventh sake that he should most definitely stop, but he had to keep going to drown out the impending doom that seemed to be encapsulating him from the inside out. The alcohol surged through his veins. Liquid courage they called it, and right now that suited Kakashi just fine.

He stumbled only slightly as he left That Bar, his fingers gripping only briefly at the doorjamb to assist his exit. The cold night air washed over his face and gave him a little more focus.

Fine. If she wouldn't come to him, he would go to her.

His alcohol fuelled brain refused to acknowledge the flaws in his plan, the most pertinent of which was that if he didn't even know her name, the chances of finding her in a village of this size were slim to nil. Of course, cockiness sometimes brought with it a kind of boldness and impetuousness that a rational mind would never conceive of. The girl had pink hair for kami's sake. He would simply ask every person he saw if they had seen a pink haired woman recently.

He stalked down the street immediately outside of the bar. It was darkening outside now, the early onset that accompanied winter, and twilight had just started to fade into indigo.

A woman with a small child on her hip was his first candidate. He barrelled towards her, the words only half formed on his lips before she gave a sharp squeal of fright and all but ran away from him. He glared after her as she took off, frustrated at her obviously weak disposition, but quickly carried on with his mission.

He was determined to find that cold bitch that had decided to abandon him if it was the last thing he did. Who did she think she was? She thought she could just use him, to take what she wanted and give nothing back, but he would not allow that to happen. If she thought that he was some kind of sucker who would just roll over and let her leave, she didn't know who she was dealing with. His rage was growing with every step across the pavement, and he vaguely realised he had already passed several viable sources of information. He grabbed the next person who walked within his grasp.

"Have you seen a girl with pink hair?" He all but shouted at the young man, and several other people in the immediate area gasped aloud and moved further away as the youth began to stutter before him.

"P-p-pp-pink hair?"

"Yes! Pink hair, have you seen any?"

"I d-dd-d-don't think so...?"

"You don't think so? Or you haven't?"

"I haven't! Please, just let go of me!"

Kakashi growled as he pushed the man out of his grasp and continued down the street.

"Have you seen-"

"Leave us alone, or I'll get the police!" The elderly man shielded his wife and waved his walking stick at Kakashi to keep him at a safe distance. Everyone else had already hurried out of the vicinity at his last attempt.

Well, this clearly wasn't working. He needed somewhere busier, where he could slip through the crowd to corner people unaware. He vaguely recalled there being a night market on Thursdays. Not that he ever went to it – Thursday evenings he was usually sitting in his apartment, occupied with post-coital reflection. He moved quickly through the streets in the direction he thought it was, and pretty soon he began to sense the hum and heat of many bodies.

This was a much better idea. He stopped at every stand, trying to put a leash on his rabidity long enough to get some answers from the vendors there. He asked at least a dozen of them, and the customers waiting to be served too, with no luck. He had almost sobered up enough to realise the ridiculousness of what he was doing when-

"Excuse me," A man with a very round face called to him from behind a dango stand. "Did you say you're looking for a woman with pink hair?"

Kakashi gave the man his full attention.

"There's one right there if you're not fussy," He pointed to a small park just beyond the market. "But it looks like she's already taken, friend."

Kakashi spun around to follow the direction of the man's chubby finger. He could just make out the shapes of two figures and he pushed his way through the crowds of people to get a better view. His heart was racing in his chest as he moved towards a small public building that bordered the park, and he leaned against the brick wall there, taking a moment to calm himself.

Despite his complete awareness of the rarity of pink hair he tried to convince himself that he would see someone else when he finally peeked around the edge of the wall. Surely it was not possible that he could have found her so easily. The stars could not possibly have aligned perfectly enough for her to be the one that was standing just a dozen metres away from him. With this certainty in the logical part of his mind, and his subconscious telling him otherwise, he steeled his nerves and looked.

He was not surprised to finally confirm that it was her. Nor was he surprised to see her standing with a man. Even the little dark-haired boy that they watched playing on a swing with the adoring gazes that only parents could have did not surprise him.

What slapped him with brutal force across the face like a ton of bricks however, was that the man she was standing with was none other than Sasuke Uchiha.

His heart clenched with a sudden painful force that could have killed him, and he barely managed to hold himself upright against the wall. His mind could not process what he was seeing. It couldn't quite comprehend the sight of his raven-haired colleague's arm wrapped around her shoulders like it belonged there.

And she leaned into him. He drew her close to whisper something into her ear, and she laughed – she actually laughed – and it was so foreign to him that he took a step back, away from her, away from this stranger that he had fucked, but whose name he didn't know.

Except he did know. Sasuke had told him – had introduced them for kami's sake. It had been a long time ago, and at a club, of all things, a place that Kakashi detested almost as much as he did hospitals. He had been dragged along by some of his colleagues to celebrate the success of a particularly difficult mission, and Sasuke had turned up late, and with his wife on his arm, earning more than a little disgruntlement from his fellow shinobi. They all knew the rules – partners who were not shinobi were not welcome. It was their time to blow off steam, to speak freely about their work, and to sleep freely with whom they wished, if they wished. Outsiders complicated things. Sasuke was one of their youngest though, and clearly wanted to show his new wife off. While the rest of their squad gave the couple the cold shoulder almost immediately, Kakashi swallowed a sigh long enough for a brief introduction before the hint was taken, and Sasuke hustled her home.

Kakashi struggled to recall the moment now. He'd barely glanced at the girl. He was certain he would have remembered if her hair had been pink, but under the bluish glow that bathed the entire club all he could see was that it was light and he'd assumed it was blonde. He'd thought she was quite pretty, but he hadn't expected any less from the wife of an Uchiha. She'd seemed just as disinterested as him, and she'd let Sasuke do all of the talking. He'd said her name was-

"Sakura," Kakashi croaked the name aloud, tasting it in his mouth. He'd said her name was Sakura.

He felt pain in his palms and he realised his hands were clenched tightly at his sides, his nails almost drawing blood. Sakura. Her name sent a cold chill down his spine.

Had she known who he was all along? Did she plan this from the beginning? He ripped his hitae-ate from his head and threw it to the pavement, watching the scene before him now with both of his eyes. This woman he saw now was a complete disparity to the one he thought he knew. Every laugh, every giggle, every crinkle of her eyes and blush of her cheeks was a knife in his heart. These were the things she was keeping from him, the things she was not willing to share, and so he took them from her now greedily, imprinting them all into his mind with his Sharingan.

How could she have done this to him? As he thought that thought he wasn't even sure who he meant by him. Himself, or Sasuke? How could she have done it to either of them? He had known she could be cold, but he had thought it was all an act. But this, this was unforgiveable.

He watched as Sasuke tickled her under her ribs, and she darted away from him squealing in delight. She walked backwards away from him defensively as he stalked her, before he pounced at her and she ran to grab their son and held him up in front of her as a shield. It was the boy's turn to squeal then as Sasuke tickled him and his mother held him in place blowing raspberries on his cheeks.

And Kakashi couldn't look away. The domestic bliss before him burned into his eyes, but his mind had converted it before it was imprinted into his brain, already replacing his colleague with his own image in that scene. He had never been a jealous man, but right in that moment he found himself hating his friend.

He continued to watch as Sasuke lifted the boy from his mother's arms and carried him over to the rope bridge, holding his son around the waist as he carefully worked his way across. Sakura clapped and cheered as she watched.

Then the wind blew her hair suddenly around her shoulders, and a small ball that had been discarded in the dirt rolled past her. She turned to grab it, and as she reached for it something made her look up.

And then the ball was forgotten.

She stopped cold. Her eyes were locked on him for a heart stopping few seconds, and Kakashi could barely breathe as he waited for her reaction.

She simply straightened slowly and turned back around and walked up to her husband's side putting her arm around his waist.

He felt his fury rising again, and briefly wondered if he had misjudged her as an intelligent woman. Surely she knew that he would not just walk away. If she chose to ignore him now there was going to be a scene, and he was certain that they both knew it would not be pretty. But she redeemed herself somewhat, when after a moment, she leaned in and spoke to her husband briefly, he nodded, and she turned to walk back in Kakashi's direction.

Her eyes never made contact with him once. Even when she walked past him and grabbed his arm, pulling him deep into the alleyway alongside what he now realised was a public toilet. She only stopped once they had reached the dead end, a dark and cluttered space littered with old boxes and wooden pallets.

Finally she turned to face him, the anger radiating off of her a new level of emotion that gave Kakashi a not unwelcome thrill.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?"

Success, at last. Her chilling tone gave him no remorse; Kakashi couldn't help but feel a strange sense of excitement that he had managed to make the ice queen speak.

"You missed our appointment, Sakura."

Her face pinched in surprise at the sound of her name coming from his lips. Her whole body tensed up, like cornered prey, but very quickly her eyes narrowed again dangerously at him.

"It was never a fixed booking."

"I beg to differ." Her eyes flicked to the unseen direction of her husband and his hand darted out to pull her face back towards him. "You've made a commitment to me, Sakura. Just because you didn't say it, doesn't mean it didn't happen." His fingers gripped tighter around her chin.

She glared at him defiantly. "I've never promised you anything."

His other hand reached up to lay against her exposed neck, his thumb brushing gently over her throat, even as his first hand clutched firmly and dangerously at her jaw. "But you did. Your eyes told me everything I needed to know."

"Let go of me," She ground out as she tried to free herself from him, her curled up fists pressing against his chest, trying to push him away. "Let go of me, I have to go back."

"No."

Her eyes narrowed further. "Alright, I don't have to go back, I want to go back."

"You're lying to yourself now, Sakura."

"I'm not lying." She stopped her struggles. "I don't want you anymore. I did, once. But I got what I needed from you, and now it's over."

She was so defiant, looking straight into his eyes as the lie spilled from her throat. And if he hadn't seen that tell-tale flicker, he may have even believed it.

"So what will you do now then?" He moved closer against her, breathing the words into the shell of her ear, and felt as she tried to hide the shudder that rolled through her by pushing him harder away. He held her tighter. He could feel his erection straining against the front of his trousers. "Go back to that lie that you've been living? Pretend that every time he fucks you, you won't imagine that it's my cock that's making you wet?"

The flicker of lust in her eyes contradicted her actions, as she saw the direction this conversation was leading them to and tried to push her way out of his grasp with a frantic desire to shut out his words which rang truth in her ears.

"Let go of me."

But Kakashi couldn't stop now. He had opened the dam, and he would be damned if he wouldn't let the whole river wash them away. He pressed his hard prick against her and moved his hand down from her neck to squeeze one of her breasts roughly as he spoke. "Will you touch yourself when he's not there, and imagine it's my tongue licking your cunt?"

"No," She breathed hot and hard, even as she tried to block her ears to the words that she didn't want to acknowledge. "Stop it! It's not true! Why can't you just leave me alone!" His cock was digging into her hip, impossibly hard like a chunk of marble. And contradictory. Things that hard were supposed to be cold, but this was burning heat.

His free hand moved on its own, and he pulled her skirt up and roughly kneaded at the back of her one of her thighs and up to her backside, pulling her core hard against his erection.

"Where is it?" He ground out. "I want to taste it, I want to taste your cunt." His hand shook as he held her tightly by her jaw. She gasped as he shoved his wandering hand unyieldingly down the front of her pants and forced two fingers between the soft flesh there.

"Have you let him taste it?" She whimpered as he drove his fingers to the hilt. "Is that why you shower before you go home to him? To wash the taste of my cock from your snatch?"

She gasped again loudly as he thrust his fingers in and out of her, and she cried out as he added a third to stretch her more fully. He was so angry, she could see the jealous fury in his eyes, and she could feel her jaw bruising with his increasing grip. She was frightened, but she was also so turned on by both his furious thrusting inside her and his possessive rage that she was already close to orgasm.

His whole body pushed up against her, pinning her to the wall, his nose and masked mouth was pressed into her cheek, the stubble on his chin prickling against her jaw. His voice came out as a rough growl. His fury was getting the better of him.

"Do you kiss me after you've had his cock in your mouth?" He could suddenly feel her muscles clenching around his fingers and he knew she was close. But this was about his satisfaction, not hers, so he pulled his hand abruptly from her crotch and shoved the front of her panties aside just enough so he could thrust himself inside her. His prick was so hard it was painful, and his building rage did not surmount his need for her, it enhanced it.

She cried out again as he entered her, a clear indication that despite her apparent resistance she could not hold back the pleasure he was inflicting on her. They both gasped and panted, their bodies sheened in sweat and their breath coming in clouds of steam, the heat generated by their passion transposing with the cold night air. Kakashi felt like a mad dog; consumed by both lust for the woman beneath him, and by his irrational fury at her perceived betrayal.

"Do you say his name when you fuck him? Does he make you come?" He thrust harder, driving her against the stone wall at her back. The woman before him gave no answer other than to moan as he increased his pace dramatically. "Does he?" He shook her by the neck he still grasped, challenging her to answer him.

"Does he-"

"No!"

"No what?"

"No, he doesn't make me come!" She managed to barely string the sentence together as they both neared their climax. Kakashi pummelled into her and she hung onto his shoulders for dear life before they both dropped their heads back as his heat burst inside of her and her own body exploded into orgasm simultaneously.

They held each other as their breathing subsided for a long time. And then he watched with utter helplessness as her mouth opened, and she spoke the words he didn't want to hear.

"But I love him."

Kakashi slowly released her from his grip, and she slid down the wall, planting both her feet back on solid ground.

He couldn't even look at her. He had filled her up with his rage and it had passed from him just like that. All he felt now was shame. And the sickness of what was to come.

He couldn't. She couldn't. It wouldn't work, none of it - and he knew it all too well – but it didn't stop him from his irrational desire to make her leave her life for him. But even as the thought entered his head he knew it was impossible.

Sasuke was his colleague, but more importantly, he was his friend. They had a child. They were a family. No matter how much they clearly desired each other, they both knew that neither of them would tear that apart.

"Why?" He managed to croak. "Why did you start this, Sakura?" He was pleading with her now. This was his final closure. He needed confirmation from her of what he already knew in his heart. "You knew this was how it was going to end."

He finally managed to look into her eyes, and all he saw there was sadness and regret. He turned to face her fully, grasping her shoulders lightly as one burning question demanded to be answered.

"Tell me you didn't know all along who I was to him."

"No!" She grasped him back, her forehead pressing against his, her breath hot against his chin as she spoke. "I didn't know, I swear!" A progression of single tears were rolling down her cheeks now, and there was a certain desperation to her voice that begged that he trust her in this. "I would never have chosen you if I'd known. The first time I knew who you were was when you showed me your Sharingan."

The tears spilled from her eyes now, as she realised the true cause of his rage at her. He pulled her to him as she cried out all of the emotions that had built up through the months of their union into his shirt, washing it all effortlessly away like an unclogged drain. Though he was incapable of crying, he shared every moment of her hopelessness in that moment. He knew that she was telling him the truth. He had seen that flicker of recognition in her eyes when she had seen both of his for the first time, and that had been the beginning of the end. Sasuke would have told her about his colleague who was not an Uchiha who nevertheless possessed the Sharingan. Every Uchiha knew about him, and now, she was one of them.

He stroked his hand gently down her back as her sobbing began to subside. There was not a fraction of anger left in him now, and he cherished this moment that he was sharing with her as much as he would cherish every moment that they had shared together in That Room.

There was still one final thing that he needed to know though. One thing that he needed to hear from her before he forced his feet to carry him away from her forever.

"Sakura," He pulled back from her just enough to look down at her face. "If you love him, then . . . why?"

She sniffed, and reached up one hand to wipe her eyes. She took a long moment to think before answering him, looking him in the eyes when she was ready to.

"I love Sasuke with all of my heart, really I do. He's a wonderful father. He's everything I ever wanted for my family." She dropped her eyes from his in shame. "But no one is perfect." She took a deep breath before saying what she really meant. "I just . . . I just needed an excitement that he couldn't give me."

She looked cautiously back up at him, and he looked into her eyes seriously as he considered her words.

It all fell into place for him. This woman in his arms that he had thought was the most complicated creature in the world was quite simple really. She had wanted to raise a family and to be a mother and she had found the best man in the world that she could possibly have to achieve those things. And once she had those things she had tried to put them above everything else, and to ignore that secret side of her she kept locked away. But in the end, it had overcome her. She was a passionate, sexual woman, and as much as she loved her husband he just could not provide her with the stimulation that she needed to keep that part of her satisfied.

And so she had searched for someone to help her. And she had found him.

He couldn't help but feel in awe that she had shared that secret part of herself with only him. He would forever be the only man who knew the truth about her, the only man who had the pleasure of meeting the creature that she would now lock away again for good. And he knew beyond a doubt that she would.

She would hide that part of herself away forever. She would choose to live only half of a life. For her child, for her husband. She would make a sacrifice of part of herself in exchange for them.

She was an incredible woman that he had had the privilege of sharing a beautiful thing with, but he too would walk away now, for her. Now that he knew that she would be ok, that she was strong enough to do it, he could do it too. Her half life would be a happy one, full of love, and that was all that he needed to hear.

He leaned down and brushed her hair back from her eyes, and the tears began to spill again as she saw in his eyes that he had understood her. It was time for goodbye. Her chin trembled as he pulled his mask down and pressed his lips against her own. He didn't know if he had deepened it or if she had, but as their tongues met for the last time everything that they would have, or could have said to one another over those unforgettable months of Thursdays flowed between them in a flood, filling them both with everything they would need to get them through. Withdrawal would come hard as it always did when an addiction is wrenched away, and they would take as much as they could in this last hit.

Finally, with more effort than he had ever had to use in his entire life, Kakashi pulled himself from her, and without a backwards glance, he walked away.

He had thought he had hit the jackpot. No tongue-tied beginnings. No tiresome small talk. No uncomfortable silences, or awkward moments when you realise your lover is on an entirely different page. No arguments about who loves who more, or who's cheating on who. A silent sexual relationship had seemed to be the answer to all of Kakashi's hesitations to fulfilment.

He hung his head and laughed darkly.

If only he'd known.

He had been a fool.

But he would always have the memory of those Thursday afternoons.

Fin.

A/N: And there it is. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. I was actually crying as I wrote the end... perhaps someday I'll actually write a happy ending for these two, but I don't see it in the foreseeable future. But I am going to have a change of pace from the angst for a while - next up, an Itachi x Sakura romcom.